Why the fuck do these bastards have to talk so fucking LOUD? If it isn’t Nwengweh and his mate doing the “LObba lobba lobBA” at ear-shattering volume on the back of a bus, then it’s another Nigerian housewife endlessly fucking barking into her phone for the entire train journey; often with the thing on loudspeaker.
Worst of all are the ones who sing to themselves – loudly – at the most inappropriate places. Yesterday I was in the queue at Marks, and some old woman – kitted out in the complete curtains and fruit bowl ensemble – stood behind me giving it the full fucking Ladysmith Black Mambazo*. Of course I couldn’t tell the cunt to shut up, or I would have made the national news, for Christ sakes.
Just shut the fuck up for five minutes!!!
*Other African vocal groups providing music for 90s baked bean adverts are available.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back