Dearly beloved, I would like to gather your attention to perhaps the ultimate shrine of cuntishness the petrol station.
To be truthful there is so much to cunt from entry to exit, so we will start our journey 30ft up the road behind the queue of traffic trying to get in due to some of the following factors.
1, a few people choose to wait until a petrol pump on “the right side of their car” is available un aware that the hoses do reach over their vehicle.
2, a Chelsea tractor is parked a meter away from the pumps now blocking both isles.
So let’s imagine that we have managed to get to the pump, we now have the wait for the attendant to activate the pump (however he or she is making a coffee for someone) and you stand nozzle in hand hoping to make telepathic contact with them
Petrol stations have metamorphosed into something out of purpose, trying to find rational automotive items (fuses, oil, anti freeze) is futile, however should you require something hot from the deli or a designer coffee you have come to the right place, they even have seating for you whilst your car blocks the pump
Alternatively you could also do the weekly shop whilst you are in it browsing the vast shelves of over priced items perhaps picking up one of those exclusive offers that have been discounted by your fuel purchase.
As I write this I find myself becoming more and more agitated as I relive my 45min visit to my local petrol station where the customer to staff ratio was at least 7 to 1 with the counter blocked by one person ordering a three course meal from the “Deli” and another person (who didn’t even have a car!) insisted on examing every available cold cure and remedy from behind the counter mistaking the attendant for a pharmacist!
All of this was so unnecessary, just sell petrol, I will forgive the automated car scratcher and the extortionate car vacuum just quit the other stuff.
Nominated by Lord Benny
Ranting about freedom of speech again…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/freedom-of-speech-is-democracy/
1
Thanks for the shortcut to Mikes place – its a while since I had been there but now a follower so I wont be left out. Some great blogs on there – how blogs should be written 😉
Kind regards
0
You can’t fill up wearing a skid lid but you can wearing a burka. Cunts.
7
Excellent point. Liddist cunts. However, there is something to be said for keeping a fuming Chelsea tractor driver waiting for the pump you’ve just used as you carefully adjust mirrors, helmet and gloves before ambling gently off.
7
LB, your naivety is astonishing. Everyone knows if you need petrol you have to take 1/2 days holiday.
3
Add in the cunt sat at the pump on their fucking phone and you have the perfect retail experience.
3
LB, you forgot to mention that the cunt doing his weekly shop had probably left his car parked at a pump while he did so, thus exacerbating the queue to get in.
3
true, this happens a lot, but there is so much wrong about the places that its hard to list it all.
2
What I hate the most is waiting at the check out to pay for 10 mins due to most petrol stations being a general shop that sells fags,lottery tickets and a full array of stock to rival fucking adsa,s so half the fuckers in the line are shopping….didn’t even arrive in a fucking car the cunts….just there to give you a stinking look if you ask for a fucking vat receipt……utter cunts
5
Lottery tickets. Yes. The cunt buying a lottery ticket, checking last week’s and then dithering over which handful of doomed-to-lose scratchcards he/she’ll have as well, before trying to pay with a maxed out card…any store anywhere, not just filling stations. Cunt of STD-inflamed cunts.
3
O but I have. And it’s worse if missis is on her own, too.
3
Where other shops try and speed up the paying process, petrol stations seem to be going the other way.
Fucking twats.
2
Don’t forget those cunts who visit the petrol station to ask the assistant to check 6 months of lottery tickets to see if they have won anything. Cunts.
1
Happened to me a few months ago CF, I was fortunate enough to miss the fucking forecourt fiasco but got stuck behind some dithery old dear trying to pay using her card!!
First time she puts in a store card!!
Second time her card is declined!!
Third time the same store card!!
Fourth time she uses her card and surprise surprise it’s fuckin declined again!!
Massive queue and only 2 Cunts on tills, manager gets called out, he comes up with the brilliant idea of trying her card again!! After talking to mrs dither they have another go with her mafix card! , card declined and now blocked?
“ oh goodness I’ve been putting in the wrong pin, “
😡😡
Manager asks if she has any other cards??
Did you guess what happens next??
She produces her motherfucking store card!!!!
I walk up hand £20.00 over manager shout pump 4 and walk out …………
3
Magic card………….
0
I fill up my moped (usually under a fiver), courteously wheel it away from the pump to speed things up for the next customer, then stride past the queue of lottery ticket and grocery cunts, plonk the exact change on the counter quoting the pump number and leave. Not a second more than necessary spent in the places. My helmet (open face) stays on by the way.
0