Its not here yet but a few thoughts, Christmas is just another day, celebrated by a micro minority who actually believe in a faith, celebrated by a mass of consumer brain washed morons and ignored by quite a few people.
So we have a day, 24 hours in which everything has to be perfect.
Now my day to day life is not perfect and it doesn’t fuck my year up, I had a right shit meal at the Harvester last night, but I don’t think its an omen of things to come.
World peace? now thats another fine concept, we can take the day off from killing each other, thing is I get bored easily so a quick burst on the HMG on boxing day does me the world of good, just to get things rolling again.
Perhaps most of all do you know the top selling item at Christmas?
Toilet seats, well that sums it all up millions of households treat themselves to a new bog seat to impress their relatives, bunch of cunts.
Just goes to prove christmas is a load of shit.
Nominated by: Lord Benny
Fuck off you cunts…..it’s April.
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not on my planet it isnt, every day is christmas!
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Time to get that shrapnel removed from the old brain box Benny. They can do it while you wait nowdays.
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Phil Neville is due another cunting… We all know about how this spineless cunt didn’t stand by his friend, boss and mentor, David Moyes, when he took all the shit (and the sack) at Man United… Neville just did his ‘Nuthin’ to do with me, guv’nor!’ routine and stayed in his job (until LVG kicked him out, that is)….
Forward to 2016…. His brother, Gary, has just been sacked by Dago Mickey Mouse club, Valencia… Now, some might say that the done thing for Phil Neville to have done would have been to say ‘If our kid goes, then I go!’ Not Phil though… He has stayed at Valencia in his ‘coaching’ role while Gaz got the boot… Phil Neville is a total fucker… Brutus has nothing on this little cunt…
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I would like to cunt Cat owners.
Suffering from a spot of PTSD, I’m currently unemployed and struggling with day to day life. Best thing is a change and all, and having previously cunted Sheffield, Bin men, cunts that don’t park considerably, cunts that don’t stop at red lights, potholes, and socialist teacher type cunts, generally all the stuff making my life a misery, I decided to sell up and move to the Country to be around a different set of cunts, hopefully like minded cunts at that.
Obviously selling up means tarting the house up a bit, which I don’t mind. Except when it comes to the garden, I am fortunate enough to have a nice space in my current house and I generally enjoy. But the problem is all the fucking singleton, cat owning cunts around here who think now the spring has arrived, kitty should not be lounging in the house and proceed to lock said beast outdoors, all day.
The result is shitting contests taking place between Mr Fox and the local cats, so my raised beds and herb garden are littered with particularly pungent, faeces on regular basis. I did try collecting it and placing on the doorstep of the owners but the fuckers have taken to doing it at night, making faecal tracing a little difficult. I grew up in the country, I don’t mind the stench of old Reynard’s shit, a bucket of human piss is suffice to put pay to his territorial markings, but not so with the Feline. Those little cunts are impossible to deal with once they start.
‘But they are cats, you can’t control where they roam’ is the usual cry. Well, fuck you if thats your opinion. Its your Cat, and its a domestic animal, the clue is in the name. Domestic basically means household, like Domestic Plants for example, which live in the house. Ergo, so should kitty. That is indeed what litter boxes are for. But dirty cunts don’t want to clean up after kitty, they are happy for that business to happen elsewhere, as long as life is easy for said pet owner.
Fuck what the law says, as far as I am concerned its your pet, therefore its only a domestic pet when its on your property, the minute it ventures on to mine and its presence is undesired, it will be treated as vermin and dealt with accordingly. Silenced .177HMR should be pretty effective. It costs £65 to get an animal cremated at the vets, and I will get the receipt and bill the fucking neighbours for it. I tried catching them and dropping them off in a different county, (one little kitty went all the way to Redruth, long way from up north) but the cunts just mourn it for a week and put up posters, before getting another a few weeks later. Maybe this approach will be more effective.
Dirty, lazy, inconsiderate cunts.
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you might want to add the lazy cunty dog owners around aldershot who drive down the training area open their car doors and say “off you go fido, have a shit” wankers the lot of them the car parks are protected by turd studded mine fields.
The recruits training on the area will probably look back on the expearinace with disgust (exercise dog shit, the day I covertly crawled 2 miles over multiple piles of dog shit) on the plus side they are probably more switched on about where they place their feet than their forebarers where, so usefull for the current deployment enviroments.
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Just send the little bleeders to tory party hq – I’m sure that they can think of something to do with them (when they run out of dead pigs)…
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