David Mitchell is a cunt, be he has to applauded for marrying that fat, pitted faced cunt Victoria Coren,
I am only guessing, but I’m sure he’s an arse bandit and just married her so he can carry on sucking cock after he fell out with his lover Robert Webb.
What’s he doing now? Probably working in Mr Byrites selling jeans
Nominated by: Boaby
I’d be first in line for a soapy tit wank off Victoria Coren and no mistake. And she is a right dirty cow and all, she used to co-edit the errotic review, a high class jazz mag and wrote a book about making a porn movie. So I bet she’d go a bit.
David Mitchel, cunt. No doubt about it.
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I have ‘played’ poker against her, and believe me she is nothing short of crater faced.
If you ever wish to experience ‘TV make-up’ then simply go to a Pokerstars event, pay your £1500 and await to get on her table.
She is fucking repugnant.
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Shame that such a flattering photo was used above.
Should have been more realistic.
Like this: http://imgur.com/a/iizAS
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Is the bloke thinking “I’m sure a Royal flush would have won five aces”
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Fuck me ,she looks very mingy. But I still would, oh the shame…
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Hell’s teeth! Without the TV slap on she looks like Benny Hill and Bella Emberg’s lovechild.
Mitchell still looks happy as fuck though, probably has a Japanese love ball up his arse!
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Nice big boobies though..
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You need to understand the difference between “large” and “nice”
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Seems they both missed the point of being famous and successful, which is you no longer have to sleep with mingers.
Superficial moi?
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Hes a fucking posh big fringed cunt with his whiney voice infesting those awful radio 4 witty panel shows,shes only on tv cos of her dad but I bet she looks the business in black lingerie and probably enjoys sucking cock and taking the load in her eager wide open mouth,trouble is I bet David likes the same……
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Excellent cunting, boaby – I fucking despise the pair of them. If you had a pictorial dictionary, the above photo would appear under the definitions of ‘Smug’ and ‘Unfunny’.
And didn’t she have a long affair with Rod Liddle, the thinking man’s Richard Littlejohn?
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How do you leave cunting? Reason is I fucking hate Australians/new Zealanders, I can’t tell whose who cos both the fucking accents are irritating, I come across one of these irritating cunts at a petrol station tonight, there was no other pumps available and didn’t think anything of it and reverse parked near a pump on my side, then I was just about to fill up when this sloth moving Australian/new Zealander walked past me saying ‘thanks for parking in front of me carrrr so I can’t get out ‘ in his FUCKING SILLY accent so I got arsey and moved me fucking car to keep Rolf Harris happy! I fucking hate Australians they come to the UK and bang on about how great Australia is… If it’s that great, why don’t you fuck off but yo silly dingo bongo stupid fucking accent Australia land!! Fuck off and shag a kangaroo Ozzie cunts!!!
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Get ready for more of the cunts as the some Oz cunt minister or other says if we want a trade deal with them we have to give them more visas. But it’s OK as if you never go to London you will never bump into any of them.
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As i was walking through Earls Court, into a pub i was lured, when a nosey pom said “where you from” as i downed the amber fluid, i said “get it straight,I’m an Aussie mate and I’m fixing to get plastered, but the beer is crook and the birds all look like you , ya pommy……….grandad…..
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Peter Tatchell, Germaine Greer, Fosters, Castlemaine, Neighbours and Aussie rules football, need I say more…fuckin’ shite.
Stupid fuckin’ accent cunts who’d give their left bollock to be British.
Convict wogs……
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Give Home and Away a watch and tell me that you wouldn’t like a crack at almost every actress in it…
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Come on Fred, actress? Hardly fucking Shakespeare is it!
Prisoner Cell Block H – now that was fucking acting. They all deserved Olivier awards in that.
My Mrs and Daughter watch that home and away shite. I remember it used to be on years ago when it was summat to do with orphaned kids or summat living in some good life house. I only watched it back then (late 80’s) cos that Marilyn bird in it was well fit back then, and always good for a cleve shot.
Well anyway I noticed that Alf bloke is in the new one. Fuck me, do they put him in cryogenic storage each night cos the cunt’s barely changed in 30yrs!
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Marilyn from Home and Away was shagging the gnome faced Matt Latissier for ages. Jammy cunt.
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As a counterpoint to your cunting, I can assure you that immigrant cunts from all nations’ bang on about their home country.
Our little island has huge groups of English and (worse) South fucking Africans. Both lots all bore you to fucking tears with stories of how this, that or the other is so much better “back home”. I have offered to buy some of these wank-stains a ticket back if it’s so fucking great, only to see them get all wobbly lipped at being “picked on”. Fuck off.
And trust me HB when I tell you come of the English accents are fucking shit as well.
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You reminded of the smarmy Labour cunt Bryan Gould who served on the Labour front bench and after failing at getting the Labour leadership in 92 fucked off back to NZ in a huff. Apparently he was upset about Maastricht. What the fuck it had to do with that Kiwi twat I don’t know. Careerist cunt.
