The Nationwide sisters ad

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Admin were kind enough to post my nomination on Modern Advertising during Autumn last year.

But a special mention must go to those infuriating Nationwide sisters. Two cringeworthy, middle-class shitcunts bludgeoning their way through truly awful ditties that seem to last a fucking eternity.

For all the cunters who will say ‘oo?’ Play the above if you dare!

For fucking Corbett Christ’s sake. Adverts are bad enough, but these tone-deaf cunts from the fucking Cotswolds make each advert break a desperate fucking scramble for the remote mute button.

Hopefully the rest of their lives will be tarnished by endless Google searches, complete with subsequent derision and hate campaigns.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

75 thoughts on “The Nationwide sisters ad”

  1. Lumpy-faced, devoid of talent, teeth like a decaying cemetery, unaffected-by-immigration, reality-deficient, never-seen-a-refugee, über-indulgent harpees, bereft of stardust who, in the spinster days down at the Baptist Church, will try to deny this whimsical dogshit.

  2. The ad is achieving exactly what it has set out to do. Like Marmite some will love while others baulk every time they see it. It’s got people talking about and into the subconscious. Maybe it’ll work on some cunts.

  3. If only one of them was shaggable at least you could watch with the sound off.

    But oh no, two inbred talentless cunts, no doubt with fannies like a wizards sleeve.

      • They could do Assad’s ‘building limbo’ as his air force pound the shit out of all his innocent people.

    • As the Rev. Ike said (Derek & Clive)…

      Flo, Flo, I love you so,
      Especially in yer nightie
      When the moonlight flits
      Across yer tits.
      Oh, Jeeeesus…Christ…almigh-ty.

  5. But it lets their potential customers know that they have “normal values” and that they aren’t representative of any elite because the musicians on their ad are wank.

    I bet they’re not really anywhere that annoying.

    Adverts are cunty because utter cunts made them. The more effective an ad, the more of a cunt or cunts were behind it.

    Cunts.

  6. If you only watch recorded tv then you don’t have to see this shit, or any other adverts come to that.
    However, I do watch the Chase live at teatime. (to see what clueless fuckwits think – ‘I know fuck all. I think I will go on national tv to demonstrate’)
    The ‘Bingo Banter’ sponsor ads are so fucking toe-curling you have to wonder who thought they were a good idea and who the fuck they are aimed at.

  7. These cunts are another example of how this countries middle class have taken over everything from the working class. The working class are deemed as thick and racist and the middle class have taken over comedy, TV shows and Radio. It’s rare you hear a regional accent these days and the sense of humour has changed. Living in a well off area doesn’t make you middle class and I’ll always be working class (with a bit of class) most of these middle class cunts want to be working class anyways. Let me tell you something middle class cunts, supporting West Ham and living in Shoreditch doesn’t make you ‘down’ with anything you cunt.

    • Halifax Howard was an annoying cunt too in his “Who gives you extra?” ads. If Comrade Corbyn ever gets the keys to No10 we will have Mark Carney and the BoE featuring Diane Abbott on vocals covering The End by The Doors.

      • I doubt their limited attention spans could handle a song of that length LL.

        At best they might manage a verse or two of Strange Days… not that they would understand the words like.

      • Halifax have got to be the most cuntish adverts. Sadly I think you may be right. I sometimes think ‘No way can Cuntbyn and the rest if them get in power’ but because Teresa May is so useless I think they may get in, even Kensington and Chelsea fell to Labour. I come from a Labour voting family but I cannot vote for that bunch of cunts.

      • Yea or money supermarket. They’ve always made my piss boil from that queer bloke twerking to the fat construction worker to this he man shite, they really are utter wank.

        I fucking dread to think of what will happen to this country if comrade compo, McDonald and jabba the flabbott get their hands on power.

        We need Jacob Rees Mogg.
        At least he isn’t trying to be something that he isn’t or trying to be “down” or “cool” with the yoof or the working class.

