Boris Johnson [5]


So the saviour of Brexit and natural successor to Treeza the Appeaser is sucking up to the EU province of France by suggesting to Macron we should build a 22 mile long bridge across Le Manche.

It’s a fucking stupid idea. Why? Well…

1. It’s prohibitably expensive
2. It would have to be so high to let shipping under it that the prevailing wind would mean it’d be unusable
3. How deep is the Channel? You’d need some pretty tall supports
4. How manoeuvrable are the big ships? Wouldn’t belong before one hit a support

The reason they built a tunnel is because a bridge was impractical. But never mind because BoJo thinks that a bridge would improve relations with Les Frogs. Presumably he’ll be suggesting we get Carillion to build it.

Apart from all that, why give the gimmegrants a new way to walk into Britain? Never mind building a bridge, let’s shut the fucking tunnel until the Fourth Reich get serious about stopping these migrants instead of helping them get across the Channel.

Boris, you’re a cunt and, if you’re serious about this, you’re a stupid fucking cunt…

Nominated by Dioclese

Boris Johnson. Monumental cunting.

Lets build a bridge to France!

Can’t believe two great nations are only connected by one train line.

Thumbs up pics with Macron.

Here’s an idea – don’t sell out, just give the cunts the key – the result will be the same.

Go ride a bike you senile cunt.

Nominated by King Cunt

47 thoughts on “Boris Johnson [5]

  1. Great cunting!

    Only an idiot would build a bridge across the busiest shipping lane in the world.

    Gimmegrants! ….. ha ha ha …. Quality.

  2. The cunt spent millions and couldn’t even build a bridge across the Thames… and now he’s gonna build one across the channel.

    Cunts needs to grow up.

  3. I’ve got a better idea Boris, you gobshite gimp: flood the cunting channel tunnel instead…….

  4. There is only one, and that is Rees Mogg. All the others can fuck off.

    On the side, I would wager that Pritti Patel would get the better of May in any cat fight, and I think if anyone attempts to lift the crown it may be her. Pritti Patel is bitter, very bitter. That makes her a dangerous woman. As a Brexit Champion, I would not fancy Macrons chances with her. She would probably rip his balls off and shove them up his arsehole.

    Boris Johnson? Fucking moron, as much use as pants full of shite

      • Boris has effectively signed his own death warrant…as if he hadn’t many times before…but this one takes the fucking biscuit…the last straw. Macron arselick.

        Bring on Rees-Mogg. Tories need a spell in opposition. Corbyn & Co wouldn’t last long in the real world, would be dead in the water before you could say Unilateral Nuclear Disarmament.

      • I like Pritti Patel. The reason she didn’t tell Saggy Maggie she had been to see some 4x2s was likely she knew May is a conniving anti brexit cunt and didn’t want to waste her breath.

    • I have to admit Cunters , I have a secret desire to shag the arse off Priti Patel, theirs something dirty and salacious about her.

      • Yes, Pritti has a nice sweet spunkable face, but sadly from the neck down she’s a porker of Emily Thornberry proportions.

      • Good try Asim, but you’re not really selling it to me. Prefer my boids on the slim side.

        Still up for a blow-job if you’re game though Pritti?

  5. Reminiscent of Boris’ magnificent proposal to build an airport in the Thames Estuary.

    Boris is a solid gold *cuntfoon

    *a portmanteau of cunt and buffoon

    • Nobody in their right mind living in the UK will think this is a good idea, for a vast number of factors.

      In fact I am really struggling to think from the British perspective of even one good reason or benefit to even give consideration as to why it should be built. Sorry but a whim from the sad fucking upper class pathetic twattish (is that a word) buffoon otherwise known as BJ is just not acceptable.

      What the fuck is wrong with this government?

      Just when you think they cannot be any more fucking hopeless they manage to come up with some new ridiculous half baked idea costing billions and which will not significantly and directly benefit those liiving here. Garden bridge but on a much larger scale.

      This tells me clearly they do not listen to the electirate, do not have the faintest idea about anything and need to be replaced.

      The problem is that I do not know with what.

      Boris Johnson and all politicians. Useless cunts.

      • If not consciously, the Tories are subconsciously working overtime in their bid to lose power. Everything they do appears specifically designed to get up the electorate’s nose.

