Thanking God

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I’m sick to the back teeth of hearing boxers and MMA fighters thanking God after a contest. Why do they always have to bring God into it?

“Yeah it was God who made it possible for me to kick fuck out of him. He’ll be pissing blood for a week and I couldn’t have done it without God’s help.”

I notice they never mention God when they’ve lost.

Nominated by Allan.

199 thoughts on “Thanking God”

  1. I have to admit I was once relegious, dispite the fact milions have gone to slaughter in the name of God, I went to paticularly dodgy one once and looked up and said “God if you are really there then you wont let this happen”. well it did, shit load of dead people and an empty seat in church ever since.
    God is a crutch to accept the unacceptable.

  2. Serena Williams thanks ‘Jehova’ after every victory speech.

    The manly fucking simpleton cunt.

  4. Chris Eubank didn’t thank god,he thanked himself. Now there was one mad-as-fuck,gobshite of a man who didn’t give a shit what anyone thought,and,by fuck,he did it with style. I liked him.

    • Agreed. That Theroux documentary with Eubank is fucking hilarious.

      • Another Eubank classic was the series At home with the Eubanks…..
        The TV crew got to peek into the mad mad world of Eubank, you couldn’t but laugh at his long suffering wife rolling her eyes every time the daft Cunt said or did something , my favourite moment was when for absolutely no apparent reason he started shadow boxing in his back garden dressed in a dishdasha….. Eubank magic!!

  5. Like lewis Hamilton. He’s always thanking God and Jesus for his wins and success.

    Yea so God took time out to help you win a race but he just couldn’t be bothered to do anything about all the people that starved to death today or the kiddies that died from cancer.

    God doesn’t exist but if he does he’s a cunt.

    … I really hope god has a sense of humour …

  6. Thanking Cod? I would rather thank Haddock myself.

    Boom boom! #Basilbrushthecunt

  7. Either God is a cunt, or he /she /it is not all powerful. And if he’s not all powerful he can’t be God, because God is all powerful. Therefore God is a cunt. Or more likely someone made up to frighten children, and entire populations, into doing what they’re told. And peacefuls into killing whoever they feel like killing or are told to kill. Infantile superstitious cunts.

  9. On a more serious note, check out “God’s song” by Randy Newman. I can’t do links, so you’ll have to find it yourself.

    • Thanks for that.Checked it out. Great blues and great song. I had never heard that one before.

  10. As we know all to well on this site, there is only one, and that is Allah. You know, the cunt who has a twat called mighty mo as a sidekick. Well I don’t believe fuck all of that nature, and if that makes me a cunt, well all well and good.

  11. Just letting God know I’m snow proof and settling in to watch Arsenal destroy the Oil Funded Cunts.

  13. This cunting has inspired me to cunt god. (The old one).

    It’s going well but it’s gonna take day or so to finish so don’t be surprised if I get struck down in the next couple of hours by a freak of nature.

    We’re all going to hell anyway so fuck it.

    • Gimme dat ole time religion
      Gimme dat ole time religion
      Don’t gimme no affliction
      Dat ole time religion
      Is good enough for me
      It’s good enough for you…

      (Captain Beefheart 1969)

  14. Anyone watching the pledge?

    What a fuckin state June sarpong is tonight.

    Luckily I have the sound drowned out with Chopin so I’m not listening to the cuntitude but she’s dolled up like she’s at the Oscars or something.

    Man I hate that cunt.

  15. Diane Abbott pulling out of QuestionT ime tonight has made me think of Jeremy Corbyn pulling out of her…

  17. Man used to believe in multiple Gods, Greeks, Romans etc. Now most major religions only believe in a single God. So we are getting closer to the actual number all the time.

  18. The big freeze is a cunt
    Anyone watching the big freeze on CH5, now. we all know that there is 48% of the country who are thick as mince cunts so this programme must be aimed at those dozy bastards.
    These experts are telling people to wear gloves, and a woolly hat if you’re gonna go out, if you have to go out in your car make sure there’s some fuel in the fucking thing, fo’fuxake what would we do without their pearls of fucking wisdom?
    I caught that Dan whatsthecuntsname on the ALBBC early morning programme yesterday before I put my gloves and woolly hat on and went to work, and I kid you not, they were telling us how to walk in snow, they said we have to… wait for it…. walk like fucking penguins, the piss taking cunts, and that fucking Dan Cunt demonstrated how to fucking walk like a fucking penguin AAAAArrrggghhh

    • Sadly it’s true Carey,I’ve had a fucking good laugh this afternoon and evening watching neighbours struggle like fuck with their smart Beamers and Audis spinning and skidding around like bambi on ice.