      • That’s the most simply appealing thing about the Mogg. He makes no bones about who he is or where he came from but he has more empathy with the working man than the whole of Liebour / momentum / GB Communist party put together. On topic – the Pirelli calendar is being made with an all blambo cast. That’s 12 months of non white flesh – makes you think dunnit?

      • If The Mogg was ever to get in they would be rerunning all the safety campaign ads.

        Remember the ads warning us about;

        thinking before you drink, before you drive.

        Crossing the road safely. Not from between parked cars etc.

        Savile telling us to wear your seatbelt, clunk, click every trip.

        There was one warning of hypothermia with a guy walking through a snowstorm until he dropped, though more old people were dying of it indoors due to fuel poverty.

        Not to be a cunt and go out to explore the world in a shite boat was a good one
        https://youtu.be/tIpPfvAJv6M

        There was one with a boy out with his mum (randy looking cow showing a bit of leg) who nearly got knocked down by his own dad in a new car in this link somewhere.

        https://youtu.be/uUjhmBDUjFE

        How could Moggy ensure the remake these adverts for safer streets of today though?

        Here’s one of mine for a start…

        “Charlie says don’t get in a car with a stranger gets replaced by… a BMW screeches to a halt aside a group of young white British girls driven by a parking Stanley yoof and his bruvs on board”. The Yoof puts down his window to speak to talk & entice the girls into the car as the warning strap line says…

        “Say no to Stanley’s…..Don’t Get Innit”

      • I stopped using Money Supermarket as a direct result of those utter shite adverts, well done on that front you bunch of marketing cunts.

      • That Howard cunt has turned up in another sing a long advert for a hotels dot com advert. He was a right annoying cunt back in the day.

        Thankfully, I don’t find their adverts starring Top Cat & The Flintstones as bad, though I think Howard and the Haliban were giving us Xtra back then.

    • Yes. Couldn’t really formulate my objection to the clip until I read that, B&WC. Other than imagining having a telly and seeing it more than once. And the use of the term ‘crimbo’. And the awful chirpiness of the exercise. And the…yeah, ok. Bourgeois cunts purveying fake feelgood.

      • Oh, and my guess is that those two are Practising Christians and never lose an opportunity to tell you the Good News ™

  8. What a shame that Flo and Joan didn’t take lodgings at 25 Cromwell Street, Gloucester a few years ago.

    Fuck them.

  9. When I first saw this I had absolutely no idea what the ad was for: The Samaritans, Marmite, NHS Smear Test or Breast Screening, I had no idea.

    When it came to it’s conclusion I was sat there open-mouthed as I simply could see no correlation between the two ladies, their vocal and the Nationwide Building Society.

    The advert truly is dreadful, but, it is also genius from an advertising perspective. I mean immediately you have no idea what the fuck is going on and that pricks your attention. It is so woeful you have to watch it to it’s completion. You then get the punchline and feel ultimately confused and then – the real genius – you say to friends, family and colleagues: “Have you seen that shit Nationwide advert?”

    The fact you remember “who” it was for is the exact result the campaigners were hoping for. It must have taken some skill to persuade the Nationwide marketing brass to go with it.

    The advert is without doubt a cunt.

    The advertising exec who came up with it is without doubt a clever cunt!

  10. First real snow of the winter here and I will bet the little shits are off school, 15 minute drive from two other counties here so they stagger half term, which only finished last week. The few days of the year they will need their Chelsea Tractors to ferry the little darlings, despite living in one of the flattest counties and they cant use them, “break out the snow chains yah”.

    • I am actually looking forward to my daily commute being blocked by the end of the week, if not by snow, by crashed 4X4s.

  11. I hate these 2 fuckwits,they both a good hard kick in the snatch for these regular 30 second adds that make me concider putting a shot gun in my mouth…..nationwide should realise like the last poem themed fuckwittery shit adds with cunts are harmfull for business and no good can come from annoying the public you are trying to reel in……fucking morons

  12. It is an annoying advert but I agree with b&w cunt … I’d definitely bone the blonde one. …

  13. The most irritating and mind numbing ad ever has to be….

    You’ll wonder where the yellow went,
    When you brush your teeth with ……………..

