A thirty-seven years too late (but better late than never) you cunt cunting, for the French football legend, Michel Platini.
Like many, I have fallen out of love with modern football for many reasons, such as the knee taking shite, wimminz commentating and blessing us with their ‘expert’ opinions, and the game itself becoming a test of fitness and power over skill…but I digress.
For these reasons I’ve been collecting old football matches, sad cunt that I am (sort of stuff you won’t find on YT you have to pay cunts for it, unfortunately).
The BBC and ITV didn’t cover live games at Euro 84 (apart from the final and a game between Spain and West Germany) because no home nation qualified. Therefore, I’ve never seen the tournament and ordered most of the games.
Well, tonight’s offering was France vs Yugoslavia. The French won with a Platini hat trick. He celebrated like a madman for some of the goals.
So why is he a cunt for that?
Well, in the 53rd minute of the match, the Yugoslav team doctor went to run onto the pitch to help an injured player. The poor cunt (the doctor) then collapsed. He had a heart attack and was treated right on the touchline around the half way line. He was being given the kiss of life and receiving chest compressions. Clearly, it was serious. All the players couldn’t miss it. This went on for a few minutes (bloody cameras showed everything, the mad cunts) until you could clearly see that they’d had to give up. The cunt was dead.
The game went on. It clearly affected the Yugoslavs (who were playing well up until then) and they went from 1-0 up to 3-1 down quite quickly. It seemed to affect some French players too, to be fair. Platini it was, who banged in the hat trick.
He also booted the ball at a Yugoslav player near where the cunt died (for no reason) at the end of the game.
It just didn’t sit well with me.
I believe he also celebrated scoring in the 85 European Cup Final for Juventus…which was right after 39 died at Heysel.
He has said since that he didn’t know anyone had died at Heysel when he scored (hard to believe…I recall Liverpool players in tears when they took to the pitch after the pre game riot).
Well if true, there is no way this cunt didn’t see what went on in the 84 game I just watched.
Just didn’t sit right with me at all.
Great player, absolute cunt.
Sorry for the Guardian link, can’t find any other article covering it.
Nominated by: Cuntybollocks
(Please don’t derail this nom with references towards what happened at Heysel. Thanks – DA)
My brother in law played for lower division teams half a century ago. I am impressed that he is still friends with his ex team mates and opposition members. The number of funerals he attends these days is a tad depressing but the camaraderie amongst them is reminiscent of ex servicemen.
Any chance of the same relationship existing with current players in 30 years time?
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He’s French, that’s enough for me to make it a valid cunting!
10
Michele is a birds name.
Fuckin french are ducky as fuck.
Agincourt!!!🇬🇧🇬🇧
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Even worse then, I always thought he was Michael, tiptoeing pirouetting effeminate French floozy 🤢
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Platini in distinguished company with fellow associates banned by FIFA for breaching their ethical regulations.
Must admit that this came as something of a shock to me as I did not realise FIFA had any ethics.
Amos Adamu
Ganbold Bayannemekh
Franz Beckenbauer
Luis Bedoya
Sepp Blatter
Chuck Blazer
Edmond Bowen
Rafael Leonardo Callejas Romero
Adeel Carelse
Najeeb Chirakal[
Albert Colaco
Aaron Davidson
Rafael Esquivel
Vernon Manilal Fernando
Eugenio Figueredo
Steve Goddard
Mohammed bin Hammam
Lionel Haven
Alfredo Hawit
Sergio Jadue
Brayan Jiménez
Lindile Kika
Richard K. Lai
Nicolás Leoz
Eduardo Li
Julio Rocha López
Worawi Makudi
José Maria Marin
Harold Mayne-Nicholls
Jean Guy Blaise Mayolas
Saoud Al-Mohannadi
Chung Mong-joon
Jonathan Musavengana
Juan Ángel Napout
Kirsten Nematandani
Wolfgang Niersbach
Michel Platini
Enrique Sanz de Santamaria
Leslie Sedibe
Viphet Sihachakr
Costas Takkas
Bana Tchanilé
Reynald Temarii
Ganesh Thapa
Jérôme Valcke
Badji Mombo Wantete
Daryll Warner
Jack Warner
Jeffrey Webb
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Fuck me! That is a longer list than some telephone directories.
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…and I thought Jack Warner was Dixon of Dock Green, not a footballer.
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This old cunt was banned from FIFA in 2015 due to a missing 2m Swiss Francs and some alleged sharp practice.
He is a frog, so no surprise he was caught with his pants down.
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Good nom CB
The Euro 1984 tournament looked a cracking tournament from the amount of it I’ve managed to see.
