The Mercury Music Prize


The Mercury Music Prize needs cunting.

Just like the Apartheid in reverse MOBOs and now the Oscars, the Mercury is now another platform for ‘diversity’, no matter how shit the acts and records are…

Wasn’t a fan of Bowie’s last album, but it was still better than that ‘grime’ bollocks that won…

Nominated by: Norman

I thought the Mercury Prize was for music – so what’s that shit that won it all about?

I’m all for a bit of variety and don’t even mind music that’s not to my taste provided it’s done well, but this stuff is just absolute bollocks!

Still, at least that dead cunt Bowie didn’t win it. Sorry – pretentious dead cunt Bowie that should have read…

Nominated by: Chas C

46 thoughts on “The Mercury Music Prize

  1. Not a great Bowie fan (though I liked some of his 70s stuff), but I was wondering: will this Mercury Music thing ever be won again by a guitar/bass/drums/singer group ever again?
    As far as the media and the charts are concerned the band is dead… Crap gobshite rap bollocks and pre-packaged ‘singers’ (like Chickboy Gaga and that fat cow, Adele) now dominate… For every decade there were groups for that time… The 60s had too many to mention, same goes for the 70s, the 80s had The Smiths, Depeche Mode, New Order and others, and even the 90s has Blur and Oasis (like them or loathe them)… But the 2000s and 2010s? If Jack White, Ed Sheeran and Adele are the best we’ve got then we are fucked…

    • Up until about 1999 i used to buy records all the time .couldn’t wait until Monday to get the new song or album you’d been waiting for .this century I’ve probably bought about 30 new releases. The younger cunts will probably tell me I’m just an old cunt but seriously it’s fucking shite. I have an 11 year old daughter whom i Love deeply , but sometimes the shite that she listens to twists my melon man

  2. Just another industry giving itself a pat on the back with an unnecessary award.
    Won by Skepta….a so called “grime” artist.

    I’ve heard some of this grime… and the letter ‘e’ is superfluous…

    • Did you see the utter shower of cunts who went up on stage when he collected the award?

      Twenty or so spooks dressed like a street gang, all pulling gun signs with their fingers and attempting to look as menacing as possible.

      When the mainstream media glorifies this nothing culture, just to show how diverse and accepting they are, it really shows how far we have fallen.
      Zero talent, zero respect for anything ( which is ironic seeing as respect is all they myther on about) and zero appeal from the public.

      It’s music promoted by the media, for the media, so it can pat itself on the back for doing its but for multiculturalism.

      All it’s doing is encouraging black animals to act like bigger cunts than they already are.

  3. “Twenty or so spooks dressed as a street gang”. That’s what the black cunts matter cunts don’t understand. Years of portraying themselves as “gangstas ” has gotten to the point where a good number of people feel intimidated by black cunts. If I told you everyday that i was going to piss on you , you would eventually believe that i was going to piss on you. Adabayour and his national teammates were ambushed on the way to a game and one of the coaches died.the next time i saw adebayour he was wearing a shirt with an AK-47 on it …shameless dirty cunt..

    • Adabayour is a fucking moron… A pig ignorant mercenary, like most big name African players (Drogba, Ya Ya Toure, Muntari, Mikel etc)….

      And these Black Lives Matter cunts conveniently forget to mention that a lot of this ‘victimised minority’ revel in macho stereotypes, misogyny, criminality, and the ‘gangsta’ image…. Also, it is cunts like Kanye West and NWA that keep the word ‘Nigger’ alive and in the mainstream… Fucking thick hypocritical cunts… After all, Beyonce is married to a cunt (Jay-Z) who can’t even get past referring to women collectively as ‘bitches’…. There is nothing radical about any of these cunts… They are just chavs, just a different colour of chav, that’s all…

  4. The winners have always been overrated, wasn’t any better when the winners were a much lauded ‘band’. I don’t give a toss wether people play ‘real’ instruments (all instruments are real, they’re not fucking imaginary) as most modern bands are fucking boring cunts rehashing the same guitar based shit that hasn’t evolved in the past 20 years. The phrase ‘real instruments’ is used by pretentious cunts.

    • I think the term real instruments mean that it is the instrument itself which producers the sound. It’s a completely analog process unlike computer generated sound which is synthetic, not real, digital, false.

      • By that logic our comments here are synthetic, not real, digital, false. No-one gives a shit if it isn’t music created digitally yet somehow when its music some people go full pretentious cunt.

