Lloyds Bank

Lloyds Bank are taking the piss.

I bank with the cunts and I’ve mentioned before they are being cunts offering us 0.05% on a savings account. They have now shown their true colours, after being bailed out by us the people through the Government, they’ve now announced profits of 4.24 BILLION.
I wonder if they will pay us back (via the Government) even a little of the money?

Nah thought not. I’m sure no one will even bother asking.

Another example of the government with its banker ‘friends’ fucking over the people.

I was thinking of robbing one of their branches to get some money for the people, but all the cunts are shut down. It’s expensive having a branch open you know, we wouldn’t want that getting in the way of their 4.24 BILLION! profit, would we?

Fucking wanker Banker government cunts.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

68 thoughts on “Lloyds Bank

  1. Fucking greedy banks screw the customer gambling with our money on get rich quick trading or lending money to CUNTS who couldn’t or wouldn’t ever pay back there debts then when the shit hit the fan the government bailed the fuckers out whilst leaving small companies to slowly die of no investment or high interest rates caused by those same banks. Maybe all the individual taxpayers of the uk will get a dividend of that PROFIT works out at £141 if shared out equally between us. Especially as we weren’t asked if we wanted to put our money in . Mind you the government never ask what’s the right thing to spend our money on a current example the EXTRA £ 200,000,000 being sent to the so called crisis in Sudan etc wonder where that’s been hiding over this winter whilst the NHS is melting under the strain. Government,Banks and aid agencies all come under the universal banner of CUNTS who act like the massive oirish cunt geldorf with a communal cry of ” give us ya money”

    • as they used to say
      you owe the bank 100,000 – you’ve got a problem
      you owe the bank a 100,000,000 – they’ve got a problem

    • I have 3 accounts with lloyds, my day to day, a “savings” and an isa thing, the money in the last two are the crumbs from my divorce and far out weight my day to day account and I genuinely question the charge for an agreed £700 overdraft in relation to lets say an undisclosed figure in other accounts.

  2. As somebody,can’t remember who, once said…..small time criminals rob banks, big time criminals own them.

  3. Interest rates have always pissed me off. It’s accepted that the rates for savers is a bit below the base rate and for borrowers a bit above the base rate but 0.05% on a base rate of 0.5% is terrible.

    Remember Leeds liquid gold with 9.75% for larger savers? Them were the days. Pity people were being fucked over with mortgages at that time.

    Interest on a car loan might be 3%, 7% or more. Interest on credit cards and other unsecured loans 10%, 29% or more. Banks are legalised, thieving cunts to a man.

  4. My uncle, a war veteran, lost his entire pension after a financial firm went bust. 40 years of work, including fighting for his country and losing his hearing for the cause. And it’s all taken away because some rich cunt gambled it on the wrong horse. Yeah, that seems totally fair.

    The fucking annoying thing is I HAVE to insure my car in case I have an accident I can’t afford to pay for.

    I HAVE to insure my business in case I damage someone’s property whilst working on it.

    Why does the individual have to take every possible precaution while massive institutions are given carte Blanche to do whatever the fuck they want.


  5. Just heard on the radio that RSB (bailed out and still 70 per cent owned by the taxpayer) have lost money for 9th fucking year on the trot. Fuck a duck! How does a bank, a FUCKING BANK, manage to lose money? Who the fuck is running this shambles…..Joey fucking Essex?

    • Not only did they make a loss, they managed to lose £7 bn!! £5 bn more than they did last year! How the fuck do you lose that amount of money? A great advert for Scottish business acumen.

    • Joey Essex might actually make a profit for them. He could hardly do worse than the cunt who’s in charge now.

      • …and let’s not forget whose fucking money they are losing here. The cunts don’t have any money of their own, it’s all OUR FUCKING MONEY!!! CUNTS!!!!!

      • RBS are fucking crooks. Fred the shred was/is a fucking crook. They should be in jail for misleading their shareholders and the stock market for starters. Fucking criminal act right there. The fucking cunts have a cheek penalising people on a daily basis for going a few quid over ‘their agreed limit’ when they themselves are 7 fucking billion in the red. 7 fucking billion. Thats £7 000 000 000 over their limit. Fucking thieving scumbag crooks.

