Noisy Nigerians

I want to cunt Noisy Nigerians. Straight off the bat let’s get this clear – I don’t give a continental fuck how this looks.

Why the fuck do these bastards have to talk so fucking LOUD? If it isn’t Nwengweh and his mate doing the “LObba lobba lobBA” at ear-shattering volume on the back of a bus, then it’s another Nigerian housewife endlessly fucking barking into her phone for the entire train journey; often with the thing on loudspeaker.

Worst of all are the ones who sing to themselves – loudly – at the most inappropriate places. Yesterday I was in the queue at Marks, and some old woman – kitted out in the complete curtains and fruit bowl ensemble – stood behind me giving it the full fucking Ladysmith Black Mambazo*. Of course I couldn’t tell the cunt to shut up, or I would have made the national news, for Christ sakes.

Just shut the fuck up for five minutes!!!

*Other African vocal groups providing music for 90s baked bean adverts are available.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

71 thoughts on “Noisy Nigerians

  1. Don’t have any Nigerians where I stay but do remember when watching Zulu that the non-British were really noisy cunts. Good old Michael Caine and the 24th Regiment of Foot sorted them out at Rorke’s Drift. Not so fucking noisy now, eh?

    • That’s a real shame… George Young (of the Easybeats and AC/DC producer) died only a month or so back….

      AC/DC were a top band… God bless Mal and Bon….

      • Even sadder the poor bloke couldn’t remember playing for them a few months back. Still, what a life. What would you pay to see George Malcolm and Bonn do an hour?

  2. A little due respect please Mike: ‘BatmanJelly’ would be the cunt’s correct nomenclature.

  3. Bit unfair this nom. They’re only doing what comes naturally. I watched a documentary about a troop of monkeys who spent their time screaming at each other and flashing their huge arses. Now I’m by no means suggesting that Nigerians are some kind of monkey…..but I think that they could well be the “missing link”. I believe that it’s only “Political Correctness” that prevents the scientific community from openly admitting that Africans are the proof that man is descended from the monkey. It’s just that white people have advanced further than blacks.
    We accept that chimps enjoy smoking and participating in medical experiments,macaque monkeys enjoy wearing fezes and dancing for peanuts,gorillas enjoy playing hide and seek with big game hunters,so we must accept that Nigerians are loud…..Just a thought…perhaps the big game hunters could be persuaded to hunt Nigerians? Fuck knows,there’s plenty of them and even the most ardent animal rights fanatic couldn’t object to an occasional cull when the Nigerians had outbred their environment?
    I shall contact Diane Abbott’s office to get her thought on the matter.

    • I agree Dick. Whilst on this matter, the Scottish genius John MacAdam was inspired by the Nigerians, and made millions.

    • Interesting theories Dick. IMO, white ‘Cunts’ are probably the missing link between those monkeys with white faces and the rare, common sense intellectually advanced white homo sapiens variety – many of whom I imagine contribute to this very site!

      PS: Bradley Wiggins is a white 100% missing link CUNT.

      • Hey wait a minute…apes and monkeys are invariably better behaved and intelligent than their cunt human descendants.

        Further proof of de-evolution then!

  4. My wife’s Scottish, and she’s very noisy. Tends to sing nationalist anthems and the like, rather than Rift Valley songs about lions and shit. She’s at her most vocal after a bottle or two. Still, I knew what I was getting into. Very colorful really. A simple but happy people.

  5. In detention centres around the UK detainees do not like to share accommodation with Nigerians. Even the Somali’s can’t abide the dirty fuckers, and that is saying something. When a Nigerian farts, its like a visit to the fucking Serengeti. The stink is awful, and only slightly better than the average Nigerians residual domiciliary stink. The primitive and raucous guttural noises emitted by the average specimen echoes the primitive past of these noisy cunts, and the noise is very elevated when straining at stool!
    Another characteristic of the Nigerian, is that truth is unknown to them. They also have a delusional quality that is very irritating. I once encountered a Jet Black Nigerian who had entered the UK on a Norwegian passport in the name of Rassmusson. The photograph was the big giveaway. It was of a white. They are not very clever. Thick Cunts

