Serena Williams

EMERGENCY CUNTING! Serena Williams has got married and proves there’s nothing worse than an uppity coon and that nothing exceeds quite like excess.

An entire block of LA was sealed off for the event which was held at the Contemporary Arts Center.

The wedding cost more than $1m and guests were asked not to bring their mobile phones because of an exclusive deal with Vogue. After all, wouldn’t want to have to pay for it yourself!

Kim Kardashian, Venus Williams, Beyonce, and the members of New Edition, who played a five-song set during the reception, were spotted arriving at the venue’s VIP entrance for the biggest celebrity cuntfest in recent years. Guests were also gifted one of Williams’ unique golden trophy party favors. Each guest table at the event had been named after one of Williams’ 12 grand slam titles, and her favors were recreations of the trophies she received for each corresponding title. Pretenieuse? Moi!?! Not moi! Moi tres important!!!!

99p on eBay. Free postage. Buy one, get one free!

Each room inside has a different type of music, and the bands rotate from room to room. In addition to the music, guests were also treated to doughnuts from local favorite District Donuts Sliders Brew, and were able to take a spin on a carousel that was built just a few days ago especially for the event.

Money certainly can’t buy class it seems

One, of course, has to feel sorry for J-Zee. Poor little lamb could only pop in briefly before he had to rush off in his private jet to his next tour date. Still, let’s hope he didn’t miss out on his tasteful little goldplayed trophy. That would be too much to bear.

Doubt we’ll beat this one for the cuntfest of the decade!

Nominated by Arfur Fucksake

25 thoughts on “Serena Williams

  1. Maybe Coconut Beyonce, Marie Antoinette Williams, Jay Zed etc should do a remake of the old Bob and Marcia song… I can hear it now… ‘To be a cunt, uppity, and black… And that’s a fact!’

  2. B.A. Baracus in a skirt, damn fool! Mouthpiece for women’s rights but the lazy cunt doesn’t practice what she moans about and wants equal prize money for less playing time that the men. Sure her brat has a ‘unique’ name but will be hard pressed to beat West Ham striker Andy Carroll who has burdened his with name Wolf Nine which sounds like an SAS mission to take out some peacefuls.

    • Andy Carroll is a thick cunt.., A Viz character incarnate… The bastard son of Eight Ace or Biffa Bacon’s brother…

    • I’m 6 3” northern male and I fully acknowledge she’d kick my ass

      Her camera wielding father pimp is far more worthy of a cunting IMO

      I doubt he’s actually figured out how to actually insert a roll of film in a camera yet. The daft cunt

  3. In days of olde, the Froggies used to have the heads off cunts like this who partook in such decadent, self important, self indulgent, and (you guessed it) uppity behaviour… Ah, happy days….

  4. And that shop dummy isn’t marrying that for fame and/or money much, is he?…
    But that’s the hilarious bit… Even with her celebricunt status and vast wealth, this uppity Buana can still only hook and ugly crosseyed fucker who looks like a half done waxwork…

  5. I heard (serious on ABBC Radio 2) that the wedding was to have a “Beauty and the Beast” theme.

    I’ll let you decide which is which.

  6. So Serena Williams wants equal prize money for less playing time that the men. I have the solution. No more sexist separation of men and women taking part in sporting events. Lets see how much she and that arch cunt Eni Aluko can make then. Although Ms Aluko might possibly earn a few bob from polishing the players’ boots.

  7. I don’t watch much tennis, is this the sister with the tits or the one with the legs? Does she grunt when she hits the ball? Some of these grunters sound like they’re being shagged, listening to them makes me feel like having a wank.

  8. Shagging her would be as close to nature as you could possibly get without being prosecuted for beastality.

  9. At least he’ll be getting laid on his wedding night…whether he wants to or not…

  10. The size of her fucking ‘booty’ now when she is in the best condition she probably will ever be is fucking big with a capital ‘B’. I wouldn’t like it to land on my face in a few years🤮
    As for her uppity fucking gangling sister and her butt ugly mamma I get the feeling that when they enter an hotel or restaurant it’s a big ‘don’t you know who we are’ attitude expecting every cunt to jump to their every order. Couple that with the sense of entitlement to win every match they play and if they don’t it’s ‘so unfair’ I can’t wait to see them disappear into the realms of has been tennis stars. Annoying cunts.

  11. What happened to the Pervy cunt of a dad ….?
    As I remember he was their with a long lense camera every time they rolled into town….. Or has he been locked up….?

  12. Seeing it in a wedding dress reminded me of the time my finger went through the bog paper.

  13. Not sure why she bothered with the hubby ! The Amazonian is so self important she should’ve just married herself.

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