        From their suicidal election manifesto, to rolling over in front of every EU demand, ignoring the people, and now all this Macron madness, the Government must be thinking “is there nothing we can do to get ourselves chucked out and Labour in before the fucking balloon goes up?”

    • also a Shitoon, cf shit / spitoon; also suffix -oon denoting large, ie “Large shit”

      • What about “Cunage” as a portmanteau? A blend of cunt and discharge, e.g. “The cunage spouted by Richard Branson was quite vile.”

      • Great one, CM… Has a slightly nautical ring to it.

        Reminds me of Ken Williams’ “Ineffable ullage” in Round the Horne !

  6. He can fuck right off. I used to be a direct report to this spastic and he is properly clueless.

    Fast forward 20 years. He’s got his bridge. It’s cost billions. And now the various RoPer’s and useless African’s no longer have to piss about with hiding in trucks and getting electrocuted by the magic juju we know as ‘overhead wires’, they can just shuffle across the bridge, like a cross between ‘The Walking Dead’ and ‘Roots’.

  7. As I’ve said, for the medium term I am residing on the Isle of Wight, with just a two minute walk to the beach on the north side of the island, and I drag my 61 year old body for a 2 mile run along the seafront 6 days a week.

    My point is, morning, afternoon or evening, the queue of huge tankers waiting to get into Portsmouth and Southampton is dotted all along the horizon 24/7/365. As sausage said, it’s the busiest shipping lane in the world. The idea of a bridge is utter techno dog wank.

    What they could do is start at Calais and build half a bridge, then put a sign at the Calais end pointing north saying “England that way. Muslims welcome”

  8. I used to think he just pretended to be stupid. Now I know it’s not an act. I can safely say without fear of contradiction that Boris Johnson is an incompetent fat useless turd who fits right in alongside the rest of his government colleagues. Who’s going to save this country if these cunts are our best option?

  9. Just another cunt waiting in the wings to be PM or Tory leader.

    Mind you, if the Connies are out of power he’ll toady off to some other cunt position (a’la Londonistan Mayor) until conditions are ripe for his return.

    This is my take on BoJo: I’ve never seen any cunt more surprised or horrified when “Leave” won the Brexit vote!

    Simple fact of the matter is that neither him nor Pob (Michael Gove) wanted “Leave” to win, they wanted remain to win and then – between then – could say: “Well, I for one voted out, not like Pigfucker, he’s a cunt, I’m not!”

    And it completely backfired on the pair of cunts!

    And now we have May, a political powerhouse of 1 amp!

    • I’d also suggest Johnson & Gove concocted the back-stabbing episode between them to give Boris a legitimate ‘get out’ from having to stand in the Tory leadership contest, to avoid the risk of becoming responsible for carrying out a Brexit which he never wanted in the first place.

      Add the word ‘coward’ to the long list of his character flaws. May is hopeless. Johnson would also be hopeless, but in a different way.

      • I don’t like him but, in fairness, he has always known the EU were a bunch of cunts. If you look back at his early writing he was exposing them as crooks when he was a reporter. Yes, he might not have expected Leave to win but he firmly believes we shouldn’t be in the whole den of gangsters.

  10. Johnson is an opportunistic, selfish, lying, self advancing cunt who is as commited to brexit as I am to a great sky fairy. A thousand plagues on him, the cunt.

  11. Why don’t the cunts build a dam and drain the channel? Oh fuck I hope Bojo doesn’t read this

  12. There might be method in his madness. He builds his bridge, it gets over run by a zombie army of peaceful cunts and then he blows it up, just like in “Bridge on the river kwai”.

      • Brilliant Skid! However, can you imagine the aftermath smell of floating Mohammits? Not so much the English Channel as the English ‘Chanel de Rancid turds.’

  13. That photo with the granny shagger makes me feel quite ill.
    Johnson is a lying fat thieving cunt and the only fucker I can see replacing the Hunchback.
    The only thing that can stop him is Suckdick poking his goatshagger nose into the Olympic Stadium scam. Johnson and the Pigfucker better hope they have covered their tracks because I wouldn’t like to have to rely on the Brady scrubber and the Dildo brothers.

  14. The useless cunt wasted £40million on feasibility studies for the Thames Garden Bridge which was about 1,200ft of turf and a few pot plants. This has got HS2 or third Heathrow runway written all over it; wont get built at all and/or punitive costs condemning it to white elephant status.

