Lorde [2]

Lorde is a cunt.

Our talentless, keeping-it-real heroine was in New Yoik recently, putting the finishing touches to her latest masterpiece, when who should storm into the recording studio but none other than Bonio and the rest of U2 (are cunts).

Apparently Bonio had booked the place and little Lordy had jumped the queue somewhat.

What makes her a cunt is that:

1. She thinks she’s such hot shit she can pull a stunt like that.
2. She missed a golden opportunity to nut Bonio in the face while calling him a sanctimonious, preachy wanker.

Epic fucking fail all round, I reckon.

Nominated by Kiwi Cunt

I still would though -Shaun

69 thoughts on “Lorde [2]

  1. Who? I honestly have never heard or seen this girl before. This site is certainly educational, I’ve learned of many cunts I never knew existed before.

    • Me neither skidmark.
      I just googled her and apparently her real name is Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor. …what the fuck is that all about!
      I’m with Sean though, I’d definitely give her one!

      • I’d like to give her one of those “accidental” prongs up the arris.

  2. Fuck me, tell me a lord who isn’t a cunt. My favourite was Lord fucking Longford, what a massive cunt he was. Spent all his time skulking round porno shops and wanking over that Hindley bitch. I met him once and shook his hand….I went straight to the bog and scrubbed my hands like fuck. He had an aura around him that said stay the fuck away. Creepy fucking cunt.

    • He did wank over Hindley, until Hindley realised that there was no way he was going to get her out of prison, and told him to fuck off. His biggest offence though, was being Harriet Harman’s uncle.

      • Longford had child molester written all over him. Probably why he championed Hindley. Didn’t know about Harman. Now that is unforgivable. Obviously cuntitude is genetic. Cunt.

      • I met Peter cook in Puerto pollensa Majorca back in the day, fuckin legend!! He tried to score some smoke off my friends, we happily obliged…

      • Harperson’s uncle? I didn’t know that. She kept that quiet, but then who wouldn’t? What a cunt dynasty that is.

  3. I’m scratching my head with this one, not that she’s a Cunt, but who the fuck is she??

  4. Me neither. I take it she has something to do with the entertainment industry? If so..she will be a lib/lefty likely remainer and import a gook type. In which case she must be a cunt.

  5. Never seen her before but yeah if you have a chance kick Bonio right in his plums and don’t take the chance you are a cunt of the highest ilk.

  6. Bono is one of pops biggest ever Cunts!! Although the list is a very long one he is right at the top!!

    • Yea to be that high on the list against that kind of competition just shows what a total bellend he must be.
      Flying around in private jets and helicopters while lecturing the rest of us on giving to the less fortunate.
      Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.

  7. She did “Royals” a few years back. It was quite a big hit around the globe – if you’re into pre-pubescent adenoidal warblings.

    And – surprise, surprise – while being interviewed by Charlie & Louise on the ABBC libtard couch she did say that she was: “Only in it for the art.”

    Few years down the line and she proves herself to be a vacuous shill like the rest of ’em.

    As for Paul David Hewson and David Howell Evans, chuck in Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, and you have a triumvirate of cunts who go by single stage names!

    I wonder what tracks will be on the new U2 album? I suppose one titled: “Hiding under the table.” could be on the cards??

    • Only non-cunt in U2 is the lad on the drums… A pretty decent bloke by most accounts and often calls out Bono when he’s being a cunt…

      • A mate of mine used to teach Larry Mullen Jr’s kid music at school, says he was really down to earth, used to pick his kid up in a battered old Ford Fiesta and didn’t act the Billy Bigbollocks as you’d expect Bonio would.

  8. Never heard of this cunt, Lordy Lorde…. I dare say she’s either a crappy pretentious ‘serious artist’ cunt, like that Alanis minger… Or a ‘pretends to be a serious artist but is a media whore motivated by fame and moolah’ cunt (like Chickboy Gaga and Kunty Perry)… Either way, she’s a cunt and an ugly one at that…

    I know U2 are a band we all know and (don’t) love, but at least they worked to get where they are… Bozo and his paddy pals were playing live in Dublin dives and touring the world when this little Lorde shit wasn’t even a glint in the Kiwi milkman’s eye…. Much as Bozo bugs me, they should have said to this little smear of production line pop,’We are U2! Fuck off, before we flush you down the bog, you little cunt!’

    • Would loved to have seen Lorde try this with the vintage Who line up… Pete would have whacked her with his, guitar, Roger would have punched her out, and Moony would have put a cherry bomb up her cunt and lit it…

      • Better still with Keef Richards. Duran Duran tried to watch Keef in the studio back in the 80s and fucked them off for the fairy, lightweight cunts they are.

      • I don’t tolerate women being punched out by a imagined original lineup of the who I don’t think thats their style anyway but if shes turns out shes a witch I’ll allow it theoretically speaking as god h8s witches.

        Her music is described as dreampop so I guess something like Enigma,Enya or Mazzy Star? but probably worse right? although better then Lily allen then again anything is innit?

  9. Keeping it real, eh?… With that witch like hair and that shifty face, there’s something about Lorde that just screams ‘Yoko’…. If she meets old Macca, he’ll run a fucking mile….

  10. I think the most important question is whether our own Dick Fiddler would give her one.

    We need to be told.