  6. 0.05%? That’s worse than shite. It’s way beyond taking the piss. I would advise you to change banks, but I doubt you’ll find one that’s any less shit. Banks don’t give a fuck about ordinary customers anymore. They only care about the millionaires.

  7. Since we’re on the subject of shite institutions, I’m nominating the Royal Mail. Like a lot of the country, my part of England endured the kind of downpour that would have worried Noah. We currently have a new postie who, like a number of his predecessors, is a complete fuckwit of a cock womble. Even when it rains, this brain donor carries the post for the next few houses in his hand, instead of his bag like he’s supposed to.

    Unlike us non-retards, there are a number of posties who seem oblivious to the fact that letters, which are generally made of paper, do not respond well to getting soaked. Yesterday, I received an A4 sized envelope which contained copies of my pension statements and details, which I’d had to send to the British Legion for a matter they’re helping me with. The envelope was so wet, it had disintegrated before the dumb shit had even brought it anywhere my house.

    Consequently, a lot of personal info such as my NI number, bank details, pension details, full name, date of birth and even my Army service number became available to the postie. Now I’m not accusing him of stealing my identity or anything like that. However, it needed to be signed for and nobody was home at the time he tried to deliver it, which means it spent the night at the local sorting office, where EVERY Royal Mail employee who worked there had open access to it.

    So this morning, after picking up my soggy mass of papier mache, I made a call to the main office in Manchester and got through to the lovely Charmain, who made it clear that she could not have given less of a fuck. After struggling to keep my calm, and threatening to make a personal appearance, I was put through to a manager, who turned out to be only marginally more intelligent than Charmain. Nice bloke though, I’ll give him that. He wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted apparently, and seemed surprised when I told him that I wanted the offending postie spoken to and reprimanded for not doing his fucking job properly.

    He said that he’d look into it, but somehow I’m not convinced that will happen. How is possible that a supposed adult could not summon the wit to put the mail he was responsible for, into his fucking post bag, to stop it getting wet? So, Royal Mail, what a bunch of cunts.

    • Royal Mail are definitely useless cunts, who happened to getting the mail in the morning? It’s really useful getting letters at 2pm, so if you are at work you get to respond to your mail a day late. We now have some other cunts delivering letters forgot their names but they are fucking cunts as well.

      • The half-wits near me seem to be wearing shorts all year round for some strange reason. Middle of January, freezing cold, pouring with rain… There they are busy delivering the junk mail and bills dressed for a day on the beach. FFS.

      • If they gave the thick-as-a-Boxing-Day-turd postie a proper bollocking, he would, no doubt, just run off wailing about workplace bullying, abuse etc.
        Next stop, his gormless features gracing that shit “madeuthink” column in the poxy Daily Mirror (edited by some posh lass with a double barrelled surname).
        From my own experience, all I can say is that printing “Please do not bend” on an envelope is, apparently, an utterly futile act.
        Sloppy slack-jawed cunts.

    • Used to work in the main Royal Mail sorting office in Mcr many years ago… But that was the old days: when my old man could read his mail at 8am before he went to work, and lazy cunts who amble up to your door at 3pm, with mail in various states of mess, didn’t exist… Former workmates who are (just about) still there now say the whole thing has gone to fuck… Instead of just doing a decent days work, Little Hitlers now strut around the depot shouting to sorters about ‘hitting targets’ and all that other ‘FYI, drop the ball, run with it’ corporate bollocks-speak… Also at the Xmas rush they only recruit muslamists, pakis, and iron curtain white w@gs now… Don’t know if the Royal Mail is being PC and ‘diverse’, or if they just pay the foreign wallahs less dough… The old ‘neighbourhood postie’ has now also gone… We had one for years in the 70s and 80s… Top bloke, he was, and everyone liked him…Now (as QDM points out) it’s just ‘can’t be arsed’ mumbling knoheads who can’t even be friendly or deliver a fucking letter properly… Cunts..

  8. It isn’t just Lloyds, although they are particularly shite, it is the system of fractional reserve banking and fiat currencies which are to blame. It’s a castle built on sand which will eventually fall. 2008 was only a taste of what’s to come.

    Also the petro dollar, which was responsible for the war in Iraq and Libya and the antagonism of the west towards Russia.

