If people in years gone by thought that television was sucking the nations intelligence dry, what must they think of the smartphone?
Most people you see these days are walking around in a trance, hypnotised by the the little communication device that no one can apparently look away from for more than a minute. I have one, and it fills the gap a newspaper once did. You know, off for a difficult shit, or something to pass the time until something interesting happened. Not for these cunts. It is their life blood, the very point of being.
I work with a lot of young cunts, who are nice, but mostly useless as a work force. There is very little focus with them, until it comes to the fucking mobile, which must be checked every few minutes. Of course, one of their fellow mongs has updated their status, probably something world shattering like “just chillin” or “bored. Need Xbox”, which needs replying to immediately. Facebook, instagram, Snapchat, all filling their lives with fuck all worthwhile. You go somewhere like a beach or a gig or to the cinema, and it is populated by zombies glued to the little soul crusher in their hands.
The worst part of this is that these vacuous cunts think that it’s ok to do this while driving. I really don’t care if they kill themselves, far from it, however it’s the poor fucker minding their own business that gets caught up in the accidents they cause that have my sympathy.
Nominated by Gutstick Japseye
To the stupid bint using her smartphobe in the everman Belsize Park on Sunday 5:30 pm seat J5 during starwars , riddle me this:WHY? Are you a truma surgeon? A member if tge UN security council? Was this urgent? NO. So TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF YOU STUPID COW.
11
A riddle wrapped in a conundrum…I mean, why would anyone pay to see a Star Wars movie in the first place?
10
Maybe it was that entitled cunt Tulip Sadeek?, on the phone to auntie PM of bangla bangla land.
Depending on the time, might have been a Lycamobile happy hour she couldn’t miss.
She won’t be making any important calls on her government issue mobile in case she’s being monitored.
2
I have recently witnessed an incident whereby a young female walked out into traffic and was struck by a car. She was seriously injured. She was so absorbed with her phone she simply walked into the path of the car without looking. The child in the pushchair was unharmed.
It was the driver of the car who received a caution from police , the officer telling him he was being reported for “without due care”
I wish this total absorption was a minor and rare occurrence. But it is not.Every fucker seems these days to be constantly reading transmitted shite. Fucking retarded cunts!
16
Yeah I’ve had to slam on the brakes before now because of some mindless automaton wondering out in front of the car and not even noticing the screeching of tyres on the road, mostly women I hasten to add but worse are teenage (some even pre-adolescent) lads on bmx bikes on their phones weaving about all over the road…… Cunts.
13
I mentioned in a previous post that one of generation snowflake’s finest (armed with a degree in coin tossing odds and everything) was all “ass hurt” by almost being run over.
The driver was – obviously – completely to blame even though…said snowflake was wearing a retro parka jacket with the hood done up like Kenny off South Park, had sunglasses on (to protect from “snow blindness” after 1/2 a day’s snow a fortnight ago – I shit you not), had a pair of “AirPod” headphones in, AND was busy on TwitBook whilst crossing the road (the latter they won’t admit but I’ve seen them do it time and again).
So the sensory deprivation of Helen Keller and it’s the attentive driver who’s to blame!
Also in the same building it’s 3 floors so they have a lift. To go from the 2nd floor to the ground floor takes around 10 seconds max and the cunts literally cannot have that 10 seconds of peace and quiet without pulling out their phone and checking some shit or another!
What the fuck can you do in 10 bastard seconds!?! Update your TwitBook status to: “In a lift. (Frowny).” Then: “Out of lift! Phew! (Smiley).” Utter cunts the lot of them.
When I’m in work my phone is in my bag. When I have a break I check it for any missed calls or messages, there’s usually fuck all, it goes back in my bag and THEN I go for my coffee, snap, shit, whatever.
There is a complete inability for these cunts not to have their phone within hand’s reach all the time and they are endlessly checked throughout the day. I’d sack the cunts!
Also the fuckers who walk into a pub as a group of mates, etc., yaking on with a bit of banter (ordinary behaviour), get their pints, sit down and then revert to smart phone zombie mode – with the only words passing their lips after that being “Wanna nuver one?” – deserve to have dog shit smeared in their fucking eyes!
