Mick Jagger [2]

The Glastonbury Festival 2013

‘Sir’ Mick Jagger is a cunt…

Any other 72 year old who got a 29 year old woman up the duff would be called a dirty old cunt…. And that’s what he is… The old knobhead is pathetic… He’s so vain and full of that ‘Peter Pan’ bollocks that he can’t go out with a woman of his own age group, as he probably thinks he’s the man and that it’s beneath him…

That other wrinkled old prune, Rod Stewart is similar: a lecherous old cunt who shags birds young enough to be his daughter… And Hugh Hefner, with his harem of peroxide, plastic titted prozzies… Dirty old cunts….

Nominated by: Norman

Lucy Beaumont

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Lucy Beaumont – she ticked all the boxes to win the BBC Radio 2 new comic of the year in 2012 , unfunny and female and utterly shit. She has even had her own series on BBC radio lately and it was eye-wateringly unfunny.

A sound reason for the scrapping of the shitfest that is the BBC.

Nominated by: One Hull of a Cunt

The Bletchley Circle

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Those tight-fisted, boring, miserable cunts at Bletchley Park really are a bunch of fucking Scrooge McDuck cunts, aren’t they?

Finding a rare, and therefore presumably somewhat valuable, Nazi cipher coding machine innocuously for sale on eBay for the paltry sum of £9.50 (obviously listed by an unsuspecting seller with no idea what they were sitting on), these cunts don’t place a bid but rather hotfoot it straight ’round to the seller’s house as fast as their arthritic yet greedy legs will carry ’em and essentially swindle the seller out of her nest egg, thus – “We said ‘Thank you very much, how much was it again?’ She said ‘£9.50’, so we said ‘Here’s a £10 note – keep the change!’”

Supercilious, smarmy old coffin dodgin’ bastards. Here you go, decipher this with yer ill-gotten gains, then: #*¥但^_^

… oh, fuck it, I’ll save you the effort… it reads CUNTS!

Nominated by: Cunty McCuntface

Bono [11]

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I think it’s time to give Bono a good cunting again….

For a start there’s his ‘Britain should remain in the EU’ shite… Like it’s anything to do with a tax dodging Irish cunt who lives in the South of France, Malibu and Paddywood (the posh part of Dublin)…

Then there he is bleating about the environment, yet he charters a jumbo jet to fly his hat to him… A whole 747 travelling thousands of miles and burning fuel for a fucking hat!

Not to mention him hounding an ex-U2 crew member and dragging her through the courts over a pair of trousers and another hat… Seriously, he more or less ruined this woman over a pair of his smelly old keks and one of those ‘Look at me! I’m a prick!’ stetsons he wears…He is a kilimanjaro sized cunt…

Bono’s wife is a fucking bellend too…

Nominated by: Norman

Rebecca Johnson

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I’d like to nominate Dr Rebecca Johnson of the Green party after hearing her on the radio advocating against the replacing of Trident submarines.

With an almost religious fervour she breathlessly defends her position by stating that no country would dare to use nuclear weapons against us because we have an army and they’d get hurt. She also says that universal disarmament will happen anyway before we’ve finished building these subs, so it will all be a waste of money.

It’s not only crackpots like Putin and Kim Jong-un we’ve got to worry about, it’s our own home-grown loonies as well.

Nominated by: Allan