Daytime TV

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Daytime TV needs a good cunting in my opinion.

Using up some holiday and I have to say what a fucking horror show daytime TV is.

Endless repeats of ancient Top Gear, Police Interceptors and Can’t pay, We Won’t Take It Away are the HIGHLIGHTS. When you did deeper the torture that can be found is amazing.

Move To the Country is a fine example, insufferably smug middle age cunts selling their 700k townhouse and sniffing at a huge country mansion, cunts. There’s also a version where the cunts are buying holiday homes in shitholes like Spain and Portugal where they’re not sure if it’s “quite right”….it’s Spain you thick as shit cunts, stray dogs and more dog shit on the streets than you can shake a stick at combined with British pensioners and chavs smelling of cheap perfume and chip vinegar.

Then you can move onto the ultimate terror…..daytime advertising, it comes on like every thirty seconds and all channels show adverts at the same time so there’s no escape.

I don’t have PPI so fuck off cunts.

I’m not injured so you can all fuck the fuck off too.

I’m not stupid enough for utter dross like the “Postcode Lottery” where council house mongs leer at you from the screen with their oversize novelty cheques.

The very worst though are those fucking Clear Score ads where the cunt continually checks his credit score and talks bollocks to his dog while his wife looks and speaks like she’s taken a massive does of Ketamine. Look you cunt, there’s no such thing as a credit score in the UK so take your dog, junkie wife and your shitty website and shove it up your arse.

No wonder there’s so many untaken days holiday if this slack jawed dross is all you have to watch.

92 thoughts on “Daytime TV”

    • Agree entirely…

      Freedom of speech is vital.

      We can then disagree… call the snowflakes brainwashed cunts when (so often necessary), but also TWAT the Daily Fail, which deserves it richly…

      The Fail is, after all, only the righty version of the lefty grauniad…
      I think we are mostly of the opinion that neither are particularly useful, except in cases of severe incontinence…

  2. Excellent cunting, superbly worded. Agree with every single one of your points. It’s good to watch it occasionally just to remind yourself that there is something even more aggravating than evening television.

  3. JUDGE JUDY rules! Agreed, everything else is projectile vomit. Apart from ‘Come Dine With Me’ and ‘Can’t Pay, We’ll Take It Away’ – public service broadcasting at its finest!

    • I prefer to call it ‘Cunt pay, or we’ll take it away’ and I agree it’s a top show. Full of misery and sorrow and it makes me appreciate how I’m getting on well.

    • I too like Come Dine With Me. A great platform for classic British sarcasm and one liner put downs. Great stuff!

  4. Great cunting for daytime TV/ads. Daytime TV is only on if I’m off and its pissing down, Bargain Hunt, Homes under the Hammer, there all bollocks though Christina Trevanion may appraise my goods any time she likes. Loose Women are mostly a bunch whinging, washed up old fishwife femenazis who you wouldn’t poke with a shitty stick, and if Jezza Kyle is your bag head down to Asda on Black Friday and watch chavvy cunts fighting over toasters.

    Michael Parkinson is a fossilised old cunt with his SunLife Guaranteed over 50 Plan ads, I’m tempted to get my dad to sign up so I can get the free pen and poke my eyes out.

    • Antiques roadshow is another one of daytime tv’s finest before the finale that is Pointless.

      I confess to watching the odd episode depending on who’s rummaging around. As entertaining as Christina can be, I prefer Catherine who rarely fails to give me a good stiff “South on” experience particularly on the occasions she takes to the step ladders to get those out of reach items.

      Something about her, I see her as the Bridget Jones of the antique world. Hoping she can make it to my next “Tarts, but no vicars” garden party.

      • The antiques roadshows finest moments are when you get these people on “ oh it’s a family heirloom I would never consider selling it” You know full well the Cunts only interested in how much it’s worth!!! Flog it and have a holiday, buy car or speedboat etc etc
        The expert gives his opinion “ well this is a delightful piece from 1850,s , one recently sold at auction for upwards of £100,000 in mint condition, now see here you have a crack on it, it’s only tiny but I’m afraid it impacts the price a little?, I see this piece going at the right auction for around £ 1250- £1300!! “ At the moment the look on the owners face is absolutely priceless!! ……..