    Only those old enough to remember the product are eligible to enter this contest by naming it!

    AND, if you can answer, then prepare the rest of your fucking miserable lives with that jingle going round and round in yer fuckin head all day long!!!!

  14. Most of the adverts on to theses days are targeted at gullible twatish morons who possess extremely low IQ’s.

    Whilst the Nationwide advert is slightly annoying I can tolerate it and do not get incensed as I do with so many others, particularly pay day loans, funeral insurance and fucking Gladstone Brooks PPI (FFS).

    Remember the day when adverts used to be clever, witty and amusing, nowdays just poor unimaginative garbage which has been seemingly churned out with little or no thought, the end result being devoid of any original thought, quality or artistic merit.

    • Fat fucking bastards. That’s all those take aways and sugar laden coffees, not to mention sitting about fucking moaning all day.
      Die soon fat cunts.

      • Oi! I’m a fat fucking bastard and, indeed, a cunt too. And it wasn’t takeaways and tax-avoiding coffee shops that caused it, just a medical condition. Although I do moan all day, it’s mainly on my feet. And as for the ‘die soon’, you’ll probably get your wish and there’ll be one less Brexiteer to argue to toss with treacherous cunts in government.

      • Be reassured Mr Moggie63 that my callous barbs were not aimed at cunts such as yourself with medical conditions beyond your control or responsibility.

        Btw, are you a millennial? If you don’t mind me asking.

        Either way, live long and keep on cunting!

      • As you recently said yourself Dick: “my trouble is, I just care too much…”

        It’s a fact. Your compassion knows no bounds!

  17. Gladstone Brooks are a bunch of vultures like all the other PPI cunts waiting to make a buck out of someone elses misfortune,what you don’t know is by the time these cunts have taken their cut you may as well have not bothered in the first place…….what I’m due a PPI refund of £3000 and your costs for doing something I could have done myself is £2846.88p, back the fuck up you thieving cunts……

    • Well the PPI claims companies are vultures but after paying off their fees and doing fuck all myself I managed to clear enough to pay for a New Roof on my house a complete repoint of all my outside walls, pay for a family holiday for five adults and five children to Sardinia in August and payoff an outstanding substantial credit card bill which was sweet as that was from the cunt bank who owed me the PPI in the first place.
      I know I could have got more money if I had done it myself but I have beer to drink a wife to pleasure and music to enjoy so let them fuckers do the leg work. Happy Days

  18. Yeh TV ads are soooooo fuckin annoying, just a series of cliches which show a make believe world that only exists in those overpaid annoying ad men’s brains.BUT it’s not all bad news, amongst the most irritating ads are those fuckin cosy British Gas ads featuring those fuckin penguins. I bet BG paid the ad. Companies millions for that shit. Result? BG has lost a million and a half customers! Lol. Maybe we’re not all gullible fools after all.

  19. But the worst advert EVER is still the one for Ocean Finance on LBC. Try and catch it you won’t believe how bad it is.

    • All those finance ads on radio are fucking awful the way they have to gabble terms and conditions apply in 10 seconds. Radio advertising is so fucking penny pinching

      • Yeh it’s annoying because they are sort of an afterthought and are only done because they have to by law but they are actually the most important bits .

      • Apparently there are still some people who don’t want to apply for an Ocean credit card!

  20. I was going to cunt this ad, every time I’m unfortunate enough to be ambushed by it I come over like my late father did with Elton Welsby, the cunt.

    It’s right up there with that cunting Tui ad featuring that titless spilt ass, fuck me that makes my piss and blood boil simultaneously.

    And the latest trend to target people in there 40’s and 50’s by using music/ characters from their youth can get to fuck too, He Man and Skeletor, Time of our Life, fucking Audi adverts using the theme tune from Are You being Served, Suzuki advert with some ‘dance’ tune I think from the early 90’s, fuck off the lot of ya, go on, fuck off you cunts.

