Mastermind

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Mastermind. I thought the rule is that you’re only allowed one go at it. I remember Magnus Magnusson having to tell the viewers why one cheat had been disqualified in the 1980’s.

But recently there was a woman who had been on it a few years ago. Rachel Neiman. How did I recognise her? 1) She’s blind. 2) she’s very fat. 3) maybe more memorably, she has bright pink hair. She won, as well, although her specialist subject was some Radio 4 sitcom (a euphemism for SHITE) of few episodes. Mind you, her general knowledge was pretty good.

Still, seems against the spirit of the show. Unless the BBC intend to let her enter as many times as she wants until she wins the fucking thing. I emailed them earlier regarding this, but considering their history of openness and transparency regarding such things, my breath is not held.

Nominated by: Guardian Hater

54 thoughts on “Mastermind”

  1. I’ve just had an awful thought, perhaps she doesn’t know she has bright pink hair and is very fat. Well if no ones told her…

  2. Worse still is Celebrity Mastermind… With all these Z-Listers and ex-soap star cunts poncing about and trying to look clever…. Still not as bad as The Weakest Link though… Is Anne Robinson dead? If she isn’t then that’s a shame….

    • Celebrity “is-a-cunt” Mastermind would be a hoot though. ….. fuck me I’d even pay the TV License for that…..
      Imagine, top ‘liked’ commenters on here get to go head to head answering questions in the two categories; “Specialist Cunt”, i.e. you own nominated cunt, and “General Cuntitude”. In the event of a tie there is a play-off of “Top Cunts” (like Top Trumps) scored on the average comment tally of each post for each individual.
      I like it …….. get my agent on the phone I have to pitch this to the BBC

  3. Last time I went on Mastermind DC “Fuck-wit” was asking the questions. My mind may have wandered during the proceedings as I hadn’t a clue what he was on about but I may have visualised him with pink hair at some point, such is the strangeness of my imagination when bored.
    Needless to say nothing came of it, I don’t even know what the protest I had stumbled through in my quest for a Cappucccino was about.

  5. st georg and st pauli and shagged wogs and rats (thais)But when you take a girlie out to a gay bar NO PROBLEM WHAT SO EVER and you can enjoy WITHOUT A TURK

      • Yep. I know what you mean, but It’s Gobbledygook as wot is spoke by Prof Unwin. Didn’t learnybold you enting at schoollode?

        Perhaps it’s a metaphor for life on the net, or life in general. All that and Bb’s postings brighten my day.

      • He was on telly when i was a kid and the old man spoke a bit like him, but then he did have shell-shock after the North Africa campaign where he hit five rocks, a small bush and a passing camel in the whole two years he was there before he went stampeding up Italy in a state of confusion.
        I asked at grammar school if I could take it as a foreign language for O’level but Mr Wilkinson just gave me a hundred lines. …….. the cunt.

  6. What’s with the ‘Baby Jane’ outfits? Kiddies?

    And I bet the ugly fucking beast is on every welfare handout going.

    “Look at me – I’m blind” – what a cunt.

  9. To be fair to the BBC, I received a reply roughly a month after my complaint. Apparently you’re allowed to go on Mastermind again after about four years. Sounds like shite to me. There must be more new contenders than old ones. And
    she does dress like a fucking twat.

  10. Lest we forget myleene klass’s celebrity mastermind shocker in 2006 when she got all but one of her questions right in her specialist subject of ‘Sex in the City’ and then got all but one of her questions wrong or passed in the General knowledge round. I mean I suspected she would crash and burn as she’s not the brightest button on the jacket but the look on the thick cunts face was priceless as she monged her way from one to the next, best part is the questions were a piece of piss. Try and find it on youtube, I reckon she’s had it removed lol

    • Worse than that, her specialist subject was Sex And The City – SERIES THREE. The cunt.