      The snowflake cunt at the top of the road got his misses to come out and help him clear the the snow from around the tyres of his precious A3. She was wearing a dressing gown and slippers, no gloves or appropriate coat in sight. Not sure the state of play under the gown…

      She was also grasping what looked like a pizza tray in her left hand and then proceeded to try and shovel the snow away with it.

      He just sat in the car spinning the wheels intermittently

      I think if I’d gone out and pissed on the snow it would have been more effective.

      Car is still halfway across the street.

  19. On a more serious note, the Church of England, ( having preached for 400 yrs or so ) has decided that its ok to be gay, its ok for gays to marry, and that other religions are ok ( just another path ) Universal suffrage and all that shite

    We ( christians ) are ungrateful bastards for voting to leave the “brotherhood of Europe “, That we shall all burn in hell for our inpunity. Finally, we are immoral and perverted, but its still alright to stick your cock up a guy’s aresehole, and have babies adopted.

    Now tell me again, God is fucking what?

    • Omnipresent and all seeing……like a very persistent peeping tom. 👀

    • God is fucking…everything that stands still for long enough.

      Used to have to sing an weird hymn at 1ry school…

      “God is working his purpose out”…

      Always made me think of the joke about the constipated mathematician.

  21. The Church of England is a money making scam. It is forced to accept and adapt to more liberal views and be current up to a point otherwise it goes out of business. Now that just won’t do for all the work-shy, insincere, lying and often perverted cunts that infest this cult. So you have to change your mind now and then to be able to swim in this sea of free money. I’m not saying that there aren’t any genuine gullible cunts who do truly believe in a God, Devil and afterlife and that’s ok. If it makes them happy to have this ‘Toy’ in their play box that’s their business as long as they don’t bring it outside.

    • Pope Leo X allegedly said “What profit that fable of Christ has brought us” (presumably while engaging in the “unnatural vice” of which he was accused). Popes; you just gotta love ’em…

  22. I remember that little cunt, Frank Lampard, doing the ridiculously mawkish fingers to the sky bullshit when ‘dedicating’ goals to his dead mum… Funny how he never did a dedication to her when she was alive… Wayne Rooney is another one who does the blowing kisses to God and fingers to the sky horsemuck…. One can imagine Wazza in religious mood: ‘Eeeeerrr tanks God, like… Fer mekkin us an illiterate Scouse chav prick, for mekkin us an ugly fat bald cunt, and eeeeerrrr, mekkin it so ah’s can only get ugly and cheap prozzees…. Cheers, like, God fellah’….

  23. Aparrently B.liar recons it’s 50/50 that brexit won’t happen.
    Fine.
    It’s 50/50 that it won’t kick off and cunts like you will get what you deserve.

    I said ages ago, I hope they do block brexit. We should settle this the old fashioned way anyway.

    … Please let me be the one that kicks Tony’s stool out. …

    Block brexit.

    The north will go supernova immediately.
    The South will follow within 24 hours.

  24. Stranded at work.Been told I wouldn’t be paid for the night shift so have pissed off down the pub.Am drinking and eating whatever is in the staffroom too!

      • No although it is an important job.Just Shirley paid and undervalued.Put it this way if we all went on strike you would all soon know about it!

    • No way dude.

      Cunt them.

      It always makes me feel better, even if I don’t post it.

      • Might as well kill the time somehow bruv.

        I find cunting very therapeutic.

        Find the biggest cunt you can and research the cunt, make some notes and deliver a cunting (please share).
        And get paid for it in the process.
        Surely they’ve gotta pay you something for being stuck there.

      • The cunts will probably try sending you a bill for overnight accommodation !

  25. How come I’ve changed my picture tonight (Gravatar) but it’s only appeared once. Cunts.

      • I think he’s had a couple hasn’t he?

        I’d expect something rude, but maybe fiddler has decided to go clean for a change. 🙂

      • Yep, I’m no computer expert,but thought that I’d give it a go. Took a while but I’ve got the hang now.
        I did toy with a couple of choices…I’m certainly not done yet. I shall consider something more….fitting.

      • Create a WordPress account and create one bruv.
        It’s easy but it stretches the image so you may have to mess around with it.
        Check the dimensions.
        It helps if you have Photoshop or something but it shouldn’t matter too much.

