Dead Pool [21]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Shaun of the Dead who came up on the rails to win by a short head on Sir Peter O’Sullevan. I nearly disallowed it because Peter O’Sullivan is still alive and kicking. That would have been petty just because you’re a cunt who can’t spell!

So well played, Shaun. Second scalp for you – one more to join the elite team of three time winners.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 21.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

82 thoughts on “Dead Pool [21]”

  2. For Deadpool 21 can I please have?
    Peter Sallis
    Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Brian Sewell
    Howard Marks
    Douglas Slocombe

    Also Pretty sure I did spell Sir Peter`s name correctly!

  3. Hello,

    may I have

    Ruggero Deodato
    Russel Brand
    Lily Allen
    Keith Allen
    Clive James?

    I hate them all.

  4. Sticking with my usual five, please:

    Clive James
    Denis Nordern
    Denis Healey
    Warren Mitchell
    Doris Day

    (if anyone is stuck for suggestions, Desmond Tutu is back in hospital – and suffering with prostate cancer, apparently…).

  5. Oh – and I’ve been asked so here’s a list of pool winners right from the beginning…

    1 Amy Winehouse – .243 Win
    2 Col Gaddhafi – Dioclese
    3 Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi – Dioclese
    4 Clive Dunn – OBG
    5 Nelson Mandela – OBG
    6 Ronnie Biggs – Dioclese
    7 Ariel Sharon – ASE
    8 Jimmy Ellis – Dan
    9 Mickey Rooney – Fred West
    10 William Ash – Sir Limply Stoke
    11 Chapman Pincher – Dioclese
    12 Dickie Attenborough – Sir Limply Stoke
    13 Joan Rivers – King Cunt
    14 Gough Whitlam – Dioclese
    15 Jeremy Thorpe – The Grim Cunter
    16 Leonard Nimoy – Cunt O’MaCunto
    17 Sam Simon – Shaun of the Dead
    18 BB King – Lez
    19 Christopher Lee – Sir Limply Stoke
    20 Peter O’Sullevan – Shaun of the Dead

    • I nominated Malcolm Glazer in the dead pool…. But the site went down for a bit just as the old cunt snuffed it…

  6. 1. Tommy Docherty
    2. Kate Moss
    3. Stephen Lewis (‘Butler! Urrrrgh!’)
    4. Charles Manson
    5. Jimmy Carter

  10. My revised list…
    Colin Dexter
    Dennis Waterman
    John Carpenter
    George A Romero
    Hal Holbrook

  11. Dick Van Dyke
    Gene Wilder
    David Hasselhoff
    Simon Cowell
    Joan Collins

    First post here. Think I have the hang of it. My hit list above; now who do I pay and how much?

  12. Little Richard
    Chuck Berry
    Jerry Lee Lewis
    Debbie Reynolds
    Sir Bernard Ingham

    • Noted.
      That’s 50 on the list so far. Keep ’em coming ‘cos I’m off on holiday on Friday so if you don’t get ’em in tomorrow then The Eye is going to have to deal with them. You really don’t want to piss off the Eye. He sees all 😉

      • Aw fuck; that’s the pressure on then.
        I’m going to take the same ones which haven’t got me anywhere for months. Can’t even remember what they are – have you got your list around please Mr. D?
        I tried to cheat on the last pool with some last-second swapping but it didn’t work.

      • Last time round you had :
        Dick Van Dyke, Helmut Kohl, John Noakes, Mel Brooks, Val Kilmer

        Van Dyke’s been bagged but I’ve noted the others.

        I’ll email you the list tonight as I’m away for the next couple of weeks…

  13. Billy Connolly … Just get on with it
    Jack Charlton
    Baroness Trumpington
    Ray Reardon
    Gerry Adams…..in agony, hopefully

  14. Freddie (the perv) Starr
    Keith (Junkie) Richard
    Rolf (tie me kidderoo kid down) Harris
    Mick (ugly cunt) Jagger
    George (bomb you bastards) Bush Snr.

    and as for the cunt that stole Sean Connery, your a cunt.

    have a nice day you cunts.

  15. This time my dead pool five are all oldie UK TV celebs:

    Honor Blackman
    Valerie Singleton
    David Bellamy
    George Cole
    Lester Piggott

    …and of course the SNP are still all prime cunts.