  5. Excellent cunting,
    Although daytime TV is a pile of cunt one standout cunt show has to be one of the ones I cunted a year or so ago, it’s called ‘A place in the sun’ or something like that where you get a selfish couple or family living in some cunt area who aren’t sure whether they want to live in Australia (probably to get away from the cunt family they have in the UK). What follows is the family getting a nice holiday to somewhere in Australia (for free of course) to see if they like it and they get to piss about on the beach. Then there’s the video phone call from the family back in the UK which involves grandparents saying ‘we’ll miss you’. Fuck off, what a piece of cunt. In the end they ‘decide’ after a free holiday and wasting an hour of our lives that they’re going to stay in the UK. Taking the piss.

    • Would be a massive improvement if the video phone call was to show the smug couple how their home was being burgled while they were gloating away on their holiday.

  6. Whilst on the subject of daytime TV.
    Bargain cunt is my reason I haven’t and never will pay for a TV licence.
    Firstly they go to a antiques market and buy something for say £50 before they buy they told it’ll fetch about £40-60 at auction.
    They then seem to think it’s funny when they get £20 for it (which is all licence payers money). They are cunts.

    • Well said.
      I just posted something similar below.
      …i should probably read other comments first.

  7. Barry Scot is a cunt,
    You know who I mean, that cunt from the Cillit Bang adverts… What a cunt.
    All the gurning cunt say is ‘Bang and the dirt is gone’.
    Someone shoot the cunt… ‘Bang and the cunt is gone’.
    The cunt.

    • Saw your post and went atmospheric. That cunt drives me fucking insane B&WC ! What a fucking cunt! Cillit Bang, Cleans everything” Shite, ! its fucking shite ! The lying subterranean spunk bag, cross bred with fucking skippy the bush kangaroo.
      If Cillit bang cleans EVERYTHING ( use all around the house ) Why in fuck then is he peddaling Cillit Bathroom Cleaner and Cillit Tonsil fucking wash?

      Oh,and another thing, New Improved Cillit Bang, yet he still sells the ordinary inferior product. If the improved version cleans everything ( like he says it does ) take the rest of the shit off the market!

      Thieving Aussie cunt! There….that feels better!

      • Agreed ASA,
        The fact that cunt advertises it means ill never buy the stuff, nothing wrong with any Supermarkets own brand which is probably half price. Barry Scot should be ,ade to drink a few litres of the Cillishit Bang and then tell us how good it is.

    • Then they could replace him with Gary Linedancer…

      “Bang!!” and another cunt bites the dirt…

  8. If you watch daytime tv then you have no reason to complain. What do you expect? Evening tv is bad enough so it is no surprise that daytime is an even bigger pile of steaming shite. The content and adverts reflect the viewing demographic.

    • A week of Bargain hunt could be a good way round the British euthanasia laws. Save all that messing about with
      Lawyers, expense and fucking about in Switzerland.

      • I was just about finished, near drawing my last breath and then Tim Wottacunt disappeared, replaced by some floozy who has jump started my old ticker and now I’m back where I started off. I’m full of life again wanting to run a marathon every day and climb every fucking mountain. ABBC are Cunts.

        No wonder Morrissey is singing songs of shite, telling everyone to stop watching the news and to stay in bed and be kind to ourselves instead. Hand shandy anyone?

        There’s some truth in what the cunt sings, clearly referring to the Sly News™ 15 minute brainwash sessions or equivalent cuntings from ABBC news. I just don’t know if he is the best of cunts to deliver the message seriously.

      • As for lawyers, expense and fucking about in Switzerland, this sounds a description of a large pharmacy chain that coins a fortune from NHS prescriptions, before a bottle of perfume or a ChapStick is even sold and then flees to Switzerland just in time for their tax returns.

