The Superbowl

A 3-course cunting please for American Football and the Superbowl. Or rather, the sudden obsession that the British Media appears to be harboring for this fucking borefest of a sport.

As some may have gathered, I’m into sports. Many and most are of interest to me; even a few of those favoured across the ocean. But American Football is never something I ever ‘got’ and found the endless stop-start, stats-obsessed games of chess with steroided hulks a complete turn off. Each to their own. I accept I could well be a cunt for not liking something seemingly very popular with our friends across the pond.

The fucking nub of the matter though – every cunting news outlet in this, THIS country is currently fawning over the NFL Superbowl like never before. Every site from the Al-BBC to the Mail is covering multiple stories on this over-indulgent wank. Why? Since when have fucking white-van men driving to a building site ever said to each other “Oi Tel, you see the match last night? Brady didn’t ‘alf put down some facking top yardage in the offensive zone.”

Just what is it with Britain furtively absorbing all the bastard imports from the US? Halloween has gone from a mildly routine knock-door-run evening, asking for a few bob – to a full-on fucking mammoth commercialised holiday season. Black Friday can kiss my faeces and don’t even get me started on the cringeworthy adoption of ghetto dialects.

But American football? Really? It’s getting disproportionate coverage considering that no fucker here plays it. The last two years especially have become unbearable – I suspect a fair bit of the love-in stems from the significant ‘celebrity’ presence in and around the sport; a vile cancer that permeates our two countries more than any other in the world.

Fuck off with the pigskin. The only fucking oval ball I want to see is the one being hoofed from Jonny Wilkinson’s boot. Fuck quarterbacks, fuck yards, fuck Tom Brady, fuck that BBC mong presenter ‘Chappers’ who literally blows his beans on screen every time he presents the NFL show, fuck the superbowl and most of all, fuck the British media for forcing this festival of cunt down our throats.

Nominated by The empire Cunts Back

95 thoughts on “The Superbowl

  1. American football is the most over hyped overrated boring pile of fucking shit anywhere on the planet.

    That’s all I want to say.

    • I don’t believe there is much of an appetite for this shitty travelling circus at Wembley a few times a year. Ok the games maybe sold out but how many of these are ex-pats or tourists? They tried a London Monarchs team a few years ago and it died on its arse averaging crowds of a mid table League One team, all about cash to help pay off Wembley rebuild going over budget.

    • I was in the states for superbowl Sunday a few years back and it amazed me that in California you had people getting very over zealous supporting teams from Seattle and Pittsburgh, the supporters in question were all decked out in shirts and all manor of team garb purchased for the day. I know the FA cup final is a big deal at home but walk in to your local and people do not get decked out in another rival teams kit. It was built up and hype for days then the locals got pissed waited for the half time show ate an equivalent of their own body weight in chicken wings,fries and ribs then fucked off. Leaving the tourists to finish off a right royal day on the piss, best of it was about 9 pm some scoucer bunged the barman $20 and he put the real football on the telly,.

    • The “other” game is Baseball! As I am an Americunt…and new here I will refrain from further comment…except to say…we are not all obese. 🤔

      • As a sport loving person I can understand to a certain degree the allure and the history of Baseball.

        But not American Football.

      • Never had any love for Crystal Palace (Simmons, you cunt!), but I respect them for telling libfucks and snowflakes to fuck off and still having there ‘Crystals’ cheerleaders at Selhurst… Amazing though, isn’t it? This country was getting blitzed and bombed 78 years ago, now all cunts can worry about is being ‘offended’ by pit girls and darts birds? Fucking cunts!

  2. Saw a comment from our favourite circus freak today. Munroe Bergdorf says those stupid pink pussy hats are divisive because “not all women have vaginas.”

    Yes, they do you prick, it’s one of the defining characteristics for a female human.

  3. Is it not just an advert fest and an excuse for the americans to overdose on hotdogs and other junk food without guilt?

  4. We do steal from US speak. SUV, ATM, step up to the plate, going home, Monday Night Football. Im sure there are loads of others.

    • Only cunts say ‘step up to the plate’. No self respecting Englishman would ever utter the phrase.

