The alpha male

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alpha-male-neckbeard

Just been to visit my nephew and his wife and kids. This isn’t showing much family loyalty but I’m sorry to have to report he is actually a flash cunt.

Firstly to quote ‘You know how I paid for this watch ?’ Me- ‘no’. Him £15,000′. I think this was supposed to impress. Dear oh dear.

Then he starts telling me about his job. He is ‘something in sales’. He tells me how he spends all day getting people to buy services they don’t really need and how this boosts his commission. ‘I’m on £80,000 atm should be up to £100,000 next year.’

To cap it all we then go for a drive in his executive motor. Fuck me! You know those knob heads who tail gate? That’s him. He actually said ‘Oi little man in your little car get out my way’ whilst flashing his lights and bibbing his hooter. He also took great delight in over taking cars as close as possible and I mean about 2 inches. All this with his 2 kids in the back.

I told him he was driving like a cunt only to be told ‘ I know what I’m doing.’ A prime example of the ’alpha male’.

Nominated by: Ozmandias

40 thoughts on “The alpha male”

  1. this guy sounds like an ubacunt to me,the only saving grace is one day a proper alfa male will kick his fucking teeth in on the side of the motorway after being run into the back of, and the headlites on his merc s class and then nick his rolex,maybe the cunt will rethink his life before his mrs is fucking the pool boy and then divorces him and takes everything so the cunt ends up living in a cardboard box……….carma is coming ubacunt get ready

  2. Sounds like a typical Audi/Merc/Panzer driver to me. Gentle application of a jack handle or spare motorcycle chain to his teeth would be highly educational…

  3. I agree he sounds like a right little cunt.I’d run rings round him as I can spot these pricks from a mile off. Also Ill wager he has a small penis.

  4. This bloke isn’t an alpha anything, he’s a tit. Low self-esteem makes these idiots desperate to prove themselves. We’ve all seen them, we’ve all worked with them, they’re boring pathetic cunts. The more they try to impress, the more obvious their inadequacy becomes.

    • Usually the Audi is on finance, the whole household is run by maxing out numerous credit cards and there’s fuck all in the fridge… all so they can have a larger house and new car on the drive to appear wealthier than some obnoxious Brother-in-Law or other relation/work colleague.

      • Usually the Audi is a shitty 2 litre diesel.

        Nobody would have such a shite engine if they were actually buying the car.

  5. He sounds like he is getting carried away with his good fortune and showing zero class by clumsily showing off. I rarely advocate violence but a swift kick in his nuts wouldn’t go amiss and whilst he’s doubled up groaning with his eyes watering you whisper in his ear “grow up son, you’re making an embarrassing cunt of yourself”

    • I like your style: Voice of reason (Fundamentalist chapter). Come on Oz you know you want to do it; I know it’ll mean no Chrizy cards and no party invites, but look on the bright side: the wife’ll not speak to you for a while.

  6. The neckbeard is like the king beta male among geeks and dweebs if not for his fatness and lazyness but seriously I hate neckbeards they look like monkeys or bloody caveman more like. Alpha Males are definitely show offs but tis life the unfortunate thing is western society rewards cowardice and lazyness plus with feminisms bint cunting glare, men have less of a reason to be self sufficient and proud.

  7. I think you are confused.com

    Surely every man wishes to be an alpha male strong,confident, and manly

    Or would you rather be a limp waisted pansy who drinks soya,eats tofu and wears women’s jeans?
    Sort it out you cunt

  9. The only trouble with alpha males is their capacity to try and outdo each other, bit like sharing the bar with a dozen top predators at once, only one will ‘win’, usually a very hollow victory as the other competitors knock shit out of him as he triumphantly sneaks off.
    They are like school bullies, insecure, spoilt bastards, vain, style (sic) over substance, shallow, liars and cheats.
    Mrs Cameron should know, she mistakenly married one of the cunts.

