Easter (2)

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I would like to get an early cunting in for Easter. It is my contention it’s only kept going by commercial interests. I think most people would be quite happy to ignore the whole stupid fucking thing but the constant messages about celebrating ‘ your Easter’ create a certain pressure to ‘conform’ which the gullible fall for. fuck Easter.

Nominated by richard1.

Easter is on a par with Valentines – utter bullshit! I fucking hate chocolate too!

It is supposed to be the most holy of the Christian “holy-days” and yet if you were to ask kids who we are celebrating they’re just as likely to say Nestlé or Cadbury as they are Jesus.

And how the fuck does the clergy know that Jesus died at Easter? I mean it was 2,000yrs ago?? If he did then he’s the most unlucky cunt in the world, what with his birthday being on Christmas day too!

Nominated by a Rebel without a Cunt!

197 thoughts on “Easter (2)”

  1. Anybody see the fire at a refugee camp in Dunkirk ?

    The cunts were fighting each other and then set fire to the place.

    Even though they behaved like scumbags, the tensions are being blamed on refugees becoming angry at not being able to join their families in the UK.

    So its our fault.

    One cunt interviewed was named Ismael, no surname or nationality, just Ismael.
    He had short back and sides, black cotton bomber jacket (excuse the pun) t-shirt and black skinny jeans.
    He wouldn’t have looked out of place on Geordie Shore.

    The play swings were untouched by the fire, praise be to Allah the Cunt.

    Fuck em, fuck em, fuck em.

  2. The French Government ( and the Germans ) are not making much of anything at th.e moment. They are terrified that recent events will give further support to Marine Le Penn in the upcoming elections. Neither of the events mentioned has received the press it deserved, and any reference to “migrant populations” is being airbrushed over by politico speak ( fucking lies and shite peddaling )

    I hope the fuck that recent events do influence the upcoming election, and I do hope that Marine Le Penn sweeps all the other fake fuckers into the shite bin where all politico’s belong.

  3. In a recent speech ” mama” merkel launched into the recent spate of terrorism and the attacks on women by the peaceful ones, but according to her the problems don’t stem from her decision to let in a million plus virtually unchecked muslims? Oh no!! , apparently her government have been let down by local authorities and the police , she laid the blame of the 2015 cologne New Years sexual assaults, the Xmas market attack firmly at the door of local authorities , this has happened as “they” failed to intergrate the tsunami of peaceful people?? North Rhine – Westphalia have according to merkel “take the blame”!! , well I’m glad she’s cleared that up!, because I’ve always thought these problems we are hearing about all over Europe had something to do with her inviting millions of Muslims to flood into Europe!!!
    What a 24 carat cunt ……

    • Merkel needs an urgent referral to the ” Don” for inclusion on his ” To Do List “this week. Im sure that in his present state of mind he would not mind too much in sending a Tommahawk missile appropriately programmed for Merkels cunt.

      Its a big enough target!

  4. Howard Jacobson cunt. He has just written a book, supposedly a satire on the Trump administration called “Pussy” and has just been on Sky news pushing his very own brand of hate speech “Trump voters were uneducated” “Brexit voters were thick”. Well, you big nosed cunt, if you want to know why people voted for Brexit or Trump just look in the fucking mirror for you are the very exemplar of all things the people voted against in those two historic democratic events. A smarmy fully paid up member of the liberal metropolitan elite whose idea of a of a hard days work is venting your spleen at a word processor because your side lost in a democratic vote and you are too childish to accept it. Cunt!

    • Sky are absolute cunts!!, they continually give a platform for that kind of rubbish!!
      It’s an insidious campaign to try and change the publics perception of everything Brexit…..
      unfortunately it will work to some extent as a lot of the population don’t think further than the next biased negative piece of shite being spoon fed to them by Cunts like sky and the BBC!!

      • Personally, I think the hook nosed Jacobson and his pals are preaching to the choir on this one. Most people had the good sense not to listen to his shit pre Brexit and I think many remainers have now changed their minds when the project fear has turned out to be lies. Still, he has done something positive by writing a book about it, kerching!

