Congratulations to Ollie Burton’s Grandad who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket … therefore becoming a dead cunt.
Ollie correctly predicted “Well I reckon that the ex terrorist and Lime quarry Worker Nelson Mandela will be the next cunt to cop his fucking wack, the fucker has been living on borrowed time for a while now; here’s hoping for 2 in a row!”
Well done! OK – it took a while this time round and you now have your two in row – so it’s a play off between you and Dioclese for the first hat trick.
Ollie wins a guest post on the subject of his choice. Just send it to dioclese@virginmedia.com and we’ll tart it up and post it.
The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 6.
One rule change and in case you’re new to the world of predicting bucket kicking cunts, here’s a refresher:
1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of three cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.
2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.
Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion post and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.
Good luck and please address all T-shirt orders to Flaxen Saxon…
I’m getting mine in first this time with a vote for writer, historian and journalist Chapman Pincher, famous for once trying to prove that Harold Wilson was a Soviet spy.
The old cunt is still working at the age of 99 so if he’s not dead by the time this gets posted then it surely can’t be long, can it?
I read one of his books once. It nearly killed me off with boredom.
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I’m taking Val Doonican.
He’s 86 and luckily for us he hasn’t sung in public since 2009.
Plus his house is just down the road from where I live and he’s making the place look untidy so we need rid.
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I’m sticking with the smug, squinty-eyed, not-as-funny-as-he-thinks-he-is Aussie cunt, Clive James.
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Well for my hat trick attempts of dead cunts I am going for the 1950s Hungarian sexpot but now a one legged bed ridden tube fed spastic Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Die you fucking bitch and do it sharpish.
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A tactical nomination there, OBG ‘cos you plumped for the bitch I nominated in the last pool.
If you win, I claim a half share!..
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Indeed you did Sir, which does i admit give you the moral high ground in this matter but no share if she pops her fucking clogs first.
To be honest I reckon your first pick could be a winner.
As Zsa Zsa has only one leg I presume she can pop her clog!
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As Arthur Askey has shuffled off, albeit slowly as he only had one leg, I’m going for that slutty imp Miley Cyrus. Yes, I’m aware she’s a rank outsider but she has the whiff of death about her. Wouldn’t be surprised if they found her twerked to death in some seedy hotel room. I’m an optimist and live in hope
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my money is on brucy…. this old cunt has fucked everything standing from miss worlds to the slapper on the subway. Dirty old cunt i bet he’s had a five knuckle shuffle from some scabby homeless tart when he’s been a bit strung out. forsythe, you cunt dont do a sinatra on me and go on for ever and a fucking day!
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Interesting to reflect on the cunts we missed :
Hugo Chavez
Eric Priebke (although I had him in the wrong Dead Pool!)
Bruce Reynolds
Anna Wing / Lou Beale
Bernie Nolan
Henry Cecil
Reg Presley
Patty Andrews
Michael Winner
Margaret Thatcher
…and I’m sure there’s a load more who shuffled off this year.
So many dead cunts, so little time! And even with five goes a piece we missed the fucking lot of ’em.
And I don’t care what anybody says, Mandela was still a cunt. If you want to throw up in a torrent of fawning bullshite, read this bollocks in the Torygraph :
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100249502/few-human-beings-can-be-compared-to-jesus-christ-nelson-mandela-was-one/
FFS!
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Yes Winner and Thatcher in particular were tap-in’s.
My post has not registered for some reason so if this comes up twice, apologies to all the cunts out there.
My attempt at breaking the OBG/Dioclese stranglehold has led me to fuck Norden off, he cocked it up big time and has lost my confidence. Freddie Starr on the other hand is looking very ropy these days. The Hamster eating in the 80’s, the clunk clinking with So-Vile in the 70’s has taken it’s toll.
FW De Klerk in the win double is too bigger ask.
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I’ll put you down for Starr then unless you tell me otherwise?
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Yeah Freddie is my nomination. I believed him at first about that shit but he got out a super injunction and lied about meeting Karen Ward and about the amount of times he met Savile. I’m not saying he was an out an out nonce but he was certainly a cunt and looks fucked. That said if Norden pops his clogs now I’ll be well pissed off!
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I am going back in the dead pool with the Greek Cunt Price Phillip. Another fucking leach.
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Prince Phillip that should have read for dead pool. AKA That royal Cunt
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Prince Philip is probably a good bet.
I like the cunt though. I hope he croaks it doing something entertainingly stupid, not in a hospital bed reeking of his own piss.
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Can I nominate that Cuban commie cunt Fidel Castro. Another ex leader who at 87 must be due a visit from the grim reaper ?
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although i have nominated brucy (Dead pool) …. in fairness david attenborough is looking a bit on the doddery side, one slip and bang goes a hip, no fucking about with mountain gorillas for that fucker now…… anyhow, another fucker that has escaped the glare of my cunting eye is ronnie corbet that short fat cunt is rattling on a bit …… fer fucks sake.
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Got to be Muhammad Ali for the dead pool. The cunt’s had Parkinsons longer than Marty McFly!
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I’m putting forward mikhail Kalashnikov. That Russian cunt has been in and out hospital with his ticker. A cold winter could finish the cunt off…
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Since some cunt has stolen my previous pool nomination of Muhammed Ali at the time of the Olympics and remember cunt that Stokes never forgive or forget, I nominate another of my previous, Christopher Lee. The ancient Prince of Darkness has to be propped up in front of camera these days.