    • If i have a gripe with cunters it’s that ye’s all seem to think that Dick Fiddler has the lowest standards on ISAC.

      I think i have proven time and again that I, me birdman, have lower standards than that picky cunter.
      There have even been a few times that Dick Fiddler himself has knocked me for tarts i would root.

      Move over Dick Fiddler, there’s a dirtier cunter in town.

      • Is there anything on the planet (or any of the others) that fiddler wouldn’t have a debortuous thought about!

        I doubt I’ll ever have a worse thought than the flabbott sweetcorn bumhole thing !! ….Urr…. I wish I hadn’t reminded myself about that!

      • Dick Fiddler doesn’t even have the stomach for Katie Hopkins.

        I AM THE KING OF MINGin.

        If he’d root the Flabbot, he can have his crown back.

      • He should put his money where his mouth is and give her some action.
        She’d probably be grateful.
        You’re definitely a close runner.
        Hopkins, marine la pen … oh I’m starting to feel queezy.
        I’ve had worse but I have alcohol as an excuse!

      • I think I would have a go at Marine Le Pen Deploy, I can imagine her in a basque and suspenders.

      • That’s exactly how i think of her too, Gingers Ballsac.

        Me and her playing “Allo,Allo.

      • -reply to ballsac.

        Yes I would too mate!

        Now anyway.
        I’m very drunk though!

        Can this shit be deleted later? …
        The sun. The beer. …Marine? ..fuck it.

      • Perhaps, but would Lord Longford give you the horn? I think we should be told.

      • No balsac. Surely not.

        Oh birdman!

        Did he really say that he’d go for THAT?!

        Fair play birdman. As I’ve learnt many times …this holiday included, the lower the standards, the more you can get!

        Still … Urrrrrr… dude.

        I’m drunk.
        But THAT drunk?!

      • Yes Deploy, makes my stomach go queasy thinking about the gobshite bint but fair play to birdman to admitting he would root it.

      • Fuck it.

        Now I’m drunk enough to root that too!

        Though she’d better keep her cunt mouth shut though!

      • I’ve always prided myself in seeing the fuckability in most tarts.
        When all my pals were at the local disco, they’d be looking for romance with a tasty bint.
        Me, i would eye all the bints up and by the end of the night, hopefully I’d choose correctly and end up having a great time with a bird that liked to fuck rather than being courted.

        If the tart isn’t that great, well, that’s what nylons are for.

      • I ccantt even type with aotosorkl

        Good hioludayh balls.

        As fit standards.

        What ficghib st

        Oh fuck it v

      • Yes birdman
        If marine turned up now.
        …I’d smash it!

        …Guess I’ll haveto d with man vs food and a guilty food wank later

  11. Given a pushchair and a little beige baby she wouldn’t look out of place on a south London council estate.

  12. I would never call myself a racist, my hatred for certain cunts comes from my hatred for their beliefs , actions, mannerisms, character etc…

    But, but, i do have a problem with curly haired people.
    I know that may be weird, but its just the way my brain is wired.

    If yer a bloke and have curly hair, get the fucker cut.
    The Leo Sayer look is fuckin terrible, and suits no one.
    If yer a tart, like Lorde, get the fucker straightened.

    Some of you may think I’m nuts for this grievance, but think about, anybody wanting to look like a microphone must be a cunt.

    Curly haired cunts are cunts.

    If I’ve offended any curly cunters, tough, cut the fucker off ya wirey cunt.

    Be careful if ye ever meet Leo Sayer.
    I met him once and he punched me in the face.
    What happened was, when we met he said “hi, I’m Leo” and i said I’m Capricorn, and the cunt whacked me.

    • You’d hate my nutsack then!

      Ha ha


      …I think the constant blazing sunshine is turning me into an even bigger cunt than usual!

      • How’s the gambas pil pil ?

        If ye haven’t tried them, ask for boquerones in vinagre.

        That is the thing i miss most since i became a vegetarian.

        I also miss lomo.

      • SORRY, fuckin SORRY.

        Ye make me think of yer frizzy ball sack and all ye can say is SORRY!!!!!!

      • Mate had the pil pil first thing.
        They all said “pil pil for breakfast?!”
        …yes…and a pint please!

        ..my ballsack is actually shaved but I feel cuntish so I thought I’d give you that image.
        …now you got a new one!
        Ha ha.
        Sorry birdman, serves you right mate!

  13. Rat faced minger,
    She thinks she’s a singer,
    But I’ve got fucking news for the tart.
    She sounds so forlorn,
    like a ships foghorn,
    Or a soggy wet dribbling fart.

  14. Never heard of the worthless bitch but she can rot in fucking hell for all I care.

    If I came across her dying, I would go through her pockets.

  15. What I want to know is how come this bitch has been nominated twice when no cunt has ever heard of her? I would like to nominate Mandek Kowalczyk, my postman and well known Polish folk dancer. What a fucking bastard!

    • That’s the point of this website, Freddie. For cunters around the world to get stuck in and not just the endless stream of UK politicians that get nominated.
      Cuntishness is truly global πŸ˜ƒ

    • I’ve never heard of half the cunts nominated on here….doesn’t stop me. I’m as shallow and ignorant as an heir to the British throne,me.

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