Cunts!
16
These modern day bike cunts need the good old Ever Ready Front & Rear Lamp set complete with brackets shoved up their arses.
These bmx bikes often don’t come with brakes fitted. Any parent buying such a bike should get done for murder in the event of an accident where they failed to stop.
Hover board cunts are as bad.
6
Cunting request:
PC Ben Forbes of the MET police. This fat smug cunt spends his entire life babbling on about “dddddiiiivvvvveeeeerrrrrrrssssssiiiiiiitttttttyyyyyyy” tweeting senior police leaders and posting selfies. He has his sad life encapsulated in his “my story” blog. He works in some non-job and is on some snowflake leftie meaningless uni course exposing the evils of white priviledge, etc.
If anyone needs a vomit induxer I suggest they take a look . My blood pressure goes sky high when I read his tweets. #benthempsdiversitybore (my idea: not bad, eh cunters?)
Also I can not wait to get a United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland passport. Fuck off EU you utter bunch of shit cunts.
As for POTUS: More power to your elbow. You are truly the greates president the US has ever seen. Even Tgeresa May is looking strong now. The tide is shifting. The liberal elite are on the way out.
GOD BLESS THE QUEEN
GOB BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
AND GOD BLESS THE STATE OF ISRAEL.
MERRY CHRISTMAS CUNTERS!
15
God doesn’t exist, bollocks to the monarchy, long live the USA, long live the State of Israel, xmas can suck my plums.
7
I’m with you Mr Stink. Unless God comes and shakes me by the nudger I refuse to take any religion seriously.
4
If God exists, and he’s a good bloke, why doesn’t he tell the Muzzies to stop being cunts? Or simply wipe them out with a plague of locusts?
I too remain to be convinced of His existence. Either way, Religion can fuck right off.
5
+1
If God gave Israel to the Jews, let’s see his signature on the title deeds.
1
The Parking Stanley’s will be objecting to the blue, demanding the passport be shit stain brown to represent their residence here too.
Could make the rear cover brown to reflect the amount of brown that has sneaked in the back door. Such as those fraudulent scum cunts in the 2017 London remake of The Towering Inferno.
Don’t waste your time going to see it, its dragged out longer the Titanic with little notable action other than;
a taxi driver fleeing his house due to an out of control disposable BBQ (that had extra briquettes added) that not even the coolness of the fridge couldn’t tame.
There then follows a housing official telling everyone to stay put and not evacuate.
The brave firefighters fight their way through the untaxed, unlicenced and unregistered cars in the car park, followed by an ascent up a sofa, pram, bicycle and rubbish ridden stair case.
Meanwhile hoses tackle the exterior blaze, all under the watchful eye of the media helicopters which the residents think is actually a rescue mission for their benefit.
The baby allegedly thrown from the ninth floor isn’t captured either, just like the illegals that fled the flames into the shadows of the London streets evading capture. Lured back out afterwards with oodles of cash and prosecution immunity.
The film ends with the fire extinguished, the tower almost completely destroyed and a tired fire service going home for a well earned hand shandy and a kip.
Hopefully the follow up, The Towering Compen, will have more action, stunts, special effects and black actors as someone cast all the roles to white actors in this first film.
4
Great cunting. These bloody things and the cunts absorbed by them are heading down the shitter. Accidents are on the increase – try walking in London – the morons are everywhere, completely oblivious to the world around them.
I am sticking to my old Nokia dumbphone – the smartphone absorbed cunts all laugh at me, but at least I will see the next inevitable peaceful attack coming.
Cunts.
10
There was something in the paper the other day about kids, not millennial snowflake cunts, primary school kids who struggle to write properly and hold a pen or pencil because of the amount of screen time and lack of dexterity incurred.
Have an old Nokia myself, mainly for work purposes but how do these cunts even dress themselves? Oh that’s right, the App Store.
5
Just up the road from where I live there’s a call centre for a
Utilities provider, most of the employees appear to be under 25, at 12.00 the herd starts its daily migration down to the local sandwich shop, virtually no Cunt is talking!, its heads down tapping furiously as they cross the road with barely a glance up!, let alone looking left and right , how nobody has been killed during this daily occurrence defies any known logic, the primary school children up the road have more road sense than these brain dead Cunts!! Maybe they could lend them their lollipop man??
