The Cunter’s Dictionary


Following an excellent suggestion by King Cnut, we are proud to announce the Cunter’s Dictionary – a glossary of fine terms that can be used to describe the prize cunts of the world together with their definitions.

Additions to this fine tome are invited and will be added as and when we can be arsed…

accunting summary justice handed out by a cunter – or – false book keeping
Archbishop of Cunterbury pointless cunt and head of the Church of England
americunt teflon coated war monger
Agincunt notable English away win fought on St Cuntins day
advocunt cunt who speaks up for another cunt
acuntcronym cunt word formed by combining the initial letters of a multipart name, such as the wages theft “Pay As You Earn” (PAYE)
adjecuntive qualifier of a cunt-noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and of several suffixes, such as cuntable, cuntous, cunter and cuntest
aristocunt a rich upper class twit
anaerobic cunt a cunt underneath the slime
acuntrobatics manoeuvres of a pissed cunt
acuntlyte fanatical follower of a major cunt (eg: Morrissey fans, Harry Potter cunts etc)
africunt probably your neighbour next week
agricunturist industrial scale weed farmer
AINACS slow driving cunt’s rear view
acuntability quality of being able to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
anglocunt an English person acting like a cunt when abroad on trips or holidays
book of cuntdolence place for luvvies to leave their thumb print for a dead celebricunt
barcunt thing that makes the till go ‘beep’
cunt satchel a cunt with multiple cuntitudes held within them – like in a satchel
celebricunt pointless, talentless pixel shifter
cuntputer device used to cunt cunts
circuntvent hole in a cunt’s face from whence issues cuntishness. (esp. politicians, rappers….etc)
cuntryfile a repository of cuntishness
cunt factor a measure from 1 to 10 for measuring cuntishness – or – a talentless TV show
cuntometer a device for measure a person’s cunt factor
cuntdown boring quiz show for smartarsed cunts
cuntsearchers cunts who find and expose the real cunts
correctorcunting the art of non-politically correct cunting
cuntservatives caviar eating, champagne guzzling, Etonian bottybashing cunts who govern Great Britain (also known as Tory Cunts)
cuntstable person who is never there when you need him
cuntstitution guide lines governing Cuntitudiness
cuntstubble’s Hay Wain newly coiffured Cunters greeting to a Man U player
cuntrycide retaliation of the be-cunted
cuntry Seat Chequers
Cuntstantinople the final frontier
cuntvict an Australian
cuntrary cunters normal stand point
cunterpoint music for cunts
(in the) cuntch cunt in a difficult or vulnerable position; “he cunted me and left me in the cuntch”
clunt someone who is both a clown and a cunt
cuntural enrichment PC phrase for embracing diversity
cybercunts mindless, immature individuals such as internet trolls
cuntivore a person who eats pussy
cuntocracy a cuntry or organisation ruled by a cunt or cunts (e.g. North Korean, Tipton)
chilcunt procrastinating self, or friends, arse coverer
compocunt a compensation seeking cunt
cuntsistant a consistant cunt
cuntney a cockney cunt
cuntocrat a born cunt
cuntroversy is someone a cunt or not?
cuntfrontation two cunts arguing
cunt++ cunty programming language
(the) cunt in the hat Jamiroquai
cuntweazle sneaky cunt
cnt amerikan spelling
cunter comes between trot and whoa slow down you cunt
cuntstabulary where they keep police horses
cuntney Londoner
cuntradiction no it cunting isn’t!
cuntonation street once a benchmark in telly… Now a benchmark for cunts
cuntvict an australian
cuntiac american pimpmobile
cuntaloupe fruity cunt
Cuntney Love smack riddled scrag-end of the rock ‘n’ roll groupie market
cuntgratulations bad loser’s compliments
cuntsultant 33rd degree satanic quack (in mufti)
cuntvert bring someone to the dark side
cuntmas season of false bonhomie and SCUD (see ‘S’)
cuntryside ranger cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging (good luck with that one)
cuntment allez-vous? franglais – wassup yer cunt?
c’unt bien franglais – champion; fucking champion
charcunterie franglais – butty shoppe
distinguished cunt a cunt who stands out even amongst other cunts
discunt opening gambit for a shopping cunt
discruntled somewhat miffed cunt
descunt melody or cunterpoint
descunts (french) as in ‘des cunts est sur les totties’
decunthalon ten sports in one for the also ran cunts
decuntpitude fucked, knackered old cunt
discuntability condition of being unable to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
dead cunt walking deadpool nominated celbricunt
dicuntionary tome that contains words you can not spell. Not much fekin use if you don’t know how to spell the word in the first place
dickuntson cunt with a weird suntan