    • And all that ‘cradle of civilization’ bollocks… Everyone knows that Nigeria (and similar Bogo-Bogo territories) has the lowest IQ levels on the planet… Let’s face it: some (OK, scores) of them cunts have been in Blighty since Supercunt Blair let them in, and they still haven’t been arsed to learn the language, customs, or currency (doesn’t stop the scum taking it though)… And it is down to the fact that they are pig ignorant and thick as fuck… That and being lazy, useless, thoughtless, and grabbing bastards too…

  6. I was ordered to go into Costco, yesterday evening, for a few items.

    Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. The fucking place should be renamed Coonco. It is fucking chock a block with sambos, many buying up bog paper in bulk and bellowing at each other across the shop floor.

    Fat, filthy fuckers.

  7. Deer Santa,

    I desided to send you my Cristmas list.  This year I have not been at all cunty, but my wife wanted me to menshun sum things.

    It’s a waist of your time but shee insisted.  I have a teeny weeny, hardly worth menshining alcohol problem.  Then there is, in my wife’s words “an unhealthy Rachel Riley fixashun .”  Then, she keeps saying “what the fuck is a man in his 60s doing wearing Arsenal Shirts? ”  She also insisted that I menshun that I hate old people and other peeples  kids and hope they all die.  But apart from all that I haven’t been a cunt at all.

    I no its a but urly to send you my list but I am wurried that everywear in the hole world will sell out.  I wood like the fabulus new ortobiografy by that great man, Gordon Brown.  Cood  I hav  the delux edition that has his gide to buying and selling gold.

    Thank you.


  8. David Cassidy in a critical condition in hospital.Dont think anyone has him in the Deadpool but some cunters only have 4 names so he could be lucky number 5 for some.

    • I wonder if all the ladies who used to make their fellas feel like shit when he was on telly with coos of “Ooh isn’t he wearing well for his age! Pity you didn’t wear so well eh!?!” are watching the news?

      “Firstly, my blossom, I’m still fucking here – warts and all. Secondly the lucky cunt never married you!”

      And after I’d wiped the blood off my face I’d feel completely self-satisfied with myself!

      I have no ill feelings towards David Cassidy I just never got the hype. Maybe that’s because I’m a cunt rather than possessing one??

  9. Old story, but i had a flatmate who had a Nigerian hooker as his bird.

    Ding-dong, ” Bob you mudda fukka, whe ah you mudda fukka”
    I’d open the door and she’d barge past without even a “ello mudda fukka”
    Bob! Bob! mudda fukka, Bob!
    That’s all i heard her say, ever.

    I moved out and her and another nigerian hooker moved in and i now ignore the cunt in the street.

    • Bugger me birdman did your flatmate manage to dodge aids, anti-biotic resistant clap, ebola and an emptied bank account? I trust you disinfected the khazi seat before use. When I was doine in Brighton for the Labour Party Confernce was nightly amused by the Nigerian cult making offerings to the sea – bunch orf fat cunts in white robes (sheets) up to their arsea in the sea chanting and floating orf little rafts with candles in. Not a pretty sight.

      • Never thought of that, Sir Limply Stoke.
        It was a few years ago but i think I’ll get a check up on Monday.

  10. BBC said the IS A don’t exist any more.Not why the British Transport police say .Lying cunts.

  11. So whats going on with charles manson? this is the like hundredth time he came close to dying but somehow survived. Iwas gonna announce his death floridatimes had him listed as dead but they took down the page

      • The rumours about Manson keep coming from TMZ who are usually the first news source to report deaths or end of life stories.They normally get it right but they have got Manson wrong twice now.I reckon the story about Cassidy is true.

  12. There’s a lot of dodgy racialist-type stuff being written here and frankly I’m appalled.

    The World is one place and we are all one people. We’re all human and it doesn’t matter if you’re brown, red, yellow, black, or normal colour.

    • True but some cultures are better than others.Colour and race does not matter at all.Culture does.