        Anyone who supports this bunch of cunts in the re-fuck of our government funds is a cunt who needs “Booted” themselves.

  9. Oh Spanky you have hit a raw nerve my friend , I could cunt on this subject endlessly.
    What about that camp beak Judge cunting Rinder where he lords over thick cunts and their pathetic quarrels. Then their is that massive cunt yes you’ve guessed it Jeremy Kyle with the dregs of society and that go compare cunt who makes me want to pummel his head with a golf club. I need a lay down now before my blood pressure goes through the roof. Get back to you all later.

  10. Excellent cunting spanky.

    What is it with fuckin antiques programmes during the day?
    I was off sick a while ago and most programmes during the day seem to be about going to a car boot sale, buying some utter junk and then flogging it and being really chuffed that they made £20 profit from an entire day of fucking about.

    Countdown is good though coz it’s got Rachel Riley.

    • It’s about educating the prisoners on what to steal and at the same time keep m quirt mate.

      • I dont understand either DTS,
        If I made 20 quid for a days I’d feel like a right cunt not celebrate it.

  11. Hating any kind of tv as I do, I cannot understand why people like the shit that is on in the evening, never mind the day. However, I was around a mates last weekend, & he had recorded Knight Rider & Street Hawk from a new military channel.

    I can remember Knight Rider being on when I was a kid, and can’t remember when it started, but watching the first two episodes showed me just what a complete cunt hasselhoff was. Also, watching Street Hawk allowed me to see an even bigger cunt… the cunt that is george clooney.

    My mate had also recorded the A-Team on another channel, but I liked that… I can vaguely remember that being on on a Saturday evening, but I might be wrong. My mate has no idea when it was originally on English tv.

    All I can recommend is that fellow cunters give up watching the telly… my girlfriend & I just watch a few recorded movies now & again, or maybe a dvd, I can promise you that you won’t look back.

    I would hate to see the shit that is now pumped out on daytime tv, it was bad enough when I was recovering from a head injury, there was fuck all else to do when your lower body refused to work.

    • I’d forgotten about that Streethawk cunt, back in the day my town had a “wannabe” cunt who took to the streets in his black one piece waterproof suit, black crash helmet with tinted visor atop his “souped up” black Yamaha FS1E, a 50cc moped for those uneducated on the two wheeled variety. He took to the streets mainly at night and rode more on the pavements than on the roads, turning off the lights in the process for added coolness as he terrorised young girls into dropping their knickers.

  12. Fellow cunters. I would like to nominate the International Olympic Committee for a cunting.

    T’would seem that in the light of everything “right on” they are considering Pole Dancing to be included in the 2024 Olympics.

    I thought it was April 1st but no, they actually are taking it under consideration as discussed on the far right-wing ABBC R5L programme this morning.

    I shit you not!

      • Next it will be bukake which I think is some sort of formation wanking, but I may be wrong. It could perhaps be incorporated into the pole dancing audience.

      • ‘Strictly Bukake get me out of here’ I like the sound of that. Saturday night telly at its finest. Female selebs getting a face full of jizz and presented by Jennifer Lawrence.

    • One of my favourite Olympic sports is the one where you make your way through the snow, stop, pull out a gun, shoot, and continue on your way.
      In most of the world it’s known as the biathlon, in certain areas of London it’s known as winter…

      • Winter cleansing?

        Get everything clean & sparkling white in time for Santa coming, get rid of everything dirty & smelly.

      • Speaking of Santa, anyone listened to Chas’ Christmas album ‘Dire Christmas’ yet?

        Takes that fucking Christmas music to a whole new level of shit..

    • Discriminatory against other E Europeans…

      I’d like to nominate “Romanian Pogo Dancing”…
      Stake a load of them down on the pitch, then dance all over them with pogo sticks.