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Both of them fancy themselves rotten as Hinterleckchewals but she does have a mighty fine pair of tits that need a serious mullering. He is a boring cunt and therefore the darling of the Dinner party set .
I would like to have her in every conceivable crevice while he has to watch but he would probably like that, the cunt.
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Fucking Australians!! I’m fuming! No one likes them! They are lazy cunts, I hate the way UK people copy there accent aswell, they abbreviate words such as ambulance to ‘ambo’ and university to, cunts! If Australia is that good, sod offffff!!!
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Australia is fucking shit, that’s why all the fuckers want to come here. I went there for a month and it was a big mistake. I was bored shitless after a couple of weeks. Full of back packer cunts doing there now obligatory “gap year” and thinking they are having such a huge fucking adventure when really it is a sanitized conveyor belt transporting the spotty youths from one hostel to another. A cunt of a country full of cunts and the only people who want to visit it are cunts as well.
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There was a reason we shipped their ancestors as far away as fucking possible all those years ago, the apple never falls far from the tree.
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i would have gone walkabout with Jenny Agutter though.
I still have fond memories of watching that film at 14 or so
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When i was 10 i read in an article that Jenny agutter was seeing someone 10 years her junior and in my horny fucked up young head i thought i had a chance of poking it ……poking with fingers was all i knew at 10….
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Jenny was always good for a blart shot no matter what the film: Walkabout, Logan’s Run, American Werewolf in London – always handy for a bit of brillo pad action.
I bet her keks were round her ankles in The Railway Children flick as well until Cribbins or some other grasser cunt told her it was for kids. Bloody spoilers!
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She was 17 when it was filmed.
Beautifully photographed shots of the outback, and the swimming scene certainly made me want to explore the bush….
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Got to watch oit for spiders in the bush in aussie
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Not sure that young Jenny’s bush would have been infested, Sir Limply.
Or perhaps you know different…?
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You’re right Fred, that scene was definitely worth a wank. Fantastic body she had. Tits went saggy later on of course.
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I always thought peepshow was excellent and so thought David Mitchell was alright, but after listening to him and his BBC radio 4 dicks and cunts i wholeheartedly agree the little puffin looking cunt is a cunt…
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….and he’s an anti brexit cunt
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He’s alright when he’s saying funny things written by other people, by himself he’s just a cleverer version of Mark Corrigan from Peep Show with less funny lines. She is an absolute cunt of the highest order, always looking like she’s just smelt some shit.
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I’d happily let her trombone me,she probably would be smelling a bit of shit then.
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I’d poke ‘er and giver her a royal flush.
1
I would like to give Axl Rose a proper cunting. When Brian Johnson was told he had to stop singing with AC/DC due to losing his hearing, they decided that the Guns n’ Roses cunt would step in.
But step he did not. The redneck fuckwit decided to play the gigs sat on a throne. A fucking throne! Broken leg or not, show some fucking respect to a band that makes yours look like Busted, you egotistical cunt.
Axl Rose is a cunt iof the highest order of has-been celebrity cunts.
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What an utter cunt. Broken leg or not he should have bounced around the stage like an Olympic gymnast suffering from St Vitus Dance.
It’s nearly as disgraceful as that idle bastard Stephen Hawking pottering about in that cripple chariot. Lazy cunt should run a marathon, or go trampolining.
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Must have been a sturdy fucking throne to support the fat cunt.
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Can’t believe it, just turned me telly on and Police force Australia is in telly, fucking everywhere, last thing I wanted after my altercation with the cunt Australian I saw today, even there police force looks stupid, they look like fucking playmobile figures, they are soft as shite with there fines and punishments, fucking stupid accents!
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Alan Shearer is a cunt…Most shocking thing about whole Fat Sam episode is Alan Shearer – the original Greedy Bastard – coming out to slam money culture in football… I recall when this mercenary sheepshagger went to Burntblack Rovers for the cash, alongside cunts like sausage bandit Le Saux, Worzel Hendry, and King Cunt Kenny…
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Has Colin Hendry been cunted for borrowing money from friends and then refusing to pay it back?
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Totally agree with Shearer been a cunt – I’m a sunderland fan! Have a look at our favourite song on YouTube – beautiful title, it’s called Shearer is a wanker! So are Australians
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If there’s any Geordie’s out there ,could you please enlighten me as to why yowes erected a fucking statue for the bawbag? I know he scored goals for yowes but he never won fuck all with yowes. I wish him and Danny Mills were caught fucking each other by Chris waddle and he set fire to the cunts….
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Harry Balls keeps moaning about the way we sound down here, but if there is one accent garaunteed to fuck people off, it’s got to be Geordie. Always shouted at you at a thousand words a minute, the unintelligible thick cunts should be removed from the face of the Earth.
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And when the stupid cunts venture abroad, they insist on wearing Newcastle United shirts, just in case you didn’t already know where the wankers come from. Not exactly prime ambassadors for your country are they?