      • It’s easy.
        I’m Paula the Pedant.
        If I can do it anyone can.
        Well, not everyone obviously. I mean there’s blind people, people who don’t have computers, people who don’t want to do it, people who………..Oh fuck it! I’m being pedantic again!

    • Is everyone changing their gravitar due to my great, genius, (stolen from dio) advice now?

      I thought I’d noticed a few changes.

      Think it’s linked to the email that you use. Check that.

  26. I thank God that I own guns and pray to Jesus that I hit my intended target. 😈

    🔫. 🇺🇸. 😀

    • I thank God that we DON’T have guns in this country.
      Not coz I got anything against guns, I’d love one.

      I just know what cunts we are.

      We’d be shooting the shite out of each other all the time.

      Not like the black “gangsta” community but just for a laugh.

      • I can think of a couple of mates that I’d love to say “dance mutha fucka” pop, pop, pop ha ha.

        Then we’d all be doing it. Huh huh … pop pop pop huh huh pop pop.

        FUCK it, makes guns legal.

        Let’s shoot some homes. (See I’m street now).

      • On a serious note Mr. DtS…there is something extremely soothing when one is (discretely) armed and facing some idiotic cunt who is trying to establish a new level of cuntishness. You can listen politely to his cuntish diatribe all the while knowing that his continued existence depends entirely upon your whim.

        😈

      • Na mate. Fair play to ya. I know you yanks love your guns. I love America and I love Americans… been to the states and everyone I met was lovely.
        But I’m a blood and guts, look the cunt in the eye kind of cunt … Ha ha … really I don’t know how you guys can have punch ups when someone could be strapped.
        Be a man.
        Get yer fists out.
        Get beaten the fuck out of.
        I wouldn’t be a man if hadn’t got shite kicked out of me in past years.
        Fair play to Americans but don’t rely on guns too much or you’ll end up a bunch of pussies mate.

      • Atom bombs don’t kill Japanese people, Americans do.

        (Apologies for repeating, previously posted in the wrong place!)

      • Planes don’t bomb Pearl Harbor…Japanese people do.

        Soldiers don’t rape Nanking…Japanese people do.

        Singapore…Hong Kong…Burma..need I go on?

        Perhaps one should consider…if you don’t want your country turned into a parking lot…don’t start a war…and don’t commit atrocities during said war.

        And if you want to fight to the last man…we’re only too happy to oblige.

        🇺🇸. ✈. 🔥. 🗾. ☢

      • General Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-lim-bin-bim-bin-bim bus stop F’tang F’tang ole Biscuitbarrell Cunster at your service…

      • Hate to but in….I don’t mind crispy fried Japs….I fuckin hate em… ( lost uncles in POW to the Jap bastards )

      • Pull up a pew Asim.

        My comment was not designed to lend any sympathy for the Japanese war criminals, merely to illustrate the fact that nuclear weapons, like guns, are harmless inanimate objects unless utilised by people.

        It’s people we need to ban, not weapons.

    • Any time I find myself opposed to gun ownership, I think about a 6.5mm Mannlicher sporting carbine, with a good scope, and Tony Blair within 200 yards.
      And I’m cured.

      • Or think about Lee Harvey Oswald armed only with a cricket bat… can you imagine the quantity of sheer cuntishness Kennedy would have got up to if Oswald hadn’t saved us by stepping up to the plate?

  27. Well Cunstion Time is on ABBC1 soon.

    In true ABBC style – as Sir Nige is on – they’re top-loading the remoaner crew with likes of Cuntosaurus Rex Clarke and Owen (who?) Jones, etc.

    The only respite (possibly) coming from Michelle Dewberry.

    The biggest regret is that Diane Abbott pulled out. No doubt at the behest of the other remoaner cunts on the panel (so’s not to destroy their case in a single KFC fuelled imbecilic response).

    Either way Sir Nige will go through those cunts like shit through a goose providing “Tweedle-dumb and Dimble-dee” allows him to answer!

    ABBC cunts!

    • Cheers for the heads up rebel.

      I’m gonna brave the cuntitude just this once as king Nige is on.

      …The first time I’ve watched the beebistan in ages.

      ..here goes. This might get messy.

    • And what the fuck is “ONEness”!?!

      Yet more virtue-signalling, “inclusivity” pap from the ABBC, paid for by the people who hate the neo-liberal meejah cuntfest that it has become!

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