      • I have concluded that anyone with a name like Howard Jacobson is in fact a cunt.

  5. The US army are a bunch of useless fucking cunts. Why? Some yank cunt wants to buy my motorbike but is incapable of finding his way to me, a journey of less than 100 miles, and he says he did 30 years in the US army! Fucks sake! If this is the calibre of people the US military produces its little wonder Putin isn’t scared of them. Cunts!

    • North Korea v USA…….remember Vietnam? NK would make Khmer Rouge look like a bunch of pansies…they’re absolutely fucking mental.

      In the news this morning, the American fleet are steaming into the South China Sea.. The Pork Ball Muncher has said that if the Yanks come further, he’ll take out Seoul.
      China has mobilised 150k to the border, Sales of popcorn for the final showdown are massively up and tickets for ringside seats are in very short supply.

      • If you can get fucked over by Vietnamese farmers and towel heads with Stanley knives, I’d suggest they leave the fighting to absolutely anyone else….

      • Whatever Trump will do next, the Russians now know that he is unrealiable and weak and that his word cannot be trusted. At best he is a reluctant puppet so far american military generals like Mathis are massive liars

      • I think you will find the opposite is true. Putin now knows he cant encourage Assad to gas Syrian children without the possibility of a shitstorm. Trump might be a cunt but the Russian Mafia have been given pause for thought.

      • You actually believe that shit, Cuntstable? Until an independent enquiry is held into the alleged gassing it is entirely possible it never took place and was yet another propaganda event staged by the white helmets. And even if it was Assad, the blame must fall squarely on the West and others ( I’m looking at you, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Israel ) for funding and equipping the insurgency in the first place and for ignoring the peace plan brokered in 2012 by the Russians which would have seen Assad removed from power.

        In fact, if you want to go back far enough it was Britain and France who carved up the middle East between them after WW1.

        When are we going to learn? Fucking with the Middle East always has bad results for all concerned. Leave them the fuck alone.

      • Skid. It has been found that the pilot of the Syrian plane dropped a conventional bomb on a warehouse used by ISIS for munitions. It also contained chemicals.

        This is fucking miles away from the initial frenzied hysterical report, that Assad dropped Sarin .

        Turkey provide the original evidence, and they just LOve Assad Don’t they. ?

        Trump fucked up. The Ruskies know that, and he’s held in the same regard as fuckwit Kim

  6. ……………..And that Richard Keys is still a top notch cunt of the first order……………cunt…………….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  7. I’m boycotting religion this Easter as it it’s all bollocks.

    Happy Easter fellow cunters, I’m off for a nice toasted hot plus bun.

  8. A special early easter cunting for Germany’s SDP general secretary katarina bailey, according to this sack of German shite the UK should have another vote after the terms of Brexit are confirmed?, apparently nobody in the UK either public or political class knew what Brexit was about??
    Listen up kraut!! We all knew enough to vote to leave the anti democratic German dominated festering pile of liberal shit you call the EU..
    so go and fuckin do one!! Cunt!!!

    • What a surprise. Another German who doesn’t like the magnificent EU referendum result. Sorry, does it interfere with your latest take-over of Europe?

      Sanctimonious, sausage-eating, sour kraut künt.

    • Why in fuck these people are given a platform to gob off this shite is beyond me. The cunt is a kraut, what decisions we reach, and how we come to that decision has fuck all to do with a bunch of festering fucking toady krauts who are destined to fuck up all of Europe , as they carve out the emerging 4th Reich. Fuck them all!

  9. Germany is welcome to be the major player in the EU, Greece is bankrupt, Portugal, Spain, Italy economic basket cases with massive youth unemployment. If one of these economies fails the Euro and Eurozone are fucked, would be a laugh to give the jocks their frrrreeeedom and watch Wee Jimmy Krankie come crawling back when it all goes tits up.

  10. The Leicester City fans causing trouble ahead of their champions league quarter final are a bunch of moronical, yes moronical cunts.

    This should be a good time, and should be enjoyed by everyone supporting the world famous Foxes.
    Yet, we got the usual idiots trying to recreate the battle of Trafalgar.

