This daft bitch wants to have a night out in Cologne, and she’s probably a ‘feminist’ because no (sane) bloke will go fucking near it… It’s when one sees twats like this that we know the human race is eventually doomed…
Nominated by: Norman
It’s a pity Time Team went the way it did as it was a diamond in a sea of shit, but why did we have to suffer the cuntishness of Harding with his: effected accent, his manky hair, those goat teeth, that scabby cowboy hat and his Village People shorts when all we watched Time Team for is to better understand our historical heritage, that and the down top shots of the young fillies. As soon as one of the bit players found something interesting good ol’ Phil could be relied on to trench hop, shame his grandsire didn’t display the same tendency at the Somme. Who does he think he is: Indiana fekin’ Jones? The grand high mugwump of Wessex university (where the fuck is Wessex?) was a cringe worthy Cunt of the first watter; a nowhere man from a nowhere land who, along with his hook nosed front man, should have been used as props in a re-enactment of the medieval punishment dished out to heretics. One faggot each, form a line on the left.
One of his better quotes:
“Oh arr, arr, arr, I TOLD YOU! Arr, a wall, arr, arr, arr. IN MY TRENCH! arr, tessera, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Beer?”
Phil Harding: you are a Cunt, good riddance.
Nominated by: King Cnut
As we all know, a couple of months back Camelot to decided to cheat. They increased the price of a single line to £2, and increased the numbers from 49 to 59. They told everyone that it meant it would be easier to win. The problem Camelot had with that blatant lie, is that anyone with even a basic knowledge of mathematics would know that if you increase the numbers in a lottery, you increase the odds of winning. That means, it actually becomes harder to win. Especially the jackpot. Which has been brilliantly proven by the fact that the jackpot has now just had its fourteenth fucking rollover.
Whilst looking at the prize breakdown, I noticed something else that Cumalot have started doing, that I had no idea about. If you get two numbers, instead of getting a small cash prize, you get a lucky dip. Big fucking deal. Considering the odds of anyone winning the jackpot are currently worse than the odds of the RMS Titanic sailing into New York, a free lucky dip is about as much use as a eunuch’s testicles.
And that’s not the only bullshit Cumalot have come up with. One of my dotty, yet endearing old aunts bought me five scratch cards as a Christmas present. I got a tenner on one, fuck all on two more, and then a free scratch card on each of the last two. Cumalot must think we’re all a bunch of morons. By giving out scratch cards instead of a cash prize, they’re actually saving money, because the chances of even winning with one of the free scratch cards are quite low. You might get lucky. Then again, a low flying elephant might shit on your head.
The board of directors at Camelot are a bunch of cheating, money grabbing thieves. I hope they all come home early one day and find their wives/husbands shagging a bull mastiff. Cunts.
Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw
Not only are 99% of them crap, they can’t sing or play, the cunts now use a CD of some other fucker’s work to make money… In Manchester and Bury there is this bloke ( a foreign cunt, there’s a surprise, eh?) who ‘plays’ the violin, but never plays it without his ‘backing track’… I knew the music instantly and note for note… It was a Mantovani album that my auntie Alice had when I was a kid… It was exactly the same fucking album…
The cheeky gyppo cunt actually left his ‘patch’ for a moment while Mantovani played on and the fiddle (very apt) lay stationary…. Funny last week when some lady fronted up the cheeky cunt… Like me she knew what the music was and that it wasn’t him playing it… The cunt went into righteous indignation mode squealing ‘I play! No! I play!’ But when she laid the Mantovani thing (names, title of album etc) on him it was suddenly ‘Me no speaky English! You racist!’ and all the other usual shite these Johnnies try to pull…
One day he’s going to get his fiddle shoved up his arse, the thieving gyppo cunt…
Nominated by: Norman
sob……
Nominated by: Fat Rich