From shit pubs to shit “stout” Oirland has given us many things, and St Paddy’s Day is the absolute pits. Every March 17th plastics up and down England get to get dead drunk, shout, swear and sing “rebel songs” from the comfort of a town centre pub, safe in the knowledge Al-Qaeda or ISIL won’t gut them, a guarantee only made true by the hard work of British security services (which they say they hate).
And such is the hypocrisy on display when these lazy ass bastards, who profess to love Oiiirlannnd so much they can’t even be arsed to fuck off and live there and prefer instead to live here and mouth off about how much they “hate the fucking English”.
So we sensible folk look on, pity in our eyes, as these sad bastards – who profess to love their “spiritual home” so much yet will never know the joy of living there – make complete tits of themselves in naff green costumes serenaded by faux-traditional “music”.
One of the worst things about living in England is all the shit foreign customs we get to be “enriched” by, and St Paddy’s Day is the best (worst) example of that.
Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain
The fucking bogtrotters export their tedious national day and crappy stout all over the world. What amazes the fuck out of me is how non-Irish cunts lap it all up. Our own national day (Waitangi) passes by with nary a mention. Likewise St. Georges Day or American Independence.
But say the magic words ” St. Patrick” and presto fucking changeo every cunt suddenly thinks they’re in Dublin. Fake, boring and coming to a bar near you soon.
Nominated by: Kiwicunt
Much like so many of us I too have a spattering of pikey Irish blood in me, maybe that is the part that makes me such a CUNT!!!
But for me that is where it stops. As far as I am concerned I am English, note not British, and every form I have the opportunity to fill in a nationality on I will put English!!! I was born here to an English father and English born Irish mother just like all these other PLASTIC FUCKING PADDY CUNTS that don’t sound Irish, smell Irish, have lived their entire lives here born and bred in England………..like most of their parents!!
As for the Emerald Isle itself…….well that is pretty much a shithole. Dublin may be pretty to look at but having been there last year for a youth rugby tour I can say Cork is a dump, Limerick is a shithole and Galway is no fucking better than the other two!!! All of these major towns in the drunkard’s motherland are run down and full of peasants!!
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Me too, I have a bit of da eyerish in me on my mothers side, luckily only an eighth eyerish but thats enough believe me!
“Dares moar tu Eyeland Dan Dis” 😀
“Sunday, bloody Sunday”
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I used to serve with a guy from Donegal. Don’t ask me why he was in the British Army. On an exercise in the US we ended up working a US Army infantry unit. When one their guys found out that Billy was from Southern Ireland, his first words to him, (in a broad New York accent), were “Hi, I’m Irish too”. Billy looked this guy up and down, and replied, “no you’re fucking not. You’re of Irish descent, but you’re not Irish. You’re American”. The guy deflated like a burst balloon.
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“Irish Americans” are major cunts.
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That’s the trouble with Yanks – they’re never just yanks – Italian yank, Irish yanks now even fucking Rooshian yanks FFS! Far as I’m concerned, they’re all Cunt Yanks and I wish they’d take their Air Force and fuck off home…
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Whenever they’re asked for their nationality, the Texan side of my family reply, “Texan”.
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I always say English, but the fucking EU still insist I’m European and Westminster still insist I’m British. I’m English and fuck ’em all…
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Hey, my dad was in that air force. He wasn’t a cunt. And neither are that side of my family. Granted though, most of the rest of the U.S. are.
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Nothing against the USAF as such – just want them to get the fuck out of my country and stop starting their diesel gas guzzlers with remote controls under my bedroom window at 5 fuck 20 in the morning!!!
Inconsiderate fuckers…
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The only Yank “Yanks” are English Yanks, but there’s so much Anglophobia at large in America they prefer to leave the “English” bit out.
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In 1945 Ireland signed the book of condolence on Adolf Hitler’s death, but they don’t like to mention that…
I also remember 15 June 1996….. Cunts!
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everybodys a fucking idiot on march 17th just another stupid day to get drunk and cheat on your girlfriend also i wonder how many kids have been abused on this roman catholic holiday , how bout we have you know a day where we actually do something positive how about CUNT Day where everybody is a cunt and everybody has to try not to be one and if your not a cunt then go read a book i dunno , alright whos in favor of cunt day !
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we already have a cunts day, 21st April when that lizard was implanted in the monarchy (according to Icke) lol
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Working in London yesterday I had the extreme displeasure of seeing four tangerine faced scouse skanks dressed in what would best be described as 80’s fashion walking into a bar that was advertising paddy’s day drinks bargains.
What is the betting that there were several reports of handbags being rifled, wallets being dipped and mobile phones being swiped in the time it takes to say ‘…….and a packet of peanuts please.’
I didn’t even know they were scousers until one of the skank beasts opened it’s gob and instead of words, it made a sound like a fox in heat gargling phlegm.
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Q: What’s the difference between a Scouse Skank and a Boeing 747?
A: There’s only one cockpit in a Boeing 747….
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This cuntfucked day for amateur alcoholics is also responsible for an annoying number of fuckhead cunts who show up to work late and in a miserable cunty mood the next day.
Why should I postpone some cunty project for your cunty-cunt-can’t work attitude that was generated after you drank your dumb cuntlips to inebriation on piss poor American “beer” that tastes like an elderly cunt’s discharge?
Answer me, you cunt.
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Fuxake, reading that cunting through again I now realise how pissed I was when I wrote it. But the sentiment still stands – St Patty’s Day is a big, saggy, soggy, sock-hanging-out-of-an-orifice cunt.
I’d like to cunt Theakston’s Old Peculiar, if sobriety and self-responsibility ever let me down again…
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