Dead Pool 24

Posted on October 3, 2015 by All Seeing Eye

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Congratulations to Fred West who correctly predicted the demise of uber-cunt Denis Healey. So well played, Fred. An autographed copy of Burt Bacharach’s wonderful “Living Together” album is yours to pick up at the Reception desk.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 24.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

92 thoughts on “Dead Pool 24”

All Seeing Eye on October 3, 2015 at 4:38 pm said:

Nominated for this Pool at the end of Pool 23:

Sir Limply Stoke
Mohammed Ali
Leslie Phillips
John Hurt
Sir Peter Hall
Ken Dodd

All Seeing Eye
Dick Van Dyke
Helmut Kohl
John Noakes
Mel Brooks
Val Kilmer

Cuntfinder General
Jerry Lewis
Gerald Depardieu
Robert Mugabe
Jimmy Carter
Olivier DeHavilland

0
Shaun of the Dead 69 on October 3, 2015 at 4:52 pm said:

Zsa Zsa Gabor
Vera Lynn
Kirk Douglas
Douglas Slocombe
Howard Marks

0
Uncle Dickie on October 3, 2015 at 5:36 pm said:

For me, this bunch please

Eddie Large
Brian Cant
Dickie Davis
Frank Bough
Roger De Courcey

0
Black and White Cunt on October 3, 2015 at 5:49 pm said:

I would like:

Jim Bowen (Bullseye)
Bernie Eccleston
Dennis Norden
Paul Gascoigne
HRH Duke of Kent (My fellow Brethren will not like that nomination)

0
cunnyhoney on October 3, 2015 at 6:04 pm said:

Please could I have:

Barbara Knox (Rita from corrie)
Kate Moss
Cliff Richard
Dickie Bird
Barbara Windsor

Thanks!

0
- boaby on October 3, 2015 at 11:07 pm said:
  
  “Please MAY I have” – you illiterate cunt 🙂
  Are you a scouser?
  
  0
Mr Bastard on October 3, 2015 at 6:30 pm said:

As before please…. George A Romero
John Carpenter
Colin Dexter
Hal Holbrook
Dennis Waterman

0
Norman on October 3, 2015 at 6:49 pm said:

Well played, Fred…

Tommy Docherty
Charles Manson
Maureen O’ Hara
Gene Hackman
Jimmy Hill

0
- Fred West on October 3, 2015 at 7:10 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Norman – had to check it really was Healey who had died and not Mike Yarwood.
  
  0
  - Shaun of the Dead 69 on October 24, 2015 at 5:53 pm said:
    
    Well done Norman .Maureen O `Hara has kicked the bucket.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-3287768/Maureen-OHara-spirited-movie-star-dies-95.html
    
    0
  - Dioclese on October 24, 2015 at 5:57 pm said:
    
    Indeed. Congrats Norman. Everybody hold fire for ten while I reset the pool…
    
    0
TitSlapper on October 3, 2015 at 7:05 pm said:

my old five
1Barack Obama (muslim supporting cunt)
2 Pope Frances (Peado Cunt)
3 Kayne West (talentless cunt)
4 Ginger Baker ( Greatest Drummer, But Cunt of a Father)
5 Benjamin Netanyahu (kid killing cunt and immigrant spreading cunt)

0
Fred West on October 3, 2015 at 7:06 pm said:

Clive James
Denis Nordern
Warren Mitchell
Sir George Martin
Doris Day

0
- Fred West on October 3, 2015 at 7:19 pm said:
  
  Ah – I see someone’s swiped Denis Norden from me! I’m having him back if he’s not the next to go!
  
  In the meantime, I’ll take Prince Philip.
  
  0
  - Black and White Cunt on October 4, 2015 at 12:37 am said:
    
    Well played and sorry Fred, I thought I would be a cunt and nick Dennis Norden. Seeing as you won this one I thought I might have a better chance of winning by nicking one of yours.
    
    0
  - Fred West on October 4, 2015 at 8:56 am said:
    
    Fair enough! But if Norden isn’t the next to go, I’m having him back for the next Pool!
    
