Cyclists [4]


Cyclists, especially big girls’ blouses who cycle on the fucking pavement… get on the sodding road, you shrivelled-up CUNTS !!!!

And monocyclists, just TOO bloody mean to cough up for two-wheelers. Get back to the circus, it’s Leo the lion’s snack time, you twatmong little pricks.

Nominated by: HBelinda Hubbard

15 thoughts on “Cyclists [4]

  1. i think you should be allowed to carry a brolly and whenever a cunt cycling on the pavement comes anywhere near you jam it in his front wheel,in fact that would make a great Olympic sport….it can be called cunt jousting……id happily watch endless hours of that……rather than 2 homms diving……another idea the cycling can be given marks out of ten for style and damage…..1 for a hand scuff up to 10 for a collar bone or front teeth………CUNTS

  2. I am so sick of nearly being run down by some twat on a bike cycling on the pavment, My husband uses a walking stick because he broke his spine 5 years ago and has a multitude of metal work holding the whole thing together he is lucky to still be able to walk, and these pricks come flying down the pavement either behind or towards you no care for the pedestrians, IT’S A FUCKING PAVEMENT NOT A PISSING CYCLE LANE YOU CUNT GET OFF AND WALK! But no they are all in such a hurry to get home , but don’t want to sit in traffic so don’t drive a car, they just endanger pedestrians instead. If there is no official cycle path STAY ON THE ROAD you wankers. They ride up behind you tinkling those stupid bells or peeping horns , and practically make you jump in the road into the path of on coming traffic just so they can zoom by . Fuckers.

  3. Cycling cunts on the road when there is a perfectly good cycle lane literally 10 yards away from them are a special breed of cunt. Probably fucking riding two abreast and all.

  4. As a resident of a university town, I’d like to add the specific sub-section of student cyclist cunts who use their phones rather than pay any attention to the surrounding traffic. When these cunts get knocked down, it’s always the motorist who pays the price, never the fucktard student simpletons too busy checking their latest status update or LOL-ing @ Chris Moyles to look where the fuck they are going.

    • This is very true. Sadly there has been a plague of these cyclist cunts in just about every town, village and city in the UK. I’ve also observed the standard issue checking their phone every two seconds for updates and followers. Footpaths are for pedestrians, but these ponces seem to believe that idea doesn’t apply to them because they’re “edgy and different”. Yes indeed….they’re cunts.

      When they aren’t in their lycra gimp suits, they’re usually to be found strutting around with a perfectly clipped short hipster beard, perfect “never done a day’s practical graft in their life” manicured fingernails and the standard weapon of choice…a leather “manbag” which contains their facial moisturiser, coffee shop points card, iPad, nail varnish, bottle of Immac, tube of thrush-cream, hanky to wipe away their new-age tears over a sugarsoaked romantic chickflick (or whatever the cunt they call them nowadays?) and a cycling wank magazine. Cunting hell.

      Very sadly, the days of the real man are now laid in the dust. Homo Hipster Erectus has now come of age, during the period now known as the Pussified Era. What in the name of living fuck has happened? Christ help us.

  5. I would like to nominate all of Team GB for a cunting.

    Gone are the days of Joe Bloggs donning a tracksuit and taking a run or a swim for their country as amateaurs and picking up a medal at the end.

    Its no longer the global school sports day.

    The cost for Andy Murray to grunt Cmon to himself every fucking miniute – 4.7 Million. Mohammad Somali Farrah, x 2, Cost 9.4 million. The manbun cunt Louis Smith, spare time Strictly Come Dancing cunt, ching up another 4.7. Every other cunt 4.7 per medal.

    All for what? To beat a chinaman over a line? Spin off a Diving platform or Gym Beam with your shower mate. Or a cunt over a blike track?

    I see now they fly home in a gold painted 747. I bet the cunts didnt chip in for that ticket either.