Platini dominated it then but he’s is a bloated cunt now and he celebrated scoring that penalty and he already knew about the fans I reckon.
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Dominate the tournament he did. 9 goals in 5 games from midfield. He really was a fantastic player at that time, definitely better than Zidane or Henry as the greatest ever French player in my opinion, but what a monumental cunt.
4
I read a decent book last year called Danish Dynamite about the Denmark team from the same era who were particularly outstanding in 1984.
It had me searching the net for footage from the games described.
A shame for any genuine followers of the game back then that the tournament was shunned by UK telly.
4
Recently watched a film about the underrated Danish National team and their disliked manager at the 1992 European Championships.
Called The Summer of 92. On Netflix.
Worth a watch if you haven’t got anything else to do.
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Cheers Willie.
I’ll check that out.
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Every time I hear Platini’s name I feel a stirring in my pants.
Please let me explain.
In 1984 I was in France on a school exchange trip when they won the Euros.
The frogs went fucking nuts.
I got off with my hosts sister.
So every time I hear Platini’s name it just reminds me slipping the Cumberland to a hot froggie minx (from behind as her breath smelled of garlic).
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Well done Uncle Monke👍
Cumberland you say? I sincerely hope that you took precautions as french cheese doesn’t go too well with English sausage.😉
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Thanks General.
Just doing my bit for the Anglo French relations.
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Frog 🐸 = gutless & self serving.
That’s all there is to it.
Snide fuckers.
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Great player in a great era for football.
But certainly a French Cunt of De Gaulle proportions.
Captain of the FIFA Brown Envelope Under The Table 1st Eleven.
Sacre Bleu!
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I can’t in all fairness slag him for not being distracted by someone having a heart attack. I once got terrible stick for stepping over an old fella who’d had a heart attack so that I could get my pint off the bar…I then stood warming my arse and supping my pint in front of the fire while people tried to help him…I could see it was a waste of time before they even started…anyhow I didn’t much care for him at the best of times and suspect that he’d have been as appalled at the thought of me giving him the kiss-of-life as I would have been attempting it.
Platini is a Cunt though…he’s French.
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Most Frenchmen sexually abuse toy- Poodles…or each other.
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Lol
I was waiting for some more of your scientific input. You’re a veritable walking encyclopedia.
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Aye, bit your weren’t dancing around him blowing out birthday candles, which is more or less what Platini did lol. Forgot about his corruption too. Liked a bung or ten, did Michel.
Considering all this, you’d probably get on like a house on fire…if it wasn’t for the stench of garlic and potential hound molestation.
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Magnificent player. Saw him, Rossi and Boniek run the show against Man United in 84.
But, since then he has developed into a cunt of epic proportions.
7
63 years of the Munich disaster was great to commemorate at Old Trafford this evening but the fuckers still don’t get it by bending the knee afterwards.
How can we ever get back to normal when a historical event like this is not given exclusive coverage?
Fuck off the Premier League. Fuck off the FA.
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👏👏👏👏👏👏
Bravo Bertie, Bravo👍
Ps: has Percy sung you those Man Utd football ditties, that I taught him on Christmas Night?
His vocal talents were particularly suited to the one about Zlatan😀👍
4
General – it looks as though Cavani is finding himself equally as useful as Ibrahimovic was.
4
Its like when they had the minutes silence for Remembrance Sunday then took the knee for the Marxists who were defacing the Cenotaph and burning the Union flag months earlier. You well Bertie? The wheels have come off a bit at Pool on the rare times I glance at the sport news.
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Evening LL. I’m a recovering Covid jab victim – it appears to give you a mild dose of flu! 😀
Liverpool are indeed going through a bad patch.
I can’t see anyone but Citeh winning by a comfortable margin.
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It’s a fucking disgrace. Taking the knee today of all days is like them saying a two bob sack of shit criminal cunt like Chicken Floyd George is on a par with the great Duncan Edwards and all the others who perished as a result of the air crash.
The club should have grown a pair and told the FA and BLM to fuck off. Paying tribute to footballing heroes and a lost and legendary team? Certainly. Paying tribute to bojangles chiggun guzzling criminal scum? No fucking thanks.
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I purposely now only start watching any match one minute in to avoid the knee bollocks.
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Seconded.
I’m sure there’s plenty more that have the same idea.
1
All the victims in the Munich tragedy had the wrong colour skin Bertie.
If a member of the Windrush generation had been on there….
1
De Gea…..
You cunt.
3
19.5m£ a season-De Gea is a bargain.
Useless cunt👎
Should of cashed in on him years ago.
Along with half the fucking squad.
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