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Sorry Kiwicunt to offend, I was fuming, but loving your slagging of of geordies! And your spot on with the wearing of Newcastle tops. Go to Newcastle airport and you can guarantee that the geordies will be travelling with them on there backs, at least it acts as a deterrent to no if you see that black and white top you no not to approach them! To be fair though, there’s some canny geordies!
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Geordies sound like angry Ewoks
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No offence taken Harry. This humble website gives us all a chance to vent our spleens (especially towards the Aussies and Geordies apparently). Just be prepared to take some flak in return! I think as long as we don’t make personal insults towards fellow cunters then most anything goes.
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At least we both have sumit in common, we are both miserable cunts! For future slagging people from sunderland are called mackems, we get angry if we are called geordies so that might help in future flak!
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Our name for the Australians is Ocker. Fucked if I know, but it seems to piss them off. Throw that one around next time you encounter a convict on the run.
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I’ll remember that the next time I come across one! I alway though Ockers are meant to be layed back and chilled out, this one was a cunt. Keep on the cunting, Ant and Dec, Russell Brand and Eddie Izzard are my top 3 cunts… Maybe that could be the next topic, whose your top 3 cunts! Keith Lemon must be there aswell!
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It can vary, but my Top 3 Cunts at this moment are
Wayne Rooney
Judge Rinder (I want to slap the cunt with a cricket bat!)
Kanye West and his slut of a wife (OK,that’s 4!)
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I know we have Cunt of the Year but maybe Cunt of the Month might be an idea as a new feature. Coming straight in at number 3 Vein Rooney and down two places to 15 its Macca because he’s a scouser. Ok cunt pickers here’s the full rundown this week.
Ooh fuck me I’ve come over all Jo Whileyish as opposed to cumming all over Jo Whiley.
Wheres me meds?
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Lenny Henry (top of my list)
Graham Norton (he is such a mincing cunt)
Bob Geldolf (top cunt)
one for luck
Benderdick Cunterpatch (now there is a right royal cunt)
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I reckon Fat Sam Allardyce is cunt of the month for September… Also that squawking fat cow, Adele is a strong (massive?) candidate….
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See the deadpool for mine.
Tuheitia Paki (the Maori King), Hone Harawira and his stupid cunt of a mother Titiwhai Harawira. They mean nothing to you lot, but trust me when I say they are cunts of the highest order.
One day I’ll get around to explaining why, but it’s lunchtime here and I’ve got a decent bottle of red with my name on it so good night or good day, whichever.
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Ah, John and Tabitha Hadfield. They’ve gone a bit quiet since they discovered that only 0.5% of your population would vote for John. Still, have Tabitha’s other sons allegedly caused the death of anymore mentally ill youngsters in their culturally appropriate care? Does Tabitha still insist on steering Jonkey into a protest each Waitangi day?
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Every fucking year. It’s not as if he doesn’t know what’s going to happen either. What grips mine and everyone else’s shit is that cunty Titiwhai doesn’t have the right to lead anyone onto the Marae as she’s not part of that Iwi. Nothing but a self entitled mouthy cunt, with an equally mouthy cunt for a son. He’d sell his soul to the devil (if he hasn’t already) just for a few column inches of news print.
A friend of mine worked with cunt Hone’s son, and he said that the twat kept giving it all the “do you know who my dad is?” routine. When told “No but he sounds like a cunt”, would get all fired up and stomp off. Fucking useless the lot of them.
Now where the fuck has that wine gone ?
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Early hours Kiwicunt, just after 1am
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Norman, Rinder would get a cricket bat to, as always been the angry cunt that I am, my cricket bat would have rusty nails in it!
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Judge Rinder
The only thing he has ever judged is the ‘how many cucumbers can you fit in your arse competition’ held every night at G.A.Y in London and then back to Rinders for some good old fashioned bum fisting, Just ask Micheal Barrymore & Stewart Lubbock, oh wait, you cant ask Lubbock, he’s six feet under with an arsehole the size of a dinner plate after that party at Barrymore’s
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Can I give a cunting to sofa retailers. Order your sofa NOW for guaranteed Christmas delivery! It’s fucking September you money grabbing cunts.
How long does it take some small fingered Asian child to sew the cushions? If you can’t deliver a three piece suite in three months you don’t deserve to be in business,
And why would I think, fuck me, best get my sofa order in quick just to make sure it’s there for sitting on to watch The Sound Of Music? A sofa is not something I would buy on a whim. Hard pressing cunts the lot.
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Those fucking furniture companies with their buy now for Christmas delivery are con artists, they are essentially not holding any stock as it takes up huge space and costs a lot in stock and warehouse storage, so they do these scams till they get enough orders to justify shipping 250 sofas over from Asia.
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BREXIT deserves a cunting.
WE all knew that the government would try something to get out of the Brexit vote.
And Theresa May has just announced it:
Even though WE voted to leave the EU, Theresa May has stated that ALL EU LAW will be enshrined into BRITISH LAW
Yeah right, that sounds like a Brexit to me, it’s the fucking EU bureaucratic law that is the fucking problem, not the fucking common market which was the lie to get us in to Europe.
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