  16. Please could I have:

    Gloria Hunniford
    Edward Furlong
    Nigeria Lawson
    Shane McGowan
    Melvin Bragg

    Thanks!

  17. 1/ Sepp Blatter
    2/ Sepp Blatter
    3/ Sepp Blatter
    4/ Sepp Blatter
    5/ Sepp Blatter

    And the SNP are cunts.

    • I would like to refer to the big-titted coke-whore from now on as ‘Nigeria Lawson’, if that’s OK.

  19. So many cunts to choose from, can I have;

    Derek Hatton
    Jacob Rothschild
    Richard Stilgoe
    Noel Edmonds (Oh please let it be him)
    Alex Ferguson

    Thank you.

  20. Here we go:
    Ken Dodd
    Leslie Phillips
    Muhammed Ali
    Helmut Schmidt
    Giscard D’Estaing

    • Yep – all those are fine. I sent a list to the Eye earlier as I’m going to be orf on me hols again. He’ll need to add those – but knowing you guys, you spot a winner before I do!

      • Happy holidays doubtless buoyed by the knowledge that once again ISAC has landed a scoop, namely the cunting orf Camilla Batmancuntjelly and the revelation orf paedo goin’s orn within Kid’s Company (breaking news). I shall recunt as appropriate.

      • Frankly anyone who dresses like she does HAS to be seriously dubious…

        That’s me lot. Orf to beddy byes. See you all in a couple of weeks!

  21. I’ll take
    Benjamin Netanyahu
    Pope Francis(pedo cunthead)
    Ginger Baker(just because even though he’s the best drummer)
    Kayne West
    Barack Obama
    btw recap Stuart Baggs is dead at 27 someone bagg him?pun intended Also Omar Sharif, and Bobbi Kristina did die 🙁 (all that money, all you had to do is live your life forget your mothers death and not stick around scumbag shitheads who leech off you tragic).

    • Ginger was the best drummer of his time…. I feel the same about Tommy Doc… My best times as a United fan were with Doc’s Red Army… And his side are still the finest attacking team I’ve ever seen play… But The Doc is nearly 90 now, surely he can’t last much longer? Mind you, it’d be nice if he outlives that corrupt, Glazer acolyte, Ferguson…

    • I reckon these old, and not so old that have already croaked, as in Rick Rude (41 years old) and Davey Smith (40 I think), steroid abusing pro wrestlers cunts are worth a shout for the dead pool, folk like Paul Orndorff, William Regal (drugs and alcohol problems too), Ric Flair et al

      • Good steer. Pro wrestling is a hard life and 40+ is old for that game now. Previous generation lived a bit longer but still many early deaths. Recall pulling in to a petrol station in Croydon in the early hours in the ’70s. There was a large Cortina at a pump which looked like it had suspension failure on one side at the back. A tasty cunt in a mohican was driving. Then another likely lad got out, a black lad I recognised as Johnny Quango. He started trying to pull out a huge Irishman with long hair who was stuck in the back and demanding to piss. Mohican and Quango managed to lever out two vast feet and fat legs and out popped an ugly 7ft tall fucker still in wrestling boots. The Giant Haystacks no less. Once he was out the Cortina went up on its springs again.
        Got talking to them and turned out they had done a gig in Lewisham and were on their way up Bristol way to wrestle in the evening. Non stop touring and piss poor pay relying on uppers to keep them going.
        They are all dead now like so many of their era.

    • Bit sad really, as Roddy starred in “They Live”, the last movie John Carpenter made that was remotely worth watching.

      • In my opinion its the best movie john carpenter did and roddy piper was perfect for that role . I like the plot of the movie rich cunts manipulating people to spend money, breed, and accept the status quo with subliminal messages in mass media. The special effects weren’t the best, kinda the point but i’d take cheesy effects over cgi anyday.

    • Not on this Pool, but she’s featured in a few in the past.

      Dioclese didn’t send me his list of the old Pool entries before disappearing on hols so we can’t finger-point and laugh at those who have dropped her. Shame.

      • Close one for me! I was considering Cilla as my 5th selection along with jockey Lester Piggott. Since the Long Fellow was 8 years older than Cilla I chose him instead. Bollocks…

      • I have a list right back to the beginning.

        Like Minded Cuntophile had Cilla in Pool 7 and that’s it as far as I can see.

        Anyhow, you’ll have gathered I’m back, but give me a day or too to catch up because I’ve got 31 pages of comments to go through!!!!

