Dead Pool 20

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Christopher Lee

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke who came up on the rails with a late nomination for Sir Christopher Lee. He died last Sunday but they only announced it today – presumably to make sure that, given past performance, he didn’t rise back up from the grave?

Well played, Limpers. You join Dioclese as a three time winner. If we had a trophy, then you’d be allowed to keep – but we don’t so tough shit!

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 20.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

163 thoughts on “Dead Pool 20”

    • I like to think lovely Vera Lynn “The Forces’ Sweetheart” of WW2 will live a lot longer and celebrate her 100th and 110th birthday.

      • 98 good god thats old , but i suppose they will have to change the lyric title “There’ll Always Be an England” to “There will always be a PakiMuzzle-England” now.
        -Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
        Remember how she said that
        We would meet again
        Some sunny day?
        Vera! Vera!
        What has become of you?
        Does anybody else here
        Feel the way I do?
        -Pink Floyd

    • My super death list cunts;
      some cunt on a bike,, crushed under the wheels of an HGV
      some other cunt on a bike, skull smashed by a steam roller
      another cunt on a bike, killed by his own too-tight faggot outfit
      non-smoking cunt on a bike, killed by somebody normal
      “SiR”Chris Hoy killed by his own inflated sense of worth
      Notice a theme here ? Yes, I despise these cocksukers

      • I am at a loss why Hoy deserved a knighthood when a para who dies for his country doesn’t even get the medal he deserves.

        And don’t even start me on Lenny fucking Henry…

  2. I’ll have my usual suspects please:

    Clive James
    Warren Mitchell
    Denis Nordern
    Denis Healey
    Doris Day

  3. Sir Bernard Ingham
    Chuck Berry
    Little Richard
    Jerry Lee Lewis
    Greville Janner

  4. My dead pool five
    (All house of lords geriatrics soon to meet their maker)

    David Owen
    Julian Grenfell
    Patrick Jenkin
    Michael Ashcroft
    Mary Warnock

    …and the SNP are still prime cunts.

  5. My wish list
    Duke of Edinburgh
    Kim Jong-un
    Queen Elizabeth
    Rupert Murdoch
    Morrissey

  6. I uploaded this from my phone so fingers crossed this works can I please have Zsa Zsa Gabor Joao Havelange Peter O ‘Sullevan Sheila Mercier and Peter Sallis

      • Seeing as Gabor and Havelange were taken in the women`s world cup forum can I please have David Rockefeller and Mary Wilson,Baroness Wilson of Rievaulx as well as the other three I posted earlier?

  7. These five pieces of shit please

    Lily Allen
    Russell Brand
    Greville Janner
    Anthony Hopkins
    Ruggero Deodato.

    Thanks

      • Damn. Missed the announcement on Lee but fair play, he has been in the land orf the undead for so long he was easy to miss. Well finally I get space for a new ‘un in me list which is:

        Muhammed Ali
        Leslie Philips
        Ken Dodd
        Helmut Schmidt
        Jimmy Tarbuck
        and if any other cunt has bagged one orf those I shall have Fred Dinage if you please.

      • Oh dear…..looks like you have some duplictes here as some were posted in the Womens Football Cunting!!

  9. My revised five… 1. Colin Dexter 2. John Carpenter 3. George A Romero 4. Kevin Whatley 5. Thomas Harris…..

    • Romero because Land of the Dead was shite. Carpenter because Escape from L.A. was indescribably shite.

      • And Thomas Harris gets it because all he’s done is cash in on Silence of the Lambs with movie screenplays masquerading as novels (Hannibal/Hannibal Rising). Got nothing against Dexter or Kev Whatley but can’t let sentiment get in the way.

  11. Ursula Haverbeck – the Jews will get her – soon
    Petro Peroshenko – the Right Sector Nazis will get him

      • Ah…
        Sonny John Moore, better known by his stage name Skrillex, is an American electronic music producer, DJ, singer and songwriter
        What an educational site this is! Looks ripe for a proper cunting to me!

      • I too couldn`t think who this was so I googld him and as soon as I saw a picture could tell he was a massive cunt!

      • Skrillex is a a edm and dubstep artist and producer his instrument is a laptop… and has stole his sound off most of the founders of edm , IDM , in the u.k. hes has made millions pressing play and DJ’ing. He’s also the guy who remixes your remix. Also I’ll replace Sepp with Madonna then i think its her time .

  13. Can I add these cunts please;

    Winnie Mandela
    Derek Hatton (got to be some cunt that outcunts this cunt)
    Alex Ferguson
    Jacob Rothschild
    Alan Sugar

  14. Bugger, I should have picked the tall, dark horrific one: Arse.
    Anyway, the pert, blond one has decided, thusly:
    Shawn McGowan
    Miley Cyrus
    Richard O’Sullivan
    Jeremy Kyle
    Graham Norton
    Arthur Askey

    • I’m guessing that these are people you’d like to see dead rather than those at risk of imminent demise – with the exception of Askey who I think you know is already dead. Perhaps he’ll rise up just to piss you off?..