      • As an Americunt I love baseball and its slang. I played a bit as a boy. My favorite approach was to give ’em a hard one, then come in high and tight and finish ’em off with a backdoor slider. I got knocked around a bit but sometimes I got lucky and turned two unassisted.

        Self respecting Englishman? Is that an oxymoron? English humor is so dry.

      • Ah American football, televised man love masquerading as sport, fuck me they bring a different player on just to kick the goals, bejesus.

        Most of the damn yanks I’ve come across have clearly ‘stepped up to the plate’ a few more times than they really needed to,

        That includes the fat obese couple high 5ing on the NYC tour bus as it was explained to them that Maceys was the ‘largest toy store on the planet’ and the tour guide cunt who stood there with his cap in hand like a professional beggar expecting a tip, I explained no one tipped me in my job and I have, over the years actually lost money through strikes and industrial action in order to improve my lot, so to speak, rather than harassing the customers or clients for donations….. My tip for him, ‘don’t eat yellow snow’ you cuuuunnnnt.

    • yes, and ass is one of them ! ass is a DONKEY! J C rode one!
      it’s arse, understand? ARSE, as in ‘wot a lovely ARSE’

  5. American sport = Boring Boring Boring
    Booooooooooooooooooooooring. NFL, shite. Baseball, shite. Basketball, shite doesn’t even come close. Volleyball, shite. Nascar, shite. It’s a fair barometer of their intelligence. Cunts.

    • As an Americunt I must admit…I is stewpid! I is as dumn as a box of rocks. As you Limeys say…I is as thick as a brick.

      That’s why I read simple things that are short and easy to understand…like The History of Great English Athletes…a one page phamplet with writin’ on one side.

      • Alas ScB I do not. Here in the Colonies only books, not pamphlets has ISBN numbers.

        Besides, it costs $125 to register an ISBN number here in the states. As this is such a short list the cost per word is prohibitive.

      • Oxymoron, like American history?? Bore off general your sports are wank and your chat makes everyone on here want to boil their head in piss!!…..time to get the thesaurus out for an intellectual response? Or just be normal, call people a cunt and get behind it like the rest of this cunt loving cacophany, or stay quiet and scream into your bathroom mirror. Either way your retorts are dull!!

      • C C I am properly chastised. I promise to abide by the rules from now on and stick to calling people a cunt.

        You are a cunt.

      • Note to the Moderators:

        As I am new here I’m not sure if I violated the rules by calling another cunter a cunt. If I did then I will accept my banishment with heavy sorrow.

        In my defenseI I felt as though it was some good natured back and forth cunting between fellow cunters. Apparently some took offense. And for that I am sorry.

        If banishment is the case, then before I go I would like to offer my sincere apology to everyone here a IAC…everyone except Mr. Cuntsoffosan.

        Regards to all of you. (Well most of you.)

      • You’re reading your sports history books, meanwhile outside in the darkness there are sets of teeth stealing your Confederate flags and defacing your historical memorials?

        I think you have more important history to be looking after.

      • Actually Bob, (as I tried to explain) I was trying to have a little fun with sports in a thread about the cultural impact of American sports in modern Britain.

        However, it appears that some of those who like to cunt resent being cunted…even in jest. (Fucking fannies!)

        As to your point. It is quite valid. The Radical, Libtard, Cunt community here in the states has taken a page from the playbook (oh shit another sports reference) of fascist regimes the world over and are revising and rewriting history to suit their narrative. They know that he who controls the past, controls the future.

        The problem is we have spineless, gutless cunt politicians who are so afraid of these progressive cunts that they elbow each other out of the way in order to be the first to remove any vestige of our “racist” legacy.

    • And how about that other sport for cock Wombles ICE HOCKEY!!
      Also loved by the dull as fuck PC loving Canadians!!

    • The greatest ever boxers have always been American though…
      And Mac was the best ever tennis player…

  6. So many stoppages, very little play. Games can go on for hours. American women though have nice tits, and the crowd get scanned by the tv cameras picking out the girls with the melons. Lovely wank stuff!