  13. Does anyone remember the Ocean Finance adverts? I couldn’t help but think that they were taking the piss out of their intended clientele…two stand out in particular: one in which a fat, ugly, woman with cheap jewellery stated that getting an Ocean finance loan is easy for thickos because they don’t (as she put it) “babble you with science”. By which, presumably, she meant ‘reading the application form carefully’. Assuming they could read. Another one depicted some cunt getting massively in debt to buy a ride-on lawnmower for a garden the size of Calista Flockhart’s lunch. I’d imagine that the sort of brain-dead spastics who used to agree to these loans are now getting their ringpieces reamed by payday lenders, the utter mongs.

    • On the subject of payday loans what about the utter cunt with the sunglasses and bandana advertising Sunny loans allegedly towing an articulated lorry on a set of fucking roller skates.

      “That’s life support”?

      This cunt deserves to be on a life support machine with somebody at hand ready to flick the switch should he show any sign of returning to life.

      • I truly hate those adds.

        There’s a nother one where some fat cunt is having a shower that cunt turns up and pays for a heating boiler or something.

        Creepy cunt.

  14. Being covertly and blatantly overtly spoon fed socialism, islam and feminism posing as entertainment is not my idea of a good alternative to lobotomy.

  16. Why are all these cunts moaning about Michael Gove’s joke?

    It’s a fuckin joke you cunts get a sense of humour.
    Fuckin BBC.

    • Humour will always offend some cunt nowadays. Politicians, luvvies etc are hauled over the coals for anything that some sad cunt could find ‘offensive’. In this case it is trivialising the intense suffering of the women who would fuck just about anything to get a film part. And are now queuing up to denounce some fucker or other. Usually because they careers are over or they are starring in Hollyoaks whatever that is.

    • Have you noticed Deploy ? Their are no comedians or jokes anymore, if someone cracks a half funny joke now they end up being crucified on Sly News

  17. After a back operation I took the opportunity to try and find anything that might be watchable and we have lots of channels of pure dross to pick from,most of which had never ever been explored.
    The single most cuntish ,useless piece of TV pisstaking was a three year old series of the shopping channel.This means that the turdrags in charge have reason to think that someone is watching this parade of utterly worthless tat that is no longer available !!! What the fuck is that about, how fucking thick are these moronic cunts to watch that?

  18. I love it if I’m driving through some scummy area first thing in the morning and see all the benefits skanks in their PJ’s and UG boots chucking their little scroats through the school gates then hurrying back to their housing benefit abode via the local convenience store run by Mr Singh to stock up on fags, diet coke and multipack chocs and Haribos so they can watch their fellow human effluent cunts on Kyle. The Scag school run should be in the Olympics.

    • Forgot the scratch cards they choose to scratch outside blocking the doorway, followed by the mandatory throwing of losing card to the pavement next to the rubbish bins.

      Filthy cunts.

    • Yes Kendo, sadly we live in a society that actively encourages scags to breed and be a drain on society.

  19. Cuntflap is Morrissey and I claim my prize of a 10% off voucher for express pizza, wrapped in a little cellophane packet.

    • He virtually sang a sing which was your post word for word on Norton’s weekly shitfest last night.

      First time I ever saw the cunt without a bunch of flowers in his mitts.

      • Spooky shit in time for Halloween.

        Explains why I was sure I had outed you as him though.

        I was looking forward to that cheap pizza dining experience as well. Maybe next time!

        That reminds me, it will be Halloween themed shitefest on Strictly & Shitfactor tonight, a real monster mash.

  20. I know some on this site have noticed this before, but what a cunt Corbyn is. Just watched the cunt denouncing sexual harassment. Pity he cant also denounce the anti-semites that his Stalinist party is infested with.

    • What is it with all these wimmin and their useful idiot male enablers, whinging all over the media today? Is it Women’s Whinge Day or summat? Fucking waste of airtime.

    • What happened to good old fashioned male virility ? Mind you where I work the women are all gagging for it , especially the married ones. Fuck me if us blokes behaved like they do at work we would all get the sack.

      • Not surprised the women you work with are gagging for it, with their husbands and men in general having been totally emasculated over the past 50 years by the usual PC suspects who find the difference between men and women offensive.