    “spanish bastards, gibraltar is ours”

    I could understand it, if it was banter between them and Atletico fans, but against the riot police ?
    Thats fuckin stupid.
    24 hrs before the game, and eight have already been atrested.

    We’re not Millwall or Sevco, so get a grip and COYB.

    Cue new cunting…… 🙂

  11. Another 29 Peaceful people up in court next month charged with child-trafficing,rape and sexual abuse of young girls,some of them under 11 years old. What a novelty. Although they are filth,just how weak and ineffectual must the police and social services be,to let these things happen for so long. Being accused of “Racism” seems to be a bigger consideration than the care and protection of the vulnerable.

    I detest muzzie paedos,but I find the craven cowardness displayed by the “Authorities” to be equally repulsive. They should be charged with Aiding and Abetting.

    • Quite agree. It seems all authorities bury their head in their hands when it comes to dealing with camel cunts. This must stop!. The fact that these cunts are allowed to form ghettos and hide within their community disgusts me, and the fact that they have infiltrated every level of authority, including Social Services is a fucking disgrace. No Muslim will grass on another.
      It is a disgrace that these cunts were ever allowed into the country, and the political class are the bastards who waved the twats in.

    • These anti-british judges who give lenient sentences piss me off even more. If I was judge I would have these scumbags fingernails ripped off with plyers there time in prison would be a living hell…. depending of the severity of the crime of course. But even worse then the judges are the brainless open border pro rapeugee pro-islam politicians like May, Corbyn, Flabbott, Blair, Wee krankie

      No pity for whores tho, Poland is the most Christian, conservative and anti-multiculturalist country in Europe, and this dumb slag bitch goes to London and all the sudden she’s not only screwing the kebab shop worker but blowing his Paki friend on the side. absolutely disgusting cunt hope you enjoyed clingwrap death you whore! http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/obsessed-ex-boyfriend-murdered-young-10178907

      • One day, our political class will be called to account for all of the shite, that has been rammed down our throats ( without our consent ) and there will be a day of reckoning. It will of course be far too late by that time, but I would like to think that some angry whiteman will get the chance to rip the balls off all surviving fucking politicians, and thrust them deeply up their arseholes. Cunts

      • Can we start a competition to devise the most painful and appropriate punishment for politicians and other festering cunts?

      • Red-hot pokers up arses, red-hot knitting needles in ears, acid in ears, suffocation by The Flabbott face-sitting, broken snooker cues rammed up snout into brain (what brain ?, I hear you ask), boiling Nitromors up arse…

        Am now working on Bliar, Camp-bell-end and Mandelbumfiddler…

      • Fuckin hell that girls got a head the size of a pumpkin!!!
        He must have needed at least 2 rolls of cling film for that alone….

    • It’s a good job you mentioned that Dick because – courtesy of the mainstream media – the rest of us would never have known.

      Had they not been “peaceful” types then it would have been news for weeks! Anyone remember the Redcar/Cleveland child abuse scandal? That was the top story on most channels for over a month!

      This and the Redcar case are deplorable and despicable but it would seem – in the eyes of the press – some are less deplorable and despicable than others.

      Especially if perpetrated by “peaceful” cunts!

      I neither know nor understand why the authorities and press pussyfoot around these “peaceful” cunts? There’s no advantage to it.

      Like I say, sucking up to and appeasing these cunts will not protect them from the cunt’s wrath, it’s merely a stay of execution – literally!

  12. Fuck Easter, fuck the rabbit and fuck Jesus.
    Fuck all holiday celebrations based or revolved on money, gifts, food and special items required for the special day .
    All they give me is extra work , and an opportunity to family cunts to get the drop on you and bore or fuckin nag you to death.

    I only wish Jesus was still alive to have to endure this shite like all of us do.

    • If Mohammed were alive today, he would probably fuck the rabbit, then the goat , then the….

    • That’s a little harsh don’t you think? Let’s not forget that the Son of God threw the moneylenders out of the temple. On the other hand, if he were around today, a fat brown envelope, free access to choirboys and a seat in the Lords would shut the cunt up. Hallelujah to the Lord Jesus!