      • She looked so fucking smug too, i’d be totally fucking ashamed to know so much about a sitcom about ugly slappers but she tried wearing it like a badge of honor until the general knowledge round reminded her what a dim bint she is that is

  11. YOUNG EARTH CREATIONISTS OR CREOTARDS/CUNTATIONISTS

    These fanatical cunts are among the most dishonest cowardly hypocrites you are likely to run into on the web. They are slowly infiltrating common sense with a view of destroying it, they are sneaky cunts too often to be found loitering around Science forums pretending to post a genuine thread but after a few replies they soon turn it around to some form of intelligent design bollocks. They are pretty much told what they can and can’t argue about on their various websites so as not to look foolish, they are campaigning against Evolution being taught in school science classes, they are told never to cite proof but use the word ‘evidence’ at every opportunity and last but not least when you corner one of these cunts in debate and they run out of answers they just nonchalantly throw in ‘well god works in mysterious ways’ like a utter cunting get out of jail free card.

    Please consider adding this subject for a good cunting.

    • Creationists are living proof of Intelligent Design. …….. Some smart arsed power whore dreamt it all up and programmed their spongy minds to spout it repeatedly and never question a single word, all the while giving a fair sized portion of their money for the rest of their lives to a bloke who lives in lavish splendour snorting crack cocaine off the small tits of underage prostitutes.

      • ….. Thankfully most of the creationalists are in America which is great by me. Here in UK we just have fucking idiots who still think the earth is flat, or our imported bretheren that you can spook out with a blanket in the middle of the night …… or a doll with a pin in it, that works quite well too.

      • You don’t snort crack you smoke it also you could get a infection and other possible problems. Also why bother slagging off christians? england became A stronger nation because of it. Now look where we are, we have atheists,muslims,paedos and liberal shit heads destroying the cuntry and they are just as radical if not more so.

      • I stand corrected; I never went down the drugs route………
        But some here in the UK (I never asked if they were Christians) have actually argued that the earth is flat and the whole space thing is just a conspiracy. Honestly! …. Couldn’t believe my ears as they all seemed to be level headed quite responsible people who you wouldn’t notice sitting at the next table in a nice restaurant.
        Obviously I didn’t extend my conversation with them any further than the weather from that moment on. ….. They may have been Creationalists, not sure, didn’t ask.

      • Fair enough just curious sure some creationist are pretty hard headed but most of the ones I met are pretty easygoing and friendly.
        As for the flat earth theory its still not proven some very bright men philosophers, authors and the like believed in the flat earth theory and alot of them aren’t creationists. I know the round earth is widely accepted theory though.

      • Unbelievable BBC is becoming worse then spivey at least with spivey I could get a few laughs but this is wanker news.

        “Drop coffee on their shoes to see how they react,” recommends her wise grandma. “It is very important to know what your future husband is like when he is angry – the coffee test never fails.”
        What the fuck brazilian folk stories, cockroach tea for tetanus? “As the human population and its need for mass produced protein grows, perhaps the reviled cockroach will one day feed the world. If only people could be a little less squeamish.”
        Alright thats enough BBC for a lifetime BBC is run by liberal cock sucking cunts. I suppose the officers smuggling in drugs don’t get such a harsh sentence 2 years? some paedos or murderers are usually given a smaller sentence.

  13. @titslapper

    ‘Fair enough just curious sure some creationist are pretty hard headed but most of the ones I met are pretty easygoing and friendly.
    As for the flat earth theory its still not proven some very bright men philosophers, authors and the like believed in the flat earth theory and alot of them aren’t creationists. I know the round earth is widely accepted theory though’

    Now if that’s not sign me up for a cult material nothing is. Oddly enough jehovah witnesses, scientologists always come across as easy going and friendly too, odd that lol

    Perhaps you can post some links about this flat earth theory not being proven by these philosophers and authors I.E bright men that aren’t creotards, by that I mean credible links not something written by a creotard pretend scientist that has only had his work peer reviewed by his mum or other pretend creotards scientists. Perhaps you could throw in a link the the flat earth society, they dismiss the law of gravity too as they reckon when you drop something the earth is moving upwards.

    The round earth isn’t a theory, it’s fucking round which is supported by concrete proof with pictures and videos from people that have flown around it, well that and the fact no fucker has fallen off the edge, simple!

