Lily Allen gets Hitched! (12)

Cue the confetti please for a cunting for the recently married campaigner, protester and slapper, Lily Allen, who celebrated her nuptials by putting her horse teeth into a burger, having been married by an “Elvis” lookalike:

It’s not exactly Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier, but seems to be just downmarket enough to be at a level she can understand, poor tart.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

(Any “migrants” invited? – DA)

73 thoughts on “Lily Allen gets Hitched! (12)

      • I wonder how many Men have said “Thankya verrah much after climbing off that?
        No migrants as guests?
        And Swilly wearing white? Seriously? That skank has had more pricks sunk into her than a pub dartboard! 😄
        Seriously though, I wish her all the luck in the World – in moving to France and never fkin coming back!

    • I have more taste in my PENILE GLANDS. Man her husband must have thick skin (or must be just really thick) to marry Lily “cock smoker woker” Allen. I almost feel sorry for the poor dumb bastard…..almost.

  1. Who the fuck is stupid enough to marry that deep as a puddle, moaning bitch, look at me, look at me cunt?

    (Speaking of shallow attention-seeking long-past-their-sell-by-date old cunts, we have an entire brood for you to throw some shit at in the morning – DA)

  2. Maybe she thinks she’s the new Sparkletits, and has gotten hitched to another doornail with the intention of fucking off to LA and then trying to get a multimillion dollar Netflix deal!

    Give it 18 months and it will all end in tears. Add to that a few more million for her “kiss and tell” heart-breaking stories to the naive media.

    If they do move to a bigger pad I hope she invites a few of those Dinghy Riders to keep them company for a year or two!

    • Suppose thats that then.
      Off the market.
      Held out hope that despite the court order shed see sense and fall for my roguish charm!
      Had such plans,
      Live of her money, teach her the finer things, get her ‘onboard’ so to speak!
      Lilly as Elsa the SS she devil in a open top car as we heckle migrants at Dover throw balloons full of piss at them.
      Sharing a chippy, teach her to drink properly like a northerner, take her paki bashing etc.
      She had a gorgeous bank balance…😭

  3. Evening Cunters, I’ve seen her abaaaaaht a few times locally in Notting Hill…I remember once I was cruising down Ledbury Road in the Black Man Wagon (BMW) and she was properly checking me aaaaht, she was pushing a pram and was obviously so drawn in by my dashing looks and style she couldn’t help herself.
    I sometimes wonder if I’d stopped and got her digits I could have stopped her from becoming such a fruitcake cunt. She looked quite bangable to be honest and I am sure I read somewhere she likea it up the arse. It could have been me marrying dear Lily…and I could have saved the world from her cuntishness. I would like to apologise to you all for not doing my duty in not stopping her from becoming such a cunt.
    Actually what abaaaaht me you selfish cunts? You want me to ruin my life to help you lot aaaaht…I withdraw my apology…go fuck yourselves.😁

      • Evening TTCE, I think she is a good bet for the suicide pool (if we still have it)…she is definitely a fruitcake and I think she lost a child (which I wouldn’t wish on anybody) which most people would never recover from.

        • That’s most heartfelt of you, B&WC. My ex and I went through that years ago (a miscarriage); it was awful.
          But back to normality, if I may:
          Whose pussy is skankiest out of Lily’s or Mel B’s?

          • I cant think of Mel B without thinking of that twat off Channel 4’s ‘Bo Selecta’ first. “Yer bastards yer”.

          • I agree LL, that cunt from Bo Selecta has influenced me into thinking Mel B’s pussy is a bit frowsy and judging by the pic Dick posted above Lily looks like she keeps things nice and clean down there. Mind you I’d give either of them one…although I would insist on shooting my load over the lucky ladies face to let them know I am the man and boss in the relationship.

  4. The name’s vaguely familiar. Let me guess – famous for being famous? Quick lookup to improve my knowledge of this important person: she had to quarantine for a fortnight after getting back here.
    Bwahahaha etc.

  5. Gankles.
    Forget the trimmed clopper, Sir Fiddler, check out her Gankles😢
    I heard an interview-Lilly live on some radio concert, I can honestly say that I have never heard any other musician come close to her for an over inflated sense of their own worth.
    Total cunt, let BLM USA deal with her👎👎👎👎

  6. She is highly strung B&WC. Migrants in Calais, BLM protests, Brexit or not enough muggy cunts listening to her shitty tunes, any could be a fatal trigger.