    Because oil is priced in USD and every transaction in USD has to go through a US bank which charges for the privilege, the US gets a cut of every oil deal ever done. When you fill up your car, some of that money is going to the USA, regardless of where the oil came from.

    Saddam Hussein wanted to sell Iraqs oil in Euros instead of USD. Gaddafi wanted to create a gold backed currency for Libya’s oil trade. We all know what happened to them. Russia sells it’s oil to China in Rubles, the Yanks don’t like it and that may very well lead to WW3.

  9. Leicester’s decision to sack Claudio Ranieri nine months after winning the Premier League made former Foxes striker Gary Lineker “shed a tear”…

    “I shed a tear last night for Claudio, for football and for my club….”

    What? Only one tear?… And the same Claudio Ranieri you didn’t want to get the job in the first place?… And as for ‘my club’?… The same club you fucked off from to get a big money move to then league champions, Everton (who you then shafted to join Barcelona after one season at Goodison)?… Spare us the bullshit, yer fucking cunt…

    • I thought for many years now the games gone mad and this confirms it. Same with Swansea and Gary Monk who I thought was a solid long term manager for them, these business cunts who own Clubs do not give a fuck about the club or fans. As fans we need to fucking boycott games and then they’ll take notice when it hits them in the pocket. Problem is though there is no shortage of cunts who will go to games and replace the fans boycotting the games. It’s a no win. If FSG don’t give Klopp £150-200 million in the summer they can fuck off.

    • Gary Linekar shed a tear.

      I took a sickie, and at the time of typing, 16:12, i’m still sat here in my pyjamas.
      Absolutely gutted.
      I thought i was a hard hearted cunt.
      The strange thing is, even though I’m an insomniac, i curled up in a ball last night and got a full nights sleep. The first in about months.
      I hope that’s not a sign of depression 🙂

      Good on José Mourinho for wearing CR on his shirt and saying the King Power should be named after him.

      Right, shower time.

      • John Carver’s just been sacked from some tinpot club,he might take the job,he did announce,while in the process of getting Newcastle relegated,that he was the greatest coach in the world…

      • Did ye hear about Sunderland moving to London ?

        They want to attract players and feel that some wont come to the north east.
        So the solution, move the training facilities to London and travel up to Sunderland for match day.

        Ye couldn’t mackem it up.

      • To be fair, Birdman, Sunderland really is a chav-infested,scummy shithole. I wouldn’t want to spend any more time there than necessary.

    • Actually fascinating that she got so much time usually these whore teachers get a slap on the wrist especially if female. I guess if she has good behavior she could get a reduced sentence

      • Was she that eager to suck a 13 yr olds 4 inch cock? I’m sure Mr.fiddler could of helped her out…

    • 10 years? shame,she’ll be an old bag by the time she gets out. Wonder if she’d care to make a nice lesbian prison gangbang video before she gets too old… I’d like that.

    • “The lucky lucky fucking cunt”

      Nah, the lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky fucking cunt.

      I know there’s double standards, and if a male teacher done that to a young girl, I’d be the first in line to pop off some toes with some pliers.
      But the difference is, a boy needs a hard on to root, so its not exactly the same, imo.

      Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky fuckin lucky lucky lucky cunt.

      I was a milk boy from 14 to 16, and i was always hoping some milf had to pay her bill with some naughtiness.

  10. Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha needs an uber cunting for treating Claudio Ranieri so appalingly. The man worked fucking miracles last season and now, probably because he kept faith with a bunch of lazy cunts who appear to think that winning the title last season means they are invulnerable this season, he’s out of a job…

    Well, all I can say is that the Thai cunts in charge at Leicester deserve Alan Pardew and relegation. That’s what such a disgusting show of disloyalty to a man too dignified to slag them off ought to get them!! CUNTS!!

    • Fucking disgrace what they’ve done at Leicester. Unbelievable. It goes to show the game (at then top level) in this country has lost the fucking plot. The Premier League is overrated anyways, yes we have some world class players but the defending is poor and any decent English player who can play with both feet is worth £30 million. What a piece of cunt.

      • Top flight Football is morally bankrupt, financially incompetent and populated – players, managers and owners, who are the most repugnant mercenary wretches on earth.
        And we can probably blame Sky for the state it is in.