differential cuntulus a way for degree toting cunts to show off
difficunt lazy cunt’s attitude to something requiring considerable effort
epicuntean self professed expert on foodycunts (see ‘foodycunt’)
ecocunt a green cunt
ecuntologist smoking, diesel driving, coal burning, sump oil down the drain kinda cunt
foodycunts pretentious self-important cooks and chefs such as the chef-cunt Jamie Oliver
four seasons cunt simply a cunt all year round
First Cunt Is The Deepest never getting over being dumped (or not getting a shag) off your first girlfriend
ecuntity path to benefit wealth
francocunt an English person that likes all things French
holographic cunt a cunt from all angles
hurricunt someone who is such a cunt (like a Hurricane) they sweep up all around them in a mass of devastating cuntitude (e.g Iain Duncan Smith)
horticunturist weed farmer
horse cunt as in “look at the cunt on that horse”. A deceptive phrase that refers to the rider on a horse and not the actual cunt of the filly horse. (see “Mounted Cunt”)
idicuntom expression peculiar to itself grammatically or that cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on cunts”
Intercunt Service Provider awful Internet Service Provider (ISP) such as Virgin Media and Talk Talk
immicunt a immigrant cunt – or – a cunt who works for the immigration service
immacuntlate a perfect cunt
immacuntlate birth honest Joseph I aint never not been wiv no one else. Innit!
jihadicunt islamic male with small penis and scruffy beard carrying a gun or bomb – or – islamic female wearing a burka-sack garment hiding explosives
jackcuntnory kids stories for kids who are little cunts
jack-in-the-cunt pops up from time to time as cunter clown or jester
je ne cuntprends pas franglais – speak English ya’ cunt!
Kayne Cunt self important, talentless, gets away with murder cunt (see also Cunt Kardashian = fat arsed slapper, wife of Kanye Cunt)
kleptocunt theiving cunt (e.g. a Liverpudlian)
kleptocunt & son dirty old cunts
klu kuny klan racist chickenshagging cross burning sheet wearing cunts
lubricunt KY jelly
lexicunt a dictionary of cunts
lock, stock and two smoking cunts lesbian post coital ciggy
mulletcunt a cunt with a dead cat masquerading as hair
mourinho cunt cunt who is in a very privileged position, has a lot going for them, wins a lot, but is still always a sour faced miserable cunt
medicunts quacks and foreigners in the NHS
morricunt a hypocritical veggie eating ego maniac
magnificunt a magnificent cunt
mancuntians northern cunts (e.g. Oasis)
mornincunt crescent cunty panel game
mounted cunt a cunt on horse, especially a Metropolitan police officer cunt on a horse.(see “horse cunt)
morning cunt lead in yer pencil and no one to write to
neocunticism revival of classical style (in art or literature or architecture or music) but from a new cuntish perspective
octocunt a group of eight cunts, especially mancuntians or kleptocunts
ocean going cunt cunt of titanic proportions
plebocunt a common cunt
pourcunt franglais – Why the fuck?
quadrillocunt The Cunt Identity, Ultimatum, Supremacy, Legacy – pretentious up their own arse piss poor films made by cunts, starring cunts and watched by cunts
plutocunt a rich cunt
QUNTY broken keyboard incorrectly reassembled
rusticunts a expression for cunt villagers
recalcicunt cunter who doesn’t give a cunt
replicunt a copy cat cunt
recunting a cunt telling a story
swiss army cunt a person with cuntishness for every occasion
seasonal cunt someone who becomes a cunt at certain times of the year e.g. Christmas
scuntnik any Russian cunt or one of the rulers in a Russian oligarchy
scuntish of or concerning the haggis chomping, papist sheep shaggers
sissycunt timid milksop cunt considered childish or unassertive. Often says: “He’s not really a cunt” or “she’s not really a cunt”
cunt’s watering hole
Strictly Cunts Dancing – or – Christmas eyebola: symptoms: bleeding of the eyeballs
tecuntnology gizmo’s one generation too advanced for a cunt
tourettes fucking cunt!
tailcunter cunt who watches another cunt’s back
tacuntograph ministry tool to circumvent the use of three log books and two sets of number plates. (HGV)(Happy days)
tour de cunts sweaty, be-lycra’d, chain grinder race. In fekin france
Très bien, mercunt Franglais – Thanks a lot, cunt!
universal cunt a cunt whose cuntitude can be recognised by people all over the world, even to cunts who don’t know what cunt means
upfront cunt cunt who makes no effort to hide their Cuntitude
Uber Cünt (or Unt Cünt) cunt from ze fatherland
vacunt a cunt who’s a bit slow on the uptake
vacuunt a hoover
weapons grade cunt a cunt who’s a threat to humanity (e.g. Tony Blair)
whizzcunt a self made cunt
wancuntle engine source of schoolboy humour
yoocuntility rip-off energy commodity or service company, such as E-on electricity, Thames Water or British Gas