  15. Christopher Lee will always be the definitive Dracula… What the fuck was he he doing in those crappy Star Wars prequels though?

    Ron Moody was offered the part of the Third Doctor after Patrick Troughton, but then Oliver! exploded and that was that…

    Tommy Docherty
    Stephen Lewis (‘Butler! Uuurrrrgh!”)
    Kate Moss (cheers for the tip, Fred)
    Chuck Berry
    Charles Manson

    • Sorry Norman, I already bagged the rancid, snaggle toothed cum dumpster that is Kate Moss.

    • Peeps.

      You have been sorting this blog for a bit but I reckon a minor upgrade could add to the piquancy of the aspirational list? Nominate your nominee but also the preferred manner of their demise? This may not immediately be embraced by those ‘…is a cunt..’. traditionalists, but that’s because you are all, well, cunts! So, in anticipation of becoming ‘that newbie cunt’ pariah, fuck you all very nicely and here is my wish list, you cunts.

      Arthur Scargill: Screaming
      John Prescott: Chewing on Scargill’s cock…..
      Yorkshire: Selective neutron/atom/hydrogen bomb
      Bart Simpson: Sideshow Bob
      The utter Cunt
      next door but one: Accidental collision with sledgehammer

      I realise that the last one may be a bit of a cheater bit if the cunt accidentally gets hit in the face with a seven pound sledgehammer I promise you will be the first to know…

  16. Humble thanks gents. Of course, should the not famous fuckwad become inextricably impacted by the ash-handled fence fitter, I totally understand that my word as a wholly unimpeachable double glazing salesman may not be considered unequivocal so I would copy and paste the relevant obit from the Bogslurry & Pimpworth Gazette. However, in the British tradition of fair play amongst cunts, I will accept my reduced aspirational lottery entry with good grace as I is a gentleman……

    Er, how about making it up with

    Lt Uhura
    Rolf Harris
    Bonnie Langford……

  17. I’d like to nominate Tom Jones, Charlotte Church, Wynn Evans, Shirley Bassey and Bill Roach (Roach, because I can’t think of any more Welsh cunts ). Apart from Katherine Jenkins who has a great pair of titts. I see no one got Gene Wilder then !

  19. I think Prince Phillip maybe due to croak, I actually hope not, but…… Also Angela Lansbury must be about sure to snuff it surely and Nicholas parsons must be about due and maybe even Joan collins she isn’t that young despite her “I’ve never had plastic surgery” claims.

  23. Rat Scabies… What a lad he’s been in his time…

    Nice to see Rolf Harris enjoying hisluxury break in HMP Holiday Homes and boasting about it… This heartless kiddyfucker needs to die very soon, and as painfully as possible….

  24. Did anybody have James Last? An old work colleague of my dad used to love James Last… He listened to that crap all the time…. My old man eventually put a ban on James Last being played in the garage….

  25. Freddy the cunt Starr (wish that cunt would hurry up and snuff it)
    Sean (The brook bond cunt) Connery
    Keith (Hackett face) Richard
    Charlie (alkie druggie bastard) Sheen
    Mick (Frog legs and general ugly cunt) Jagger

  26. Yeah, good choice with that hateful, mysogynistic cunt Freddie unfunny Starr. How he isn’t in clink with Rolf Harris is completely beyond me.

  27. Did anyone have composer James Horner? Musical fame and light aircraft seem to be an unhealthy mix.

  28. Expect a load of griefjacking cunts on Twatter posting that disgusting Celine Dion song…

    On the subject of musical types popping off, I hope somebody will turn up at Glastonbury with a gun this weekend and shoot that talentless, up himself cunt, Kayne West…

    • And somebody really should have warned Celine Dion about that chorus. Now I know that her first language is French not English and she’s, like, this megastar but nevertheless….

      “My love will go on Dan Dong”

      Who the fuck is Dan Dong? Did he go down with the ship? I think we should be told…

  30. Had Macnee quite a few pools ago. Than I think Fred West had him but then he dropped orf the radar for us all. Bugger.

    • Yeah, I had Macnee for a couple of Pools too, but switched to Doris Day. Thought I’d better have at least one woman in case I was accused of being sexist or in case anyone said that they felt raped because my choices excluded women…

      • Well I only have two women out of 5 on my current list so the feminazi brigade would still feel that I am reproducing the tyranny of patriarchy or sumething but then again men die younger than women so an all male team is perhaps more statistically likely to give you a hit.

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