      • I get on well with most of the Africans I know.They tend to be more conservative in their thinking.You mention gay pride transgenderism or an erosion of values and discipline and they go off on a rant of the same kind you see on this site.

      • It does take all sorts to make a world, but there’s always going to be antagonism… My grandad loathed the Japanese because they treated him like a piece of crap in Changi Prison… There are those who dislike Muslims because they are given special treatment by councils, the BBC and the like, even when they groom and rape girls and also murder them at pop concerts… And if a lot of these Africans come to Britain, don’t learn the language, don’t attempt to integrate or work, and still rake in the money and get the healthcare, it’s going to get up peoples’ noses…. And there are plenty of white cunts (white English cunts I might add) as well as the foreign ones… The recent supermarket cunting has a very wide range of cunts… I personally referred to both English and foreign cunts in that one…. That is what’s goof about this place… A cunt is a cunt… United Cunts Of Benneton, as the old advert sort of went…

      • That is what’s good about this place… A cunt is a cunt… United Cunts Of Benneton, as the old advert sort of went…


      • ‘I want you to know that I’m firm, but fair… I want you to know that I hold you all in equal contempt…’

        Mr McKay (Porridge)

    • Please CM, enough with the hippy BS. Over the years, but mostly in the army I found that people from West Africa are in many cases loud, obnoxious, belligerent and rude fuckers. I’ve also had this confirmed to me by some of the southern and East Africans I’ve worked with (they don’t like West Africans much either).

      • I’ve never noticed the Captain being so thin-skinned before? Sudden Road to Damascus moment? Maybe,but I’m not quite so convinced.

      • No, I was trying to make a gag about “normal” white skin colour. One has to be careful with irony. It wasn’t a serious comment, I haven’t gone all Patchouli oil United Cunts of Benneton.

      • The loudest fuckers I’ve encountered are Italians. Not content with frantically waggling their hands about, they don’t seem to have a volume control.

      • Almost right Captain. Had the pleasure of working for Italian company in London for about 13 years. Many did not have a clue about the job they were doing, nor cared much for the end result. Making decisions quickly before fully assessing the risk involved seemed to be the order of the day, usually with disastrous results. When the shit did hit the fan (which was often), usually ended up with them running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Laughably unprofessional and lazy cunts with stupid names like Fabio (make sure you get the accent right). They all enjoy a good lunch and bottle (or bottles) of wine though.

        My ultimate choice for loud cunts must however go to to Eastern Europeans. In a league of their own. Only realised that we have so many of the fuckers in the town only because they walk around in groups if 4 or 5 and shout at each other. They even shout at other groups 50 yards away, usually after whistling loudly to get their attention. Noisy unappreciative fucking dross who have nothing to offer and whom none of the locals asked for or want.

    • Funny you should say that B&WC..All the Africans I ever interviewed were “Princes”.
      Some two years later while visiting the shithole that is London, I met Prince ****** in full royal regalia on Portabello Road. He was a Parking Attendant.

  13. I see that Jayda Fransen, deputy leader of Britain First, has been arrested in London and flown over to Belfast for interrogation over an anti-terror speech she made there last August. It was a speech at the Northern Ireland against terrorism rally. Both the Irish and Met Police filth were involved and how pleased they must all be. Paul Holding and Fransen are currently on bail for allegedly inciting religious hatred. The charges relate to a trial of a group ( I can’t imagine it to be our peaceful loving rapist ragheads) who raped a teenager above a takeaway in Kent. Can’t thank the plod enough for being a load of cunts, just like our useless Members of Parliament. Yes Britain First may like to stir it a little, but only because of the cowardly cunts in power that continue to piss off the indigenous people of this country.

  14. I was a teacher at the Manchester College Of Arts and Technology when I was younger… And after Blair got in these Nigerian and Somalian types took the place over…. Queues were jumped, good students overlooked, and the favouritism and sense of entitlement was diabolical… I still insisted on my ‘first come, first served’ policy and looking after any (and that means any!) decent student… But one of these cunts complained (via a fucking interpreter!) to upstairs… Because I wouldn’t let him jump a queue for a travel pass (the poor little cunt didn’t like waiting apparently!)… This happened many times in different situations and other students voiced their own concerns… I voiced their (and my) complaints but was told that the Africans were now top priority…. So I resigned on a matter of principal and I still don’t regret it….