    • You couldn’t make it up could you?
      What a fucking stupid idea and what a fucking stupid cunt he is.
      Yet another cunting fucking awful week under Doris May.
      Steptoe, his Labour cunts including Suckdick Khan must be pissing themselves laughing.
      Cunts. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their pubic regions.
      Oh, and they’re cunts.
      Come on Sir Nigel of Farage hurry up and team up with Jacob Rees Mogg.
      They’d sort the fuckers out.

      • Nah.

        I know we have to live in hope, but this cuntry – and Western Europe in general – is fucked beyond the point of no return.

        Sorry about that. Just thought you should know.

  15. The cunt Johnson would be dead scared if any one of “his” shite proposals ever got orf the ground. He has no clue how any of them would work. Like Branson the lard arse is in the self publicity game, not the boring bit ie actually doing it. He is a professional maker of headlines and the only one I would take notice of is “Boris is a cunt”.
    As to this bridge it is only yet another fucking proposal, countless of ’em over the last coupla hundred years. Totally impractical. Roids on to the bugger would have to start miles inland in order to climb up high enough. Bugger would need to be the height orf Nelson’s column in order to get big ships under it. Anyone fancy driving over it in a storm? Cost orf a maintenance contract to stop it cracking up and joining Davy Jone’s? Sea pressure, ultra corrosive environment (concentrated salt, ozone, UV light, temp differentials causing it to tear itself apart ect ect). Need I go on. Besides which the British Channel at least keeps the frog, kraut and dago cunts in their place. Best left as is. Sod Boris.

  16. Bojo the arse crawling prick. The cunts just an embarrassment to us.
    Meanwhile TM the PM will let more dodgy bastard adult men into the cuntry because the say they are children. What a buncha cunts.

  17. Johnson’s buffoonary can be quite engaging at times. He certainly has the potential to be quite entertaining, even though being a buffoon within a serious context probably isn’t the best idea.

    That said, his bridge idea is straight out of the fuckwit’s manual. It beggars belief he’s been able to survive in public life for as long as he has.

  18. I can’t help but think Bojo’s taking a leaf out of The Donald’s book, in that he wants to distract attention from the real pressing issues……

    …….£45m contribution to the French government to help bolster border defences in Calais in order to keep out violent African economic migrants from gaining access to the Channel Tunnel…..

    Whilst………. Agreeing to take in a further 300 bearded child migrants when nobody other than Lily Mong, Linnecunt, Geldof or O’Shithead wants to accept them even though they themselves wouldn’t dream of taking them in…..

    …… Then just to ram home what an utter set of useless cunts Bojo & Co are they allow Tusk and Barnier to publicly humiliate or great country on a daily basis as they taunt us with their prophecies of post Brexit economic doom.

    It’s a pile of cunt and i can think of no other reason that any sane cunt would be proposing the most ridiculous project in the history of man other than to distract attention away from the real issues.

    • The only leaf I want BoJo to take out of The Don’s book is building a fucking great wall and stick a few .50 cal mini-guns in the turrets.

      Here’s the thing which makes my piss boileth over…

      These “peaceful” cunts and/or “Africunts” don’t fly here do they. If they did they’d have to be documented.

      So the only way in is via our natural border defence of the sea. We are a landlocked island nation.

      So, in order for this undocumented scum to worm there way here they have to come by sea, and not just one sea either!

      They leave on some cunt raft waiting to be picked up 1m off the coast of Libya by some naval vessel or another but instead of dumping the cunts back on the shores of whatever shithole they left from they take them the 600 miles to Greece or Italy (please note that said “…in fear of our lives…” rapugees refuse to be taken to Turkey because other “peaceful” countries know how to deal with other countries’ “peaceful” scum).

      If they took them back (which IMO is a legitimate course of action) the do-gooders say they’ll just try again! Fine by me cos they eventually give up, or drown. No skin off my nose and with the same result.

      Unfortunately if Greece and Italy are daft enough to accept the cunts then they become their problem. Simple as that.

      If the cunts move through Europe a’la Merkelcunt’s master plan then each time they enter a new country, it’s their problem.

      Finally if we made coming here so unattractive to the cunts that they would hate being here then they wouldn’t come. End of.

      They come here because they know we’re soft touch and because we’ll house the cunts in deference to our own, we’ll give the cunts money – without expecting a lick of work from the cunts in return – from the taxes of our own, and finally they’ll be much better thought of by the powers that be than our own!