  21. These tarts are even worse than the old bags who advertise Malteesers. All ads are shitty crap and the voice over artists some of the worst bastards in their profession – out of work actors like mockney Arfur Smith. These actors are so pisspoor they couldn’t even get an acting job on Eastenders. If I ever need to watch a commercial channel the mute goes on for all of them breaks. That cunty sofa manufacturer whose sale is always ending next Tuesday, for example, prattling on every fucking hour of every fucking day, worst of all are those bleeders who can’t afford or too mean to pay for music so they get some tuneless motherfucker whistling cunt to do their music – TSB Bank for example. They ought to pay us to sit through their ads which are usually written by 22 year old ex University wankers who know fuck all about what they are selling. Commercial whoring should be made illegal which is all ad actors are.

  22. It would be far more effective and get more people talking if they sung “Try not to be a cunt at Christmas”.

  23. Just went out to do a quick job and had the misfortune to listen to James O’Brien in the van.

    It’s like a car crash or some wierd porn. You don’t want to watch but you just can’t look away.

    I just can’t believe that one person can emit such astounding levels of cuntitude, yet be completely oblivious to what a total twat they are.

    In case you’re wondering he’s still banging on about brexit.
    Bigging up any cunt that talks the country down and yelling at and interrupting anyone with a sensible point.
    CCCCUUUUUUNNNNNTTTTTTT.

    ….Starting to regret voting for sourbry in the abc vote.

  24. Great cunting ECB. They’ve got to be among the most annoying ads on TV right now. Their only saving grace, is that the ads don’t feature a man who’s as thick as a pile of bricks and less useful than a eunuch’s scrotum. But yes, these two hags are immensely annoying, and their song’s are complete dog shit. Not that I’m thinking of changing banks, but if I was, I wouldn’t choose Nationwide, solely on the basis of these shite ads.

  25. Sunlife……

    It’s Joan dad,

    Oh hello Joan. I was just watching you soap your old minge thru my binoculars. Maybe I will invest in a new pair when parky gives me the free gift
    Dirty old cunt!

  26. If I hear that fucking meccarina advert one more time I’m gonna drop a fuckin bollock!

  27. I think it’s time that far left students were nominated for a richly deserved cunting. Very shortly, A large number of university lecturers will go on strike over changes that our dipshit government have made to their pensions, which apparently will leave them with a financial black hole. Now, in theory, I agree with them. To a degree (no pun intended). If the government wants to save money, it should lead by example and cut the pay and perks of MP’s.

    Unfortunately, their intended strikes have been hijacked by the far left and for the past couple of weeks, a number of far left students have been busy trying to intimidate more students into supporting the strike. A couple of weeks ago, one student was actually spat at for having the audacity to turn up to a lecture. Last week, at Bristol university, some of these militant twats invaded a psychology lecture to try to force the students who were more interested in learning to join them in supporting lecturers when they on strike. Apparently, the students who attended the lecture were having none of it and told the bolshy little shits where to shove it, leading to animosity from the baby momentum scum who masquerade as students.

    I don’t always agree with strikes. Having been a professional soldier, I’ve never been on strike. I will concede though that occasionally, they are an annoying necessity. As long as they’re conducted in a mature and civilised manner. The coming strike by lecturers though, will be neither mature nor civilised because they’ve been hijacked by far left shitbags. If they’re already resorting to intimidation to drum up support, things can only get worse.

    It’s a depressing fact that the likes of Momentum and other hard left groups are incapable of maturity or decency. One of the leaders of these dickheads has boasted of his wish to ‘dance on Thatcher’s grave’. I don’t support any political party. I firmly believe that the current generation of politicians are the worst we’ve ever had. This is especially true of Labour, the Lib Dems and the SNP.

    If you have to resort to violence, intimidation and violence to get your point across, as Momentum often do, then you’ve already lost the argument. Their ultimate aim is not to get the government to change its mind over this, or any other issue, their aim is bring down the current, democratically elected government, and it replace it with one led by a ‘man’ who is known to have supported the IRA and currently supports known terrorist groups like Hamas. On top of that, he came to the attention of the CIA during the eighties, for his travel to Socialist shit holes like Cuba and Nicaragua. He even received financial assistance from those countries for his visits.