    0
Zer Fuhrer on October 3, 2015 at 8:00 pm said:

Helmut Schmidt
Giscard d’Estaing
Brian Cox (schauspieler)
Basar al-Assad (in case ze yanks aim fur ein other krankenhaus)
Barry Manilow

Vielen Dank

0
boaby on October 3, 2015 at 8:30 pm said:

Bruce Forsyth
Ronnie Corbett
Andrew Marr
Andrew Neil
Peter Andre (One of these days that mysterious girl is gonna get hit by a bus!, I can but dream)

0
Cunt's Mate Cunt on October 3, 2015 at 8:44 pm said:

My usual:
1/ Sepp Blatter
2/ Sepp Blatter
3/ Sepp Blatter
4/ Sepp Blatter
5/ Sepp Blatter

0
Odin's balls on October 3, 2015 at 9:49 pm said:

Tony Blair
Pete Doherty
Bashir al Assad
Ken Livingstone
Robert Mugabe

0
- Odin's balls on October 3, 2015 at 9:52 pm said:
  
  Bollocks.
  
  Cuntfinder general already got Mugabe.
  
  Can I have Caitlin / Bruce Jenner or whatever the fuck it calls itself these day please.
  
  0
  - Sir Limply Stoke on October 4, 2015 at 12:41 am said:
    
    And zer fuhrer has Assad
    
    0
  - Odin's balls on October 4, 2015 at 7:18 am said:
    
    Saif al Islam Gadaffi then.
    
    0
King Cnut on October 3, 2015 at 9:55 pm said:

5 alive:

Ian Brady
David Rockefeller
John Glenn
Henry Kissinger
Helmut Schmidt

D’ya feel luck CUNTS!

0
- King Cnut on October 3, 2015 at 9:58 pm said:
  
  Sub:
  
  Nancy Reagan for Helmut Schmidt
  
  0
Ozymandias on October 3, 2015 at 10:30 pm said:

andrew neil? surely not

0
boaby on October 3, 2015 at 11:12 pm said:

He is a total cunt, a BBC gravy train sucking, establishment propaganda spouting cunt.
Sooner that cunt (and everyone at the BBC) is 6ft under the better, and you can include the Royal too!

0
TitSlapper on October 3, 2015 at 11:25 pm said:

Denis Healey ugly unibrow cunt who was a closet poofter good job Fred although I feel bad you have to listen to Burt Bacharach now, sounds like a bizzare form of torture he’s only written a few decent songs he’s a bellend.

0
- Norman on October 4, 2015 at 3:08 am said:
  
  Hal David was the brains behind all those Bacharach hits…. He wrote the words… Bacharach did nothing much that was any good after he and David fell out…
  
  Even when he’s brown bread, Healey is more relevant than Jeremy Corbyn… Nice to see the old cunt standing in front of a ‘Mass Murderers R Us’ banner (featuring, Lenin.Trotsky, Stalin and Mao)…
  
  0
  - TitSlapper on October 4, 2015 at 4:59 am said:
    
    Of the few songs I like are my little red book it’s good and kinda of funny considering its about communist book “Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung” but love’s version is the best by far. Ah yes comrade corbyn what a cunt! I always call him comrade because those Soviet-era wardrobe he wears and his lenin like conductor hat.
    
    0
  - Fred West on October 4, 2015 at 11:29 am said:
    
    “Hal David was the brains behind all those Bacharach hits…. He wrote the words… Bacharach did nothing much that was any good after he and David fell out…”
    
    Have to disageree with you there, Norman. It’s the melodies everyone remembers, not the lyrics. And what did Hal David do after the Bacharach-David split? The lyrics to the ‘Moonraker’ theme…
    
    0
  - TitSlapper on October 4, 2015 at 5:46 pm said:
    
    “It’s the melodies everyone remembers, not the lyrics.” That debatable Fred the lyrics are just as important as the melodies(or the instrumental backing). Being a lover of both instrumental music and vocal music I can say its 50/50 and depending on the song it could be 60 lyrics/ 40 music and vice versa. It depends on the song and delivery, Also burt wasn’t that good on melodies. Moonraker was one of my favorite bond movies at least in my top 10.The theme song was suppose to be sung by Kate Bush but the cunty bint turned it down so it could of been better instead we got louis”piss taker” armstrong 🙁
    
    0
  - Fred West on October 4, 2015 at 7:35 pm said:
    
    Burt wasn’t good on melodies? I bet far more people can whistle or hum the melody lines than can remember the complete lyrics to:
    
    Do You Know The Way To San José?
    Walk On By
    A House Is Not A Home
    This Guy’s In Love With You
    Close To You
    I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself
    Make It Easy On Yourself
    Always Something There To Remind Me
    Wives and Lovers
    Anyone Who Had A Heart
    What The World Needs Now
    The Look Of Love
    I Say A Little Prayer
    Promises, Promises
    Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head
    
    Regardless of the music to the Moonraker theme or who it was supposed to have been sung by, the Hal David lyrics are woeful and forgettable.
    
