The Cunter’s Dictionary


Following an excellent suggestion by King Cnut, we are proud to announce the Cunter’s Dictionary – a glossary of fine terms that can be used to describe the prize cunts of the world together with their definitions.

Additions to this fine tome are invited and will be added as and when we can be arsed…

accunting summary justice handed out by a cunter – or – false book keeping
Archbishop of Cunterbury pointless cunt and head of the Church of England
americunt teflon coated war monger
Agincunt notable English away win fought on St Cuntins day
advocunt cunt who speaks up for another cunt
acuntcronym cunt word formed by combining the initial letters of a multipart name, such as the wages theft “Pay As You Earn” (PAYE)
adjecuntive qualifier of a cunt-noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and of several suffixes, such as cuntable, cuntous, cunter and cuntest
aristocunt a rich upper class twit
anaerobic cunt a cunt underneath the slime
acuntrobatics manoeuvres of a pissed cunt
acuntlyte fanatical follower of a major cunt (eg: Morrissey fans, Harry Potter cunts etc)
africunt probably your neighbour next week
agricunturist industrial scale weed farmer
AINACS slow driving cunt’s rear view
acuntability quality of being able to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
anglocunt an English person acting like a cunt when abroad on trips or holidays
book of cuntdolence place for luvvies to leave their thumb print for a dead celebricunt
barcunt thing that makes the till go ‘beep’
cunt satchel a cunt with multiple cuntitudes held within them – like in a satchel
celebricunt pointless, talentless pixel shifter
cuntputer device used to cunt cunts
circuntvent hole in a cunt’s face from whence issues cuntishness. (esp. politicians, rappers….etc)
cuntryfile a repository of cuntishness
cunt factor a measure from 1 to 10 for measuring cuntishness – or – a talentless TV show
cuntometer a device for measure a person’s cunt factor
cuntdown boring quiz show for smartarsed cunts
cuntsearchers cunts who find and expose the real cunts
correctorcunting the art of non-politically correct cunting
cuntservatives caviar eating, champagne guzzling, Etonian bottybashing cunts who govern Great Britain (also known as Tory Cunts)
cuntstable person who is never there when you need him
cuntstitution guide lines governing Cuntitudiness
cuntstubble’s Hay Wain newly coiffured Cunters greeting to a Man U player
cuntrycide retaliation of the be-cunted
cuntry Seat Chequers
Cuntstantinople the final frontier
cuntvict an Australian
cuntrary cunters normal stand point
cunterpoint music for cunts
(in the) cuntch cunt in a difficult or vulnerable position; “he cunted me and left me in the cuntch”
clunt someone who is both a clown and a cunt
cuntural enrichment PC phrase for embracing diversity
cybercunts mindless, immature individuals such as internet trolls
cuntivore a person who eats pussy
cuntocracy a cuntry or organisation ruled by a cunt or cunts (e.g. North Korean, Tipton)
chilcunt procrastinating self, or friends, arse coverer
compocunt a compensation seeking cunt
cuntsistant a consistant cunt
cuntney a cockney cunt
cuntocrat a born cunt
cuntroversy is someone a cunt or not?
cuntfrontation two cunts arguing
cunt++ cunty programming language
(the) cunt in the hat Jamiroquai
cuntweazle sneaky cunt
cnt amerikan spelling
cunter comes between trot and whoa slow down you cunt
cuntstabulary where they keep police horses
cuntney Londoner
cuntradiction no it cunting isn’t!
cuntonation street once a benchmark in telly… Now a benchmark for cunts
cuntvict an australian
cuntiac american pimpmobile
cuntaloupe fruity cunt
Cuntney Love smack riddled scrag-end of the rock ‘n’ roll groupie market
cuntgratulations bad loser’s compliments
cuntsultant 33rd degree satanic quack (in mufti)
cuntvert bring someone to the dark side
cuntmas season of false bonhomie and SCUD (see ‘S’)
cuntryside ranger cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging (good luck with that one)
cuntment allez-vous? franglais – wassup yer cunt?
c’unt bien franglais – champion; fucking champion
charcunterie franglais – butty shoppe
distinguished cunt a cunt who stands out even amongst other cunts
discunt opening gambit for a shopping cunt
discruntled somewhat miffed cunt
descunt melody or cunterpoint
descunts (french) as in ‘des cunts est sur les totties’
decunthalon ten sports in one for the also ran cunts
decuntpitude fucked, knackered old cunt
discuntability condition of being unable to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
dead cunt walking deadpool nominated celbricunt
dicuntionary tome that contains words you can not spell. Not much fekin use if you don’t know how to spell the word in the first place
dickuntson cunt with a weird suntan
