Dead Pool [13]

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_77150038_77150037* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke who correctly predicted the death of luvvy Sir Dickie Attenborough at the age of 90. A richly deserved win for Sir Limply who has been known to nominate the right dead cunt in the wrong Dead Pool. Tough shit, Limpers, but you got there in the end. Gristle will be delighted…

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 13. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each by agreement after a massive public consultation. (Actually, I just asked a couple of people who would agree with me. It works for Cameron & Miliband.) Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice either here or over at Dioclese. Not much of a prize but you do get the kudos of cuntishness aplenty.

Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

30 thoughts on “Dead Pool [13]”

  1. Well done Limpers. I’m keeping the same 5 :

    Billy Graham
    Gough Whitlam
    Kirk Douglas
    Peter O’Sullivan
    Wilko Johnson

    • Yeah, there should be a Fantasy Dead Poll too –

      Iain Duncan Smith
      Rupert Murdoch
      Michael Gove
      Paul Dacre (Editor of the Daily Mail)
      Alan Titchmarsh

  4. Hooray – the cunt is dead – long live the cunt (the coal-burner Kelly Brook).

    Nicholas Parsons (4 feather Falls)
    Desmond Tutu (niggy noggy poodles)
    Gaza (not the land – the shit-skin alcoholic)
    Fearne Cotton (dirty heroin junkie slag)

  5. Wonder how long before thecolemanexperience attributes Dickie’s death to the “fact” that he was about to reveal the truth about Princess Diana’s death…?

  7. Peter Hain (from fake tan poisoning)
    Ray Reardon
    Bob Hawke
    Gerry Adams (one can but hope)
    Mike Hendrick

  8. Bruce Forsythe
    Greek Prince Phillip
    Barak Obama (On a limb but hes getting closer to a bullet)
    Mary Berry due to the cunting in que
    Joan Rivers

  9. Ian Brady
    Vera Lynn
    Stan Lee
    Jon Venables
    Nicholas Parsons (“young wife”..hot contender)

  10. In that case may I have William Shatner? About time he beamed up to the pearly gates

  11. Right, I’m now really fucking grumpy that Sir Limply nicked Dickie Attenborough from me in the last Dead Pool. This was supposed to be my bastard victory. Cunt.

    New names? I got nuthin’, but at least its fresh nuthin’

    Acker Bilk,
    Denis Healey
    Jean Alexander
    Cliff Michelmore
    John the Jihadi who beheaded James Foley

    Anyway, Gazza won’t be next. He’s just signed for some shithole team in Bournemouth so he’s got to be good for another few months of breathing.

    http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/latest/paul-gascoigne-signs-for-bournemouth-sunday-league-side-1-3516641

    Also, as the owner of the server ISAC is hosted on I’m sorry that the site stability has been a bit shit today. It wasn’t my fault but I’m kindly and thoughtfully apologising anyway, you complete and utter bunch of beefers.

    • I knew that they were arsing about with it for maintenance but didn’t know when. I read about it over on that other site where I’m not allowed to comment 😉

  12. 1)Zsa Zsa Gabor-Actress
    2)Leonard Nimoy- Spock
    3)Nancy Reagan-Former First Lady
    4)Douglas Slocombe-Cinematographer
    5)Caroline Aherne-Mrs Merton and Royal family actress

  13. Okay: Am sticking with a couple of old favs:
    Miley Cyrus
    Richard O’Sullivan
    John Knoakes (gotta be on his last legs- ‘get down shep’)
    Aunty Val Singleton
    Cassius Clay
    I would have liked to have nominated Arthur Askey, but he is already dead.

  14. Just noted that ‘Aristo cunt’ Sir Limply has Mohammed Ali. Okay, I’m betting he has death bed conversion back to Cassius Clay. That being the case, he’s mine. That tickety boo with you Sir Limply? I’d shake your hand on it but I’m afraid it would fall orf due to extreme old age. Arse..

      • Fuck. She’s pretty much guaranteed to win this round I reckon.

        On another note, I’ve got Denis Healey on my list of five.

        Happy fucking 97th birthday today you wanker.

        Hope you choke on your birthday cake. I want the win.

  16. I’d like to nominate Barbera Windsor, Jim Dale, (thought I might of been on a roll here picking the carry on team but it appears they’re the only cunts left) Judi Dench, Michael Parkinson and Brian Cox the actor not the scientist although we can live in hope.

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