Driverless cars

I am not puzzled at all over this horseshit idea. I don’t want them. I don’t want to own one. I do not know any one who does want them. The only cunts to benefit will be the government. With this technology, they will be able to implement their policies over control your freedom of movement. They will be able to control where and when you go. Imagine a hybrid of the BBC and DVLA running that. I have heard fuck all about how this is going to integrate with all other traffic. No big picture. So it’s a hidden secret agenda. Of course it sounds ‘electricky’ so it must be good for the planet, for fucks sake. Owning a car will be pointless as the control program will be owned by the government. So we get the ultimate Volkswagen, a travel pod for RENT. Only allowing you to travel to authorised destinations. The car insurance business dies, as does the car manufacturer industry and your bit on the side. Its ‘big program’ will supply movement anomalies to a ‘big data’ factory.

Where’s Dave, oh he called in sick with a bad back, oh hang on, he left his autocart at Ascot Races and he’s just gone to the Travelodge.

Where’s Ahmed? He just stopped off at B&Q to buy some nails on his way to Oxford street via the chemist’s.

If the rozzers can’t nick you for drink driving and speeding and getting a good noshing off some bird from the office while watching extreme porn on the deputy prime minister’s computer on the way home, how will they pass the time?

More likely it will end up like a Jeepny in Asia, a shared minibus to the mortgage repayment treadmill factory presided over by Mr M Goldman Carney. Cunt. Please someone put the case for driverless cars, or better how they will be abused by the CIC. (Cunts in Charge).

Nominated by Haywood Jablomee

58 thoughts on “Driverless cars

  1. What are all those Uber drivers going to do for a living? Pick fruit in Norfolk I suppose.
    They certainly won’t be fucking off home you can be sure of that. 🐪

    • Not unless they fuck off with the £40-60k panzer wagons they have leased on the PCP. Obviously done under a false name & address that about 900 of them live, like the one that kicked off the towering inferno. Sure he was an Uber, sure he nipped out for a quick fare while his disposable BBQ simmered his Ramadan Iftar.

      Wonder if Bick Moore will tell?

      Maybe the head peaceful gladly let’s them use the address of the religion worshipping for ripping off the infidels that are the German car financing HQ’s.

  2. Reminds me of the time I took a taxi in Sydney. This was many years ago and pre-sat nav and the driver didn’t have a fucking clue where he was going. He had only a rudimentary grasp of the English language and couldn’t make sense of the A-Z he had either – he even handed it to me to see if I could find the location I wanted to go to, but there were several pages torn out of the A-Z and my destination was on one of the missing pages. I tried in vain to describe how to get to where I wanted to be and eventually the cunt stopped the car in a layby and said rather irritably “You drive me then?”. I was so angry that I tried to think of the most insulting thing he would understand. Noticing that the Driver Photo ID on the dashboard did not resemble the man who was actually driving, I had a sudden flash of inspiration and said, “I’m from the Department of Immigration, sir…” Well, the cunt opened the door and bolted, he ran off down the road leaving the car unlocked and unattended and I strolled away to catch a bus.

    • i caught a cab in sydney 3 nights ago and trust me things have not changed cunt didnt have a clue were he was going and his talking cunt of a sat nav took us in the most fucking round about way to my destination in the end it was comical gave hi 20 bucks for a 60 buck fare and told the cunt he was lucky to get a fucking cent
      not that he understood mind

      • Are we talking Sydney Australia? Thought they didn’t allow cunt immigration there? Confusion will be my epitaph…

      • We’re talking illegals, SB! That’s why my one did a runner when I pretended to be from the department of Immigration.

      • Oh right Fred, of course, just didn’t associate illegals with Australia…had it in mind they drowned their illegals in the Indian Ocean or summat!

      • yep Sydney Australia they are known as boat people and yes the boats are normally turned back which is their way of saying fucking sank but the occasional cunt makes it through and of course the cunt drives a taxi/uber

    • Should have torched it. Only once you got nearer your destination or at minimum, dumped it where it would get towed to the pound.

  3. Heard on the radio the other day that people born in the next few years wont have to take a driving test.

  4. Emergency cunting incoming. This goes out to the compensation culture and the sue everything at all costs when i dont get my own way. Watching Look North (local news prog) and an interview with one of the Indian 6. After spending 4 years in an indian shit hole prison for doing his job but accused of gun running or something, when asked surely theres a case for taking things further i.e. compo. He answers nah im just gonna move on. Also add to this that he’s an ex squaddie. No pissing about he’s a legend.

    • Guy should be made an honorary cunter.

      That said, fucking Boris should call the Indian ambassador in and demand money. And fuck their foreign aid.