    1
  - Dioclese on October 5, 2015 at 8:23 am said:
    
    Can’t quite forgive him for ‘Alfie’ tho’…
    
    0
  - Norman on October 4, 2015 at 9:51 pm said:
    
    Fair point, Fred… Humble pie has been ate… Burt’s best? This one… Sums it up as well as anything:
    
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8ByJ1C0iR4
    
    0
  - TitSlapper on October 5, 2015 at 3:30 am said:
    
    “Far more people can whistle or hum the melody lines than can remember the complete lyrics”. Thats because melodies are easier to remember then lyrics, Humble pie? a band I rather listen to then that tosh, and that song proves my point that burt sucked at composing melodies. What did that song have a few piano jingles? and a shite horn section?,sorry fred I’m getting mixed up in my own opinion here. I knew you and Rose loved Burt’s Living Together album I don’t want to ruin your prize Fred. my bad enjoy mate. A song that kicks the shit outta both Burt and Herb https://youtu.be/ZoQG9wN0mAk enjoy 🙂
    
    0
  - Norman on October 5, 2015 at 3:22 pm said:
    
    There was a girl at school I was besotted with (like you are at that age), but she just wasn’t interested… I knew she was a Queen fan, so I did her a tape of ‘The Game’ before it was officially released (my mate’s dad was a Piccadilly Radio DJ and his lad had a promo copy)… But I also put on that Herb Alpert track before the Queen album, and I wrote ‘This is for you, Gail’ on the tape cover… Did it work? Like a fucking charm… I was with her for six years…
    
    0
Allan on October 4, 2015 at 12:36 am said:

Alex Ferguson
Geoffrey Boycott
Walter Palmer (lion killer)
David Cameron (pig fucker)
Bashar al-Assad

0
- Sir Limply Stoke on October 4, 2015 at 12:43 am said:
  
  Assad is already nabbed twice over.
  
  0
  - Allan on October 5, 2015 at 7:26 pm said:
    
    Ok, how about Stuart Hall?
    
    0
Cunting ME Cunting You ahaaaa on October 4, 2015 at 12:58 am said:

Debbie Reynolds
Little Richard
Chuck Berry
Doris Day
Sir Bernard Ingham.

0
- Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 8:24 am said:
  
  Doris already nabbed by Fred…
  rest noted
  
  0
  - Cunting ME Cunting You ahaaaa on October 4, 2015 at 9:58 pm said:
    
    In that case just add former Berwick upon Tweed MP Alan Beith.
    
    0
  - Dioclese on October 5, 2015 at 8:24 am said:
    
    Will do…
    
    0
Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 8:27 am said:

Blimey – turn my back for a minute and look what happens!

All nominations duly added to the spreadsheet. I see nobody fancied any of mine so I’ll stick with them :

Al Molinaro
Harper Lee
Herman Wouk
Javier Perez de Cuellar
João Havelange

0
King Cunt on October 4, 2015 at 9:17 am said:

Morgan Freeman
George Bush senior
Bob Hawke
Stirling moss
Nancy Regan

0
- Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 2:18 pm said:
  
  Nancy’s taken. rest OK
  
  0
  - King Cunt on October 4, 2015 at 6:55 pm said:
    
    Oh sorry. How bout a roll on Michael Parkinson?
    
    0
  - Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 7:16 pm said:
    
    Why not? Added to the list…
    
    0
Guardian hater on October 4, 2015 at 9:29 am said:

Hello, I would like the following to die :

1) Lily Allen
2) Keith Allen
3) Ruggero Deodato
4) Russel Brand
5) Tony Slattery

Thank you.

0
- boaby on October 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm said:
  
  If all those came true I would have 15 wanks on the trot
  
  0
  - Allan on October 5, 2015 at 10:36 pm said:
    
    That wouldn’t beat my record.
    