    Worse still, his idea of the perfect country, is Venezuela, which has been reduced to a failed state, where people are literally starving death and their economy is worthless, because of the far left policies of its demented leader, Maduro. The current Labour party would happily see the UK become like Venezuela.

    Labour, and its Momentum (a modern version of the Nazis) do not believe in democracy. They don’t believe in the right of people to make their own decisions or have opinions that differ from theirs and, worse still, they despise the UK. They believe that they we should follow them, or they’ll use violence and the threat of violence against us. As I said, they are modern Nazis, because their actions and tactics are exactly the same. Their actions against the Tories and their supporters during the last general election campaign proves that. Corbyn and his party should have condemned them, but they chose to remain silent, which in my opinion shows they supported the actions of these 21st Century Brown Shirts.

    The Abbotopotamus recently announced that if she becomes the next Home Secretary, she will increase immigration. In other words, this evil, racist, egotistical, mathematically illiterate cretin will allow in EVERY so called asylum seeker and refugee who rocks up on our shores, despite knowing that the UK is already full and that our hospitals and housing and systems are already struggling to cope with the excess demand. Corbyn and McDonnell have promised to renationalise former state run industries, and engage in a massive spending spree, regardless of the harm it will do to the UK. They’re promising to bring in huge tax rises for the rich. France tried it a few years ago under Hollande, and the only thing they achieved was an exodus of rich people from the country. I agree, those who have more money should pay more tax than those with less money. However, this has to be done fairly.

    There are plenty of people I disagree with. I don’t spit in their faces or commit or threaten violence against them. I respect their right to hold a different opinion, and I would never dream of trying force my opinion on others, that’s not how democracy works. Labour, Momentum and all other far left creatures believe that if you don’t share their opinion, then you’re an enemy who must be either converted or destroyed. In actual fact, it is THEY who must be destroyed, before the destroy the UK.

    • Wow… if you, Dick Byrne, and Rebel without a Cunt ever decide to form a political party, please do not hesitate to let me know!

    • Why should the rich pay more tax than the poor? (I’m talking about income tax here). If you’re a poor cunt and you pay £12k for a small new car, why should a rich cunt pay twice as much for the same car? “Rich” people buy their own health insurance and pay privately for their children’s education, so not burdening the state, so arguably they should pay less income tax. They have bigger houses and so pay more in Council Tax, they spend more, so pay more in VAT and other indirect taxes. They live in areas which are usually relatively crime free (because they’re not criminal cunting scum), and are therefore less of a burden on the police “services” (cunts). They live productive lives, bring up their children to be law-abiding, and are far less likely than “the poor” to claim any sort of benefit. Hands off the rich you cunt!

      BTW, I am a poor pensioner.

      • Always said the same £15000 tax free then 30% income tax for all after all £330000 tax on a £1000000 income is still a lot of tax, no vat, no road tax, fuel duty would tax high mileage poor mpg vehicles and two teir NHS everyone pays towards A&E and life saving treatment but any elective treatment hip, knee replacement bunions, etc is covered by private insurance which you pay instead of your contribution to the state. After retirement all free. NO CHILD Benefits we don’t need to pay cunts to breed.
        Simplistic solutions and I’m sure you cunters could improve on suggestions but things need a radical shake up.
        And of course the number one economic change has to be ALL earnings in the UK have to go through the UK books no tax havens set asides or other fucking loopholes doesnt matter where your company is registered if the business operates in the UK it is liable to UK tax. Cutting down TAX evasion and avoidance should be high on any governments priorities. Not just taxing the rich who can afford to go offshore and pay fuckall. Yeah that’s aimed at you McDonnell you thick cunt the likes of Branson don’t pay tax cos they can avoid it so you could tell him to pay 99% and 99% of fuck all is still fuck all.
        Sort that out and this country could fix the NHS housing and all kinds of shit

      • In your scenario, someone earning £30k would pay £4.5k in tax, and someone on £300k would pay approx £85k in tax. Still grossly unfair on the rich cunt; twice the overall rate (nearly 1/3 of total income as opposed to nearly 1/6) and over 20 times the amount of actual money.