It’s moronic behaviour……..
12
What’s the betting Q these cunts are messaging some other cunt walking ten paces in front of them. “OMG, John just got wiped out by a van crossing the road…Selfie!”.
9
That’s about right LL 😂
A friend of mine lives directly opposite the call centre, he reckons a car hitting its horn is a daily occurrence!! These Cunts appear to have the road sense of a willderbeest ,and almost certainly a smaller brain………
8
Can I ask if the direction of is a cunt has changed? Out of the last 25 selected cuntings only three are person specific. The three people being Arseache, Sweaty old song bird Carey and some unknown by most of us Japanese wrestler.
Have the admin team decided that it’s too risky to cunt cunts anymore? Is the site now the online equivalent of grumpy old men who use the word cunt?
Is a cunt still is a cunt?
4
I tend to agree, but it’s down to us who or what gets cunted, isn’t it? We put forward our nominations, admins do the rest. Maybe it’s cos everyone of note has now been cunted, the bigger cunts multiple times!
That having been said, I think David Lammy and Dawn Butler are WAY overdue another, and CHRIS WILLIAMSON has been gagging to make his debut… Anyone out there with half an hour to burn?
6
If you don’t know Williamson, this should get your piss boiling:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-politics-42358088/chris-williamson-on-jeremy-corbyn-negative-press-coverage
2
Has that uber cunt Ben Fogle been cunted yet?
He’s a shiney Whyte bastard and whilst in need of a really hard kick in the balls, the type where you get off at ooooompppphhhh as the last bit of wind leaves his body, a cunting will suffice
1
Cuntflap is right on. There are literally millions of addicts. It’s possibly the biggest social problem we are facing but I can’t see any way to fix it.
How many cunts queue all fucking night in order to spunk £1000 on a phone to go with the £900 one they got last year. How many work hours are lost? Probably fucking billions.
I have my daughter’s old 5S. Reset to factory settings. I don’t even know how to do apps.
I’m in my 60s, don’t see many of my generation transfixed by a 7 x 3 screen.
7
… Just as an aside .. I hear ( just before I turn the fucker off) James O’Brian LBC is about to start whining and bumping his gums on the new non EU British passport ….
If I thought for a minute I could get through on his phone line … I’d tell him of my difficulty in getting a new passport as …for the appropriate photograph needed… I keep getting knocked back as I cannot get the big fucking smile off my face since the Brexit vote.
5
I topped up my phone with £10 worth of credit the other day and the confirmation text informed me that I last topped up 6 months ago….. In June, now that is an achievement.
It takes a lot of time and dedication to be such a miserable, unsociable cunt like me.
PS. I am typing this from my smartphone using the workplace WiFi because why not.
11
I’m a layabout, or retired as the wife prefers, so I don’t even have a mobile, let alone a smart fucking phone. Having a landline is bad enough! I accept mobiles are a necessary evil if you’re in business or summat, but 98% of calls I already get are from cunts or no-one (!), so why would I want to expose myself to further trauma whilst trying to select a nice piece of broccoli (50p) in Sainsbury’s?
4
BTW, I do have an iPad and computer, and almost every other useful piece of technological shit, so far from a technophobe. Not that it makes any difference to ya.
4
I’m not a fan of O’ Briern but the fact has to be faced that when he asks for people to phone in and explain why brexit is good everybody fails miserably, I can’t believe he is picking and choosing his callers or am I just naive? BTW has Spiveys site finally gone tits up? Can’t get on this morning, shame I was looking for a laugh.
1
I believe any fucker with a hint of getting the better of him, he will hit the .. ‘bad line button’ ..and you will be off. He’s a Cunt. He controls the volume button, when he likes to sound like a clever Cunt and talk over the person calling in, down the volume goes on his victim. He’s a Cunt.
As pointed out, in an earlier cunting, that O’Brian squirms like a kid when he’s ‘called out’ by Frank Lampard on a call in, and Sky News Kay Burleigh on a later interview on the same topic.