differential cuntulus a way for degree toting cunts to show off
difficunt lazy cunt’s attitude to something requiring considerable effort
epicuntean self professed expert on foodycunts (see ‘foodycunt’)
ecocunt a green cunt
ecuntologist smoking, diesel driving, coal burning, sump oil down the drain kinda cunt
foodycunts pretentious self-important cooks and chefs such as the chef-cunt Jamie Oliver
four seasons cunt simply a cunt all year round
First Cunt Is The Deepest never getting over being dumped (or not getting a shag) off your first girlfriend
ecuntity path to benefit wealth
francocunt an English person that likes all things French
holographic cunt a cunt from all angles
hurricunt someone who is such a cunt (like a Hurricane) they sweep up all around them in a mass of devastating cuntitude (e.g Iain Duncan Smith)
horticunturist weed farmer
horse cunt as in “look at the cunt on that horse”. A deceptive phrase that refers to the rider on a horse and not the actual cunt of the filly horse. (see “Mounted Cunt”)
idicuntom expression peculiar to itself grammatically or that cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on cunts”
Intercunt Service Provider awful Internet Service Provider (ISP) such as Virgin Media and Talk Talk
immicunt a immigrant cunt – or – a cunt who works for the immigration service
immacuntlate a perfect cunt
immacuntlate birth honest Joseph I aint never not been wiv no one else. Innit!
jihadicunt islamic male with small penis and scruffy beard carrying a gun or bomb – or – islamic female wearing a burka-sack garment hiding explosives
jackcuntnory kids stories for kids who are little cunts
jack-in-the-cunt pops up from time to time as cunter clown or jester
je ne cuntprends pas franglais – speak English ya’ cunt!
Kayne Cunt self important, talentless, gets away with murder cunt (see also Cunt Kardashian = fat arsed slapper, wife of Kanye Cunt)
kleptocunt theiving cunt (e.g. a Liverpudlian)
kleptocunt & son dirty old cunts
klu kuny klan racist chickenshagging cross burning sheet wearing cunts
lubricunt KY jelly
lexicunt a dictionary of cunts
lock, stock and two smoking cunts lesbian post coital ciggy
mulletcunt a cunt with a dead cat masquerading as hair
mourinho cunt cunt who is in a very privileged position, has a lot going for them, wins a lot, but is still always a sour faced miserable cunt
medicunts quacks and foreigners in the NHS
morricunt a hypocritical veggie eating ego maniac
magnificunt a magnificent cunt
mancuntians northern cunts (e.g. Oasis)
mornincunt crescent cunty panel game
mounted cunt a cunt on horse, especially a Metropolitan police officer cunt on a horse.(see “horse cunt)
morning cunt lead in yer pencil and no one to write to
neocunticism revival of classical style (in art or literature or architecture or music) but from a new cuntish perspective
octocunt a group of eight cunts, especially mancuntians or kleptocunts
ocean going cunt cunt of titanic proportions
plebocunt a common cunt
pourcunt franglais – Why the fuck?
quadrillocunt The Cunt Identity, Ultimatum, Supremacy, Legacy – pretentious up their own arse piss poor films made by cunts, starring cunts and watched by cunts
plutocunt a rich cunt
QUNTY broken keyboard incorrectly reassembled
rusticunts a expression for cunt villagers
recalcicunt cunter who doesn’t give a cunt
replicunt a copy cat cunt
recunting a cunt telling a story
swiss army cunt a person with cuntishness for every occasion
seasonal cunt someone who becomes a cunt at certain times of the year e.g. Christmas
scuntnik any Russian cunt or one of the rulers in a Russian oligarchy
scuntish of or concerning the haggis chomping, papist sheep shaggers
sissycunt timid milksop cunt considered childish or unassertive. Often says: “He’s not really a cunt” or “she’s not really a cunt”
cunt’s watering hole
Strictly Cunts Dancing – or – Christmas eyebola: symptoms: bleeding of the eyeballs
tecuntnology gizmo’s one generation too advanced for a cunt
tourettes fucking cunt!
tailcunter cunt who watches another cunt’s back
tacuntograph ministry tool to circumvent the use of three log books and two sets of number plates. (HGV)(Happy days)
tour de cunts sweaty, be-lycra’d, chain grinder race. In fekin france
Très bien, mercunt Franglais – Thanks a lot, cunt!
universal cunt a cunt whose cuntitude can be recognised by people all over the world, even to cunts who don’t know what cunt means
upfront cunt cunt who makes no effort to hide their Cuntitude
Uber Cünt (or Unt Cünt) cunt from ze fatherland
vacunt a cunt who’s a bit slow on the uptake
vacuunt a hoover
weapons grade cunt a cunt who’s a threat to humanity (e.g. Tony Blair)
whizzcunt a self made cunt
wancuntle engine source of schoolboy humour
yoocuntility rip-off energy commodity or service company, such as E-on electricity, Thames Water or British Gas