    I wander – if it is such Univesity Education needs to be paid back at 4.7 % per annum, why these cunts would not be garnished at least from endorsements they get to do this, to pay something back. 4.7 is a lot to pay a cunt to feel amazing at the end.

    Albeit from the National Lottery, I am sure some other cunt can do with 67 x 4.7 million plus a gold plane to get home more than these cunts.

    Its not as if any of these cunts are short of a bob to start with.


  6. Cyclists are true cunts,but hats off to them for being able to ride the bloody things.
    I decided after a night on the Guiness,topped off by a bottle of port that I would “borrow” the landlords daughters’ bike to get home. The fact that I hadn’t been on a bike for thirty years didn’t deter me and I mounted the fucking contraption more keenly than I’ve ever mounted the wife.
    That was where my problems started. It’s a bloody long and steep hill from the pub and I picked up speed quicker than my feet could stay on the pedals,the brakes did fuck-all and I swear by the time I hit the five-bar gate at the bottom I was going faster than an illegal immigrant into the benefits office.
    The landlord swallowed my story of me being knocked over by a pikey-looking type riding a pushbike when I went back a few days later covered in grazes and bruises,and knowing what an idle bastard I am,nobody dreamed that it was me pedalling a pushbike. I did feel a bit guilty about his daughter,she was only 12,and still believes that some fucking gypo trashed her bike.
    Just shows, I’d only been a cyclist for a matter of minutes,and I’d become a full- bore cunt.

    • I’ve searched PornHub for variations of this theme with no joy,and all the time videos of my predilection were on fucking youtube. The tissues I’ve wasted on inferior golden shower vids when this is available is shocking. Cheers S.E.

      • Su… fucking…perb ! …. and the next thing the Cunt would expect you to do if you meet him is shake his fucking hand.

  7. Plenty of cunts out this way, most of then though seem to be on their way to the gp for their methadone or to the job centre to withdraw some more of my hard earned cash.
    And every single cunt appears to “own” a bike that belongs to an 11 year old.

  8. Make these cunts buy insurance as well. Cunts cause accidents and have no insurance. Who pays ? the poor fucking motorist again !
    The 2 wheeled fuckers are also colour blind. Red means stop you cunts, not ride slowly into the junction looking all around. Always someone else’s fault when you get knocked over isn’t it you utter,utter cunts.

  9. Fuck yes, spot on cunting.

    Only the other day I was nearly hit by some knobhead cycling along the pavement while browsing his mobile phone. I tried to step out of the way but the gormless pillock suddenly changed direction and nearly collided with me. it’s a good job I’m quick on my feet otherwise he would have had a dented bike – and a dented face to go with it.

  10. Cyclist on two lane a roads with nowhere to overtake and fucking great big artics swerving to avoid the cunts. No problem their lycra armour and a camera mounted on their helmet lie a wart on a festering cockend will protect them form a fucking HGV.

    Selfish self righteous cunts

  11. Having visited Cambridge on quite a few occasions I realised the place was teeming with cyclists which are of an even more dangerous nature than the lycra clad, fitness fad for a couple of months, bellends …these are University types, head full of brains but devoid of any common fucking sense.
    I’d warned my very young daughter of the dangers of these Cunts and ‘expect the unexpected’ as they dart over pavements etc etc oblivious to any pedestrian that is unfortunate enough to get in their way ….. the crowning moment was when an ancient ‘silver haired’ Miss Jean Brodie type of Cunt, obviously heading to / from her allotment came cranking out of a blind park entrance on the footpath with her four pronged garden fork strapped to the top bar of her bike, spikes at least a foot out the front of her handlebars, totally oblivious to the leathal injuries could inflict on any unfortunate punter unlucky enough to get in her way. Gone in a split second and too quick for me to stick something in her spokes so I could have a word with her and wrap her fork round her fucking neck…. Cyclists on pavements ”cause the road is too dangerous’ … utter, utter Cunts !

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