    • Having arrived at DC Centres around the UK, a corrupt little scheme was hatched with NASS RLC IAS to suck the taxpayer dry by prioritising their need above all others. Well done for standing up for principal

      • I work regular locums in IRC’s. Ot is interesting to see the different behaviours of nationalities:
        Chinese: very polite/no fuss/appreciative. Same goes for all South Esat Asians.
        Portugese: major league junckies.
        North Africans: Hystrionic attention seekers
        Indian: hypochrondriacs and massive heroin addicts
        Sri Lankan’s: ALL claim to have been tourtured
        Iraqi’s/Afghani’s Rude, aggressive, ungrateful
        African’s: wholly unable to tell the truth.
        Easter European’s: pissed as Oliver Reid
        You have no idea how demanding these detainees are. The want everything NOW. I have seen many refuse to get on a plane without medicatipn to tale backbto um bongo bongo land or to see a dentist. Even had someone who was deported to Afghanistan write to ask that when his taxpayer glasses arrive they are sent on!

        Nearly all are registeted with NHS GP’s. Most have had extensive treatment on the NHS.

        Trying to keep a straight face can be a right challenge!

    • Good for you. Some things in life are worth taking a stand on Norman.

      Those of us who still have a sense of decency and moral fibre are fighting a losing battle against continual unfairness, queue jumping and prejudice.

      Have never considered myself to be a racist nor believed in political correctness in any shape or form and in accordance with the British bulldog spirit would rather go down fighting than with a whimper.

  15. My experience of Nigerians is not good. The ones I have come across are loud, rude and full of shit.

    Realistically there are going to be exceptions to the rule, but on the whole not a rewarding experience.

    • Im with you PM, The exception to the rule is that some CAN be quiet, ( but they are ALL full of shit )

  16. NHS: Nigerian HealthvService. Don’t get me started. Am working with some Nigerian nurses on my current locum role. As usual they display the usual qualities I have becone acustomed with them:
    Late every day
    Unable to comprehend something unless it is explained to them at least 10 times in Janet and John level English.
    Oh and the usual bible bashing shite…..

    • My Japanese wife when living in Japan was a qualified working nurse. Whilst in hospital in the UK having our son decided she did not want to work as a nurse here. Not sure the reasons why, as never fully explained.

      Qualified as a chef and now working in prestigious hotel. Incredibly hard working, almost like a machine. Relentless. Have never met anyone like her. Told by her manager she does the work of three people. She tells me the Eastern Europeans especially hard workers, British lazy and unreliable but always manage to keep their jobs.

      She said when first came to England, English government is too kind to everyone and that kindness in Japan is considered to be a weakness. A very hard place to live if you are lazy and want something for nothing as you will be sadly disappointed.

      Used to disagree with her but have now come to realise that kindness is a weakness and will always be exploited and taken advantage of.

      • Without kindness Mankind would not have made it past day seven!

        Don’t confuse being a mug or an easy touch with being kind. The Japanese may not be renowned for their acts of kindness, but even they reveal occasional moments of benevolence toward one other.

        In fact one of my sisters-in-law is Japanese and is one of the kindest people I know. She’s also far from weak and would kick your fucking cunt in if you tried to take the piss or do a number on her, ha-ha!

  17. All this Af bashing reminded me of a story from an old (pre-apartheid) South African army seargent… “best way to fight Afs is smoke a cigarette. Find some good cover, fire off a few rounds to get them excited, smoke your cigarette, by this point Afs will have been shouting, whooping, and spraying all their ammo on full auto, lock n load, walk out and slot them as they scurry around looking for ammo whilst relying on their juju beads to protect them from bullets”. Makes me chuckle everytime I see a clip of Af militia/soldiers from some fly blown shithole on the telly.

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