Guy Martin, what a monumental cunt. Fogarty is a cunt too, and Barry Sheen, in fact all limp-dicked cunts on motorbikes are wankers!
One of the neighbours up our avenue has some swanky 1000cc thing, the cunt is a pain in the arse. every morning he starts it up just after 7am and then proceeds to rev it in the red a dozen times before roaring up the avenue doing about 120mph before he even gets to the junction.
One of these days I am gonna cut the cunt’s brake lines!
Nominated by: Gormless Fuckwit
Not getting involved with this one, but apt choice of user name…..
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But! Guy has a Merlin onna trailer so he can’t be all bad.
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Wow, if a slaggy little 1000cc upsets you, my Harley 1200 Custom would send you straight to hell. Just because someone is driving you mad with their arseholery, doesn’t mean all bikers are the same. Talk to the twat, and if that doesn’t work, buy an axe.
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We’re not all tarred with the same fucking brush Mr Fuckwit you know. Congrats on living up to your username.
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I find catshit in their helmets to be highly amusing, and there are many opurtunities to introduce it!, always keep a dolop in the glove compartment.
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I’ve been to many bike club rallies and it’s amazing what can end up inside unattended helmets. Somewhat disgusting too on occasion……
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actualy cunts on mopeds would be a better topic, I followed some teanage twat from Godalming to Guildford yesterday, admitedly he did not exceed the speed limit, however he insisted on wobbeling in the middle of the road occasionaly looking back (with dangerous wobbels) to make up for his lack of mirrors, basicly hogging the road in an unsafe manner and preventing a safe overtake, now he is a cunt, so anyone sees the little shit (easy to recognise as he has a home printed rear number plate) tell him that not only does he ride like a cunt, he is a cunt and that next time I wont be so nice and will overtake him and he can find out first hand what its like to be caught between a truck trailer combo hauling plant
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Most of these little twats on 50cc scooters with “L” plates have illegally tweaked them, removing the carburettor and transmission restrictors, fitting expansion chamber exhausts, sports variators etc. They then end up with something too fast for their riding abilities, chucking them down the road or into cars and brick walls. I once derestricted an Aprilia SR50 scooter for a customer who’d got his full licence and when I test rode it the fucker went off the clock at 60mph and was still accelerating. Terrifying for something with tyres the size of wheelbarrow ones and brake discs smaller than beer mats. I had an old Honda CB900F at the time and felt much safer on that.
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I hate those little chicken chasers. Any man who buys one of those abominations, is not a man. Either buy a pedal bike or a proper motorbike, but do NOT buy a fucking moped.
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The worst scooters are the Chinese made variety, they have the added design “quirk” of dropping to bits from the minute they are used on the road. I’ve had the dubious pleasure of working for a couple of places that sold various Chinky scooters and cheap knock-offs of the Honda CG125 and the build quality is resolutely laughable. There are genuine reasons why they cost 600 quid off Evilbay when a new Honda scoot from a dealership starts at near double that. They are absolutely not fit for purpose and should not be allowed on British roads but given that our PM’s nose is firmly lodged in various little yellow arses no doubt boatloads of the shit still arrive every day. Most of the dealers who sell the cheap shit are get rich quick merchants or incompetents and taking care of the numerous moans and comebacks will tax the patience of even the most even-tempered of bike mechanics. And the buyers are usually thick cheapskates and their gormless, snotty teenage offspring who thrash the bollocks off the bikes but are too stupid/lazy/tight to either change or top up the oil. I have personally dropped 3 year old Chink scooters into a skip, knackered already and no bits left worth saving. I actually do own a moped as a spare bike but it’s an early 1960’s Raleigh RM6 so it’s British, with decent size wheels, looks pleasingly vintage and has no cheap shitty plastic crap on it. Proper engineering…..
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agreed moped riders are usually cunts but they usually dont last long,most harley riders also cunts,wrong country for a harley here they are just loud farmyard equipment with no power,infact how do the yanks[also cunts by the way] make huge engines that make so little power and then put it into a bike that dosnt handle or stop fucking tractor riding cunts,now sports bike riders are also cunts which makes me a cunt,how i still have a driving licence is amazing,but at least the bike starts everytime,never breaks down and i can do 120mph down my street every morning at 7 am,you never know one of my cunt nieghbors may cut my brake lines or put cat shit in my lid,as long as i know who it is i can use their house to stop,hopefully killing the cat and knocking over his moped/harley at the same time…
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There’s one who lives near me. Even at 7am, If he just started the thing up and rode away, no-one would bother. It’s when these cunts have to sit there revving for five minutes that it gets on your tits. It’s as though they have to make sure they’ve got your attention. Which is probably their reason for getting a bike in the first place.