    In the spirit of this site and as someone who disagreed with me posted you are entitled to you opinion, but I think it’s cuntish.

    • I think all evidence of a flat earth IS done by creotards. So, I’ll video the bloke who calls himself the compliance officer which by coincidence everyone else does too, and get him on the flat earth tack so you can see one in action for yourself. …… If it ends abruptly it’s because I couldn’t stand it anymore and I punched the cunt, in the face, very hard.

    • I’m not debating with you I was simply stating the the theory is unproven. Some who believed in the flat earth george benard shaw,george orwell once contemplated and before his death was still unsure, aliester crowley also speculated the theory ,descartes and copernucus men who are smarter then me or you.
      Fuck I’m not naming them all, round earth is a theory just because it’s widely accepted doesn’t make it anymore true or fact. There lots of scientists who also believe in the flat earth or pine shaped or whatever fucking shape.

      “Scientologists always come across as easy going and friendly too” The tom cruise/ron blubturd fanboys I met aren’t friendly at all very stubborn and rude. “you are entitled to you opinion, but I think it’s cuntish.” Well thats your problem not mine whether you think its cuntish to have a opinion. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth

      • Eh? What is this some sort of hazing ritual for the new boy to see if he can spot a thick cunt!

        If you simply replied ‘I’m not debating with you’ and that was it then you’re not debating with me, when you start off with that and then add more text and even a link then that’s exactly what you’re doing.

        Your ‘facts’ and name dropping as evidence is plucked from a wiki link you posted but must of only skimmed through or you would have noticed this in the first sentence “The flat Earth model is an archaic conception of the Earth’s shape as a plane or disk.”

        Do you know what ‘archaic’ means? loooooooooooool.

        Here is the creotard take on the flat earth theory from their main website…

        1. Claim: Biblical Creationists Believe the Earth Is Flat.
        This charge is often leveled at biblical creationists the moment the Bible is brought up. As far as I’m aware, no biblical creationists believe this. The Bible doesn’t teach a flat earth, and this belief was never widespread.1 In fact, the Bible plainly teaches the earth isn’t flat, so it shouldn’t be an issue:
        https://answersingenesis.org/creation-science/dont-creationists-believe-some-wacky-things/

        Your take on scientologists being rude is simply your version, no proof, no evidence, no link, cunt!

        And last but not least… “you are entitled to you opinion, but I think it’s cuntish.” Well thats your problem not mine whether you think its cuntish to have a opinion.

        You couldn’t even get that part right, I don’t think or never posted it’s cuntish to have an opinion, I posted that YOUR opinion was cuntish given the hash you made of NOT debating with me and the nonsense your tried to post in your defense of your original post, cunt!

        As I feel sorry for your total fuckwittery on this subject i’ll throw you a dinosaur bone (quite fitting really)

        While the Earth appears to be round when viewed from the vantage point of space, it is actually closer to an ellipsoid. However, even an ellipsoid does not adequately describe the Earth’s unique and ever-changing shape.

        http://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/earth-round.html

        I look forward to you NOT debating with me any further you fucking idiot.

      • Do you know what ‘archaic’ means? That’s just irrational and rude, of course I do means old fashioned.
        I wasn’t debating you I just answered a few questions somehow that means debate, and for someone to debate back to me you would be disqualified for outright insults towards me when I wasn’t hostile towards you at all.
        You need a link to prove scienctologist’s are rude? unbelievable can’t believe your getting so worked up about this quite funny. And the whole I need a link to validate your argument is a common strawman. Take a chill pill

      • But you didn’t answer anything, you just threw in a half assed link and hoped for the best, that was my point and given that now you’ve been made to look foolish fuck all back regarding the actual subject of your flat earth nonsense then other than flimflam. Irrational that I asked if you know what archaic means given the link YOU posted, not at all given my point, especially now you’ve dared to throw in the word strawman means you’re likely a creotard as that’s their favorite comfort word when cornered, you can’t even fathom the difference between worked up and amused by ignorance, I don’t need a chill pill I just need you to reply again and totally avoid the flat earth subject you’ve now conveniently forgotten after being crucified (no pun intended). The best part of your reply is this,
        “I wasn’t debating you I just answered a few questions somehow that means debate, and for someone to debate back to me”
        Read that back to yourself and see if you can spot your mistake ffs lol

