Scalping

Scalpers are low life, opportunistic, extortionist cunts aren’t they!

The more shopping goes online and the more twats there are in the world, means the little Chinese children can’t make electronics fast enough for us. This means our online retailers can’t supply the demand, which leads to good old scalping.

Scalping is when you know there’s going to be a short supply of a product, so instead of being considerate and buying just one item so others have a chance to get one, these cunts buy 20 and then list them on eBay for three times as much the RRP.

You can’t even compete with the fuckers because they use bots (software that auto buys items) so each retailers website either crashes or runs out of stock immediately.

Retailers don’t give a fuck either, as they’re selling all their stock, so have no incentive to do anything about it.

More evidence that a lot of cunts are out for themselves and don’t give two fucks about anyone else. So many selfish wankers these days.

Love thy neighbour, I think not, it’s more like fuck thy neighbour with a rusty dildo. Cunts.

Nominated by: elcuntio 

(Certain concert ticket providers – mentioning no names of course, but are “Masters at Tickets” – are total cunts for this game – DA)

30 thoughts on “Scalping

  1. Is this why we have these annoying Catchpa thingies on websites? The simple ‘I am not a Robot’ checkbox ones are fine but the ones with the American images do my head in.

  2. Are there [DA] in fact any tickets currently available for “scalping” to be a contemporary issue, or this (yet) another «was a cunt» cunting?

  3. Truly a real cunt’s trick, make no mistake.
    I’ve heard of X boxes and PlayStations going on Ebay for 3 times the RRP.
    Feel sorry for parents who have promised little Johnny one for Xmas.

    • Scalping is indeed a cunts trick,
      Sly, a bit dirty, snidey, but on principal dont pay 3xrrp.
      I know its hard when your kid wants something and you rip your tripe out grafting, doing overtime, extra shifts to get the money together, being a parent thats what you do.
      But these greedy cunts are parasites with business acumen, advantage takers.
      Not nice but there you go…

    • I feel no sympathy for parents who promise kids anything if they don’t already have the said items secretly stashed away. Especially so if it happens to be something ridiculously expensive, becomes practically obsolete when a newer version comes out within weeks and which is designed to turn their brat into a goggle eyed, bloated couch potato . Whatever happened to simple, affordable prezzies designed to get kids out playing in the fresh air like footballs, roller skates, skipping ropes etc?

      • Nice thought DD but if I got my daughter a skipping rope she’d probably try and strangle me with it!

      • I know what you mean mr Dribbler, but nobody’s perfect,
        And everyone tries to make their kids happy, human nature isnt it?

      • Never having had or wanted kids (hate the bleeders) MNC, I’m more than happy to see other people’s kids upset if they don’t get what they wanted. Kids in tears at the sight of naff presents is what I call a real Christmas.
        BTW happy Lancashire day. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lancashire_Day
        Hope you’ve had chance to get out on the moors bordering yorkshire (deliberate small “y”) to celebrate by both taking a leak on any white rose county markers you find?

      • Mrs N can’t have kids. Can’t say I’ve ever been too upset by it though. At least they won’t be burning a hole in my wallet. The Little cunts.

      • Norm-I am sure plenty of cunters read that and thought: “you can have mine!!”.😂

        Sorry Mrs Norm-life is a cunt☹️

  4. ebay is a cunts’ charter. I saw some tosser selling a fifty-pence piece for £150. Maybe he was an inexperienced scalper who thought there was a shortage because he had several. I meant to see if anyone paid the cunt’s asking price but got bored. Shill bidding is a tricky business designed to make people think something shit is actually desirable. The whole thing is best left alone.

  5. Twenty ive had some bargains off fleabay, youve as you say got to be careful,
    Use some common sense,
    But ive always come out in front really.
    Apart from bought a sheepskin flying jacket that was nothing like the Irvin RAF one in the picture, got refunded though.

    • I am useless when it comes to spotting bargains, MNC, but Mrs Twenty likes it. Parcels of tat turn up fairly regularly. Most of it is okay if you “buy it now” apparently, as opposed to bidding. Shit, I’m feeling bored already. I thought I had voices in my head, but it was only Kings of Leon blaring out from somewhere or other. Fuck sake.

  6. People who pay over the odds are real cunts, paying 3x retail for the latest game console is a good example.

    I still use my Xbox 360 and PS3, some great games on there that came from a time when not everything was politically correct….try killing bums and architects in Condemned for example…hilarious fun.

    I’m currently going through Wolfenstein 2009 and it’s great, killing Nazis and innocent villagers and destroying shops, buildings and livings faster than even Boris and Hancock can do it.

    • Right there with you, Spanky.

      I think Microsoft peaked with the Xbox 360. Simple, intuitive and relatively easy to navigate. I fucking hate my Xbox One. Over complicated piece of shit that needs an update if you so much as cough near it. All geared to online this, live that, download the other. Nope, I just want to play a fucking game. Microsoft’s obsession to turn a simple games console into an ‘entertainment hub’ completely fucked it up.

  7. Providing a product that people want is capitalism 101. Humans have been doing it for at least 10000 years in an actual market with veg,meat and fruit. Its normal. If you want to change this you will have to kill the Kulaks ,again. its sooooo boring.

  8. My tax Pounds given to fucking parents so that they can buy their mewling offspring a load of overpriced tat.

    Fuck child-benefits and Fuck Christmas while yer about it.

    • Your coming mine for Christmas dinner, not leaving you on your own with just meals on wheels for company.
      Your coming mine, wearing a paper hat, singing carols, etc
      Seat you next to lady Creampuff,
      Keep your hands to yourself!!