104 thoughts on “The Cunter’s Dictionary


    …is a cunt or “ISAC” has a diverse membership of cunter companies, cunting providers, cuntitude manufacturers and general cunters who rely on Information Technology cunting for the success of their enterprises. Although these cunters are unique, they all provide value to and receive value from ISAC.

    ISAC enables cunters to connect with other IT cunters across the critical cunting infrastructure community. We compare cunts with other cunts to have a better understanding of the cunt threat environment.

    ISAC member allies are excellent at sharing cunted information on how to identify cunts in the MSM media networks. ISAC is a valuable cuntitude industry forum for trusted information sharing about the cunts – it is one of ISAC methods to combat and expose cunts in the media that harm us, our families and our country. ISAC is the best example of industry collaboration to address the cyber risks of all cunts.

    ISAC provides time sensitive indicators and warnings for pretend cunters, such as trolls, including malware signatures, malicious IP addresses, and attack tactics and techniques. The ISAC management enables us to make informed risk management cunting decisions.

  2. What is in chicken but not in Honduras?
    What is in Honduras but not in chicken?
    What is both chicken and Honduras?
    What is in neither chicken or Honduras?

    Answer: cunt!

  3. Mr D, I see you have started adding cunty-words from us, including mine, to the dictionary.

    Do you want to also add the cunty-terms? Like my “Intercunt Service Provider” or “yoocuntility” (see definitions of them on my earlier post above).

    • I’m working my way through them all – seems to have been a popular idea. Also makes a shit load of work for me but I guess I can only blame myself for that!!!

      • When you have a spare minute you couldn’t organize a bit of script to auto update our spell check dictionaries could you old chap?

        I’ll just get me coat……………..

  4. In case anyone is wondering where their comments have disappeared to, I’ve been clearing them off as I transfer them to the notepad for adding to the dictionary. At 100+ comments it was getting a bit unwieldy and I saw no point in them being on the page and in the comments.

    I’m working through them, but it will take a while…

      • Whilst you are in Australia, expect lots more cunty words and terms from me to your inbox for the dictionary.

        Me and Mrs E are off on our annual 2 week haute cuisine gourmet jaunt to France next week. For more refined sensuous enjoyment. We are both connoisseurs of fine French food and drink. But in no way are we foodycunts!

      • In the past, whilst on holidays in France, I have over heard some French bigot frogs call me a “chatte anglaises”. (slang for English cunt). But the Mrs and me often over hear the frogs calling us “les rosbifs” (“the roast beefs” meaning English twats).

        I am really an “Anglocunt” when in France and maybe sometimes a “Francocunt” at home in England.

        I think “frogcunt”, meaning any French cunt, is better than Francocunt though.

        Add it to the cunter’s dictionary.

  5. Franglaise Cuntitude.

    Cuntment allez-vous: Wassup Cunt?
    Très bien, mercunt: Thanks alot ya Cunt!
    Je ne cuntprends pas; English! Speak English you………..CUNT!
    Pourqunt; Why the fuck!
    C’unt bien: Champion. Fucking champion.
    Charcunterie: Butty shoppe.