    • As J R Cuntley pointed out YESTERDAY, easter is zombie worship.
      Maybe Shaun Of The Dead 69 has his hands full.

    • That’s only because there are no new cunts offered up. It’s like being stuck with the last girl on the dancefloor at the end of the night. That’s how Maggie met Dennis, Hilary met Bill and Flabbott got off with Jezzer. Never a good idea. Best to fuck off home and jerk yourself off. There’ll be better days.

  14. I shat in the hole on the fourth green of the local golf course while walking home one night after supping a belly-full of Dog’s Snout…a lethal mix of Guinness and Gin. I wouldn’t recommend either experience to fellow Cunters.

    • Guinness and gin?! yuck sounds like a nasty combination M8 I dunno maybe it tastes good tho Haven’t tried a whole lot gin cocktails I had a salty dog once, 4 parts grapefruit 2 parts gin mix w/ ice in a sea salt rimmed glass. It was bretty gud actually

      I’m actually thinking of buying some gin soon because I’ve never had a martini before (weird I know) and now that Trump is starting 3 different wars at the same time I can’t think of a better time to pick some up. I’ve don’t know what brand to pick up tho I was thinking gibsons or beefeater but I’m not sure I’m not well experienced with gins… Any suggestions punters?

      • Bombay Sapphire is a good gin,T.S.,but DONT under any circumstances mix it with Guinness ( Three measures of gin to every half-pint of Guinness) to make a Dog’s Snout. It tastes ok at the time,but the effect it had on me was appalling… what I took to be witty banter was,apparently, more like Chubby Brown at a Tourettes sufferer’s stag party. I lost all sense of decorum,inhibitions and, by the time I got home, underwear.

      • Bombay saphire is good but overpriced. Tanquari is just as good as is plymouth. I like a dirty martini with a shot of olive juice.

      • “Bombay saphire is good but overpriced” I’ve noticed that I don’t mind paying a bit extra but I might just get whatevers discounted or promoted Yeah a dirty martini sounds good got a few bottles of olives in the fridge just need the dry vermouth and gin.

        Also have a bottle of dubonnet handy (love that stuff) to make a nice dubonnet/gin cocktail also known as the queen mother thanks 4 the suggestions M8s funny story DK hope you found your underwear …

    • The fourth hole on my local course is my nemesis. A 198 yard par 3 over 170 yards of water.

      So last week as I addressed the ball on the tee, I looked skyward and said “God, if you do exist, let this one fly and land a foot from the hole.”

      Suddenly a voice bellowed from the sky and said “Use a new ball, they go further”.

      So I put a new ball on the tee.

      As I get ready to hit it the voice appears again and says “Take a couple of practice swings.”

      So I take a few practice swings and as I walk to ball, the voice bellows from the sky once again and says “Use the old ball”…

      • Then when you finally holed the ball you found the cup full,of Guinness smelling shit.

      • Sainsbury’s Blackfriars gin also well worth a try – made by Greenall’s, I believe.

        My slight worry, with all these bloody expensive “craft” versions turning up, can we still stick tonic water or ginger beer in ??

        I tried getting a pink gin a year or two back, the toddler behind the bar didn’t know what Angostura was…

        After all the explaining, I needed several large ones…

  15. Is this the best Easter joke ever:-

    Jesus is on the cross, and he sees Peter in the distance, crying. “Peter, come to me!”
    As Peter proceeds, a big Roman guard with a menacing sword steps in front of him, and slices off Peter’s right arm.

    “Peter, come to me!” says Jesus again, so Peter continues on his path to his saviour. Peter steps forward but the Roman soldier cuts off his left arm.

    “Peter, come to me!” Jesus urges.
    His body dripping with blood, his former shoulder squirting red from the wound, Peter steps forward but the Roman soldier steps forward and brutally stabs him in the stomach.
    “Peter, my son, come to me!” Jesus gasps, breathlessly. Beginning to feel faint, Peter rolls toward his Lord, finally using his mouth to bite the grass in front of him and continue dragging himself towards the son of God.

    Finally, Peter reaches his destination. “Yes my Lord, what do you request from me?”