    0
Brickbat on October 4, 2015 at 12:18 pm said:

helmut Kohl
vera Lynn
glynis Johns
shirley Bassey
peter Sallis
not hopefully

0
- Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 2:21 pm said:
  
  Kohl and Vera are taken. Sorry…
  You get two more
  
  0
Mr. BlobbyBlobby on October 4, 2015 at 2:18 pm said:

Noel Edmonds
Morrissey
Sean Connery
Roger Moore
Piers Morgan

0
- Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 2:22 pm said:
  
  Added to the list…
  
  0
Fat Rich on October 4, 2015 at 2:56 pm said:

First attempt

Fidel Castro
Hosni Mubarak
Billy Graham
Bill Maynard
George Bush Snr.

Thank you and good luck.

0
- Fat Rich on October 4, 2015 at 2:58 pm said:
  
  Change out Bhumibol Adulyadej for Bush Snr.
  
  0
  - Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 7:08 pm said:
    
    Done
    
    0
- Dioclese on October 4, 2015 at 7:08 pm said:
  
  Bushy has been grabbed (if you’ll excuse the expression) but you can have the rest of ’em
  
  0
Shaun of the Dead 69 on October 5, 2015 at 6:06 pm said:

I have only gone and bloody gone and done it again.One of my picks from Deadpool 23 the American Social Activist Philosopher and Feminist Grace Lee Boggs has died!Fist Brian Sewell and now her!Bollocks 🙁

0
- boaby on October 5, 2015 at 10:13 pm said:
  
  I’d love to fist Brian Sewell’s cold, rotting corpse 🙂
  
  0
  - Shaun of the Dead 69 on October 6, 2015 at 12:45 am said:
    
    What a disgusting thought ew!
    
    0
  - Mr Bastard on October 6, 2015 at 8:15 am said:
    
    One less “Social Activist” on this Earth…. Rejoice!!
    
    0
Dan on October 5, 2015 at 9:54 pm said:

Ray Reardon
Malcolm Turnbull
David Essex
Jack Charlton
Jo Brand

0
Flaxen Saxon on October 8, 2015 at 9:33 am said:

My selection akimbo!
Shawn McGowan
Richard O’Sullivan
Miley Cyrus
Prunnella Scales
Keith Richards

0
- Dioclese on October 8, 2015 at 4:28 pm said:
  
  Better late than never 😉
  
  0
TitSlapper on October 8, 2015 at 6:29 pm said:

Got some bad news 🙁 Frank Zappa’s 2nd wife is dead at 70(dont suppose anyone had her?) I was gonna nominate her but didn’t think she would die this early. Gail Zappa was a bit of a bitch for holding certain recordings of Zappa’s stuff to never be released and trying to prevent people from playing Franks music but she did love her family and tried to keep Zappa’s music alive in a way. This song is dedicated to Gail give it a listen if you want https://youtu.be/sGiZoE5eqZc

0
Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi on October 9, 2015 at 12:20 am said:

Hope there’s still time to bag me some bath robes 😉 here’s my five;

Mel Brooks
Stephen Fry
Brian Cox (the physicist)
Brian Cox (the actor)
Ollie North (Iran-Contra)

0
- Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi on October 9, 2015 at 1:11 am said:
  
  Fuck, Mr Spaceballs and father of the World War Z author himself has been chosen already. I’ll gladly Take Billy Connolly in his stead (hopefully the grim reaper feels the same way)
  
  0
  - Dioclese on October 9, 2015 at 9:14 am said:
    
    Connelly noted. You’ve got one more…
    
    0
- Dioclese on October 9, 2015 at 9:13 am said:
  
  Not too lae – but too late for Cox the actor and Mel Brooks as they’re already bagged. You can try for two more…
  
  0
  - Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi on October 10, 2015 at 3:53 am said:
    
    Is it cheating to put Angela Lansbury down? She’s been 80 years old since Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
    
    Angela Lansbury
    Billy Connolly
    Brian Cocks (Justin Bieber Toupee)
    Ollie North
    Stephen Fry
    
    0
  - Dioclese on October 10, 2015 at 9:36 am said:
    
    Lansbury noted. That’s your five.
    
    0

Comments are closed.