      • Your just a clown ironically thats the meaning of your username. “You’ve now conveniently forgotten after being crucified” your delusional Hahaha you haven’t crucified anything your just a silly rude cunt and it’s not MY theory you fuckwitted nigger . Nor do I believe in flat earth theory I’ve only considered it and dwelt on the possibility judging from multiple authors and view points What fucking difference does it make anyway?. And my 1st comment was to barnaby not you clownboy. I have responded nicely up to now judging from your past insults to my intellect you fucking idiot.

      • It’s true, the original comment was directed to me as i am often a Tit and in need of a slap.
        Cheers TS 😉

      • We could all use a good slap in the tits from time to time barnaby but I do get carried away sometimes. I just slapped my girlfriends and she slapped mine.
        Anywho the whole point of free speech is just that maybe thats why the idea of a flat earth appeals to me but I think this song proves just that. Whether the earth is round,flat square whatever makes no bloody difference really unless your a yob. Pretty decent song ,good album too. https://youtu.be/aga3ArDUdzw

      • Living, as I do, in the Pennines I eschewed the idea of a flat earth years ago; as I look out of my window I am now convinced the earth is in fact a concave hemisphere roofed with grey clouds and held down by sheep.

        Discuss.

  15. I would like to add ROWLAND RIVRON to the cunts section, he’ll appear on anything he can get on, Celebrity death row would be a good show

  16. titslapper..Your just a clown ironically thats the meaning of your username. “You’ve now conveniently forgotten after being crucified” your delusional Hahaha you haven’t crucified anything your just a silly rude cunt and it’s not MY theory you fuckwitted nigger . Nor do I believe in flat earth theory I’ve only considered it and dwelt on the possibility judging from multiple authors and view points What fucking difference does it make anyway?. And my 1st comment was to barnaby not you clownboy. I have responded nicely up to now judging from your past insults to my intellect you fucking idiot.

    “Fuckwitted nigger”

    Now with a literary masterpiece like that why would I insult the intellect you claim to have looooooool Keep replying, your high IQ will surely win out eventually hehe

    • And last but not least this piece of intellectual genius that has you contradicting yourself from one reply to the next…

      “As for the flat earth theory its still not proven some very bright men philosophers, authors and the like believed in the flat earth theory and alot of them aren’t creationists. I know the round earth is widely accepted theory though”

      Still not proven eh loooooooooool and better still the round earth is a widely accepted THEORY looooooooooooool

      I called you a fucking idiot because that’s exactly what you are, you called me a fucking idiot because you’re too thick to know when you’ve been made to look and proven to be an ignorant cunt, hardly delusional more factual actually, but like everything else you can’t grasp, you will most likely just stamp your foot and reply with more naa naa naa naa naa nonsense, quite delicious entertainment in it’s own way *sniggers

  17. Ooooooooooooh you devils….i’m being told this was a hazing ritual, well don’t let it be said I can’t take a joke lol shucks I kinda knew no-one could be as fucking stupid as that on a consistent basis, still I shouldn’t have fallen for it, the shame of it alllllllll.

    • How else are we suppose to know if your a certified cunt or not? consistent basis you say? only 3 days outta a week I promise I’m usually friendly as a kitten. Don’t take anything I say seriously that how we got in this mess in the 1st place.

      • I am a certified cunt 🙂

        Best we leave it at that then.

        i’ll try n catch you on the 4 days you’re not friendly as people will only start to talk nudge nudge wink wink.

      • Listen absolutely no apologies needed, I don’t take anything to seriously or to heart on the interweb, not mum stuff, not pedo stuff, not homo stuff….nothing, it makes me internet indestructible, having said that it was big of you to gesture it so kudos, the downside of that is now you look better than me so at some point I will have to destroy you. I think the main thing with me is because I don’t take it to heart I tend to think no one else does either, not always the case. No harm done eh *virtual handshake

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