104 thoughts on “The Cunter’s Dictionary

  1. The Two Cunts: yet another television programme featuring two amusing bespectacled cunts, achieving legendary status over years of broadcunting. Known for ending with the catchphrase “well it’s goodnight from me, and goodnight from this cunt…”

  2. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Cunt: gripping fictional account of life in the field of cunter-espionage. Now a major film starring Benedict Cunterbatch.

  3. Dai Henwood

    (noun) A New Zealand “comedian” with no discernible ability.

    (adj) used to describe anybody with no discernible ability. E.g. Oh fuck, he’s a Dai Henwood

    (verb) to annoy or bore to such an extent that you want to kick the cunts teeth in. E.g. He’s being a Dai Henwood and I’m going to kick the cunts teeth in.

  4. Cherieblaircunt – ugly woman
    Bossycunt – senior management
    Lyingcunt – politicians
    Cuntasourours – a dinosaur unpopular with other dinosaurs

    • There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MasterCunt.

      Cuntsberg – If Carlsberg made pussies.

  5. Physics: Loop Cuntum Gravity, Cosmic Microcunt Background, The Big Cunt Model, Cuntum Theory.

    Maths: Percuntages, SOH CUNT TOA, Cuntesian Coordinates, Cuntplex Numbers.

  6. Roberto Cuntos – Can fire a cunt through a wall and into the back of the net.

    Cuntinho – Livercunt’s mercurial number 10.

    Theo Walcunt – Can accelerate from 0 to cunt in 2 seconds.

    Eric Cuntona – Will flying kick the cunt.

  7. Please add ‘Arrocunt” i.e. an arrogant cunt, when/if you can be bothered, to the Cunters’ Dictionary.
    I love this website!

  8. Francis Bacunt – Father of the scientific method.

    Stephen Hawcunts – Expert on black hole physics.

    Schrodinger’s cunt – Can be both open and closed at the same time.

  9. Not a cunting as such but I was just wondering – fellow cunters – what terms/expressions might get into the Oxford English (or is it Urdu or Pidgin these days) Dictionary after 2018?

    I thought: “Is your bag ticking?” might have made it in this year – following all of the accidental, lone-wolf, “he’s English really”, non-peaceful massacres of 2017. Maybe 2018 is the year eh? But don’t forget there is no “M” problem in this cuntry.

    That aside, this year I think the term: “Sho’ Nuff!” is a shoe-in for stardom.

    Usage: A positive response to a question such as: “Will you take the ginge, half-blood Prince as your lawfully wedded husband?”

    “Cunt’s finger.” must surely also be under serious consideration?

    Definition: a medical condition afflicting you people between the age of 17 and 29 through overuse of banal social media websites on thick phones.

    Which is often associated with: “Wage cuckold.”