      • Don’t know if it was the same guy or not … but certainly from the same mob .. on the radio the other morning, when asked what did he want … all he said was he wanted was a hot bath and a cup of tea.
        No vindictiveness … Top Man.

  5. Driverless cars? Fuck that! I want the flying car I was Tomorrow’s World promised me back in the late 70’s/early 80’s. Still waiting, you lying bastards.

    • I think it was something like 98% of all products on TW never made it to market, and that brought it’s demise.

  6. I see plenty of driverless cars on my daily commute. Well, they are technically, as the cunts behind the wheel are busy sorting out their pathetic social media on the hypnotwat device otherwise known as the smart phone, and driving is probably fourth or fifth on the priority list, below coffee drinking, nose picking, groin scratching and billowing out vast clouds of fuck knows what from those adult dummies/blow job trainers/fume flutes.

    • Don’t forget the make up appliers who miss the traffic lights changing. I had the same bitch do it at the same lights, same time every morning unless I got up and didn’t hit the snooze.

      You can’t direct road rage at a woman you know, its 2017.

  7. I look forward to seeing how the driverless car reacts when confronted with a pissed-up Polish driver behind the wheel of a 40 ton artic. deciding to cut it up as it attempts to filter on to the motorway….suppose it could always do what I did ….shit itself while swearing like a tourette-suffering Cunter.

  8. Seems to me that nobody will actually OWN a driverless car – They’ll be interchangeable… just jump in and out of the next available to arrive at your destination ? Fuck That ! People want their own car. Do I want to travel in a vehicle occupied moments before, by some cunt picking their nose, scratching their bollocks, or furiously masturbating (hands-free, don’t forget) all over the interior ? Pass me the Wet-Wipes, darling, I’m going’t the Offy…

  9. Off topic but extremely important. Ed Sheeran gets an MBE but Jimmy Page isn’t first in line to the throne.

    • Sheerballs deserves CBE.
      Standing, of course, for Cunt of the British Empire.
      What a slimy little turd-nugget the boy is.

    • Surprised they haven’t dropped the ‘B’ out of these awards (OBE, MBE, CBE).

      What with it quite clearly being racist and all that!

      Now if you were to switch the existing ‘B’ for the one out of the MoBo Awards then you’d be talking, and no doubt deserving of a Harlem Globetrotter “high five” from James Hewitt’s illegitimati. Pnaar, pnaar!

      • I thought Page already had a MBE or OBE? whatever its a stupid cunting award and led zeppelin were kinda overrated anyway… but Ed beetroot getting it is cuntish hes at best a shite low rent folk singer

  10. Resisted the temptation to punch a couple of bastard at work.Not sure if I made the right decision.

    • Mind games Shaun of the Dead 69. Mind games and sabotage. If that don’t work, follow the cunts home and rev a chainsaw outside their window at 3am. Works every time.

    • How about we do one of them holiday house swaps? Is it Air bnb or something?

      You stay at mine & sort out a couple of my addresses and I will do the same?

  11. Bet the six people murdered by that fat cunt Harry Clarke wish his Glasgow bin lorry had been driverless, instead of…umm…slob-driven.

    • Funny how nobody cares about the bitch from leading health care provider, BUPA who had earlier gave him a clean bill of health and didn’t want to see his G.P records that he had consented to them obtaining.

      He could have been off the road long time before that happened.

      But that blame was brushed away quickly under the carpet.

      • Send that Kate Andrews over to sort the cunts out. Clear straight thinking mind not full of BOLLITICS.

      • That XXL head cunt Bacon thinks its the fucking 80’s with his fucking jacket sleeves half way up his arms the druggie bastard, I bet the cunt ain’t got no socks on either, CUNT

      • I like her, appears on the Sly™ press preview and she calls it just like it is any time I see it.

  12. The religion of peace.
    We all know the media and their cunty followers and like minded cunts love to defend Muslim pieces of shite no matter what they do, but shoorley even they cunts must cringe when ‘Palestinians have ordered three days of violence’ in response to the Donald recognising Jerusalem as Israels capital?
    Who/what other cunts do this and have such support?

    Fuck ’em? Nah nuke ’em…..

      • Never announce to your enemies your intention to kill them… the element of surprise is ruined now and innocents on their side are vulnerable to israeli aggression. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot and putting your people at a greater risk then before

      • Attack is the best form of defence.
        Do unto others as they would do unto you, but do it first.

  13. Off point….
    The guardian has run a particularly shite story on EU citizens that have left the uk or are leaving since referendum..
    Titled brexit the tipping point…..

    Una … Irish
    I couldn’t stand the idea of queuing for hours at the Irish border….