  6. I have been into the cunterms forever.
    When needing cuntlery, you go to the cuntlery drawer, same with packing up leftovers, straight into a cuntainer.
    So good to see it’s world wide official you beautiful cunts…

  7. To “Cuntface”:
    …………./´¯/)……….. (\¯`\
    …………/….//……….. …\\….\
    ………../….//………… ….\\….\
    …../´¯/…./´¯\………../¯ `\….\¯`\
    .././…/…./…./.|_……_| .\….\….\…\.\..
    (.(….(….(…./.)..)..(..(. \….)….)….).)
    .\…………….\/…/….\. ..\/……………./
    ..\…………….. /……..\………………/
    ….\…………..(………. ..)……………./
    ……\………….\……… ../…………./

  8. The definition of ‘Immicunt’ really needs to be revised as well. Having a laugh is all well and good but let’s cut out the comments from racist/bigoted cunts.

      • Ooh, such witicism and erudition. I’d love to engage you in a battle of wits but I never challenge an unarmed man.

      • Shakespeare would think you are a cunt too for for stealing his quote and not thanking him for it andy.

        The only person you are impressing with your celebrity quote mining and clumsy attempts at trying to appear intellectual is yourself which i’m sure will sadly only add to your over inflated ego and compensate for your glaring emotional insecurities.

        New entry suggestion for cunters dictionary…

        andycunt-a person not handy at anything much other than fail internet posts and lowbrow replies.

        Awaiting another andycunt clumsy reply incorporating a quote from Freud which i’ll never read.

      • @Andy Fuck off you stupid cunt go fuck your golliwog boyfriend you cuckold bastard .
        I wanna add cuckoldcunt to the dictionary meaning any cunt who cry’s like a baby because someone said a bad word and can’t please their wife because they got small dick syndrome so they hire a wog. The word racist is a catch all term which could mean anything but its mainly used to distract. Its also a anti-white word because anybody who is colored can say racist words and get away with it because they are oppressed apparently. Andy you’re a sodding poof!

      • Thank you for your kind words. In response I shall offer you a quote from Goethe, which I believe is particularly suited to you

        “There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.”

      • Lol oh god the irony you can’t refute or denounce anything I have said but you quote Wolfgang von Goethe. Who not only loved germany but hated immigrants who took advantage of it. Goethe would be disgusted by a bellend like you who flys to the defence of islamic rapists taking advantage of his country.
        How does a cuckold like yourself accept such liberal leftist views. Also if your daughter(if you had one lets hope you don’t) got raped by one of these savage’s would you call her a racist if she told you the rapist was black muslim or arab?. Or would you like mayor of cologne tell her to avoid getting raped should keep at “an arm’s length” from strangers? educate yourself douchebag

      • One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
        One man’s terrorist is another man’s patriot
        One man’s racist bigot is another man’s realist…

    • We do cut out the worst excesses.
      At the end of the day, if you don’t like what you read you are at liberty to:
      (1) say so
      (2) fuck off somewhere else

      But remember the right of reply

      • Things are too sanitised these days and political correctness is a disease that is as bad as racism.. There is nothing wrong with saying things how they actually are… Those savages in Cologne are dirty Syrian migrant cunts…Just like the IRA were murdering Irish bastards, the Nazis were German cunts, and, yes, even the English have their own scum like the NF and those Scouse cunts at Heysel… Those evil raping cunts in Germany are dirty sick bastards from Syria… What’s racist about that? That is what they are… People need to address and deal with these evil bastards… What we don’t need is a condescending, holier than thou, prototype Garth Crooks crossed with Rick from The Young Ones, who thinks he’s clever because he quotes Wolfgang von Goethe and William Shakespeare… And anyone who thinks this is about a wider issue would be daft… This is merely yet another ‘look at me, I’m clever’ pillock who is desperate to be noticed… Seen one, seen ’em all,,,

  9. The big gag being that this smartarse plank is defending these Syrian savages, when IS is one of the most racist organisations on earth…. They don’t just dislike other races, creeds, or relgiions… These cunts want to brutally murder anyone who doesn’t agree with their demented doctrine… And we won’t even start on the misogyny and sexism that is rife in Islam… Recent events in Cologne and how Muslims treat their own women being just two examples…. TitSlappper is right when he says that the term racism is now a stick to beat white people with… You want quotes, I’ve got em…

    “We would never get away with the things Public Enemy say and do. Why? Because we are white and English.” – Ian Brown (The Stone Roses), 1989.

