Yoof

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Young people are cunts….
The youth of today (and students) are all immature entitled pricks and as thick as pigshit….

They think that piece of commie toe-jam in charge of the Labour Party is fucking Santa Claus…

These clueless spotty snowflake turds still believe that the white haired, bearded, jolly old bloke is going to give them loads of free shit that’s going to magically appear and never have to be paid for…. Anyone who voted for – and believed – Jeremy Corbyn is a complete and utter cunt…

Nominated by Norman

196 thoughts on “Yoof”

  1. If we were the party in power Article 50 would have been renamed ‘Fuck Off’ and sent in an envelope wrapped around a dog turd.

  2. The world runs on debt and bribes paid to furnish that debt. Bugger me but ever since WW1 Blighty has been racking up limitless debt. Now it is stratospheric and finally large enough to offer protection against against total annihilation. We no longer need nukes and a large standing army. We owe the world so much money that nobody is going to attack us and loose all their assets. So help protect Blighty, do your bit and max oit your credit cards, borrow borrow borrow me hearties. You know it makes sense.

  3. Anyone else finding Christmas a real cunt?

    This year more than ever, I’m right fucking fed up already. Four Christmas ads on TV in succession as I type.

    Forced myself to Christmas drinks this evening with some former work colleagues and Jesus wept, what an ordeal. Had to make my excuses and leave early.

    The whole prolonged ‘festive’ period is draining my will to live. Fucking roll on armageddon.

    • You’re right Empire, why the fuck would I want to have a festive drink with cunts I’ve been avoiding all year. Ain’t sent 1 Christmas card or bought fuck all presents. The most insincere time of the year.

    • Oddly enough I’ve been too busy cunting to pay much heed to it this year. Yet another priceless IsAC benefit!

      But thanks for the heads up – still got to find something acceptable for the little lady…

    • Absofuckinglutley.

      I’ve hated Christmas since about the age of 21 when all of a sudden I had to start going for Xmas lunch at my Girlfriends parents.

      Her brother/ sister and partners were all fucking Veggies, this was 1991 when those cunts were as rare as themselves.

      Seriously my Xmas dinner was a bastard nut roast, I can’t tell you how fucked off I was.

      My biggest regret is that I didn’t bail out then and left it another 25 years before I found the wall and bruised and battered managed to climb over it, but then who could have imagined that the yoghurt knitting social workers and Green Peace supporters sat around that table would end up being massively over remunerated superannuated ID badge wearing struggling with their weight cunting civil servants who currently control the agenda on what we can or can’t say and what views are/aren’t acceptable.

      Fortunately last Xmas was the last one I’ll ever have to spend with them!

      cunts and I need to take a bomb to Xmas music because that is pissing right off and it’s only 15th

      • Think I may get away with the inevitable Xmas lunch bore-athon this year, the mother-in-law is in hospital. Every little cloud…

    • Be estranged from your family. I am, and it’s great! Throw away your television (ditto). Order online and stay away from festive lights, festive muzak and pissed driver cunts. Select your favourite music on whatever device will play it, on no account use the radio, and stock up on non-festive food. Burn cards and charity appeals landing on your mat, unopened. A case of whatever rare vintage takes your fancy, as long as it is rich in ethanol, completes your preparations. I shall raise a glass to you, my sole acknowledgement of the season of utter cunt.

  4. By the way I’ve been informed by a reliable source that little Timmy Farmong threw the towel in coz he couldn’t hack being COTY.

    • I’d love that to be true.

      He’s a proper cunt and from my part of the world and similar age, I’m pissed that I never came across him in my ‘yoof’ ‘cus unlike the ‘yoof of today’ I wasn’t in the least bit liberal and would have enjoyed a raucous debate wth the cunt.

  5. Henry Ford would have been delighted !

    As he once said, “You can have any colour you like as long as it’s black.”

    Lucy Lane would be banging in the blue onesy…

  6. My children have bought me a large bottle of Remy Martin Champagne Cognac for the festive season.

    I am currently destroying a fine Calvados that my BIL bought me for my birthday. These two fine libations will get me through Christmas and beyond without too much anxiety.👍

  7. Now this looks interesting:

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/dec/15/guardian-and-observer-charity-telethon-give-our-journalists-a-call

    Some charity fundraiser where Guardian readers can call tomorrow and speak to the Graun’s actual journalists; including seismic cunts like Toynbee and Jonathan Freedland. Is this for real?

    ”Our team of writers and editors will be answering your calls between 10am and 6pm to take credit card donations for the three amazing charities we are supporting this year.

    This is your chance to talk about the future of the Labour party with Owen Jones, discuss Westminster with John Crace or social policy with Hugh Muir and get beauty tips from Sali Hughes while contributing to this urgent cause.”

    The number to call is printed within the article numerous times.

    I mean, the thought of being able to pick up the phone, whilst I’m taking a shit, and actually tell Owen Jones that he is a cunt of biblicial proportions… worth every penny of a police fine!

    • That Katharine Viber is a bit of a MILF.

      Granted she is a rank leftie. Perhaps she needs a bit of good, old fashioned, right-wing man sausage up her to cure her of this psychological aberration.

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