Jared Kreft


Jared Kreft – a man charged with possession of marijuana and giving a horse a blow job.

Kreft was discovered inside a barn with a marijuana pipe and a jar of petroleum jelly, according to court documents. He was also wearing a face mask and trousers with a hole cut in the crotch area. Police say Kreft told them he had been watching ‘horse pornography’ before going to the barn, performing oral sex on the horse there and then trying to arouse the horse with his hand.

Kreft was charged with sexual gratification with an animal sex organ, possession of drug paraphenalia, possession of marijuana as a repeat offender and bail jumping.

It is so far unclear who owns the barn and horse. Fucking priceless…!

Nominated by: Norman

5 thoughts on “Jared Kreft

  1. A good few years back now, when I was connected with the Turf, had a little ex jockey cunt in me employ as a groom. Had a wonderful way with horses which in general are the most vicious and wayward orf beasts if they have a dodgy blood line. Used to sleep with the horses so they had a peaceful night before a race. Now you mention it the whiffy little wanker was orften to be seen rubbing embrocation into their nether regions. Maintained it calmed them down. Always seemed to work a treat. In racing circles horse tossing goes back centuries. A respected and celebrated art.
    He also had a nice little sideline in horse spunk. How do you think a stud gets it? Mind you I have me suspicions that it was mixed up with some orf his own to make up the quantity. The best bloodstock is always hand reared.

  2. I was tempted to quote that old Chestnut about him being influenced as a child by “Muffin the mule” but thought better of it.
    Amusing the way the crime was reported, notably as it leaves in abeyance, details as to whether he tried to dope the nag first with his Marijuana.
    Still, at least he wasn’t forced to marry the animal

    (and he is a cunt)

    • On the subject of old children’s programmes, Lez: doesn’t that ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother cunt,Alicia Douvall, look uncannily like Torchy The Battery Boy?…

  3. Showing your age Norman!
    Uncanny resemblance, makes one ponder on the thought that after a long career in creating stiff cold eyed wooden puppets, the animator of Torchy turned his skills to plastic surgery…

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