    • Ranieri worked a miracle and that will always be his legacy. But what were the board supposed to do this year? They were sleepwalking towards relegation. Short of sacking the players, I really don’t think they had an option.

  11. Lloyds are complete cunts. When I was a younger man I was earning some good money and consequently always had surplus cash despite a fair amount of investments. Lloyds were all over me like a cheap suit to take out policies with them, and I was constantly telephoned and written to. Fast forward 15 years and a change of circumstances not of my making I recently asked for for a £50 extension to my overdraft so that my mortgage wouldn’t bounce. They told me sorry, but fuck off basically. £50.

    • That’s the banking paradox; they want to be your best mate when you have cash and don’t need them but when you are skint and do need them they mug you off like a right cunt.

    • Back in the mid nineties I was unemployed; went into Lloyds for the annual check up, still in the black: they said they could arrange me a mortgage. I said no thanks and left sharpish but how many simple souls did follow that advice on the ground the ‘ bank manager ‘ (salesman) said they could ? In the Barnstaple branch the dumb fucks even left a wipe board on view showing the staff ratings for the week, for each mortgage/pension. ISA whatever they managed to flog.

    • I went into my bank recently to find out why they had applied some charges to my account when I hadn’t been overdrawn,not for years. I waited 20 minutes at the enquiry desk before any cunt acknowledged my existence then was asked if I had checked on-line ,as if I was inconveniencing the cunts. No apology either. I have had that account for 30 years so naively expected a bit of politeness. They seem very keen on helping students to rack up £30 or £40k of debt though as they imagine these cunts will be loaded in the future.

  12. I have most of my savings in a building society. I only bothered opening the shit 0.05% account with Lloyds as it was offered through the Internet Banking app. I bank with RBS as well (so I seem to bank with cunt banks) point is they are all cunts with many unethical practices and investments around the world. I’m in my late thirties and fuck the pensions and other investment ‘opportunities’, I’ve invested and will continue to in property. It’s the only safe bet, whatever happens with the economy etc cunts will always want somewhere to live and with all the cunts coming here there is no shortage of potential tenants.

    • Or a group of worthless keyboard bashing, dosh juggling financial terrorist cunts, useless office boy bastards who think they`ve been crapped out of God`s arse because they throw non existent billions around and collar some fucking bonus for doing so. Lazy, arrogant pricks, good for nothing parasites who whined for government to protect their careers and bonuses when they fucked it all up in the Great Tits Up of `08.

      And they will fuck it up again and the useless Quisling politicians will allow them their soft regulatory regime and low tax pampering while us Joe Cunts take it up the arse with austerity.

      ” Shun the suit wearer, the desk dweller, the office noddy, for he is the harbinger of recession “.

  13. Lloyds and all their suscideries, black horse [pony], credit cards, ppi, car insurance, fucking house insurance, mortgages, savings, pensions and I’m sure many more scams on top of scams, they are absolute cunts and absolutely incompetent, how can a bank/company that are so useless make a profit without ripping people off? answer is they fucking rip people off, they ripped me off for years the cunts, I avoid dealing with them on any level now cuz I know from my own skint for years bitter experience the they are utter CCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNTTTSSSSS, all banks are wankers but none even in the same ball park as these thieves and morons……..that’s how they make their millions

  14. Why aren’t the female sisters of the world backing Le Pen to become France’s first milf , sorry, female president ?

    Like her or not, Marine Le Milf is more open and honest about her politics than Killary.

    So, how about it, Vanessa Paradis, shouldn’t you be getting Madonna, Katy Perry, Miley, Lady Gay Gay etc, to show some feminine support ?

  15. One excellent way to get back at arsehole banks is to build up a nice portfolio orf debt with the precise intention orf going bankrupt. You pay for that eventuality anyway through interest and other charges. Cash in I council. Doubtless Dioclese can advise.

    • I was accused of Fraudulent Bookkeeping/ False accounting by Lloyds…a cynical man might have said they had a point. Luckily I had a good (Jewish) accountant who managed to persuade the Powers-that-Be that it was a vile slur.

  16. just had my house insurance renewal. i WAS with Lloyds. they wanted £139, up about £30. phoned SAGA got it for £84. they are pretty good, Saga. no multiple options when you phone, you get straight through to a human, a human in the UK too..