    “Peter… ” says Christ, “Peter… I can see your house from here.”

    • Nice one Captain.

      I heard it with the punchline where Jesus says to Peter,
      “Save me an egg, I’ll be back on Monday”….

  16. Or is it this one:-

    Q.) Why can’t Jesus eat Easter Eggs?

    A.) Because he’s not real.

  18. …. can I throw in a ‘drive past’ Cunting to Pauline Cafferkey, the Glaswegian nurse with the Ebola virus. The Cunt is heading back to Sierra Leone to try and raise a bit of cash out there to help some local charities ….
    The Cunt was on the radio today , bumbling on about how she is feeling health wise, hoping she will be fit to travel, and hopefully be able to do her bit for the people of Sierra Leone.
    How about she raises some money in THIS FUCKING COUNTRY for the cost she has caused the NH fucking S !!!! It must have run into zillions of fucking pounds to look after her and ship her around in her fucking bubble, being treated by the UK’s finest and not forgetting the fact that she could have caused a major fucking epidemic in the UK … …. Now that does boil my piss !!

    • Now that’s a cunting, Boilsmypiss.

      That cunt endangered all our lives.
      She should be locked up for attempted mass murder, seeing as she knew she had it but travelled home by air anyway.

      After she’s completed her sentence, and is released, some hero should slit the evil bitches throat with a big fuck off knife.

      Or let her go to Sierra Leone and get Gilbert Graped by a machete.

      This cunt should have bagged herself a COTY for willingly putting us all in danger.

      Did the radio pull her up for being a cunt ?
      Or did they make her a hero ?

      • … In (semi) fairness to the interviewer, she did pussy foot around the issue of PC’s health, never saying how brave she was … alot of the conversation was by PC on how PC was feeling at the moment, health wise … however, I did feel the interviewer was holding back on … ‘Don’t you feel you are being an utter, utter Cunt … you were so close to popping your cloggs the last time … haven’t you learned your fucking lesson to stay out of that shit hole ?’ … but you just know that question would have been wasted.

      • Yea total cunt!

        Typical racist libtard!

        Fine to pass deadly diseases on to white people as long as she can cure some blacks in the process!

  19. Sod raising money for the poor of Sierra Leone, that’s what the foreign aid budget is for, minus the fuckwit celebs guilt tripping with appeals. Dortmund players are cunts too, wearing t-shirts with their team mates face on it ,who wait for it……had some cuts and a broken bone in his hand.

    • They must be grieve stricken!!
      I’m surprised they haven’t decided to hold a candlelit vigil to remember all the people that were hurt?? Maybe have a minutes silence before the game to remember all the suffering?? How about a memorial stone outside the ground??
      Given time maybe it will be mentioned in the same breath as the Munich?? The Dortmund bus fiasco!! Cunts……

  20. This pathetic attention seeking selfish bitch deserves a cunting all on her own. It’s a shame I can’t be arsed to do it myself but one of you lazy fuckers needs to step up to the plate. Hey…we’re a community aren’t we?

  21. Good news for those cunts, Manchester City, this morning….
    Striker, Jesus has returned to training….

    (checks calendar)
    A fucking miracle….

  22. Charlton Athletic are not cunts…. Their simple but respectful tribute to the late PC Keith Palmer was both right and fitting… Paying their respects to a lifelong Addicks supporter, without all the usual griefjacking, bells and whistles, and mawkish Scouse-like self pity…. Also met some top Charlton fans when United played them in the Cup in 94 (Schmichel got sent off… The cunt)… Another plus point is their undying hatred of the diabolical Crystal Palace…

  24. Good morning everyone…… Hmmm I see we are on day 3 of cunting Easter.

    I see Pauline Cafferey is up to her fucking attention seeking shite again, as pointed out in boilmypiss’s well deserved rant.
    This stupid cunt cost the nation tens of millions because of her fucking crass stupidity and her reckless behaviour in falsifying her medical record upon re-entry to the UK.