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Commy Cunt Tony Benn looks ropey.
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In order of preference.
Ian Brady
Phillip the Greek
Bruce Forsyth
Rolf Harris
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Brady duly added. The Greek and Brucey are already taken.
Only one at the moment, but might open it up to more if it goes on a bit like the last pool. Thanks for joining in the fun.
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Jesus H Christ cunters!!! Get orf yer arses and nominate some original dead cunts instead of just rehashing previous pools (unless it was your original nom originally if you get me drift). Remember a Stoke never forgets so STOP trying to pass orf a cribbed cunt as your own devine inspiration. Play the white man and at least credit your source donchaknow. You know who you are.
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George Cole.
Never thought he was much of a cunt or anything, but I feel quite confident with this nomination. (Unless he is dead already)
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He’s 88 and still not dead.
Published his autobiography last year (“The World Was My Lobster”) which is now available in all good charity shops so he must be skint.
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It seems as if some one really needs to look at the fucking rules before wasting there time penning utter bollocks.
“The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 6.”
Amazingly simple; you pick who the fuck you want to. “You know who you are”
A Piss soaked deluded fuckwitt lurking in a care home awaiting medication no doubt.
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I know it’s only one cunt each, but that woman who plays Dot Cotton has got to be soon for the croaking.
For politicians, Dennis Healy is 95 so it’s about time to bury him in the Kremlin.
In sport, Mohammad Ali I reckon.
As a wild card I’d go for Justin Bieber. If only that came true…
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Maybe have a system like betting in the Grand national? You have a tenner on a 8 or 10/1 shot, then a quid each way on a 66/1 shot? If that’s the case Ian Duncan Smith is my 66/1 shot, the horrible fascist old cunt. It probably wont happen but there was a year when a 100/1 horse won the national.
Bieber kicking the bucket? 200/1 for that but good luck anyhow.
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If not odds on here then perhaps a bonus for method.
Tom Daley: suicide after a letter from an AIDS clinic, found face down in an inflatable paddling pool in the back garden of an extra from Hollyoaks,
Justin Beiber: I’ll take London cunt’s 200/1 because I reckon by the end of the year he’ll be found dead of a drugs overdose with his trousers round his ankles in a Clapham Common public toilet.
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Gary Glitter aka Paul Gadd for me. That Peado cunt has wasted enough oxygen
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OK OK – I’m getting the message already. Would you like three each? After all it is Christmas!!
Yes? OK then. I’m adding Ronnie Biggs and Kirk Douglas.
Here’s the definitive list but let me know if I have any wrong
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Okay, if we can have three then I want Richard (been on borrowed time for a long time) O’Sullivan and Shane (two livers) MacGowan. Of course old snuggle teeth may be already dead, but how can we tell?
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Should be snaggle teeth by the way. Snuggle teeth makes no sense.
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3 Each? Merry Christmas to you Sir. Well It’s Starr, IDS and another rank outsider but Barry Scott from the Cillit bang adverts has been wearing the very same clothes for at least 10 years, strange when the bloke is clearly obsessed with cleaning. I think the man is insane. If Cillit Bang sacked Mr Scott i doubt he’d find employment again, he’ll then be put on one of Mr Duncan Shits slave labour schemes, tipping him over the edge. Barry turns renegade, makes crude bombs from his armoury of bleaches and blows up IDS then tops himself by drinking Cillit Bang grime and shine. Double dead cunt!!
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No cunt had Peter O’Toole then?
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Afraid not – but at least the drunken old cunt is dead. I looked back through the old lists (sad or what?) and I don’t think anyone has ever nominated him.
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For my Christmas bonus pair, I’d like Denis Nordern and Sir Dickie Attenborough.
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Consider it done, Fred
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Fred if Norden kicks the bucket first and wins I’ll nominate myself for my lack of patience. I feel like a spurned lover. Oh Dennis we could have been so good together. Don’t die please you old cunt. C’mon you boring old cunt hang on, hang on. Dennis, Dennis wake up!!! I could always hope that he gets the Nelson treatment and gets held on ice , lying in outtake state for a while, in the meantime Mr Starr gets front page news and reported on immediately but I’ve fucked up and I know it. Bollocks!
Personally I reckon whoever said Gary Glitter earlier deserves to win but that piece of shit aint going anywhere is he? Wishful thinking there.
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Kindly add Doris Day and Roy Hudd to me tally. Pity we slipped up on O’Toole. Had absolutely no business living so long. Napped him several pools ago. Only consolation no other cunt got him.
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Added to the list
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Right here we go for my next two choices!
1) Joao Havalange. Fat bribe taking Brazilian bastard who ran FIFA for fucking eons; salting away millions, sly dodgy old cunt.
2) Samuel Simon. One of the creators if he Simpsons which automatically makes him a right cunt in my eyes. Was given 3 months to live a year ago so his fucking luck must run out soon for fucks sake.
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3 months to live? Ho ho ho – just look at Megrahi and Biggsy. You’ll be lucky!
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Congrats to Dioclese on choosing train-robbing cunt Ronnie Biggs!
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