5
O’Cunt is the Derren Brown of the phone in – a semantic illusionist, highly skilled at misdirection, starts off saying “I want to keep it friendly today” then immediately launches abuse at anyone foolish enough to take the bait. The whole show is just a fucking con – O’Cunt is not interested in truth or getting to the heart of the matter or understanding anyone with an alternate point of view.
He uses clever linguistic tricks to throw off anyone attempting to articulate any argument he does not want to hear. Start saying something remotely contrary to O’Cunt’s worldview and he’ll interrupt and shout you down before you can get another word in edgeways. He uses rudeness as a weapon and is condescending by default, deliberately confuses issues, patronising to the Nth degree, there’s no end to his cuntishness. A fucking fraud. Guaranteed COTY imho…
10
I agree with 90% of this cunting.
However, owning a smart phone does mean that I can access pornography anywhere, and at anytime… assuming I’ve got signal on the fucking thing…
Which means if I need a fix of Kelly Divine’s arse, it’s only a swipe away!
Of course not everyone’s a porn obsessed cunt like me, maybe porn needs a cunting?
3
I only had works mobiles. Speech only for me. Short and to the point. And fuck help any minion who phoned me up for a problem they should be able to sort themselves. Fuck texting as well. Now retired my wife and daughter decided I needed a mobile in case something happened whilst walking dogs, which I do for an hour a day out in the sticks. Said mobile is usually flat and in a drawer. Fuck it.
4
Happened to be in a well known clothing store on 12th December with Mrs Stroker..
Saw a very nice jumper for my son but did not have his size. They said they could order one for him, and confirmed it would be in by Xmas. Paid the money, and then advised would be delivered to local store after 19th December but before Xmas.
Hearing nothing called yesterday and spoke to Mohammed. Said the item was still in the warehouse but should be ready before Xmas (either Saturday, Sunday or Monday. I asked him whether the store is open on Xmas day).
Disbelieving him called again today. Spoke to a different Mohammed (ffs), who said he would need to put me through to a senior adviser. Cue pipped music for 21 minutes. Then spoke to a young lady (Indian by the sound of things) who kept saying sorry and that the delivery on their system was scheduled for 29th December, and that I should have been made aware of this. Said today was the first I hard of it.
Asked what the fuck was going on. Transpires that not only did the sales staff mislead when taking the initial order, but also the guy yesterday was talking out of his arse (saying it was because they were very busy, and because of the weather. What fucking weather I enquired? What a stupid peaceful cunt.
Today she kept telling me she understands why I am upset, and suggested perhaps I might like to drive a round journey of 100 miles to my closest local store. Suggested perhaps that instead they send it to me? Actually no, as sorry as they are not prepared to do this,
My options are to wait until 29th (which I do not believe as she later confirmed they were still waiting for the jumper to arrive from the manufacturers in their warehouse) or to refund the order, leaving us without the item promised.
Looked online as to their delivery guarantee, up to 19th you can keep the item for free if late, after 19th tough shit,
Good old fashioned British service. Cunts,
Merry Xmas cunters.
7
Been quicker to fly to some peaceful shithole and haggle in the local bazaar with Mohammed No3.
7
They’d probably try to flog off their daughter in haggling.
0
These phonefucking cunts come in a range of varieties…
There’s the student cunt: who doesn’t stop looking at his/her phone, even when being served in a shop or when someone is talking to them… Ignorant entitled never said no to scum…
There’s the pushchair variety: usually a stupid cow who pushes a (usually multicoloured) kiddie filled pushchair with one hand and has a phone in the other… This type of fat slag blocks all pavements. walkways, shopping isles, and city eentres…
Then there’s the walking phonecunt… So obsessed with looking at their phone they don’t see (or care) what or who is in front of them… I saw one twat crash into an old lady last week, and I told him in no uncertain terms what a fucking cunt he was…
10
I see the English Criminal Justice System is a well oiled machine when it wants to be, Man City forward Raheem Sterling assaulted and racially abused on Saturday, perpetrator caught, charged and sentenced to 16 weeks by Wednesday. Being a well know footballer and a ‘hate crime’ might have a lot to do with it, some old Dorris who had her purse snatched would just be getting through on the 101 Crime Number about now.