    • ‘ Something in sales ‘ isn`t an alpha male at all, just a puffed up pansy clerk who can`t even drive his penis substitute wagon by the sounds of it. As has been mentioned he`ll find his place in the food chain when he goes into the back of someone harder. Probably a girlie. Or a little man. His commission, his watch and his car are all bestowed by someone else, someone called the boss: one of those flash cunts who has the assets in his relatives names, who slides out of the fire escape as the administrators are coming in the front door. Wait a short while, Mr Ozymandias and you`ll see your sad little dweeb noddy pen pusher clerk of a nephew ending up catching the bus and phone bashing for some other bunch of cunts

  10. The holy trinity of being the alpha cunt is expensive golf club membership that anyone who isn’t a cunt will never have heard of.
    A twat panzer (german motor), usually in white (are you a fucking hairdresser?) and of course the big gaudy watch that looks like a fucking carriage clock decorated with sequins by a five year old.

    I eat cunts like this for breakfast……and then pop round to fuck their wife while they frequent the arsehole farm (golf course).

  11. Chuck an alligator through his window, popular in Florida I believe. Fucking priceless prank, I like his style.

  12. Some of you might find this odd, but as I get older I find young women less attractive…

    Perhaps it’s a bit like I feel I’d be shagging my daughter?

    • Not so much that D.

      Its just that they’re thick as pigshit and act like drunken football hooligans on a night out.

      Personally the lowest I could go is 28. The age of my kid sister.

      Anything younger and I would feel like a Rotherham muslim.

    • Actually makes alot of sense also young girls have shite manners just abunch of giggly mean cunts with bad taste in everything aside from fashion. I think we all feel a bit like travis bickle from taxi driver when we see a young girl being taken advantage of. Is it me but does it seem like alot of feminist types like douchebag over-aggressive alpha types yet they complain about sexism fucking strange cunts if you ask me. Also don’t get me started on tattoo culture with girls on the back above the belly on the arms I like a bit of the au natural too many tattoos kills natural beauty I’m sure it would look horrible later on in life.

    • Know what you mean Dio.

      Always fancied the young older woman since as a wee feller I was mesmerized as a leather clad Honor Blackman Avengeress (Avengertrix?), in an effort to escape a broken lift, climbed up the TV screen clad in a very tight leather suit and disappeared in a frenzy of very pointed stiletto heels cast the die for me. A ‘honorary’ aunt next door, quite a few years my senior………………..well.

  13. He sounds a right cunt, I used to work with cunts like that, all Armani suits, designer stubble (lazy cunts) Rolex’s, new Audi’s every year and £200 a day coke habits.
    I was coining in £110k a year in my mid 30’s and never wasted it on shit over-priced cars, watches, jewelry or other pointless fucking extravagances like a 8 bedroom house and 6 holidays a year! (I did do a lot of coke though lol, usually work colleagues, haha)
    That’s how come I am now retired and I am not even 50 yet 🙂

      • Worst attempted trolling everrrr spicy meat head sockpuppet, clumsy and smacked of effort….step over the threshold….make a difference….kill your family….then kill yourself, I hope this helps 🙂

      • That’s it – ladle it on to the fucking East Midland, the centre of mediocrity, motability scooters and gastric bands. I’m thoroughly ashamed to have been ‘born’ in Derby, home to a massive range of bookshelves in WHS on how to pass your citizenshit exam and con the dole office. Mind you, there used to be some excellent ding dongs when Derby County ‘played’ Forest, a veritable bloodbath. Cloughie once bought me a pint, top man.

      • You do not need to be on TV to earn £110k a year!
        You really believe only TV presenters, actors & footballers earn that kind of money?

        Never mind ‘my dick is huge’, only two more days till giro day, then you can drink 12 cans of Special Brew to allay your inner self loathing.

      • Lets face it, posting “I was coining in £110k a year in my mid 30’s” has a cuntish smell about it which ever way you look at it. Why post that & not expect a reaction m8? If you’re not a cunt, because you didn’t spend it on cuntish things, you’d also probably not have to announce it on a public forum.

  14. Dude……… I disagree – the term “Alpha Male” should be both earned and deserved in equal measure. I think the word you are looking for to describe this cunt is cunt…….. you came to the right place.

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