A block of quorn, cut into cubes and fried to a golden brown, served with a nice plate of chips, makes for a tasty little meal. Well, it does if you leave out the quorn and replace it with some crisp streaky bacon and a sausage or two. And a fried egg and some beans. And several thick slices of black pudding. Plus a fried slice cooked in the bacon fat.

Consistency? Somewhere between a barbecue firelighter and a polystyrene ceiling tile. Taste? None to speak of, chewing the rubber on the tip of a pencil being a good deal more flavoursome.

Quorn is tasteless rubbery crap, don’t waste your time on it. Scoff a fat greasy burger instead, then take a dump and have a kip. Much more satisfying.

Nominated by: Tony

13 thoughts on “Quorn

  1. Doubtless the twat has already been nominated by someone but I think Bono is a 24 carat , prize cunt . He wants everybody to alleviate Third World debt while the cunt doesn’t pay any taxes himself because his company is registered in Holland . What a prize pillow humping thundercunt !

  2. Try feeding quorn to your cat – it will hiss and vomit, then jump off the wardrobe and kill you in your sleep.

  3. That one carton of tasteless shite will feed Morrissey for a whole year. No wonder the cunt is insane and miserable.

  4. Now, I’m not sure in this PC world we live in if we could even consider this person as a cunt but here goes…

    I would like to nominate none other than Barack Obama as cunt of the decade. I mean, what sort of cunt wins the nobel peace prize for starting more wars than any other cunt in recent history?

    OK, he may have inherited one or two from the Bushy Cunt but he’s done pretty well at starting others as well. The cunt’s done Libya, Syria and now he’s trying his best to kick start cunting WW3 in Ukraine. I know he’s a bit to go to beat that cunt Stalin but you can’t fault the cunts efforts to date. And the cunt’s not finished there either. He’s trying to wind up those slant eyed cunts in China and Japan having got them arguing over some piece of cunting rock that’s no cunting use to anyone. They’ve got to be top cunts to fall for that.

    I know that in political terms this may be a difficult one but as the worlds most powerful cunt he is in a position to do something cuntingly positive and has failed to do so. To that end I nominate him as a real cunt above all other cunts.

    PS. Do I win a prize for putting the word “cunt” into a nomination more times than any other cunt?

    • Staggeringly this cunt as only been fingered (sic) once before. Consider him added to the list!

      • Thanks Dioclese, and well done to this site for enabling a huge number of cunts like me to nominate from a seemingly endless supply of cunts that exist on this cunting planet.

        It certainly puts that cunt Darwins theory into perspective. Everybody knows that Adam was the first ever cunt!

    • There’s also the fact Bollock O’Arsehole’s father was a mau mau terrorist cunt. Which is why he hates the UK. Then there’s the arrogance, and the apparent disregard for the high office he’s in.

  5. Actually I like Quorn. Cooked with care, it can taste quite nice. As to the devotees of the roadside Lard vans, just wait until you are in hospital suffering from fatty degeneration of the heart, blocked arteries and a pot belly like a pregnant Sumo wrestler.
    Obama and Bono are both cunts though.

    • Can I nominate Captain Tripps as a Cunt please? for eating Qourn? Come on, anyone who eats something with the letter Q in it has to be an automatic nomination

  6. We were eating Xmas dinner one year: My sister is a veggie. She asked me to try a bit of her Quorn “lamb substitute” instead of my usual turkey. I tried abit and it tasted like dried horseshit in gravy…

    U2 did some good stuff a while back (“The Unforgettable Fire” album is a good’un!). But Bono is a tit and a champagne socialist uber luvvie. His wife is also a cunt: Attempting to take someone (Stella McCartney) to court over a word that has been in the dictionary for centuries (Nude: as in the Stella perfume). That is stupid enough. But trying to go into legal battle with Macca’s daughter is just fucking suicide. Silly tart….

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