Scarlett Johansson


Has Scarlett Johansson been counted yet,coz I’ve never seen such a mong on telly or cinema.

Every clip you see of her, in an upcoming movie or any scene that she’s in all she ever does is gawp and squint like a total mong. I pride myself in seeing the fuckability in most tarts but that cunt has me digging a hole under the patio just in case I bump into her down at the post office. I am now pissed off thinking about her. Cheers…

Nominated by: Birdman

77 thoughts on “Scarlett Johansson

  1. After careful consideration I can confirm that I definitely would, even though I’ve had better. Truth.

  2. I would like to cunt a man named Darren Benson , never heard of him I hear you cry.
    No you won’t have but this is the cunt who thought it was okay to send his white teenage daughter to school with £140.00 worth of extremely long bright white dreadlocks, Yes I kd you not here is the photographic evidence

    This cunt then proceeded to call his daughters school racist.!
    Well Mr Benson when the school bully grabs your child by her ridiculously over priced head of fake hair and pulls the whole lot out roots and all and your daughter named Chenise, (yes cunters the daughter is called Chenise ) you can explain to a very busy A&E why the fuck your wasting their time CUNT.
    Chav twat cunt.

    • They are not really dreadlocks, are they? They are braids. But regardless he is a cunt for calling his daughter Chenise. Who the fuck calls their daughter Chenise? Presumably there is a Mrs. Benson and she must be cunted too.

      • Maybe he thought that was how you spelled “Chinese”?

        You know like how the Beckham’s decided to name their son Brooklyn – having been allegedly conceived there.

        That’s her middle name because all of Mr Benson’s kids’ first name is Bakotha, so they go by the middle names which is the place where they were conceived. They are:

        Bakotha “Chenise” Benson,
        Bakotha “Bookies” Benson, and lets not forget little
        Bakotha “Kebab-Shop” Benson.

    • Fuckin Chenise says it all without the fuckin twatmong hair extensions. You’re not wrong Kath. Darren Benson is the hugest most deluded cunt of a parent yet.

    • Just seen this in the paper. Definite cunt. Obviously can’t read either i.e. the school rules on dress etc. The wanker got to the racist accusation very quickly. Total bollocks but that sort of cunt with no argument grabs the racist word straight away.
      Take the soppy kid out and do to her what female collaborators got in 1945.

    • I want to cunt anyone who plays the racist card.
      I’ve had all I can stand of these fucking morons whose sole argument is “that’s racist”
      Any debate would show these cunts up for the fuckwits they are. I no longer pay any attention to matters of racism, because thanks to these twats it has lost all its meaning and become a bad joke.
      Change the fucking record you boring bunch of shits.

    • Blair, this smiling big eared cockroach has crawled out from under his rock of slime and sees fit to yet again lecture the British public. How come this cunt is not standing trial for the war crimes he committed, what happened to the Chilcott report? It’s all been brushed unde the carpet. Fuck off Blair you cunt.

      • Never mind standing trial, the god of cunts should be standing on a trap door, with a fucking rope around his neck.

  3. I read the nomination as “squirt” like a total mong. I thought that a whole new realm of porn was opening up to me. What a disappointment.

  4. !!!Emergency Cunting!!!

    The war criminal and alleged sex offender Tony Blair is at it again. In an interview with that pop up rag “the new european” he has said remoaners are the “new insurgents” and should organize to overthrow the democratic will of the people. Remember he also said in a previous interview that he may return to front line UK politics.

    Cuntitude on a previously unseen scale, even for him and he sets a very high bar indeed.

    • The slimy cockroach says that 48% of the electorate voted to remain and they should have their views respected and that we should have a second referendum or a general election.

      To be fair to him he is applying the same rigorous statistical analysis he did to his last general election victory when he went on to form a government despite 64.8% of the popular vote being against him.

    • That grinning cunt deserves a bullet between the eyes. How happy I will be when I hear that news.

      • It’s because of him that we have IS and wogs infesting Calias/Germany/Sweden and fuck knows where else…. That fat cunt Merkel is to blame too, but when Blair (and his boss, Bush) invaded Iraq they killed the zookeeper (Saddam Hussein) and then all the animals escaped….

        Blair’s Britain? Military graves, shut down pubs, closed Post Offices, council nazis, binge drinking, smoking bans, health and cunting safety nazis, and every town filled with Somalians, Romanians and every other type of leeching foreign fucker… Cheers, Tony, you utter fucking cunt…

      • In fairness to the weasel faced wank sock he isn’t totally responsible for the wog invasion of Europe. That has to go down to Killary Kiloton “we came, we saw, he died! HAHAHA!”, pig fucker Camercunt and that little froggy wankstain Sarkozy-fanny-tutty for invading Libya.