        Their current project? Gender neutrality. Who would have thunk it…?

  21. Anyone who cunts Come Dine With Me is an absolute bastard. 5 cunts go round each others house for dinner, loads of alchohol, and if all goes well, a shag. It’s a real life psychological thriller, and at the end of the week, the sense of euphoria when the winner is announced is only akin to hearing that Steve Wright is dead.

    • Methinks the above may be a hoax post. For a start only 4 cunts go round each other’s houses. And it never ends with a shag thank fucking Gawd!!

  22. I’ve never understood those ads that promise “A fixed sum upon your death.” What the fuck good is it to me if I’m dead? I plan to spend every fucking penny I have before I croak. I love the thought of that ungrateful bunch of scroungers,my family,thinking that they’ll get their grasping hands on something,only to discover that I have actually spent the lot and left them with the bill for my funeral.
    Fuck them.

    • I hope that Michael Parkinson’s family get to benefit from his life assurance policy soon.

      • Michael Parkinson using the Sadiq Khan strategy:

        “I’m often asked what was my favourite interview. Tough question. My answer to that is , “I’ve no idea what you are talking about mate”.

      • Khan khant answer a simple question let alone a tough one.

        He is an embarrassment to “The people of London” and he does nothing other than sell them out at every opportunity while appeasing the peacefuls.

        Repeatedly defending / attempting to deflate the seriousness of the animals attacks on the people of Britain.

        Anything he does or any scheme he comes up with leaves the same people paying up for it.

        Reduce pollution on roads to allow another airport runway to open and hopefully balance our and still meet air quality targets. Charge those who don’t as the said £10 can really patch up and repair the ozone layer and reduce the pollution.

        How about sorting out public transport first and give people an alternative?

        Sad to say I’m lucky not to live in London.

      • Better still, that it doesn’t pay out, and his family have to cough up for a load of oily rags and a few gallons of paraffin…

  23. Most of the defaulters on that “Can’t Pay We’ll Take It Away.” are unemployed chavvy women with a tribe of semi-feral brats or crooked refugee types. I don’t understand why anyone in their right mind would have advanced them credit in the first place. As for that tactic they have of not allowing access to the court officials, I’d make it law that if they are on benefits,they have no right to refuse access. It’s not their house if they don’t pay for it themselves.

    • It’s ok Dick, the cunts have no right to refuse access if the cunt address is on the court order. Btw, I am not a bailiff. But if I had my time again would definitely consider hassling cunts as career option.

    • I take it, Mr Fiddler, that you’re as happy as I am when it’s some sort of darkie getting a visit from the high court chaps with an hour to be evicted. It’s rather a shame that they don’t have the power to deport the sponging savages too. Why on earth would anyone in their right mind rent a house to a family of peacefuls or golliwogs?

      • It would be nice if they reversed the process and ask the lending cunt why the fuck he advanced 8 grand to a family of sand dwellers. And you are right, every place they gain entry is a hovel.

      • A lot of the Pakis rent to members of their own family. They all live in each others houses,because that way they get rent for a house that they own while having their own rent paid by the state.
        It’s normally Darkies who get evicted,or at least single women who have kids to a Darky. There’s never any sign of him.

    • “Can’t Pay We’ll Take It Away.” is like Viz’s 8 Ace being made into a TV series…

  24. Was it that cunt Vanhoogstraten that said ‘tenants are by their very nature scum’.
    Don’t know what he’s doing now but he must be an even bigger cunt if he’s still alive. Cunt.

    • Van Hoogstraten is living in Zimbabwe I believe, he’s very good mates with Robert Mugabe . The evil cunt still owns loads of property around Brighton and Hove

  25. not one mention of ellen
    the biggest daytime tv cunt of them all
    horrible geezer bird shit cunt

    • Agreed… Ellen is disgusting and has been up Madogga’s front and back passages, like so many others….

  26. Tipping Point, now there’s a right crock of shit.

    No wonder people turn over to Ch4’s horse racing and end up becoming gambling addicts instead.

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