  9. When eBay was in its infancy I got loads of decent LPs and 12′ singles for next to fuck all (by today’s standards). But ever since ‘vinyl’ has become trendy with millennials, hipsters, students and cunts, they now go for ludicrous amounts. Mainly because they know that the chinless knobheads will pay ridiculous prices.

    I’m just glad I got in there before the cunts came. Mind you, I’m not averse to flogging them to said cunts. Sold several mono Stones Decca albums on eBay a bit ago. Made a good few quid.

  10. I remember scalpers like Viagocunt and Cunt Me In made a fortune in the run up to the Stone Roses gigs at Heaton Park in 2012. What these scalping parasites were asking was fucking eye watering. Fortunately a mate of mine who knows Reni got me a couple of tickets for both the Friday and Sunday shows. I was offered a VIP ticket, but I didn’t want to be around cunts like Liam Gallagher and loads of tossers from Corrie and twats like Rio Ferdinand. I also heard Lily Mong was there. So, a wise decision, I think.

  11. Talking of scalping: just been charged £90 to shave my wife’s pussy👎
    Fucking vets know how to pick your pocket-bastard male moggie from a neighbouring property, bullying our female.
    Net result, cat now has a back leg looking like a turkey drumstick, is wearing a ruff collar to stop her picking the wound, also “glaring” at me like Miserables dog looking at a dark-key😢

  12. Must admit I have lowered myself to deal with a scalper on one or two occasions when I was younger and more eager. Always felt dirty for doing so and is not something I’d do now.

    The ticket bot thing is real. Can’t remember the artist, but some concert tickets went on sale online at a certain time of day (this was years ago). I logged in at the opening bell and could not get a single ticket. How was that even possible?!!? Cunts. I still remember the good old days when you either called the box office or visited the box office to buy tickets. That system seemed to work, so why can’t it now?

    Master of Tickets are absolute cunts. I really hate them for their never ending list of extra fees. Facility charge, convenience fee, booking fee, handling fee. You name it. I wanted to see The Damned in Minneapolis a few years ago. Online ticket prices were mental. About twice actual face value from you know who. So I called the venue’s ticket office. They told me the band had an exclusive deal with Master of Tickets such that the venue could not sell any tickets for an event they were hosting!!!! I kid thee nay. I decided not to go.

    Another time, again I think it was Master of Tickets, I wanted a single ticket to a gig. Their system WOULD NOT let me buy a single ticket if it was next to other open seats. I could only buy seats which were already on their own. That’s blatant discrimination against single ticket buyers. I refused to be treated that way and didn’t go in the end.

    Final point before I bugger off. It is unfortunate the The Rona has and is costing music venues their livelihoods. I’ve even seen some ‘fund me’ campaigns to help save venues. I get that. But I also have to look at the live gig experience these days. I have all but stopped going to live concerts now. Some of that is down to age I suppose, but mostly these reasons:

    – parking: dodgy and expensive
    – drunks: having to deal with people who think a good night out has to include drinking their body weight in alcohol
    – crowds: the endless pushing and shoving is annoying as hell
    – the sing-along: I want to hear the band sing not you so fucking shut up
    – the chit-chat twats: let’s go to a rock concert and then have a full blown ongoing conversation with our mates by yelling at them thus ruining the live music experience for everyone else around you – what is wrong with these people?
    – drugs: lights go down and the arse holes light up their bloody drug cigarettes and everyone has to smell it – cunts
    – smart ‘phones: forget trying to actually see the band – instead you get to look at a sea of smart ‘phone being held aloft

    Going to a live concert is hell nowadays. Another previously enjoyable experienced ruined by inconsiderate bastard selfish cunts.

    • Hear you loud and clear. I used to play in bands and toured a bunch of times. All DIY punk toilet, squat gig type stuff at the beginning/folk/indie stuff towards the end. But, I’ve been a music gig goer most of my life. I’ve seen how its changed.

      Festivals are sanitised, corporatised, soulless shopping centres with bands with backing tracks and pre-recorded vocals. And that’s the metal festivals!!!

      All you see is a sea of left hands clasping phones in the air, eagerly posting about the amazing experience they’re not even paying attention to.

      Venues now are also littered with blue faces lit up with screen glare.

      I quit gigging in 2014. I just had enough of how lame live music had become. No atmosphere, no sense of living in the moment. Just a social event to post about on social media.

      It’s truly sad because I had life changing experiences watching bands in my youth where I felt something indescribable and life affirming.

      Today, just look at Reading Festival footage…its dire. Look at that festival 20 years ago and it’s good, old fashioned fun times. No fakery.

      • Interesting comments, Flappy.

        It is sad what’s happened to live music. I too have some great memories of live shows from years gone by. I saw the band Live at the Cynthia Woods Mitchel Pavilion in Houston in ’97. About as close to a religious experience I’ll probably ever get. I remember my first ever concert seeing Gary Numan at The Brighton Centre in 1980. It was so loud it made my stomach hurt! Jean-Michel Jarre at Wembley Stadium in ’93. Amazing! Pink Floyd at Earls Court in ’94. Surreal. REM also at Earls Court in ’99. Perfect. I have a long list of gigs I have great memories about.

        These days, there are VERY few bands I’d leave the house to see perform. Numan, Killing Joke, Suede, James. I think that’s about it. Probably Les Panties too if they ever play live again.

      • It used to the case you’d see all the lights from fans holding up their cigarette lighters in a show of solidarity and fellow feeling. Now its the light from their mobile phones taking a selfie.
        (As the performers perform)

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