Suffering from a spot of PTSD, I’m currently unemployed and struggling with day to day life. Best thing is a change and all, and having previously cunted Sheffield, Bin men, cunts that don’t park considerably, cunts that don’t stop at red lights, potholes, and socialist teacher type cunts, generally all the stuff making my life a misery, I decided to sell up and move to the Country to be around a different set of cunts, hopefully like minded cunts at that.
Obviously selling up means tarting the house up a bit, which I don’t mind. Except when it comes to the garden, I am fortunate enough to have a nice space in my current house and I generally enjoy. But the problem is all the fucking singleton, cat owning cunts around here who think now the spring has arrived, kitty should not be lounging in the house and proceed to lock said beast outdoors, all day.
The result is shitting contests taking place between Mr Fox and the local cats, so my raised beds and herb garden are littered with particularly pungent, faeces on regular basis. I did try collecting it and placing on the doorstep of the owners but the fuckers have taken to doing it at night, making faecal tracing a little difficult. I grew up in the country, I don’t mind the stench of old Reynard’s shit, a bucket of human piss is suffice to put pay to his territorial markings, but not so with the Feline. Those little cunts are impossible to deal with once they start.
‘But they are cats, you can’t control where they roam’ is the usual cry. Well, fuck you if thats your opinion. Its your Cat, and its a domestic animal, the clue is in the name. Domestic basically means household, like Domestic Plants for example, which live in the house. Ergo, so should kitty. That is indeed what litter boxes are for. But dirty cunts don’t want to clean up after kitty, they are happy for that business to happen elsewhere, as long as life is easy for said pet owner.
Fuck what the law says, as far as I am concerned its your pet, therefore its only a domestic pet when its on your property, the minute it ventures on to mine and its presence is undesired, it will be treated as vermin and dealt with accordingly. Silenced .177HMR should be pretty effective. It costs £65 to get an animal cremated at the vets, and I will get the receipt and bill the fucking neighbours for it. I tried catching them and dropping them off in a different county, (one little kitty went all the way to Redruth, long way from up north) but the cunts just mourn it for a week and put up posters, before getting another a few weeks later. Maybe this approach will be more effective.
Dirty, lazy, inconsiderate cunts.
Nominated by: The Captain
Agree with you Captain. Over here we catch problem cats in possum traps. Once the cat goes into the trap it can’t turn around to get back out, making it nice and easy to dispose of the cunty creature, however one sees fit. Drowning is a popular choice. Tough fuck to the owners too. If I kept shitting in their yard I’d expect consequences, so why shouldn’t they when kitty does it in mine? I expect some whiny response to this but fuck cats and their cunt owners.
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Not guilty. My cat shits in the litter box. She doesn’t always cover it up, which is annoying. But I agree, ‘owners’ who lock their cats out all day, or lock their cats in all day for that matter, are cunts.
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Our cat was an indoor cat too, lost her last year, even though the money grabbing bastard vet told me that her tumour had gone. She asked to use her litter tray, was very clean, and made me laugh until I cried when I played with her. Anyone seeing their cat running up the hallway on their front legs will agree.
Most of the neighbours around here also keep their cats inside because of some sad cunt that is going around killing cats, foxes, and rabbits. She was happy all day with company, she was only alone at night when we were sleeping, and she knew where her tray was.
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Little known fact – the best defense against some-cunt-else’s cat shitting in your garden is a cat of your own. The little fuckers never shit in their own garden but are defensively territorial.
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Not sure if an urban myth, but someone told me that getting lion or tiger shit or piss from a local zoo and placing on the edge of your property works a treat.
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Not guilty either because my cat is obviously no longer with us but she was mostly a inside cat anyway and I’m getting a new dog as replacement. I wouldn’t bother getting a new pet but my sis has this beautiful purebred pup thats well trained and schooled, I get her tomorrow actually arrives by plane. Although I haven’t seen a shitting contest before, it sounds fucking mental. https://youtu.be/cFrzYenTnzE
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Jean-Claude Juncker is a cunt! President of the European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker has been accused of intimidation for warning British voters that “deserters will not be welcomed with open arms”. Sounds like intimidation to me too…
Now, however, he has used an interview with the French newspaper Le Monde to offer stark views on the matter, saying: “If the British leave Europe, people will have to face the consequences.” Hmm sounds like a threat and the strength of the comments are all the more surprising given the fact that to date the European Commission has been careful not to undermine the UK referendum campaign.
