Christmas lights

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christmaslights

I’d like to nominate, with my usual festive goodwill, the legions of cunts who put a strain on the National grid by decorating every tree, every bush and every garden gnome in their gardens with flickering lights. The same cunts who vie with each other to decorate their hovels with huge inflatable illuminated Snowmen, Reindeer and even a 10ft Santa that looks like Jimmy Saville. ( I kid you not).

Not sure if their goal is simple one-upmanship, or to provide alien invaders with a landing zone, or merely to piss off the neighbours. Whatever it is, they are cunts of the first magnitude

The picture says it all.

Nominated by: Lez

32 thoughts on “Christmas lights”

  1. Christmas Lights? What better way to convey a seasonal Christian message orf fellowship and good cheer. Goes back down the centuries (ok we stop at the Victorian period because if you go back too far you find that it was actually ripped orf from our pagan ancestors). Time to treat our ISIL brothers to a jolly good light show in the Middle East (which now calls itself the Caliphuck orf Islam or some such). These psychotic cunts seem to like things black and white so will appreciate the aethestic orf being burned to a black crisp against the white heat orf a nuclear strike.

    Perfect timing right now as the black and white hordes lift up their stones and converge upon weirdo towns like Mosul from their religious asylums across the world. All Christians and non muslims have already been savagely tortured, raped, enslaved and executed so no need to worry about them. Time to go a-nuking. Tally ho and let the earth burn. Oh and if you actually enjoy living under sharia law you can join in by bringing your own sparklers.

    I hope that is black and white enough for my muslim friends. Any Christmas fatwas should be delivered C/O Fred West’s Patio, 25 Cromwell St, Gloucester GL1.

    • Why waste perfectly good Nukes on them? I’m sure the Yanks will have a stockpile of Napalm left over after ‘Nam.
      As a goodwill treat, we could airdrop a few bags of chestnuts for the Kurds to roast in the conflagration.
      Merry Xmas!

      • Ah the old napalm. Indeed Lez but had me mind set rather orn a nice mushroom cloud with sparkly bits. Reminiscent rather orf one those titfers that the ayatollahs sport.
        Actually a few years past did have a go at making some, napalm I mean. Had a plague orf coypu in me drainage ditches. Persistent little fuckers so mixed up a batch orf wallpaper paste and paraffin and sprayed that at ’em out orf an old stirrup pump. Worked a treat. Well I say I, had the under gardener do it, and just as well actually. Spot orf spray drift if you get me drift, and he ended up singing his bollocks rather. Still, good news, he never had much call to use them anyway so bit orf an opportunity to evict the dumb cunt oit orf his married quarters.

      • Quite fond of napalm myself, has a sticking quality which is hard to shake off and burns to the bone. Recently had recourse to sing its praises unto the gods (http://flaxensaxon.blogspot.co.nz/2014/12/napalm-ago-go.html) . As a professional incendiary (arsonist is such a harsh word) I can appreciate its pure chemical simplicity. Effective, efficient and cheap. Especially cheap since the Yank’s shale oil production has kicked in. And what could be cheaper than soap? Getting the right mix is tricky though, but for maximum mayhem is well worth the effort. Is there anything more satisfying than watching the earth and its wretched inhabitants burn? The Middle-East folk already have a great tan that begs to be deepened and enlivened with a few crispy, black tones and edges. Sublime imagery ensues…….

  2. Steve Punt. That’s not a name, that’s rhyming slang – and most apposite rhyming slang too in this instance. Half of “Punt and Dennis” and often employed as a talking head on documentaries about comedians where he is frequently – and erroneously – described as a “comedy writer”. Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to hear ‘The Now Show’ or remembers Punt and Dennis’s tumbleweed moments in ‘The Mary Whitehouse Experience’ will know that there is no conceivable way that Punt could ever be considered a writer of comedy. Comedy writing requires not just technical skill, it requires an instinct and flair for the comedic – an instinct and flair which Punt the Cunt is sorely lacking. Punt is a cunt who mistakes sarcastic delivery for comedy. I remember Newman and Baddiel (the other half of the ‘Mary Whitehouse Experience’ team) once saying something along the lines of “trying to make a comedy show with those two was like trying to create a great concept album, but being forced to share half the tracks with Showaddywaddy”. Steve Punt is not funny. Steve Punt is just a cunt.