    • If he hasnt gone halal on her you mean/chopped her up into a thousand peices and masquerading about dressed as her and shitting in the bath or sink(yeah those illegals aint all there am they

  7. It must be likely that he’s never heard of her adventures in he Calais Jungle, sucking off Syrians and having a gýppo bûkkake party, not that it would make any difference to the putrid odour emanating from her virtue-signalling front botty. She must have a fanny the size of a battered channel dinghy.

  8. At B&Wcunt- Notting hill? Flash bastard-had you down as Camden or Croydon.
    Notting Hill-get yourself a nice milf Jewish divorcee-load of them abaaaaht and they can be dirty bitches.

    • Yep Notting Hill all the way CG, I also have a flat in the West Country as well. It’s quite an effort living in two cities, but it has its advantages (having multiple women and they know naffink abaaaaaht it. 😁).
      I don’t want to go on abaaaaht my second flat as it would seem like I was showing off. Although I am one of the greatest Britons alive, I don’t like to talk abaaaaht how good looking and great I am as I am very humble. 😁

      • I haven’t had a Jewish lady before CG but they are definitely on the list. Really want a Japanese lady as well, a racist white South African woman, an Australian woman, French, Italian, Cuban, Colombian, and most definitely a Pakistani woman…I don’t care what people say, some of their women are beautiful.
        Damn there are so many women I want to fuck, I love the different shades and shapes they come in and also their differences.
        I wonder if the woman for me is aaaaht there, the one I would be truly happy with, who makes me even greater than I am and makes me stronger.
        She may be reading this.
        If you are dear I am a good man and all this talk is lies, don’t believe anything I write on here. 😂

        • I agree about Japanese women B&W, very polite, feminine and lets a man be a man, none of this cuckold poodle shite. Middle Eastern too, especially Iranian.

        • Good man-done your whole list except Cuban and Pakistanley.

          Colombians are stunning.
          Careful with Japanese B&W-if your as gifted as me, you may well break her😉.

  9. I understand this mug she’s snared is a Yank actor. Good. They can fuck off to Hollywoke and join all the other phoneys.
    Far too down market for the Markles though.

    (Indeed. Perhaps when she’s there she can spend some time on the Mexican border and start blubbing over the treatment of the “illegal beans” entering the USA – DA)

  10. This brain dead cockney spunk trumpet must have another book in the offing by now, tital should be ive been a cunt all my life and not been stabbed yet……que from this point onwards please and dont forget to do the eastend two step to avoid the dod shit and broken glass…….new hubby must be so pleased to know hes zbout to be number 16751 to throw one up this slag, she has literally had a mile of cock……wear ia jonny if i were you….

  11. I heard that after the nuptials, Lily and her new husband made friends with a skunk, which was scavenging outside their hotel balcony. Lily was so taken with the little, furry creature that she wanted to take it back to Britain.
    “There are laws against bringing exotic wildlife into the UK, darling” said David, the new husband.
    “I’ll smuggle it through Customs in my knickers” said Lily.
    “What about the smell?” said David.
    “If it dies, it dies” said Lily.

  12. I am surprised that El Mong’s new hubby isn’t a peaceful type from the Calais shithaep. Considering how she loves them so much.

    What? Publicity stunt? Media prostitution? Virtue signalling? Surely not?

  13. A quote from ‘Frazier‘
    (Actually it was Niles Crane)
    “A Vegas wedding? Embracing the sanctity of marriage, whilst simultaneously mocking it”….,

  14. What we now see is cunts like lily, pricie, katona etc meeting their matrimonial equals in a collective attempt to drum up publishity.

    What we should do is convert column inches into a specially made dildo and then have a publicity ‘cunt’ stunt. The greater the publicity the greater the mechanically operated dildo. We all know who turns up every week with a gaping casum black hole she is queenie I mean this slut is doing her nails with the machine smoking while katona watches in awe. Don’t worry lily your next and your hubby needs to get greased up as a first timer I’d recommend the pillow too.

    Clickbait Porn the ultimate I’m a celebrity get me out of ere challenge……then and only then will they be doing any kind of public service. Pricie gets a ‘dong’ for services for getting serviced. Lily is a screamo so she gets double entry.

    The Jam do the theme ‘That’s Entertainment’ the double irony lost on many

  15. I hate this cunt so very, very much. It displeases me that she is getting publicity but the knowledge that her marriage will fail, just like all her previous relationships p-leases me.
    I fucking, fucking, hate her.

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