Once again we see that the EU is held together only by blackmail, bribery, manipulation and threats. Well Done Juncker you goat fucking bellend!
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They’re getting fucking desperate now.
They know they are fucked without our cash and they use us as a dumping ground for the scum of the earth.
The EU can go and fuck itself along with any traitorous piece of shit that votes to remain.
If you love being in Europe so much you bunch of thundercunt cowards, why don’t you fucking move there?
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is this by any chance the same jean-claude cunter that, about six weeks ago, actually admitted that the eu had gone too far, and that many things should have been handled at national government level (or totally bitched up by the national gov., depending which way you look at it)?
Now, I do not like hamoron, ids (doesn’t that little acronym sound like some messy terminal illness??!) &c., but at least I can identify their ugly faces. Half of this Brussels crowd really ARE faceless, which re. their personal safety, is just as well…
If, by a miracle, we DO get out, I can see us being shat upon from a great height at every available opportunity. We will be punished. Ronald Raygun, you are forgiven, even for your movies!! “Tonight, we carpet-bomb the Eeu hq…”
As ever, us, the “little man”, just gets fucked over again and again and again.
On to cats…the BIG ones! Santiago zoo are CUNTS for shooting their lions. Now, I guess that having a lion crap in your back yard is no laughing matter, but it’s not happened to me; however, I have had people running across the back garden. This guy was a suicide case. Saves the zoo money on lion food for a couple of days. Aren’t lions also a little rare? Btw, when I lived in Norfolk, we had the cat-crap problem, and bought a deterrent, it was dessicated lion turds!! Didn’t work… maybe as previously commented, other methods are more effective.
I, for one, have no wish to see Emma Thompson’s or Emma Watson’s pussies in my back yard…
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Far right looks like it is getting in with a nice Nazi in Austria now. Sound familiar? Hitler started orf all cuddly as well. The Merkel masterplan revealed? Lurch Europe to the right by flooding it with untermensch and out orf the reaction against it create The Fourth Reich.
As for pusscats, feed ’em crap and they’ll give you crap ie foul smelling bloated shite. Give the buggers real meat to eat and water to drink and they’ll produce small dark relatively odour free shite. They stay a lot healthier as well. It is the crap in commercial cat food that does it – soya, colouring and flavouring. If it looks and smells like McDonalds it craps like McDonalds.
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“Create the Fourth Reich” Limpers?
The EU IS the Fourth Reich!
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Very well. At the Aryan Dawn awakes the Fifth Reich (they’ll get it right one orf these Reichs)
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But will we be allowed to leave even if the vote is out? Somehow I doubt it. Too many influential snouts in the trough plus thanks partly to those actor and celebrity cunts sticking their collective oar in Project Fear seems to be working very well anyway. Apologies if that seems a bit pessimistic by the way…
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Me and the missus are not cunts, and we have a cat. (its her’s)
He’s a hardy little cunt too, kak’s in his litter box always, and like somebody mentioned above, – Keeps other cats the fuck out of our place by using violence.
Little cunt lost his right eye last year giving a masive cunting to a (bigger) cat from another street, who was moving in on his turf.
Needless to say that cunt never came back for another cunting.
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We have solved that problem as our dog is not a cat lover 😉 we let it out when a cat so much as peers over the fence and they are off like a rocket. It’s more effective than rigging buckets of water all over the garden to tip on the offending felines when they come to crap and it’s a darn sight easier too.
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Cats are vermin and their owners are one-eyed cunts. My dogs don’t run loose, shit everywhere and kill birds, frogs and reptiles for fun but it is ok for some dear pussy to do so.
In the front garden they get a water blaster and in the back they take their chances with a .22 rifle.
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