      • Electronic music is music created by a person using a computer as a tool, like Toy Story is a film created by humans using computers as a tool or a novelist using a word processor to write their book. You don’t switch on a synthesiser/computer and sit back while it makes music. It needs human input, a lot of electronic music artists have a traditional music background.

      • Your confusing language and music, but lets run with the analogy as I think it might take us some where. Writen language is a codified version of spoken language the same way musical notation is a codified version of music. It would make not a jot of difference if you wrote your comments on a type writer or computer or with a pencil and paper. The same with writing music. However, consider a computer taking your text and making synthetic speech out of it. It sounds funny, doesn’t it? You can tell it is a synthetic voice, false. Same with synthetic music, you can tell it isn’t “real” instruments, they just don’t sound right.

  5. Awards for being a cunt, where the fuck is mine. These Johnny come lately cunts all showing up collecting there awards after just a few years of being cunts, wtf seriously?

    Some of us were deep in cuntitude before these fuckers climbed out of their fat mammas cunt….the cunts.

  6. Most modern music is tuneless thump , the wankers like it so they make more of it sounding just like the last lot. Not heard hardly anything I can whistle or hum for at least 15 years, it’s all video and black posturing.
    Massive cuntings to all of it. Hope the fans go fucking deaf and get piles.

  7. A lot of today’s mainstreamer music just sits straight in line with the market it’s aimed at. Brainless and totally disposable. We’ll never see people comparable to Hendrix and the like again. Culture has downturned straight down the bog with politics and agendas everywhere. This throwaway society has produced a lot of monumental shit with both music and film, and it’s unlikely to get much better. I’m not saying all of it is shit, but a big chunk of it leaves me thinking “what the fuck?”

  8. Haven’t given a shit for what’s played on the radio etc for decades. Most of it sounds like recycled phone ringtones or some pussywhipped teenager blubbing apologies to a spoilt girlfriend. Or even a 4×4 full of gangbangers about to machine gun someone. There’s plenty of rock on YouTube etc, CDs are cheap as chips and classical music CDs are even cheaper (it relaxes me).
    Popular culture is dead to me and has been since probably about 1977, nothing but commercialised shite.
    Remember when that fat little cunt Robbie Williams nicked the “You Only Live Twice” intro for “Millenium”? Someone mentioned it to John Barry, who simply shrugged and said “I wouldn’t know Robbie Williams if I fell over him”.

    • A wise man avoids Radios One and Two. I reckon the last time I listened to Radio One Noel Edmonds was presenting the breakfast show. I used to have Radio 4 on all day, until I could take no more, and now I only listen to Radio Six. Therefore, I had never heard of this awful Skepta (or indeed of “Grime”) before the award was announced.
      There’s loads of good stuff by new acts on Six, plus classic rock, garage, prog, punk, indie, jazz, blues, hip-hop, funk, soul, reggae, world (not much to my liking, the world). The only times I have to turn it down are when they play dreary British hip-hop and some cunt called “Roots Manuva”.

  9. With all these fucking stupid award shows perhaps we could have a cunt award for the worst one out of the Oscars, Man Booker, Mercury, BAFTAs etc. The prize could be a mounted synthetic rubber casting of Adele’s fat, bulbous minge.

    • Just as long as it isn’t a ‘scratch ‘n’ sniff’ replica of Adele’s vast kipper, Alan… The whole auditorium would need World War II gas masks…

  10. I found the comments on here very interesting. Music is highly personal and subjective. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. I just say listen to it and decide if you like it. If you don’t then it doesn’t automatically mean it’s shit!

    As regards electronics, imagine what Mozart could have done with a modern keyboard! I play an electric guitar. Does that make it not a real instrument?

    I’ve released a dozen albums over the years. Listen to them free on Spotify then decide what you like or don’t like. Not one of the 100+ tracks has a ‘real’ drummer on it. Can you tell? It was real when it was recorded before I chopped it up on the computer and moved it about a bit!

    As regards the Hendrix comment now there was a unique player. I was lucky enough to see him live several times. My tribute to him was ‘Tomorrow is Another Day’ and if you listen to my feeble attempt then you’ll see just how good he was!

    As for grime, I really do think it’s low quality and I don’t get it but as I said, to each their own.

    • An electric guitar is a real instrument, it is still a vibrating string, your personal style can still be heard. Just don’t go overboard with the effects, like that bog hoper the hedge.

      • Your own personal style can be heard using Aftertouch on a Synthesiser, or velocity controlling a Synthesisers envelope.