        I’m a retired member of HMRC’s finest (I know, a cunt), and unfortunately, while tackling evasion is relatively easy, I know from bitter experience that tackling avoidance is incredibly difficult.

  28. While I’m on a political rant. MP’s need a cunting. The vast majority of MP’s and Lords in the UK are ignorant, selfish, self important, corrupt, arrogant and contemptuous of those who voted for them. Us in other words. Most of them are anti-Brexit, which puts them directly at odds with the majority of voters. They believe that we made the wrong decision and should be forced to vote again, and again if necessary, until we vote to stay in the EU.

    As OUR employees they should be respecting our wishes and supporting the government in pulling us out of an organisation that is less democratic than the Soviet Union, is corrupt, insane, totalitarian and openly contemptuous of the UK and her people. Instead, they are going out of their way to sabotage our withdrawal.

    Soubrey, Keir Starmer, Lammy, Umunna, and a number of others have been exceptionally vocal in their opposition to Brexit. They, and their allies, have every right to express their opinion on this subject. What they are NOT entitled to do, is to go against the majority of British voters, who expressed their desire to leave the EU in a free, fair and democratic referendum. Every since that day in 2016, most MP’s have gleefully and condescendingly proved Winston Churchill right when said, “if democracy solved anything, it would be abolished”.

    Since the referendum, MP’s and the Lords have proved on a daily basis that democracy in the UK is only democratic when they agree with it. Only today, Corbyn has announced that Labour is committed to keeping the UK inside the Customs Union so we can keep tariff free trade with the EU. It also means that we will NOT be able to make trade deals with countries outside the EU, because we will be bound by EU rules on the matter. And to their shame, Tory remainers are backing him.

    The question on the voting form was clear and unambiguous. Do you want the UK to remain in the EU, or do you want the UK to leave the EU. 17.5 million of us voted to leave. There was NEVER any mention, either on the form or during the pre-referendum campaign of the UK partially withdrawing from the UK. Nobody said anything about us staying in the Single Market or the Customs Union. We told Parliament unequivocally that we wanted a complete and total withdrawal from the EU. We are not just being ignored, we are being treated with naked contempt by those we pay an extortionate amount of money to supposedly represent us, all because they don’t agree with our decision. Well tough titty.

    MP’s are put in parliament to carry out the wishes of those who put them there. They are not doing that. It is not their job to ignore us, simply because they don’t agree with our decision. They did the same thing in the mid nineties when the issue of capital punishment raised its head. The public were overwhelmingly in favour of it, but MP’s refused us a referendum because they ‘couldn’t live with it on their conscience”. Again, tough titty. They’re not in Parliament to act according to their conscience.

    What really grinds my gears, is their ludicrous claim to be acting in the interests of democracy, and to be patriots. They are not, on both counts. They are acting out of their own selfishness and arrogance. And they most certainly are NOT patriots. Patriots love their country and do what’s best for it. I hate to say this, but I’m being becoming increasingly convinced that the UK is desperately in need of a civil war. Protests and even riots won’t work. More direct action from us is required. It’s the only way to make MP’s and Lords listen to us.

    • “Soubrey, Keir Starmer, Lammy, Umunna, and a number of others have been exceptionally vocal in their opposition to Brexit. They, and their allies, have every right to express their opinion on this subject. What they are NOT entitled to do, is to go against the majority of British voters, who expressed their desire to leave the EU in a free, fair and democratic referendum.”

      Couldn’t agree more. All of those self important cunts ought to be deselected by their parties, Soubry could sell Tuppaware and Umunna could be the Blair’s subserviant butler. Starmer reminds you going back to ads of long ago of the old pansy who offered to do housewives washing for two weeks, he could wash the skidmarks away from Soubry’s drawers.

    • Unfortunately, our MPs are our representatives, not our delegates, so they CAN legitimately go against the wishes of their constituents. But with Brexit, they are going too far with that constitutional nicety…

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