        When will they learn? Dictators run these shit holes because only dictators can.

      • A bullet would be too quick and too kind. William Wallace type death much more appropriate to this grinning skull.
        He deserves to die for what he did before but now coming up with his latest shit about overthrowing the democratic will of 17m people he defo deserves the torture.
        I am now just waiting for the “I have been quoted out of context” excuse. Bollocks to that. You are a conniving cunt who is out of British politics and should stay out as you have caused nothing but misery. Duck off to one of your many house, spend the rest of your days counting your ill gotten gains and stop,spouting shit you treacherous cunt.

  5. Admittedly, she can come across as a bit of a cunt: with her pro-Kilary bollocks, rich as fuck yet still doing more adverts than Pearl & Dean (including the pretentious Calvin Klein and shite like Sodastream), and recently murdering a New Order classic (‘Bizarre Love Triangle’)… But still not as much as a cunt as other Hollywood celebricunts/luvvies like Portman, Paltrow, Lively, Stewart, Heard, and that Lohan slag… And nowhere near the red alert cunt levels of those bonebags/slappers, Swift and Delevigne… At least Johansson has a bit of meat on her and a good pair of tits… Speaking of which, I certainly would with Scarjo… As dear old Clint might say, every which way but loose…

  6. And Johansson comes nowhere near Adele for being a cunt….
    The KFC consuming squawking fat cunt is now telling her audiences how to vote in the US presidential election… Now, I may not agree with certain Yank celebrity cunts and their views on Clinton and/or Trump, but at least they are Yanks and it is their election… How it must please the American population, that a fat mockney chav with an IQ of about 10 is giving them her pearls of wisdom…. But maybe the singing Whale knows something we don’t… Maybe she has heard that Trump wants to abolish Big Macs and full fat Coca Cola… That would certainly make her start observing US politics….

    • There are bigger cunts in acting, but this cunt does nuffinck .
      She is not the ugliest but she looks the mongiest.
      And is probably one of the highest paid actors (right on or what).
      The next time you’re channel hopping and see her in a filum,just watch, i bet she don’t talk. She just looks like she’s sharted and is to scared to ask for help.

      I never said i wouldn’t ride it, but i’d probably be checking for a pulse the whole time…..

      • I can recommend a pretty good optometrist, as this is plainly what any daft cunt incapable of appreciating this girl’s raging fuckability is in need of. If it isn’t the eyes that are the problem and you are just incapable of getting the old fella twitching, they tell me viagra can help. Wouldn’t know, never needed it…

    • Yes you do you cunt.

      I normally have Tony ‘Warmonger’ Blair and you stole the cunt off me.

      Still, looking on the bright side cara Delevigne might kark it first and not only will all my Chritmasses have come at once, but I will also be able steal that cunt Blair back off you. 🙂

      • Ain’t he that pervert who got done for importuning in a public lav, married some trout with a huge gob, daughter of a scouse gobshite “actor”, and some cunt made it go away, Derry somebody or other?

  7. The spazmotron is at it again… Gurning peroxide retard, Lily Allen, is now saying that anyone who has misgivings about her precious ‘child migrants’ is as bad as Hitler and is spreading propaganda… Well, I would call trying to portray men – with a known reputation for theft, sexual assault, terrorisrm, and fleeing welfare systems – as ‘vulnerable’ and ‘children’ as propaganda myself… And that is what dear lickle mong features is doing…. The latest pile of cack that masquerades as her new album must be out soon, because ultramong is milking this publicity… It’s almost Scouse in its neverending bullshit, self pity and cynicism… Maybe Lily should take up Max Clifford’s vacant (professional) role:then it could be Lily Allen: PR Mong….

    • The soppy cunt wants to get her facts right if she is going to throw that abuse about. Goebbels was the propagandist not Hitler.
      Cunt bitch.

    • Well Done to the taxi who called Lily Allen a stupid tart,and told her to get a refugee to drive her,when she flagged him down today.

  8. Back in the 70s when the murdering fenian IRA scum were blowing up innocent punters having a pint, I used to loath and despise the Ulster accent. It was like finger nails scratching down a black board. The aural equivalent as a rotary power sander on your bell end.

    The other week I downloaded a TV series The Fall, ( not much cop ) set in Belfast and to my amazement the Ulster accent didn’t grate any more. My guess is that now the rebellious treacherous cunts have stopped blowing people up, for the most part anyway, my objection to their accent has tempered some what.

    However I now loath and despise the scotch accent for they are the rebellious treacherous cunts de jour. Sky news is notable for being infested by the two faced back stabbing cunts and so is the ABBC. If I paid a license fee I would be asking for my money back. Cunts.

