Bearded halfwits

Posted on by

r

FUCKING HALFWITS WITH BEARDS WHO CLAIM THEY WERE IN AFGANISTAN
and when you call them out they fucking shit themselves

SQUADDIES ARE SQUADDIES AND CIVVIS ARE CIVVIS
He was told have you played call of duty on eggs box

I am bricklayer and not a bullshitter and never been in the armed forces but when a cunt in a hamburg bar starts piping up and not in squaddie talk deserves a fucking slap SAD FUCK!

Nominated by: Brickbat

26 thoughts on “Bearded halfwits”

    • Your taste in news sources astounds me, however this is obviously fake as the perpitrator looks suspiciously like saddam hussain, or could this be the dawn of a new spivey story “saddam relocated on witness protection program accused of pedo ring”?

      • Well the sources are correct, the story is true(daily mail,huffington post) and yes it is somewhat of a satire (stories are true) but theres nothing funny bout a child getting gang raped by 15 muzzies you dumb chav nonce protecting yob.”Your taste in news sources astounds me” then read the pc friendly dailymail version then if its not you’re taste.(I like how it says asian considering they are arabic) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3312376/Schoolgirl-aged-13-14-repeatedly-raped-sexually-abused-passed-round-15-Asian-males.html
        Plus alot of moslems look like saddam,whats the fuck you’re point?”could this be the dawn of a new spivey story” Well considering he has been talking about shoreham for the last 3 fucking months I doubt it but who knows.

      • chav, nonce protecting, yob? try working class, nonce hating, middle aged(taking into account modern prolonged life expectancy this is an acurate description), non Guardian reader.
        However I dont think much of far right propoganda or the shit it spouts, because I have met and known some of these peaple, seen how manipulative they are with the truth,do these people actualy care about the victim or are they using her as a tool to press their ideaoligy?
        by the way we are 3 to 3 on the votes so I would say the jury is still out on that one.

  2. Excellent cunting Brickbat. I was planning to do one on cunts who claim to have been in the forces after reading about that fat fuck of a trucker driver, who claimed he’d been a para, and then served with the Regiment. His wife died thinking she’d been married to a hero who’d been in the SF.

    My four friends and I outed two bare faced liars on Sunday in a pub in Hammersmith. We’d been on the march past at the Cenotaph with the Special Observers, and later adjourned to a mate’s local. A man and a woman, roughly in their forties, so about our age, were regaling a youngish couple with their tales of derring do whilst in the army. The woman claimed she’d served with the Grenadiers for ten years, whilst the bloke first claimed to have served with the Kings Troop, Royal Horse Artillery. Then he claimed to have served with 29 Commando Regiment, Royal Artillery, and then as a Special Observer with Sphinx Battery, 5 Regiment, RA. For some reason, doing this on Remembrance Sunday made it particularly despicable.

    All that made our ears prick up, as did the ears of two other Army Commando’s and three Marines we were sat with. Because by a strange coincidence, I and one of my friends started our Army careers in the Kings Troop, RHA. Although that was only because we could both ride horses. My mate and I met our other mates whilst on the All Arms course, on completion of which, we became Army Commando’s. Anyone care to guess which regiment? Yes, that’s right, TWO NINER. We then went on to serve in, Yep, Sphinx Battery, 5 Regiment, Royal Artillery. This cunt did not…stand…a fucking…chance.

    The woman was less than happy when I asked if she used to be a man, but I insisted that it was relevant. And when she asked why it was relevant, I happily explained it was because the Grenadiers, being an infantry regiment, did not take women. So unless she was transgender, there was no way in hell she’d been a Grenadier.

    Then it was the man’s turn, and I have to say, my mates did a particularly excellent job of shooting down ALL of his claims, in front of a now silent pub. It was fucking brilliant to watch these two puffed up pricks being deflated in public. Neither of these cunts was particularly happy at being shown up as the liars they were, but they shouldn’t have told porkies in the first place, should they? In the US there is a piece of legislation known the ‘The Stolen Valour Act’. It makes it illegal to falsely claim military service. It’s about time we had a similar law.

    • After the SAS stormed the Iranian embassy famously filmed on TV in 1980 every cunt and his brother you bumped into in the pubs were suddenly SAS…not an army cadet, not a territorial, not an army cook,….oh fuck no, they were all SAS! I used to tell em that’s odd as SAS aren’t meant to tell they’re family let alone total strangers they’re SAS, thick cunts couldn’t even get that part right!

      • Their either SAS or SBS. The thing is, NOBODY in the know actually refers to the SAS, as the SAS. It’s just The Regiment. I actually considered applying for selection, but the one I did for Sphinx Battery was tough enough. It had to be due the nature of our work. I loved the job with Sphinx though.

        I do think that most people who claim to have served don’t have any real malicious intent. Their lives are just empty. They have no sense of worth or self respect. They have a need to be respected. That’s why they’re never slop jockeys or scaley’s, sky pilots or gun bunnies. They don’t see being a cook, signaller, padre or artilleryman as cool. I can’t speak for the first three, but being an artilleryman is cool as fuck.