    Definition: an employer (usually in the public sector) who has to pay wages to cunts who claim they are (officially – what the fuck NHS you cunts) mentally ill due to social media addiction and therefore will be taking the rest of their lives off work (on full pay) to deal with their affliction by staying at home as posting their recovery progress on social media (providing the anti-inflammatories ease their “Cunt’s finger” problem).

    I’ve no doubt my learned fellow cunters have many more terms/expressions which should be submitted to the Oxford Insert any language other than English – which is clearly racist – here Dictionary.

    Dip your bread. 2018 has already been a cunt so I could do with a good larf (as Sir Limply would say)!

  10. Fuckery: The act, acts or actions of a cunt or group of cunts with the intent of achieving something that is beneficial to them and detrimental to you.

    Democunt: An Americunt political party made up of progressive libtard cunts whose stated intent is to repeal individual rights and liberties while promoting bullshit progressive values and group think.

    Republicunt: An Americunt political party made up of regressive conservatard cunts who stated intents are completely irrelevant because they don’t believe in them and whose bullshit values are only marginally better than the Democunts.

  11. Cuntopia – Anywhere Indians ain’t, the dirty cunts.
    Americunt – gun toting ex-euro trash.
    Mexicunt – greasy Aztec’ian jippo coke mule.
    afghanicunt – al qaeda.
    syricunt – isis.
    yiddicunt – oven dodging baby bakers, the jews.
    semi-immicunt – unborn immigrant.
    femicunt – emma watson.
    cuntelicious – very fucking tasty, better than cunt.
    cuntastrophy – “your going to be a daddy”.
    medicunt – doctor.
    supermegacunt – police officer .
    fat cunt – obese.
    cuntagious – a selfish rotten cunt spreading the flu.
    zombicunt – a cashier.
    xylocunt – a musical tin mashing fucktard.
    cuntastic – fabulous

  12. You forgot Cunta Kinte- an especially Cuntish Black Lies Matter member of African descent but can be applied to any gender of male female LGBTQ PP CC QC QUID …….

  13. Paul McCuntney – Ex-Mop Top over the hill thumbs aloft cunt

    Benedict Cuntberbatch – Worst Sherlock Holmes ever snowflake luvvie cunt

    Skanklett Johansscunt – Arch libfuck snowflake hypocrite and celebrislag

    Cuntcorde – Defunct supersonic aircraft

    Jeremy Cuntbyn – Terrorist loving Labour cunt

    Glastcuntbury – Yuppie twat hippie festival

    KT Cuntstall – Crap female ‘rock star’ (snigger!)

    Cunty Python – Still cashing in has been comedy troupe

    Cunty Don – Smug gardening cunt

    Pep Cuntiola – Brian Horton with more money and better drugs

    Cuntie Williams – Insufferable big headed fat fruit cunt and sacked Take That member

  14. I see you are missing a definition in the cunt dictionary, I am not sure if it would be a noun or a adjective but here goes:

    Deja-cunt: A feeling you have met this cunt before.


  15. House of Cunts. both Commons and Lords.

    From the US TV show featuring for the most part, self confessed drunk diddler Kevin Spacedout, ripped off from the UK show of years previous that told the story a lot fucking quicker.

  16. Cuntatude – a cunt with attitude
    Cunt or NO Cunt – what box to open
    Cuntabox – cunts on TV watched by
    cunts watched by cunts
    Crazycunt – cousin of the cunt green
    Mind the cunt – there is always one at
    the train station

  17. Cuntsy – to perform a curtsy while being a total cunt

    Succulecunt – a tender, juicy, and tasty cunt

    Scuttlecunt – rumor or gossip about a cunt

    Cuntman – an acrobatic cunt

  18. Arcunt – the owners of the New European
    Bercunt – an overbearing narcissist
    Cuntroller – 1. Electronic device which self destructs at some crucial point
    2. Cunt in charge of the BBC
    Decuntstruction – all-female literary programme
    Elecunt – 1. alleged attribute of ropey old luvvie cunt at BAFTAs
    2. Huge stroppy quadruped with tusks (example, Diane Abbot)
    Fecunt – That fat slag blocking the aisle with her 9 brats
    Guarcuntee – A topic of endless mirth for the cunt who sold you the item.


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