    These fucking idiots who fuck off to shite ridden countries to” do their bit” should all be detained in isolation offshore upon return.( I strongly suggest somewhere like Ascension Island ) And they should be irradiated with Radio Active Iodine for good measure. Any surviving flesh can be bottled and stored in Lily Allens Bathroom. The green glow will provide adequate and subtle light to enhance Lily’s ablutions.

    Cafferey is a cunt, a stupid cunt, and we are all fucking cunts for letting cunts like this put all of our lives in danger, and we are monstrous cunts for our adulation of specimens of shite like her.

  26. Once a cunt, always a cunt…. I refer to Dog/Skeletor/Yoko/Posh Spice…

    Fashion designer?! Please pick me up off the fucking floor… There’s that for a start…
    But trademarking your kid’s name, that sounds like a toilet cleaner?! And also trademarking the other three little cunts at the same time?… Irritating as they all are, I’m sure it’s reassuring for the Beckham brats to know that they are all ‘brand names’ as opposed to human beings (albeit little cunts of human beings, of course)… I suspect the horrible tart is going to put a load of crap on the market… A sort of inferior and tacky version of Paul Newman’s salad dressing…. Brooklyn’s Baked Beans?…. Cruz Crisps?….Harper Six (or is it seven?) Sink Unblocker?…. Fucking hell… She’s like a female Fagin… ‘Make me money, my dears…’

    ‘Posh’ (again,more image bullshit) is an even bigger cunt than I thought…
    And I thought she was one of the biggest cunts on the planet to begin with…

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39586481/victoria-beckham-trademarks-her-daughter-harpers-name-in-britain-and-europe

    • Nice cunting and well deserved Norman!
      The fucking anorexia tribe are hawking their wares again and as you rightly point out , they’ve got the little runts potted and in grow bags ready to flourish.
      The cunt I hate the most is that skeletal VB, y’know, the xylophone ribbed bitch that married that useless squeaky cunt DB. Posh, Christ! She’s as common as the shit on a ragheads cock.
      It must be a fucking morbidly slow news day for those cunts to feature.
      Any updates on “Mines bigger than Yours!” ( Trump v Putin ) would be most welcome.

    • their next kid’s name will be “Aytill”… ‘coz the slag-mother gets knocked up in an “Eight til late”, bent over the frozen fish…

      More kunts that should just FO&D.

      I wonder if a well-known glossy magazine will take legal action…

  27. Easters been an absolute goldmine! It’s the thread that just keeps giving!! Can’t wait for that other commercial wankathon Xmas!! ” jingle bells jingle bells” FUCK OFF!!
    😂

    • Oh fuck…..you mentioned Xmas…. Cunt!

      Once easter is over and the eggs gone, we bring out the fucking xmas stuff in the shops….ohh fuck… Quislings….does that mean this thread is a perpetual continuum?

      • And all the old British traditions are gone because of greed… First they fucked the licensing laws: which killed off pubs and alehouses by the score and spread pissed up chavs in back gardens like a disease… Then half day Wednesdays went, now every fucker is open on Sunday (my local Spar and Co-Op are open Easter Sunday!)… Next thing to go will be Christmas Day closing. and then there’ll be nothing… Bank holidays will be abolished permanently (except w@g ones, of course) and one can imagine some poor cunt working a shop on Easter Sunday or Christmas… Some Little Hitler will be strutting around, barking that this ‘target’ or that ‘total’ needs to be reached that day, yet there is no fucker out on the streets…

      • We’ve got a little breathing space before the big push for Xmas!!, the next heist is 18th june( Father’s Day) a tsunami of advertising to remind us Cunts to open our wallets!, with begging season in full swing on TV it’s one relief appeal after another , before you know it your have little cunts banging on your door screeching ” trick or treat?” Not forgetting November the 5th!! As the last fireworks lit Tesco, Sainsbury’s and every other bastard will start the gruelling relentless march towards Xmas!! , and just when you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse a week later your hit by an avalanche of fake Bon ami and Scottish TV on New Year’s Eve!!, without doubt my least favourite night of the year!! Shoe horned into your local where the landlord shows the real spirit of the evening by asking you for an entrance fee, keen to join in this night of celebration the taxis double their rates!
        Easter is undoubtedly a cunt but Xmas is the daddy!!

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