      When the cunts get here I wouldn’t treat them like poor souls, I’d treat the cunts like they were on a game of Japanese endurance.

      I wouldn’t feed the cunts while they could see through the fence looking at folk troughing out. I wouldn’t give them anything to drink while they can see others necking off a few beers. And – the pièce de résistance – I’d have a ferry loaded up with food, drink, cigarettes, etc. They’re free to go help themselves to anything on the ferry but to get on it they have to go through a one way turnstile.

      Once full we send the cunts back to Macaroon saying: “Sorry, they didn’t want to stay. You’re problem. If you don’t like then it don’t let the cunts into YOUR your country in the first place! And feel free to pass that sentiment all the way back to Italy and Greece! We don’t want the cunts here! End of!”

      If a refugee is genuine then they’d register to seek asylum from one of the camps in Jordan, etc., and wait their turn (which is what pig fucker set up to enable legitimate asylum seekers to come to this country).

      And cunt who just travels here (undocumented) is either an untrustworthy cunt (villain, terrorist, or both), or, is just coming here to milk our system. Either way I don’t want that type of cunt coming here!

      That’s not racist, it’s just common sense!

  19. Being London Mayor seem to be the quickest route to cunterdom. We had Ken Livingstone with his love affair with Lee Jaspar and currently we have Sadiq Kunt strutting round like a pound store Napoleon. Bojo, like the other pair of arseholes seems to think they can get what they want just by saying it. London Mayor means low grade music hall comic. Brainless motherfuckers, all three of them.

    Bojo is a total tosspot. A week after the fucking thing was opened, apart from all the asylum seekers it would no doubt be blown up by one of the ungrateful bleeders.

  20. Building the bridge is easy just look at the Chinese they build bridges and some of them are over valleys 1500ft deep with spans as wide. They could build one to cross the channel in 10/15 years and cost £20 billion.
    However like all government contracts the time scale will triple and the cost multiply 10 fold and of course the maintenance contract would be way over priced the tolls astronomical and never ending a la the Dartford crossing. And like the esteemed Sir Limpley pointed out the access roads would need to start miles from the coast causing chaos for road users for years and years.
    So BoJo ya stupid fat cunt stick your bridge up your arse.

    • Chinese have the advantage of slave labour and/or a work ethic. Bridge a job for our East European friends perhaps…

  21. When I lived in Korea, I’d cross the Incheon Bridge near the airport after I’d landed. It’s quite astonishing to drive over. It’s actually three bridges pieced together and 12km long which I think in real money is about 8 miles. It’s a brilliant piece of engineering (The chief engineer was British) and shows what can be achieved.

    Nonetheless I hope this is another powder-puff idea from Johnson. The smuggling, especially of people (be they Iron Curtains or Musquitoes), would be freakishly out of control.

  22. The bridge is a great idea. Just need to get the height right so that cruise liners and container ships could get under. Then the number of supports, which said ships could easily avoid. Sort out the wind and tides. Easily done.
    Cost estimate 50 billion at start of 8 year project, 500 billion 27 years down the line.
    Just think of the benefits. Drive non stop to the refugee camps in Calais. Collect duty frees and bearded children. Back in London for latte and gluten free hummus in hours.
    Boris is a fucking genius.

  23. The Cunt Johnston is self publicising his buffoonish self again. Over 500 ships a day ,some nearly a quarter of a mile long ,would have to pass under the bridge which would be no problem if the crew weren’t often asleep hoping the auto navigation would get them through whatever generous gaps there were between the fucking huge steel and concrete stanchions . Did I mention at night in often atrocious weather?
    And it would be cheaper to fill the fucking channel in ,plus the corpse shagger Macron knows it but he has that Frog fear of the kraut which naturally reoccurs in the snailmunchers brains from time to time , after all it’s only 78 years since the best dressed army in history swatted away De Gaulles ‘defences ‘ and the biggest ponce in French history begged us to save his sorry arse.
    Plus the channel tunnel would lose revenue ,plunging it back into bankruptcy and since the QE Bridge closes every time a driver looses off a big fart,how many days a year would a channel bridge have to shut?
    Boris Johnston is an expanding cunt, his early beginnings showing the occasional small glimpse of cuntishness is now a giant burning beacon of unstoppable Wankuntery.
    Bring me the White Hot Poker!

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