      • @Everyone
        Electronic bands are great I listen to a great deal of them. Nothing is fake bout the Synthesiser its sounds exactly as it should machinery and bloop bleepy. Rap on the otherhand Fake or Real is still highly uncreative, highly recycled and sampled shite.

        @ChasC Hendrix wasn’t even that good a guitar player unique tho for a song writer but he was a genius in sound effects & distortion and his influence of turning blues into a more heavyrock/pop framework. I think Jimi’s live stuff is dicey tho, To be fair it was probably hard to capture his best moments on live albums because the JHE played too fucking loud

      • Ever listened to Box of Frogs?
        Little known band that sprung from the Yardbirds with Beck and Page it. Went on to morph into Led Zep. They did two albums and a demo album as a LZ trial. Well worth a listen. Out of pressing but available on Pirate Bay. Good stuff and historically interesting.

      • As much as I love the electric guitar as an instrument in its own right, I totally love the many effects units that can be added to it as part of a pedalboard. Check out the former Verve guitarist, Nick McCabe. He created some totally beautiful sonic textures which lead to that distinctive Verve sound. Their album “A Storm In Heaven” is a good example of this.

      • Box of frogs weren’t bad the 1st album with jeff beck was alright. Hendrix thought very highly of Beck’s playing but Becks solo stuff is really uneven I find.

        Its a shame Hendrix died so bloody young he was in talks with Emerson,Lake & Palmer to form a group. Would of been funny to have their name change to HELP lol

        @TV I haven’t really got into Verve outside of urban hymns) but it looks like a decent album and Leckie produced it?! not bad have to checky it then, cheers

  11. I get where you’re coming from chas c, music is subjective but the the list of music that is shit is endless. I used to be of the opinion that something created had to have something good about it ,but then you hear all about the bass and that blew that theory out the water.

  12. Cuntiest award must be the Turner Prize.
    Cows chopped in half….an unmade bed and paintings done with elephant shit.
    Dunno how the cunts get away with it.
    Turner must be turning in his grave…

    • I second that J. R. Worra fucking insult to the intelligence. This year’s CUNT award of Adele’s piss flaps goes to the megacunt twat that paints with elephant shit.

    • Emperors new clothes. Shit as art for pretentious cunts to waffle on about.
      My dogs shit is for sale if interested.

  13. I fucking hate airports. I’m in one now waiting to escape this shit hole and there is some mair breast feeding. Now I’m no expert in bairns but this little cunt must be 2 years old, full head of hair, can walk better than me most nights and is at least 2 1/2 foot tall. She isn’t half bad either, I might ask for a go after junior has finished.

  14. I would like to nominate “Synchronised Advertising” for a cunting.

    Generally speaking I avoid adverts like the plague by either watching stuff on catch-up, or, pausing a live show for 15mins, make a brew and then skip through that shite at my leisure.

    There are two exceptions:

    1) When I’m working away and don’t have the luxury of a Sky or YouView box.

    2) Listening to commercial radio on my travels.

    Now I know the BBC have no ads (currently) but they do have shit programmes not worth watching or listening to, so I see what’s on FreeView.

    As soon as those 118 cunts come on I do a bit of channel hoping and every other commercial channel also seems to be running ads at *exactly* the same time! Cunts.

    Same with commercial radio. As soon as an ad comes on I search up/down onto yet another ad, and another, and another.

    Again you hit the odd BBC piece of shit but who the fuck wants to listen to Vanessa Feltz drone on about her fucking brood and her 1/2 frog grandkid at 5am in the morning! Not me, that’s for fucking sure!

    When we only had ITV & CH4 you never got ads at the same time. Now in the digital era they’re all sync’d so if you do channel hop you still get to see some cunt’s advert knowing full well that for every cunt who’s hopped off their channel, at least one will hop on to theirs.

    Whoever managed to organise advertising slots across channels – give or take 10secs – desperately requires an utter cunting! Fucking cunts!

  15. Norm,I reckon Rory wouldnt have suited the Stones;he was a frontman really.And Dioclese,the drink ruined Rory during the 80″s.I saw him late 70″s with De”ath and McAvoy,shit hot they were mate……………Baaaaaaaaaaah

      • Bonamassa IMHO spends too much time showing off and pleasing himself rather than the audience. He’d be a lot better if he could get past that…

      • Most blues guitarists are just techy showoffs anyway… kinda boring, not really thinking outside the box type stuff . I like prog guitarists alot more like Steve Howe, David Gilmour, Allan Holdsworth, Mike Rutherford, Steve Hillage, Fripp and John Ellis I could go on and on all so I’ll stop

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