        I’m not trying to defend the liars though, I’m just calling it as I see it. It doesn’t make them any less pathetic. They have no honour. And then you get cunts like Mark Izzard, the trucker I mentioned in my first post. He went out of his way to make his lie appear real, even posting fake discharge papers to himself. The worst thing about this cunt though, is that his wife died of breast cancer three years ago believing that she was married to a man who was ex-SAS. What kind of low life does that?

        I should also point out that Army cooks are now known as ‘Chefs’ (see also ‘Ration Assassin’ and ‘Cabbage Mechanic’). We’re not talking Gordon Ramsey or Michel Roux Jr though. The Army Chef’s course is the hardest in the Army. No fucker has passed it yet.

      • Oh agreed, but regarding these pretend army cunts a lie is a lie is a lie no matter what the intent is.

        I’m interested in why no one has passed the army chef course?

      • It’s a very old joke. I keep forgetting that most people outside the Army have NEVER heard it though.

    • I was quite lucky, I did EOD, and NBC rep training for the Gulf, fortunatly for me, unfortunate for him, my boss was casivaced out.
      This meant I was excused “sniff testing” and poking obviously dangerous ordanace because nobody knew my “hidden” talents.
      I genuinly recomend shutting the fuck up about what you can and cant do, it leads to a longer life,

    • “In the US there is a piece of legislation known the ‘The Stolen Valour Act’. It makes it illegal to falsely claim military service. It’s about time we had a similar law.”

      Excellent suggestion, QDM.

      • Thanks Fred. I just get really offended when people claim to have when they haven’t. Most of my family are either serving or ex-military, and I can sniff out a liar from a mile away.

    • Met squaddies(north Germany) and come from a big family of RN six brothers from a family of nine and you know their lingo but in a pub with a pissed up wank packet with an estuary accent decides to impress WHACKED

  4. I bumped into a stafford once, said he was a stafford, had the beret and everything, been in the gulf too!
    However he didnt seem to recognise a QRIH beret….the ones he was infantry suport too…..
    sad,

  5. I can’t say I’ve ever really come across this one, I guess it all depends what pubs you drink in.

    What I have had a lot of are people pretending to be big mates with the local nutter/thug/gangster, as if being pally with a sociopath is in any way admirable.

    Round my way it was Paul Psycho Sykes, a some time boxer, debt collector and all round miserable excuse for a human being who finished up dying of pneumonia after being found unconscious in a pool of his own urine at a bus stop.

    I never knew the guy and am very glad about that, but I have met plenty of his “best” mates. Fuck off you cunts.

      • Fuck off, Lupset. I hail from far away Agbrigg, or Agbiggistan as it is now known.

        I left that shit hole long ago and am now far far away. Which is all fine except it hasn’t stopped fucking raining since I got here…..

  6. I’d like to broadcast a ‘breaking news cunting’ of Sepp Blatter and his shower of lawyer cunts. It is clear they are working on a ‘not fit to stand trial or be interviewed by police’ scam. Fucking shower of crooks.

    • I’ll second that. Saw it on the news earlier. It was so obvious they’re going for the ‘not fit’ defence. To me, that’s an unspoken admission of guilt. His lawyers have realised that there’s more than enough evidence to convict the nasty little shit, so now they’re looking for an escape tunnel.

  7. 90% of men and women with beards rape children.

    Pauline Cafferkey is a cunt. The hideousness ugly slag went to Africa for black cock and caught Ebola (twice). These sex holidays were paid for by taxpayers, as the ugly cunt bitch works for the NHS and was on a secondment to some aid agency bastards (sodomites wanting black cock and black arse holes).

    As you might expect, after 2 bouts of Ebola (caught sucking black cock) the ugly cunt-face Pauline Cafferkey is going back to Africa again for even more black cock.

    If the ugly depraved slag wants black cock (and to die from all manner of pox) then so be it, but why should taxpayers have to pay for what is turning into £millions for rescues and cures, so this filthy stinking depraved cunt Pauline Cafferkey can repeated fill her rotting holes with black cock?

  8. Mate, don’t even get me started! I thought it best to note before starting my tirade that I am ex-Army.

    So anyway, I was walking through Shrewsbury on a night out a few weeks back and some piss-sponge gives it the whole “Oh mate, got any spare change mate!”……. we continue walking…… then he says “spare any change for an ex-serviceman mate?!”……….. well as soon as he said that I did a literal about-turn and dropped about half of my pocket shrapnel into his bogging hat.

    Obviously being excited about speaking to an ex-squaddie and wanting to help a brother out, I proceeded to ask him about his predicament. He proceeded to tell me about coming back from Afghan and being thrown out by his missus (actually a fairly common theme) and now living on the street (also a fairly common story).

    When I asked him where he had served, he told me he had served in Palestine for 3 years, at which point my mate had to stop me from kicking fuck out of the lying, fraudulent cunt. I guess the only current events in the Big Issue are those written by lefty cunts. Not exactly a shocker.

Comments are closed.