  17. Bankers are cunts as are footballers. I’m glad I’ve got fuck all money because it turns you into a cunt by default. While I’m at it can I congratulate UKIP. Congratulate them on a mammoth fuck up of the Stoke by election. That seat was theirs for the taking but they fucked up big time by letting the baldy scouse lying fuckwit run for the seat. The people of Stoke were NEVER gonna vote any cunt from Liverpool. Surely they could have found a local credible candidate from the immediate area. But No, the thick cunt then proceeds to try to fool the voters into thinking that they could gain something by having him represent them in parliament. The only winner in that parnership would have been Nutsfuckall. He should put all his gear in his Netto carrier bag and fuck off back to red shite land pronto where he should then resign forthwith. It now looks like the party is dead in the water unless something derails Brexit or they start to formulate some kind of comprehensive plan to offer the electorate. Even tho Labour won with their no mark offering it was a very poor result for them. They are fooked. Still at least the fittest candidate won in Copeland.

    • It would have helped the scouse cunt if he had taken the fucking trouble to have a shave and wear a suit, scruffy fucker, and took off that silly fucking hat

      • How the fuck could they have picked a scouse leader? Every fucker knows everybody hates scouse cunts.

        Did I just do a racism?

      • Scouse scum do pull the ‘racism’ card nowadays… Along with the ‘always the victims’ ‘it wasn’t us’ ‘griefjacking’ and ‘justice’ cards they’ve used for decades…

        But the vermin hate it when it’s pointed out to them that Scouse excrement are not an actual race….

  18. Banks are cunts, I have had the same current account for 30 years or so, never gone over drawn, bounced a cheque or had any issues.

    Well, I did have, but they decided to “upgrade me” to current account plus, which means I have travel insurance (which I don’t need) , on-line fraud protection (which I don’t need) and some other piece of crap, that I forget what it was, but I don’t need. They now charge me £10 a month.

    Cancelled the fucker yesterday. Cunts

  19. I don’t know why the Yanks are locking up this nonce bird and spending all those tax dollars. If they bunged her my way she’d get some serious fucking punishment…..trust me.

    • I’ll take charge of the prisoner at the weekends and any other time ye need a break, Freddie The Frog.
      Daily searches for contraband with that one.

      Lucky little cunt.
      What a babe, what a babe

  20. Quick nomination for SNP MP Alison Thewliss

    “SNP MP Alison Thewliss wants all football clubs in Scotland to declare their stadiums breastfeeding-friendly.
    The Motherwell-supporting MP has written to all 42 league clubs, encouraging them to follow the example of Ayr United.
    Breastfeeding in public places has been a legally protected right in Scotland since 2005.
    But Ms Thewliss said a declaration by the clubs would break the taboo and let people know breastfeeding was normal.”

    Because there are a massive amount of women who want to go and watch a game of shite football with a baby hanging of their tit. You fucked up waste of space, this is a pressing issue is it?

    Fuck off, just fuck off.

    • D’ye want a pie and Bovril at half time ?

      Nah, shlurp, shlurp, I’m alright, shlurp, shlurp,burrrpp, here with, shlurp the missus,shlurp, shlurp.

      All ye’d here the whole game is,

      Get yer tits out, get yer tits out, get yer tits out for the boys,
      Ge-et yer tits out for the boys

      I’m all for it, it would brighten up a 0-0 draw.

  21. Oh yeah, I’m a mother, nobody has ever been a mother before so they don’t know how important I am. If I get my tits out in public somebody might give me some attention. Oh, I’m a poof who loves cock in my mouth and up my shitbox. If I prance about like a fairy people will notice me which is all I care about. Oh… I used to be a vegan but everybody thought I was a wanker so I decided to become a trans-gender. Where are the neutral toilets that’s what I want to know! How come nobody recognises how important I am? It’s just typical of the sexist, racist, stinking fascist society we live in. I have thought about topping myself but there are too many people who depend on me and recognise my essential greatness and sense of humanity. No need to praise me……just send some money to …garylinekerluvtheworldnotmepaying.com

  22. i had my account terminated on the spot for telling a lloyds bank teller to fuck off.
    Wrote me a cheque for the money in my account and asked me to leave.
    That is all

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