    Krystov…. Polish
    It was like someone spat in my face.. I’ve been asked so brutally to get out…

    Rolph… Dutch
    It’s disgusting how England has turned its back on the UK

    Seriously desperate shit from the guardian! , our orish girl Ona according to the guardian left in 2016? So worried was she by the possibility of queuing? Didn’t wait to find out what was actually going to happen?
    Polish krystof has been brutally asked to leave? Not by threats but by our decision to vote leave?
    Rolph actually just needs to learn how to spell his name properly!!
    What a piece of tripe from the guardian! Surly they can do better than that? Disappointing stuff ……. it’s the kind of garbage you would expect from the sun, mirror mail etc etc
    The guardian likes to portray itself as the intellectuals choice, many of their readers have a certain arrogance, believing its the only place that offers the thinking mans view of the world…..

    • All this shit about current EU Citizens legal status in U.K. has been whipped up by Remoaners from day one. Brexiteers have always made it clear that EU citizens legally resident in U.K. before we leave the EU will not be under any threat of deportation.

      But when confused EU citizens go for reassurance from their Remoaner MPs, they are deliberately misled into panicking about their legal status so as to add fuel to the flames of Project Fear. Same with the fake or exaggerated claims of spike in ‘hate crimes’ following the referendum – lies pushed to further the crooked libtard Remoaner agenda. Seriously pisses me off.

      • If there actually was any spike in hate crimes (whatever the fuck that is) it was against followers of the religion of peace. Fuck all to do with Brexit and everything to do with the actions of the peaceful murdering cunts.

    • Is this the excuse for any potential second referendum being a greater leave percentage… Oh all the remainers are leaving for EU countries so they can remain?

      Adios, Au revoir…fuck off, don’t forget Clegg & Co… Oh & Gina Miller

    • Did oirish Ona really leave the country or was she just living the idea in her head the same way Katy Perry etc dreamt of leaving USA for Canada, GB etc if & when Trump became president?

      Why is nobody from the media tracking these cunts down and calling them out instead of rerunning all these anti Trump protests around America?

  14. Anyone else seen the ABBC’S animated Xmas TV loop showing a couple of “peacefuls” (Father and Daughter) enjoying the Xmas spirit, decorating the tree, etc.

    Just how it is in real life!

    In Lutonistan you can count the number of houses baring any trite Xmas pageantry on the fingers of one of Sir Ranulph Fiennes hands!

    “Peacefulness” the Xmas gift to the UK that just keeps giving!

    • To qualify that I’m including non-“peacefuls” in this observation, too scared of a brick through a window (or worse) for daring to support this nation’s infidel religion and it’s traditions.

      Cos they’re an even minded, well adjusted, tolerant lot your “peacefuls”.

    • I’m waiting for the one that shows what he really gets up to, trips to peaceful HQ, b&q, the chemist, Lidl for a bag or two then blows the full concert up at the end.

      Christmas Together….with his 50 odd virgins.

  15. Wont ever happen. It’s amazing that no matter how stuoid an idea is, if you hear it enough, it will happen.

    There will NEVER be motorways stuffed with only driverless cars because to get there there will need to be a mix of driverless/driven cars for years which will NEVER happen.

    The idea is humanist/science worshipping bullshit, espoused by dreamers whos only input is moronic BBC style journalism.

    FACTS: There will never be a driverless road network. Artificial conscious will never exist. AI as they call it are simply automated electronic systems, that’s it, everything else is just fantasy.

    This isn’t speculation this is observable objective truth. What is also observable truth is that people are so fucking needy they will believe any fucking bullshit.


  16. Just saw orish tit suck Leo varadkar on Sky doing a press conference “ this is not the end but it is the end of the beginning “ listen you tick Cunt don’t try and sound all churchilian! , you wouldn’t be fit to lace his boots!
    Seriously who does this cunt think he is? Seeing him standing there talking big is one of my main reasons for wanting to leave the EU, it’s given two bob arsewipes like him far too much power! , it’s sucked the UK down into accepting nonsense from roaring mice from nowhere…..

  17. Fear not, cunters. The era of the driverless car will end within 24 hours of its opening, and for why? Every single car on the road will be religiously observing the Highway Code, and gridlock will nucleate on busy roundabouts and spread via multilane lights until nothing ever moves again.

    Thank god for motorcycles…

  18. my arse wipe neighbour has a driverless car, (they have two cars but only one of them can drive) the purpose of the driverless car is to block a space in the corner of the car park which they in turn park in front of to secure parking for themselves, thus guaranteeing a parking space at any time of the day.
    God forbid that you block in the wreck or your car will be peppered with notes about how they were “just about to go out” and you “have selfishly blocked them in”

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