    • You’re right about the Scottish accent. Not them all but most.
      I don’t know whats worse ,the polite or the slang.
      When i hear them on telly, all im thinking is , who talks like that?
      If one hears my accent ,it’s always followed with ” werrr ye fae”
      What the fuck has it got to do with you where I’m from.
      Do you full breed English get that,coz its fucking annoying.
      They think i want to converse just coz i was born within the same border .the clue motherfuckers is ,i left.
      And they all seem to know the area I’m from. So fucking what, i know it as well
      I try and avoid expats and Brit holiday makers ,but in the year 2016 these scotch cunts are amazed that they’ve met someone from the same cuntry in this far flung place that is can make you feel like a pioneer.

      • It’s “frae” birdman and in Glasgow we ask: “Wha’ school d’ya go tae?”

      • Never been religious, but went to a “proddy” school.
        When i got a job in Glesga after school ,i just answered the school question with ” i support Leicester”.
        I also have a Catholic name so sometimes they never asked what school and just took me for a fenian.
        English cunters are probably wondering what a Catholic name is, well it’s a normal name that one group of west of Scotland like ( caffliks) and another hates (prods) for no reason what so ever.

        Eh, wit school didye go tae yersell bigman.
        Or is rebel the clue……

      • I didnae, ah went tae a high school in Stoke d’ya ken!

        Jock grandparents on me Mam’s side. Spent many a week in the hols in Paisley. Can still do a good turn on the accent which fools English folk but never a true “Westerner” for very long.

        Ah those were the days, 5 No6 tabs, 5 matches, a 99 and a can of Irn Bru forra quid off the Ice Cream van!

      • Hey Birdman. What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings but Walt Disney…….

      • That’s the first joke i can remember hearing as a kid. I still find it funny, but it usually only works on the scotch, and coz my daughter has never been to Scotland, she don’t get it either.
        Same with, what do you call a scotsman whose lost his dog ?
        Dugless …..

        Two cows in a field.
        What one is going on holiday?
        The one with the wee calf……

        I’ll get my kilt……

      • Me n Davy from Govan (razor scar) went for a brew and he confused the counter girl by pointing at the cakes etc. and saying “is that a cake or a meringue?” To which the answer should be “No, it’s a cake.” He had to explain it to me.

      • Totally forgot about that one.
        Pissing myself laughing like i heard for the first time.
        Cheers Alan…..

        COYB and fuck the yids……..

      • PS Birdman, that happened in Woolworths cafe in Dumfries fuckin years ago. Davy was a lovely bloke but with a drink, same as me, you’d need an exorcist.

    • As an Ulsterman , it used to grieve me that , on my forays to Mainland Britain , there was a level of antipathy directed towards me by ill-informed people who categorised all ”paddies” as untrustworthy , potential terrorists.
      I can well understand the primitive , Pavlovian-type response that was generated during the dark days of the Troubles by the cowardly , psychotically deranged thugs whose cuntery knew no bounds. However , as one who served as a policeman during the conflict , it was galling to be perceived in a negative way by my fellow Brits , especially as one who along with my colleagues sought to control the activities of the morally bankrupt cunts , both Loyalist and Nationalist , whose existence was a blight on both the province of Northern Ireland and The U.K .
      I worked with democratically fair-minded people , both Roman Catholic and Protestant , whose primary aim was to avert total anarchy.
      As I said , I understand how people’s perception of an entire community can be governed by the minority fucktard actions of a few misbegotten cunts. But PLEASE remember , most of us here in N.I are physically sickened by the cuntdeavours of the ”patriots” in our midst whose rationale is beyond our comprehension.
      PS , it used to annoy the fuck out of me when my Northern Ireland STERLING notes were refused by stupid cunts in Mainland establishments . Also when some people said , ”RUC , isn’t that a terrorist organisation ?” – Christ help me . no I’m on your side (as long as you’re an educatable cunt !)
      No disrespect to you Skidmark , whose thoughts often chime with my own .I can see you are a rational anti-cuntist.

      • I never thought of it as a Pavlovian response but you are absolutely correct, probably conditioned into me by the MSM. The only time you used to hear an Ulster accent was after some kind of terrorist atrocity and so the two become linked.

        They should do the same today, every time there is a bombing, shooting, stabbing, running people over with a truck-ing, they should set it to a soundtrack of sand niggers shouting Allahu Akbar.

  9. Odin, I sincerely apologise for being a cunt by taking that cunt Blair from you, that does make me a cunster and feel free to cunt me whenever you like, as a sportsman and decent chap if you would like to take that cunt away from me, you are more than welcome

    • No Ginger, that would be wrong of me.