  7. Another cuntfest is the Winter Olympics!! The most exciting thing that’s going to happen will be the closing ceremony!!
    I generally hate the winter and the Olympics ain’t clever!! So they’ve combined two particular shit things and called it an event!! It could be improved by throwing chicken chasing buck toothed non Brit sir MO off of the highest mountain !! That I would most definitely watch…..

    • Its mostly downhill after the opening ceremony. Hope they keep Sir Mo over there on spying charges or something.

    • The speed skating is pretty good, as is the Eddie the Eagle Edwards type ski jump, the 2 and 4 man bob, skeleton and luge. And who can forget the curling.

      I will certainly be watching.

    • Except for the English Cunting Team is England (or the UK) even in the Olympics?

      At least you’ll take a gold medal in something.

      • Not really General.

        We sometimes do ok in the women’s skeleton, used to be ok figure skating and once the the women’s curling.

        Apart from that just enjoy watching. The Mrs is Japanese so have a double lesson interest here.

      • Actually Mr. Stroker I respect that and was just having a !little fun with my kindred cunters from across the sea.

        I actually watched a bit as well and saw one of the UK teams competing. It was interesting. Ahmed Hassan, Ali Habib, Nyktyo Nkomo, and Rasneesh Patel.

        Damn! Welsh names are a bitch!

      • Make sure Trump doesn’t let any in with names like that or you will be like Britain quickly. I think / hope he is now aware that its your Irish friends that help sneak them all in to your country.

      • Hey Bob…we meet again.

        Why do you think Trump wants to build a wall? Our southern border is so porous that the goat fuckers don’t need the spud munchers to help them across.

      • Whereas American names as so well, American aren’t they?

        Manuel, Jose, Pedro, Fernando, Arturo and Fransisco for example – gold medallist hotfooters and wall builders 😀😈

      • PC, we let them in to win medals as our own fat, hipster youth could only compete in such events as craft beer drinking, thrift store shopping or beard wearing.

        It’s a different story with De Twoine, Laschvarius and Lil Puke. After they win medals the best we can manage is to send them back to Detroit.

      • Damn but you really are pedantic! Allow me to revise my earlier post.

        Charles Babington – Smyth, Reginald Hastings, Alwyn Llewellyn and Jock McPherson are competing for Team GB in the Olympics.

        Feel better?

  8. Cunting for McCain’s, not the ones that mislaid their kid but the ones who make chips n shit.

    These fuckers need to learn about advertising and marketing.
    Just caught an advert for one of their products. The content was bad enough for a food advert but to put the strap line “We are family” on at the end.

    A quick google to find a clip to post reveals there has already been dummy spitting for some time on aspects of this advert, possibly content removed last year. I hadn’t seen it before until tonight so unsure where its been aired.

    • Abnormal is the new normal. Bent is the new straight. I don’t mind a tight little ringpiece but there has to be a cunt about an inch away. We call the whole ceremony “treat night” up North. And ladies are more switched on to bum sex than the gals of the 70’s. Its even included in topics of conversation in the pub these days, Hey Dave, you and your missus tried the old bum sex. Dave’s missus coyly pipes up – fuck yes, particularly when I’m on bricks. He would rather tup my arse these days. Is it a Northern thing fellow cunts?

      • My northern mate was talking to his Doctor and happen to mention that his wife wasn’t as tight in a certain region after ten years of marriage and asked if he had any suggestions.

        “Well some regard it as a taboo subject” he replied, “But have you considered an alternative hole?”

        “What, and end up with a house full of kids..?”

    • I’ve thrown out all my McCains stuff and will be replacing with Aunt Bessie’s.

      The McCains were terrible anyway, you popped them in for half an hour but when you returned, they weren’t all there.