    • Steve Punt is indeed a cunt (poetry?). David Baddilel is also a twat… UK Gold (a shit channel that cuts everything up with adverts) has recently had some Morecambe and Wise thing on: Not much stuff from Eric and Ernie themselves, but plenty from cunts like Punt and Baddiel. Instead of showing a Morecambe and Wise sketch, they show Baddilel watching it on a big screen and laughing (in that Des O’ Connoer style showbiz manner!). Nobody wants to watch Baddiel anyway. But who the fuck wants to watch the little turd laughing at a big screen? That’s entertainment?! Television is dead….

  3. Kevin Maguire, Daily Mirror associate editor, all round wank stain. He’s overdue a cunting. The simple fact he works for that shitty rag the Daily Mirror makes him a cunt. But I’ve just watched him doing a review of the years biggest news stories on Sky News with the Daily Mail’s Andrew Pierce and my hatred of this Geordie scum bag has grown even deeper.

    For a start, he’s a left winger. Turns out he’s actually as far to the left as Annie Lennox. Yes, that far. He’s also a rude bastard, constantly talking over Andrew Pierce whenever Pierce said something Maguire didn’t like. That seemed to be pretty much everything Pierce said, because Maguire could be seen shaking his head and talking over Pierce virtually every time Pierce spoke. I have to say, I gained a certain respect for Pierce’s restraint. If Maguire had been that rude to me, I would have been arrested, and Maguire would have been rushed to hospital to have my chair extracted from his mouth. One thing I really cannot tolerate is bad manners. Maguire is a big bag of bad manners.

    What really sickens me about this piece of shit though, is his willingness to go on tv and publicly suck Ed Miliband’s penis. Metaphorically that is, not actually. It was quite a feat actually, because he was simultaneously (metaphorically of course) disappearing up Obama’s anus. Every time Red Ed’s name was mentioned, this little shit’s eyes lit up. The buck toothed twat can do no wrong in Maguire’s eyes. Even Calamity Clegg got a reasonably easy ride. And Maguire couldn’t believe it when Pierce had the audacity to claim that UKIP were hurting Labour to a slightly lesser degree than they were hurting the Tories. It just isn’t happening according to Maguire. The evidence suggests otherwise.

    I’ve made it known in the past that my hatred of Lefties is every bit as strong as my hatred of Muslims. And I hate Maguire even more than I hate Miliband and Balls. Speaking of Muslims, I’m nominating them today as well.

    • Recall him and his stake on immigration. Despite the evidence to the contrary, he still seems to think that a mass influx of benefit tourists is just what this country needs.
      In point of fact, he’s not a Geordie either, coming from South Shields and a lifelong supporter of Sunderland, all of which make him a grade A cunt

      • Maguire is indeed a cunt, but I really struggle to consider anyone to be a bigger cunt than someone connected with the Daily Mail…

      • Trust me Fred, if you’d seen on Sky News this afternoon, you wouldn’t struggle. I know what you mean about the DM, but Maguire actually made Pierce look sane.

      • Ah, my Mistake Lez. He made me so angry I forgot to do my research. My apologies to any Geordies for any offence caused.

      • None taken QDM. Tyneside has more than its fair share of cunts though, from Millipede to Shezza, to Ant & Dec, to Ross Noble and Sarah Millican. Even Jimmy nail is a cunt.

  5. And so, onto cunting No 2.

    Muslims. Followers of the ‘religion of peace’. Or, as ISIS recently revealed, the religion of paedophiles and rapists. Now, I’ve already admitted to disliking Muslims so I won’t pretend otherwise. And I’m not ‘Islamophobic’, because a phobia is an irrational fear of something. I don’t fear them. Nor am I racist, as the followers of Islam come from all races. I dislike Muslims because I don’t trust them. And I don’t trust them because they’ve never given me a reason to trust them. And unlike others who come to live in this country, they are not immigrants, they are colonists. Their aim is to turn Britain into another Islamic shit hole.

    Unlike other religious groups, Sikhs, Hundus, Buddhists, Jew, etc Muslims have done absolutely nothing to fit in with British culture. In fact in a lot of cases, WE have been expected to change in order to accommodate THEIR culture. And thanks to those soppy, hand wringing cunts on the left, that’s exactly what’s happened. Britain today, is one where Sharia courts are tolerated, even though they have absolutely no authority under British law. We have Muslim men living in illegal polygamous marriages, but being allowed to get away with it because ‘it’s their culture’. The problem with that argument though, is THEY live in OUR culture. If a non Muslim were to commit polygamy, they would be prosecuted.