8
Thought exactly the same thing myself LL.
3
Wonder if the ABBC would be so eager to report this if the killer had been of a more peaceful persuasion?…. Cunts!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42449924
2
…Do we know he’s not ‘peaceful’ ?
0
There isn’t an aldi anywhere near where my Mum lives, but if she has to go out shopping, she always has my little sister or me with her.
There’s herds of those snotgobbing filthy peaceful cunts been shoved into nice houses where my Mum lives, it used to be such a nice neighbourhood, and I’m only going back twenty years.
I try to get shopping sent to my Mum as often as I can, but if she is going out, she needs someone with her. The peaceful cunts need to be sent somewhere away from us… the moon for instance, I wouldn’t mind paying a few more pounds a week in tax, it’s got to be cheaper with what we’re paying now.
3
Suggest you get a mini iPad instead…
4
I have a smartphone, bought for me by my girlfriend, who also supplied me with an iPad Air II as well, but I’m not connected to them all the time… just to read the news, make phone calls, send text, and answer the very frequent nude FaceTime calls. I don’t have a facecunt account, I don’t have twatter, in fact I don’t have any social media thingy, I would forget to go on there every fucking day anyway.
The only thingy that I’m registered with is IMDb, and now that I can make lists, I remember to go on there every other week to add cunts who I detest. (see my dead cunts list) Oh… and I’m registered on ISAC, but that’s no way social media, but I can do an update on my life right now.
Well here I go… my girlfriend, her two sisters, and her mother & father left for Brisbane this morning, so that’s me on my own for six weeks. I’m going to the pub this evening, there’s this girl with one of those arses that you couldn’t take your hands off, nice wobbly tits, is a brunette, and she’s always smiling at me.
I don’t know if she’s got a twitch, or when I’m near her I always make her fart, but I’ll talk to her for the first time later. Apart from her, I’ll be able to spend Christmas with my Mum for the first time that I can remember, without there being an argument.
On another note, I only found out the other day that John Hillerman, (Higgins, from Magnum,) had died last month. I thought that he was brilliant, and always thought that he was British, but not a mention of his passing. It was the same with Geoffrey Lewis who died a couple of years ago… not a mention, but katie price trips over her flaps waddling down the road, and it makes the front pages. The big cunt
No pussy for six weeks… how would you cunters handle it?
4
I’d handle it. That’s the answer.
3
Fuck me sounds like my idea of heaven and re the bird in the pub, well, ram it home Ginger
Yeeeeehaaaaaa
2
Ohhh… dopey me, I didn’t mean I was going to cheat, fuck no, besides, my girlfriends father co-owns the pub that we go to, he knows about the girl & so do his staff.
I meant, I’ll talk to the girl that grins at me, get a boner, and when I get home knock one out! Those painkillers are making me forget lots of things lately.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost seventeen years, I wouldn’t dream of cheating on her… fucking hell, I’m lucky to have her, and she’s helped me a hell of a lot after coming out of hospital. It’s just the tuggy thing, I can’t remember the last time I yanked one off, and she’ll be expecting a womb full in February!
5
Fair play to ya fella👍
Go and make the grinner fart and fill ya boots with Xhamster instead streamed on the 50″ and go left handed.
Merry Xmas!
1
I have a simple rule at family meals. No phones at the table. My kids hate it, which means it’s a great rule. They also know I’m willing to back it up by sticking an offender’s phone in a glass of water. I did that with my eldest girl’s iPhone a couple of years ago, fucked it right up. Result? She now obeys the rule. Better still, she’s learned that the world will not come to an end if she can’t use her phone for an hour.
I consider it an insult to have someone sat at a table with their face buried in their smartphone. My nephew did just that a couple of weeks back when my brother in law and I, plus a couple of mates, were in the pub doing our wise old man routine and putting the world to rights. He’s joining the Army in the new year, and thinks it’ll be ok for him to keep his face glued to that little screen. We’ve told him it won’t, but he doesn’t believe us. The RSM’s boot up his arse should convince him otherwise.
8
yeh all these stupid cunts staring at screens ! …………
0