    • Fair Dos to have a go at a smart arse cunt. But
      All Africans are cunts…?
      All immigrants are cunts…?
      All Syrians are cunts…?
      Fair Dos if it’s joking / tongue in cheek
      There are some nasty cunts out there from every walk of life but not a whole country or race.
      I’m a cunt. You’re a cunt. We’re all cunts. That’s why we’re here. I’m here for the funny cunt stuff, rather than the hating cunt stuff.
      There, I’ve stuck my cunty head above the parapet, watch it get cunted off…

  10. “Cuntinicity” – introduced by the legendary “Daisy” Sykes usually to describe senior figures associated with the Hong Kong Jockey Club. Examples of use: “High degree of cuntinicty”; “Cuntinicity abounds”.

    This is my own: “Flagricunt”: a cunt sprayed in industrial-grade aftershave. Many males from SE Europe (Greece, Cyprus, large swathes of Turkey) are “Flagricunts”.

  11. Cunt o’clock – Time for some lovely sex. 
    Cuntess – A high society Cunt of the female persuasion
    Cuntest – Any form of competition or contest between a pair or group of Cunts
    Cuntestant – A Cunt taking part in a competitive activity, whether it be sporting, a quiz, a show etc.
    Cuntext – The set of circumstances or facts that surround a particular use of Cunt
    Cuntichops – A bit of a cheeky chappie Cunt (e.g. Olly Murs)
    Cuntilocks – A bonny lass, albeit a bit of a fussy bitch, who doesn’t like it too soft or too hard, but wants it just right
    Cuntipede – A many legged Cunt or a derogatory term for an insect like Cunt
    Cuntmeister General – Head Honcho Cunt, Ultimate Cunt
    Cuntography – Written text discussing Cunts and their cuntitude
    Cuntologist – An expert in the Cunt field
    Cuntology – The study or knowledge of Cunts
    Cuntopedia – A compendium of Cunt knowledge
    Cuntophile – A very strong liking of, or friendship with Cunts 
    Cuntophobe – An irrational fear or hatred of Cunts
    Excommunicunted – To deprive a Cunt the right of fellowship or socialisation with other Cunts
    Expense Accunt – A Cunt Kitty i.e. funds put aside explicitly for the purpose of renting illicit clunge 
    Geoffrey Chaucer – Author of ‘The Cunterbury Tales’, a story about a bunch of travelling Pilgrim Cunts holding a story telling cuntest
    Night of the living Cunts – Cult horror flik where a bunch of Cunts come back from the dead 
    Scrcuntch – A wrinkly muff
    Scunthorpe – A place full of Cunts
    The Good the Cunt and the Ugly – A classic Cunt western / cowboy Cunt flik
    Top Cunt – A Cunt who happens to be a first class aviator e.g. Tom Cruise
    Triumphcunt – A victorious Cunt e.g. The winning cuntestant in a cuntest is a triumphcunt 
    William Shakespeare – Most prodigious author of Cunt literature in England – titles include: A Midsummer Nights Cunt, The Taming of the Cunt, The Cunt of Venice, The Merry Cunts of Windsor, King Cunt and many more

    • Great stuff, Obi Wan….

      Shere Cunt (or Khunt) – A badass tiger that eats people

      The Incredible Cunt – A cunt who turns green and roars a lot if provoked

      Crosby Stills Nash & Cunt – Aging hippy supergroup, augmented by whinging Canadian cunt

      The Cunt Awakens – An already milked to death sci-fi film franchise noe resurrected to make even more cash

      Kunt Cobain – Miserable cunt and arguably the most overrated rock musician in history

      Achcunt Baby – Allbum made by supreme cunt (Bono) and his band, U2

  12. Cuntify: 1) identify someone to be a cunt
    2) create new definitions for words containing the syllable “cunt”.

  13. Cuntryfile: A television programme about the cuntryside, featuring cunts from your local area, presented by well-known cunts such as Matt Baker, Helen Skelton and shouty cunt John Craven

  14. One Cunt & His Dog: another television programme set in the cuntryside showcasing the remarkable bond between cunt and canine…the pair are set the task of herding a flock of cuntankerous sheep around a cuntishly challenging course. The duo completing this in the shortest time are thus declared the Prize Cunts.

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