      The early bird bags the worm, or in this case that cunt Blair.

      Good luck with that one. I hope he dies screaming.

      • Yeah but can the silly tart act? last film I saw her in I was amazed at how horribly shite at acting she is.

        Like can she even smile?! she’s got the same sappy face all the bloody time. Keep in mind I hate the current hollywood/filmstar establishment they turn out shite films with no redeeming quality again and again..

      • She was good in Lost In Translation and Lucy…. Under The Skin was alright too.. A Nic Roeg type film where she kills lots of blokes and gets her kit off… She has done a lot of crap though: those Avengers films. rom-com shite, and that twaddle with Woody Allen…

      • I recently bought the DVD ‘Under The Skin’ unseen. and it was ok for an hour and then it turned to shit. I could have written a better ending myself. Which isn’t her fault, but I think she’s over-rated, and that goes for her body as well.

      • Lost in translation actually wasn’t that bad it was like groundhog’s day in japan lol. Interesting to see japanese culture through bill murray’s eyes. I actually saw that film in the theater years ago

      • Lost in Translation must surely be one of the most fucking boring films ever. I actually fell asleep watching it.

        However, ScarJo would most definitely get a pearl necklace from me. And that arse in the tight costume when she’s in the Avengers……jesus.

      • Fair play to her for going billy bollocks in Under The Skin… Most actresses of her age and profile would take the huge fee but then get all precious and mardarsed, and then use a body double… No tricks or special tape etc to make her look better either… And most softarsed Hollywood actress tarts wouldn’t have done that scene in the buff with that deformed bloke like she did… Shows signs of cuntitude, but well ahead (or is it behind?) of a lot of other Hollywood actress cunts…

      • Otherwise to you might have been singing the Buddy Holly song: All of my life I’ve been kissing your left tit cuz the right one’s missing oh boy.

      • Yeah, but it was a shit cunting, so that’s why most people went down the ‘I would bang it’ route.

      • Airbrushing is a wonderful thing too, but as far as I know her tits are silicon-free… Mr Sausage has a point… Like all Hollywood celeb luvvies, she’s daft, but ScarJo is just not enough of a cunt…

        Gwyneth Paltrow… Now there is a copper bottomed cunt…

  10. Concur on the Adele references above. A stupifyingly fat and talentless cunt…Over-rated, overweight and totally over-exposed. The ‘Singing whale’ got me good. Set me up nicely for the weekend. Thanks to Norman.

  11. I actually think Ms Johansen is very pretty. More so because she winds the Mrs up who doesn’t think she is very talented and who did say: “She should have landing gear with a nose that big!”

    Meowwwww! Phsst! Phsst!

  12. Just tried to get in a black cab with my kids…. Driver called me a Manc bastard and drove off…. They didn’t, of course, but if the Musical Mong can tell such whoppers then everyone else can too… I think that Lily Allen is a lying, self serving piece of shite and a total cuntbag… She is like the modern Sinead O’ Connor, with her endless lust for publicity through lies and staged stunts… I hope all London taxi drivers now boycott the despicable spaztard and that she catches a slap or two off a couple of ‘concerned citizens’…

    As a man (albeit a cunt) once sang: ‘Instant Karma’s gonna get you…’ People are starting to turn against this media whore gobshite, and her lies and antics will find her out… The backlash against Lily Mong is imminent, and I, for one, cannot wait…

    • Good comparison Norm although Sinead might be a baldy “I’m a stressed cunt” but at lest she can sing you know like enya or something with the whole wailing vocal thing.

      Lily cunt on the other hand just slow talks and waddles on like a deformed dwarf. I saw a rare picture of sinead with hair in the 80’s the other week much better then her “I’m a irish IRA skinhead look”

      • Lily Mong is one of those people who will talk more and more shit and dig herself an even bigger hole… I really do hope she is found out over this taxi slur, and even that they actually sue her…. The lying spakker doesn’t even use taxis… She has a driver/chauffeur like all celebrity cunts of her ilk… Mong Features really needs to be brought down a peg or two hundred… And even if it were true (which it isn’t) a grumpy cab driver is not ‘discrimination’… Is this mong really that ignorant?! If she wasn’t the spawn of that Keith Allen cunt and had a silver spoon up her arse, Lily Spazmo would struggle to work in McDonald’s or a biscuit factory… She knows nothing of struggle or discrimination and she needs her spazzy head shoving down the bog…

  13. I would indeed smash her back doors off, given the opportunity, but it would be a secondary gesture to my telling her in no uncertain terms what an utter cunt she is and always will be.

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