  9. Oh dear. I’m afraid i’ve been following NFL for 30 odd years so I must be a fat cunt. Once you understand what the cunts on the field are trying to do it is a fascinating game. However that takes time and patience when you haven’t been brought up with it. Why would you bother?
    People like to compare it with Rugby which is pointless…..2 very different games. You can’t compare a Rugby tackle with a “hit” , the degree of impact and violence is far greater. Also you don’t have “blocking” in Rugby. Imagine you are chasing the cunt with the ball and , out of nowhere , some big fucker smashes the shit out of you. Believe me, there’s a reason they wear those pads and helmets.
    In addition it’s almost impossible to cheat ( unless you are the Patriots) and because of the salary cap and the draft system very difficult for one team to dominate ( again unless you are the fucking Patriots)
    Anyway, I won’t try and sell it any further but I do think there will be a franchise in London. The new Spurs stadium has been specifically designed to cater for NFL. If you go to one of the Wembley games you will be surprised by the number of young families, the lack of bad language and the scarcity of police. They also allow you to take alcohol into the seats. It’s nothing like going to football, trust me.
    The episodic nature of the game makes it ideal for TV advertising and the limited attention span of the young these days. Yes, it will sell out…..there are only 8 home games for fucks sake! It will also fill a morning time slot back on US tv.
    One last thing……come on you Jets and fuck the fucking Patriots the cunts!

    • Sorry to say Freddie that given the choice would much prefer rugby. Played by really tough guys who do not need helmets and padding.

    • With you there Freddie… a Dolphin fan we are going nowhere fast. Brady is a cunt for not shaking hands with Foles. 5 Super Bowl rings and he can’t take losing, sour cunt and yes I hate the Patriocheats more than any team.

  10. Once a year I don’t mind it.

    Usually by 12am I’m pissed.

    Strangely it makes sense then!

    • Cricket’s a proper fucking game. Can’t compare with baseball were the cunt chucking the ball is trying to get you to miss whereas in creekit the cunt hoyin the ball at 90mph is trying to fucking hit you and using the ground to make it even more unpredictable. Clever fucking game.

  11. I actually quite enjoyed the super bowl. …after I’d spend half an hour on Google trying to find out what the fuck was going on that is.

    It does go on for way too long though. … never eaten so much Bombay mix in my life. Sick of the fuckin stuff now.

  12. Another Americunt here – NFL is doing most shittily here in the States so it appears they’re grabbing for whatever they can get. I’d apologize, but fuck it – you gave us much worse.

      • I had a mate at school back in the day, he was a good lad but unfortunately the most gullible person I’ve ever known, he followed the wrestling and was convinced it was real!!
        When a few of us tried to explain it wasn’t possible to smash some cunt repeatedly in the face without causing injury his face crumpled! It felt like I had told a small child that Santa didn’t really exist! But he was about 14/15 at the time so fuck him! 😂

    • Do you reckon ordinary folk are fed of these millionaires “taking a knee” at your national anthem?

      Unpatriotic cunts!

  13. The 2018 Winter Olympics from Korea.

    BBC Olympic presenter Radzi Chinyanganya. Understand he is one of the hosts on Blue Peter.

    Have watched him three times, each time he keeps going on about how cold it is.

    Of course it is you daft twat, it’s the Winter Olympics which involves much snow and ice. Thought perhaps you would have realised that before you accepted the job. Also most of the viewers I suspect would have enough intelligence to realise that it would be cold without having to be told so.

    Do you have any sporting pedigree or qualifications or specific knowledge to impart to the viewers other than it’s very cold?

    Thought not.

    Useless cunt.

  14. Claire Balding (god she’s an ugly chin) has just said impressed with Elise Christie (speed skater) because when interviewed she says what she feels.

    Fucking awesome wisdom Claire. Or is it Clare? Couldn’t really care less.

  15. The entire farrago of American Football deserves its cunting. Why do you need body armour to play a lightweight version of Rugby? The only reason the media are “interested” is because of the overpaid “stars” kneeling for the National Anthem because “black lives splatter, sorry matter” although given the rate of blacks shooting each other they clearly don’t to them. Other than that they think it is a televised anti-Trump statement so ticks the right boxes.
    Frankly, I couldn’t give a monkeys about this “sport” or the “World series” of rounders (How can it be a world competition when nobody else plays the wretched game?) I suppose the cheerleaders are worth a gander but surely they will go the way of the grid girls and the like or some trannies will have to be included.

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