        Good news is I’m off to Australia on September. Ha ha!!!

  24. So the Professional Scouser (and Tory cunt) has kicked the bucket…
    Surprise Surprise…. There’s gonna be a lorra lorra greifjackers…

  26. Jimmy Tarbuck said Cilla was “Liverpool’s Cinderella”… Senile old Scouse cunt…
    There was also a ‘musical tribute’ at the Cavern (not the long since demolished original one, of course)… Typical Scousers… Cilla couldn’t wait to get out of the place quick enough… But nothing stops a good old Scouse grief-fest… Expect loads of tributes, ‘Liverpool Lass’ bullshit, griefmonkeys and endless ‘YNWA’ bollocks… They’ll make more fuss about Cilla Black than they did about the 39 Juventus fans on the recent 30th anniversary of their murder…

  27. Even Paul McCartney is getting in on the act, called her “”a lovely girl who infected everyone” Fuck me, Vicar but that’s a bit rich!

    Doesn’t say what the witch died of but lets all hope it was fucking painful.

    • What bends my head is all these people going on about her ‘talent…’
      She was the only woman in the world who could sing flat and sharp at the same time… Cilla did the worst ever Bacharach/David covers, and if it wasn’t for her association with The Beatles (which she never shut up about!) she would never have made it as a singer…

      I recall seeing her on some Granada news prorgramme… ‘Our Cilleh’ was appearing in front of the cameras for some charity thing… When the press asked for a photo, the professional scouser actually pushed the charity’s organiser/chief out of the way to put herself at the front of the photocall… I thought then ‘What a fucking cunt!’ And I still think it now….

      • Wouldn’t be surprised if Cilla had a gangbang with allen klein and the beatles to get famous most untalented performers have to sell their soul in some way.Why do you think the most talented performers get screwed because they don’t make compromises with their backstabbing corrupt handlers. Thats why music today is such shit to a watered down level .The corrupt music industry loves when a artist dies because they can make that musician into a martyr and can thus make more money with a dead musician then with a living one.Look what happened when Syd Barrett died immediately his albums were re-released and he was declared a martyr and a legend same with any musician. Talentless Ego driven cunts are only allowed to make money its rare anyway . BTW there isn’t a entry for today guess things will be slow til dio comes back.

      • Like Scott Walker…. After the final Walker Brothers reunion in 1978 he walked away from the music industry… His record company wanted him to do the cabaret circuit, singing all the 60s torch ballads… Scott told them to fuck off and went his own way… It was in 1984 that he resurfaced with his uncompromising ‘Climate Of Hunter’ album… He appears where and when he feels like it with a new record (the last being 2013’s ‘Bish Bosch’) and he refuses to do the 60s nostalgia circuit, regardless of how much money is offered to him… Not for him to become a cash generating ‘brand’ like the Beatles or the Stones…

        Spot on about the martyr thing, TitSlapper… I remember when Michael Jackson snuffed it… The UK press and music industry were full of praise and sentimental eulogising for Jacko… Now I’m no big Jackson fan, but it made me sick when I saw the UK tabloids giving all that ‘King of Pop’ shite when only 12 months before they were trying to destroy him… Whether he was a nonce or not (I’m not sure), after his death, Jackson was seen as a way to sell papers, special ‘souvenir’ tributes, and endless CD and DVD cash-ins… Even his fucking brothers got in on the act… Tito Jackson (who he? I hear you say) doing a tour as a ‘tribute’ to his late brother… What a grabbing cunt…

        I

  29. Bugger me, return from the grave orf old ISAC favourite and confirmed bachelor Ted Heath. Now demands for an enquiry as to why ongoing investigations in to alleged paedo behaviour by him were dropped by Wiltshire police.

    • Maybe his old mate, Sir Jimmy, had a word with them… Goodness gracious, guys ‘n’ galz….

    • The man who sold our arses to the Fourth Reich, wouldn’t surprise me if he was a toddler toucher. Not at all….

  30. My picks are (in hope rather than expectation)
    :
    Stuart Hall – some lifer might shank the dirty old cunt
    Brian Cox – smug kickable twat
    Jules Hudson – genuine as a nine pound note
    Brian Blessed – can’t stand his stupid voice
    Walter Palmer – he might top himself in remorse over the forty three deaths attributed to him, but I’m not holding my breath

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