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Getting the engine warm so it doesn’t seize up.
I ride bikes, only a Bandit 600 though, have some fun on it mind you.
Guy Martin is a cunt though, gives it the biggun and always gets his arsed handed to him at McGuinness and Dunlop at the TT
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You can’t take Guy Martin seriously until he wins at least 1 TT race. It doesn’t look like he ever will as he has become a TV presenter instead.
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…or one at the NW200
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I’ve serviced and worked on loads of Bandits, bloody good design for a modern machine. Keep a close eye on the brake calipers though, esp the 6 pots on the 1200.
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Most bikers today are mid life crisis cunts who decide to buy a state of the art rocket fucking ship which scares them shitless and stays in the garage until they eventually sell it for peanuts. Then there are the “outlaw biker” wanabees who buy a fucking Harley, 2 wheeled tractors which don’t go, don’t stop and don’t go round courners, you posey fucking cunts. And whats with all the leather gear? Chaps and waistcoats? How fucking gay do you look? Why not grow a big bushy mustache and join a Village People tribute band while you are at it? Cunts!!
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I’ve worked on loads of sports bikes over the years but never wanted one, coz the riding position does my fucking back in. Always had bikes made before 1980, even to this day. Yes, a lot of the crotch rocket/ Harley/BMW Adventure bike crowd are cunts, but not all of them. Met (and drank) with too many bikers to tar them all with the same brush. I would advise avoiding backpatch clubs though, too many competitive egos on display…..
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Doubt that any cunt will remember them but I used to plonk me old arse on the well sprung saddle orf a Douglas Dragonfly back in the 50’s. Huge and heavy and not fast but very noisy and a classic long distance tourer. Would go all day and scared many an old lady in a country lane. Modern bikes? Fuck ’em. And the cunts that ride ’em.
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Still a good few of them about. Vintage is truly best M’Lord…….
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My Dad had one of those
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Flat twin like a BMW, except much nicer looking….
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BMW were not the only ones to nick the flat twin layout, Indian and Harley Davidson also “gained inspiration” from the Douglas design.
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Great thing about flat twins is they keep your feet warm on a winter morning…
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I went out with a flat twin once. Her sister had huge knockers tho’
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Nothing wrong with proper bikes and proper bikers… My old next door neighbour had a Triumph T100R Daytona… A kind of response by Triumph to Honda’s Black Bomber in the early 70s… Of course me and my mates thought Malcolm and his T100R were the bee’s knees when we were kids…
Anyway, over to Brighton…Jeremy Corbyn sounds like Michael Foot….Part two of Labour’s longest suicide note….
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What’s wrong with a small engined bike anyway? I loved my old Triumph T90 until I wrapped the bastard around a car and bust me leg. Apart from that, it was great fun…
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Simple solution…………
Wait, time it right and pull out of the drive in front of the cunt. Problem solved!!!
If he rode his bike like a respectful member of society then he would have seen you pulling out of the drive and wouldn’t be dead.
Problem solved.
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Gary Lineker is a cunt and no mistake. The greedy retarded shit-bag is paid £millions by the BBC each year (money thieved off the idiot poor who die at 45 in front of the telly on their cardboard £35.99 Boxing Day sofas while drinking mono-sodium glutamate mixed with lard and gin, with their toothless nicotine-stained gobs) to spout subhuman cliches about IQ65 illegal immigrants playing feetball.
His mother (an evil fucking cunt from hell) has just died (most likely of syphilis, or chocked eating a baby) and cunt vermin Gary Lineker has a tribute. “My wonderful, beautiful mother has left us” says the evil cunt Gary Lineker. She was a fucking cunt pig who gave birth to the dirty evil cunt Gary Lineker.
Gary Lineker is a dirty evil filth cunt. The dirty greedy cunt is in the same league as Tony Bliar.
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C’mon, stop sitting on the fence and tell us what you really think.
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I hate loud reving bikers fucking pain in the arse, There’s a special place in hell for those cunts… hopefully
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