Nomination: William Shakespeare.
Turned on the news the other day to see some cocksucker with a waxed moustache wanking on about fucking Shakespeare. Number one, anyone who has a waxed moustache in 2017 is a cunt and anything they say can be safely ignored. Number two (ooer, missus), I fucking hate the way Shakespeare is routinely described as the greatest writer (in English) ever. FUCK THAT STRAIGHT UP THE ARSE.
I’m pretty sure most cunters would agree that Shakespeare ruined their English lessons at school. Fucking pages of boring, barely understandable crap, interwoven with shite jokes and bullshit history. Shakespeare doesn’t hold a candle to Orwell, Hemingway or even Isaac Asimov when it comes to writing a decent fucking story.
Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.
On a lighter note i saw SCOTLANDS Andy Murray (mint) got knocked out of Wimbledon today!! That’s a shame? ….,. Jesus Christ I fuckin hate tennis but would have loved Henman to have won Wimbledon!! Although a bit of a toffy nosed cunt at least he was English!!
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Does this make me a racist. I do hope so! Must get round to recording this…
It must be simply frightful being foreign
I can’t imagine how you cope at all
I say thank God that I was born in England
‘Cos England is the greatest place of all
It’s no use you complaining you weren’t born here
Only the best of us are blessed with such a fate
I know that you will wish that you could be one of us
But it’s no use you complaining – it’s too late
The Northern Irish rule from Stormont castle
And the Scots make their own rule in Holyrood
The Welsh assembly simply doesn’t matter
Whilst the English tell them all what they should do
It must be really dreadful being Irish
I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a Scot
And being Welsh must simply be a fate that’s worse then death
It’s the English that are happy with their lot
The weather north of Carlisle is atrocious
While your welshman settles just for rain or sleet
And the Irish have to settle for the North Atlantic squall
But the climate here in Henley’s best of all
Your Frenchman and your German eat the most peculiar food
Sourkraut and frogs legs make me want to puke
It’s roast beef and Yorkshire pudding that make the English great
So don’t dump foreign muck upon my plate
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“Wimbo” is a c••t.
Don’t care for tennis, not even for the up skirt shots, but “wimbo” is just not cricket.
Why do we let kept wimmin add more of their phrases enter the English language?
“Glasto” was bad enough.
I hope Nicola Sturgeon isn’t too upset and still manages to wank her wee wullie tonight, thinking about a threesome with Andy Murray and his mater.
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Wimbo suffers from the usual middle class English bollocks. It has nothing to do with sport and everything to do with being there and being seen. – Ascot, Henley, Twickenham – you name it . All about a bunch of moneyed cunts being seen and nothing to do with the real fans who actually support the sport. Full of chinless cunts who probably haven’t even paid to be there.
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You can’t buy tickets for a lot of this shit these days as they’re all bought up by the corporate hospitality cunts. Try getting tickets for The Globe Theatre. We used to go regularly when it first opened, now you can’t get tickets as they’ve all been bought up…
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I have thoroughly enjoyed this debate – conducted with civility and humour. No accusations of racism or demands that some people’s opinions should be silenced – unlike some other websites I could mention. Some of you support what I originally wrote and some of you disagree- as would be expected.
My real target was Shakespeare’s fanboys rather than the man himself. I detest how some people think they are better than others because they like Shakespeare or going to the theatre or the opera. I prefer the Musee d’Orsay to the Lourve but I’m not going to big myself up because of a personal preference. The contributor who said he disliked people laughing like drains whilst watching a Shakespeare play had it right. Nothing says “look at me, aren’t I clever?” more than laughing loudly at a 400 year old joke that probably wasn’t funny the first time.
An English teacher I worked with in the early 90’s said Shakespeare was the Benny Hill of his time. He wouldn’t have been the equivalent of a multimillionaire if he didn’t give the plebs what they wanted – that’s why his plays are full of sex and violence. And going to watch a Shakespeare play is no guarantee of enjoyment if the production is shite; back in 2006 I went with a bunch of sixth formers to watch an absolutely terrible version of Romeo and Juliet and the lad sitting next to me fell asleep. Just like I did when my wife (then my girlfriend) made me go to the bastard ballet in St Petersburg.
Norman will support me when I point out that back in the 1980s you were considered a fucking moron if you liked football. But since the Premier League, everyone is a “lifelong fan” of this club or the other. Bollocks. Again, liking football is my personal preference, just as liking Shakespeare or the opera is yours. Neither one makes us a better person. It probably makes us both cunts.
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Like black lives opinions matter!! 😂…..
Albeit an unusual cunting I have enjoyed the posts, as usual ISAC has been both informative and amusing…….
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Like him or not like him, that is a shit question. Anyway.. Waxed Moustache? Seriously. Is that like scotch guarding against cum stains or something?
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Bloody hell, I go without internet for a day and a half and my favourite website goes all highbrow.
My only real experience of Shakespeare was a school trip to see the Polanski film of Macbeth.
Apart from the unexpected appearance of Martin (Professionals) Shaw (minus perm and Ford Capri) the only memories left of it are gallons of blood and a body count to rival WW2.
Including a very young Keith Chegwin getting a big sword through him…
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“minus perm and Ford Capri” – fuck that made me laugh.
Thanks Mr. B.
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I have always prided myself on listening to people’s differing opinions with an open mind but today really tested me.An old schoolmate of my mind met me for a pint or two and told me that Corbyn should be Prime Minister that Brexit was the worst event in British History and will ruin the pound ,that Brexit voters are nearly all racist hypocrites who long for colonialism , that Thatcher should have been assassinated by the IRA and that Thatcher said and I quote “gays are the spawn of the devil” and that he didn`t need to give me evidence of this because his uncle was gay in the 80`s and therefore knows what he is talking about.I consider not knocking the cunts teeth out a huge achievement.Rest assured he is off my Xmas card list and my wedding and funeral invitations.The funeral invitations are posthumous naturally.
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Found that I now very likely will inherit a genetic disease.Sounds worse than it is.Apparently my life expectancy is not reduced at all but my quality of life in my final years will be bleak.On the bright side at least I know not to bother giving up smoking!
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Sorry to hear that mate, fuck all I can say to change it but live well.
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Cheers Sixdog.I am looking for no sympathy.I know several people who have much more serious genetic links to conditions (breast cancer huntingdons ) which puts the prospect of being ill in your 60s onwards into perspective.It is just weird to have a certainty over your fate should you reach old age.
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I say certainty to liberally but the circumstantial evidence is pretty substantial of the condition being hereditory.
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Sorry to hear that, SOTD.
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Cunt BBC
“Rhea is from the Philippines and lived on the 21st floor of the high rise tower, with her friend Helen and her 12-year-old daughter.
But, unlike Helen, 40-year-old Rhea wasn’t a registered tenant, having lost her legal right to remain in the UK in 2012.”
BBC painting this person as a victim not the criminal she is. She isn’t an undocumented anything she’s a fucking illegal immigrant. She shouldn’t of been in the flats or in the country. The place was full of people like her. I wouldn’t wish it ion anyone but if it wasn’t for people like her we wouldn’t need high rise death trap tower blocks to begin with. Do your duty BBC turn her in.
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I can barely bring myself to watch the BBC news or any of their wonky eyed documentaries…. utterly biased Cunts!!!
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Wild boars are defo NOT cunts.
It seems they have landed on certain foreign beaches; oh well, if they scare orf the ham-haters, that’s fine by me !
Awww, go on go on go on Mr. Porky McDanepak, won’t ye just have another slime sandwich, help keep the beaches clean.
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Apparently one was photographed on the street of Gloucester yesterday.
And it was a pig..
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