    It’s also their culture to treat woman as fifth class citizens. The property of men. Are we to turn a blind eye to that? It’s their culture to marry off pre-pubescent girls to much older men. Are we supposed to accept that happening in this country? We already have a situation where people are beginning to ask if the meat they buy from supermarkets is Halal. We shouldn’t be having to ask. Why should a fucking minority be allowed to dictate to the majority how the meat we consume is slaughtered? If they must have meat slaughtered in such a barbaric way, they have should specialist butchers.

    Then there’s the so called ‘radical Muslims’. The likes of Hamza, Qatada, Bakri and Choudhary. For years they were allowed to stand out in the streets, preaching hatred and encouraging violence against non Muslims. Why? If I were stand in the street, shouting about how evil Islam is, I’d be arrested for hate crimes. Even though Islam IS evil. They stood on the streets, whingeing about how evil the UK is, how Muslims are oppressed and downtrodden. Obvious lies, yet nobody in authority challenged those lies.

    Someone should have said to them, “Listen, you chose to come and live in the UK. Nobody forced you. You know you’re telling lies, so shut the fuck up. In fact, you should seriously consider using your right to fuck right off out of the UK, and move to a country more to your liking. Saudi Arabia for example. That’s a medieval shit hole, you’d love it there.

    We keep reading about Muslim ‘men’ forming paedophile gangs and raping young white girls, yet the authorities continually try to sweep it under the carpet. They young victims slagged off as lying femmes fatales who led those poor Muslim men on. Even when the scandal first broke, there were some left wing cunts who tried to bury it by telling us that the majority of paedophiles in the UK were White. Yes, but that’s because White people form the majority. Simple numbers. Statistically, by race/religion, there are more Asian Muslim paedophiles than in any other racial/religious group.

    The fact is, Islam is far from being a religion of peace. It is a malevolent belief system that condones acts of violence and murder against everyone who does not follow that belief system. It is also a fact that Islam is incompatible with Western life and values. I live in area with a huge Bangladeshi population. Everyday I see the contempt these so called peaceful Muslims show toward my country. In my opinion, it’s time that Muslims were told to leave the UK, as they are a divisive force, and no longer welcome here.

    • You fucking racist prick! I’m a Muslim!
      Haha, na, only kidding. They’re a right bunch of cunts.
      We should find the shittiest, dingiest, most desolate island in the Outer Hebrides, remove all the flora and fauna from it and then ship any one of the cunts that wants Shariah law/preaches harm to anyone straight out to it saying ‘Here you go my friends, your own little bit of Britain, all to yourselves. Now toddle off and rape and kill each-other on here so the rest of us sane people can continue living in the 21st Century’.

      I knew a couple of Muslims from Uni and in all honesty they were sound as fuck, (even if some of the daft twats didn’t take advantage of 90p pints of lager on Wobble Wednesdays) so I’m not gonna tar them all with the cunt brush. But you are spot on with the majority of this lovely rant.

      Allah shoved you on the driest, most miserable, bleak geographical area on the planet because he fucking hates you. That fellas up in heaven, drinking Cognac from between the massive tits of a lovely white woman while telling stories of this gullible so-and-so he once knew called Mo to Les Dawson and Gerry Rafferty. I’ll tell you something else too, neither of those bad boys turned their living room rugs towards Mecca thrice a day neither.
      Think on Abdul.

    • Spot on, QDM.

      “We have Muslim men living in illegal polygamous marriages, but being allowed to get away with it because ‘it’s their culture’. The problem with that argument though, is THEY live in OUR culture. If a non Muslim were to commit polygamy, they would be prosecuted” – and one can safely assume that they would not exercise the same degree of tolerance if roles were reversed and it was Westerners moving to Muslim countries and trying to uphold Western culture and values…

      • You’re right there Fred. I doubt I would live very long if I moved to Saudi and started demanding the right eat bacon sandwiches and drink alcohol.

  6. That is the best Cunting of Islam I have ever heard.
    The fact remains, that the tendency of the left wing liberal brigade and their followers have made this country the laughing stock of the world by not taking a tougher stance on Islamic fundamentalism. Jews, Hindis, Sikhs and just about every other minority faith whose followers have made their home here have integrated in some form or another, without making the demands that Islam does.
    Despite their protestations that the Qu’ran preaches tolerance and peace, it is littered with exhortations to rape, violence and general intolerance. Not that Christianity is whiter than white, but at least we stopped murdering innocents in the name of God two centuries ago

    • Thank you Lez. With everything that’s happened the past couple of weeks, the Sydney siege, etc, I felt it had to be said. I actually feel better now I’ve got it off my chest.

  7. I remember when Robert Kilroy-Silk was more or less hounded off television: because he said that the Muslim faith treated women like crap….

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