Use The App…

“Use the App!”

I am seeing this far more often these days. The banks, supermarkets, DIY stores, airports, trains blah blah blah.

Now being a techiehead, I really don’t mind these apps, not that I download them all because despite the assurances from the owners of these things, they’re far from secure, and can easily be hacked if you know how.

But what really pisses me off is how the owners assume everyone has access to the internet/4G and a tablet/phone!

If you’re young then this probably won’t be a huge issue; but if you’re in your 50s+ or not of sound mind, you may feel rather unnerved/confused by all this new technology; not least having to remember two-tier authentication with password, passphrases and/or pin numbers.

Not far from me Copeland council are introducing an online booking system using an app for their household waste and recycling centres. So rather than just turning up with your car full of junk, you now have to book a slot before you’re allowed on the site.

Similarly, an off-road secure carpark area near me, is only accessible via the online app where you have to pay online and display a barcode on your phone, which will allow you on. There is no ticket machine nearby as you might expect. So again, it will cause more confusion and annoyance. On top of all that, by using the app from your phone, you’re leaving digital breadcrumbs of what you’ve been doing, how much you’ve been paying, where you’ve been and when! Such information will be farmed out to 3rd parties, and you’ll be spammed senselessly with appropriate shite!

Oh, and if you’re phone is stolen, and isn’t properly secured, then some cunt could play merry hell with your apps – especially banking ones!

If you know what you’re doing apps can be very convenient. But essentially you’re putting all your “electronic” eggs in one basket. And if that basket is stolen, hacked or fails, then you’re buggered!

Nominated by: Technocunt

27 thoughts on “Use The App…

  1. The government is getting increasingly worried about one app that encourages domestic violence . . . . . . .

  2. Literally just before I read this post I wanted to check a credit card payment had gone through so I went to login on my tablet. Every time, I get a popup from MBNA telling me how much easier it is to use the app. If I wanted to use the app I’d be using the app but I’m not, not least because it’s shit. I won’t even consider apps with a review score of less than 4.5, this isn’t even close at 2.8. but there seems to be no way to stop them.

    • Im both 50 and of unsound mind and im not using the fuckin App!
      Not that im totally sure what it is, but im against it anyway.

  3. When JVC’s VHS was pitted against Sony’s Betamax and Philips’ V2000, I was well up with the technology of the day. Now when I see ‘Download The App’, a feeling of dread descends upon me. I don’t want to download anything in case it fucks up something I’ve already got. Years ago I started using Kaspersky antivirus and certain things stopped working properly until I got rid of it. There’s a couple of websites I use but I have to access them using Chrome because they’re incompatible with Microsoft Edge. Things should be kept simple for us old cunts.

  4. I know what you mean techno. Its now like that at work, its all on line. They assume everyone is computer wizards. There is no consideration for the people who feel alienated by this technology. I hate the way its all imposed on us, people should be given a choice. Would you like to continue doing things the original way, or would you like to use the app. Its getting to the stage, we wont be able to have piss, unless we go on line.

  5. Stick the app up your arse. I carry a basic phone for emergencies. Any app would have to be made of bakelite.

  6. I used to park at Milton Keynes Station, the one round the back which was both online and pay as you park, the online system was fine, book the day you want and no ticket required as number plate recognition took care of it. There was an ‘App for that’ but never downloaded it.
    I don’t see why you would need an app, just log on to whichever website you need, ok so the app you are already in without password but it’s not a big deal and more secure.

  7. Not sure if anyone has posted this yet in our hallowed comments section but the Floyd bodycam footage was leaked.

    Those cops won’t get convicted and a certain portion of the US public will probably burn their cities to the ground.

    Time to stock up on goods. Winter is coming..

  8. “Use the App Sir”.
    “How about you do your job like the customers pay for”?
    “But it’s so much easier”.
    “Maybe for you, vacuus airhead – but as soon as everyone “uses the App” this branch will be closed and sold and you will be dumped in an industrial estate in the middle of nowhere with a headset – will you be using the App then”?

  9. As far as I’m concerned tinternet is only good for wanking material, ordering shit and banking….oh, and this site I suppose. The rest can be fucking burnt it’s evil incarnate🔥.

  10. I like Russetts.

    Other apps can fuck off. Unless there’s one called “Cunt-Exterminate !”, that might prompt spontaneous human combustion at the touch of a button…

  11. Never had a mobile phone until I got given one for work this year – and that’s all I use it for, work.

    I knew 20 years ago that these things were evil, and I’ve been proved right.

    Not to gloat or anything, but so there.

  12. I was in the pub the other night and the girl next to me at the bar was frantically asking them for a phone charger. The silly bitch had come out without her purse and had been paying for everything with her phone…until the battery ran out. Ha fucking ha. Daft tart.

  13. Went for a coffee the other day – sign said download menu. Got my mobile phone out and it didn’t work – because I ONLY HAVE A MOBILE PHONE and NOT a fucking mobile computer! So we had to wait for a waitress to show up, THEN had to wait for her to appear with cunting menus, then had to wait for her to come back and take the fucking order!

    • Similar experience in a pub in London. I wanted a pint, as you do in a pub.

      “Oh, all you need to do is download the app.”

      “Forget it”

  14. Load of bollocks this is. Fucking technology. Great when it works but…. I go to a remote parking spot here in the southwest to play with my rod and tackle, the ticket machine will take cash or card but hardly seems to work for whatever reasons. The handily places sign says Download the App and register your vehicle for payment.
    Yep, middle of bloody nowhere and of course the signal is non fucking existent.

    There’s some cunts about.

    • Ha ha you’re not wrong there! Maybe they’ll make an app that can check the road is clear for you before you cross it. I swear I’ll run over the next cunt who wanders out in front of my car staring at their fucking phone. And the irony is that they call them “smart” phones.

      • Smashing into them at speed on a bicycle seems to do the trick Cupid – I’m like a Vogon – I brake for nobody! 👍😄

  15. I’m pissed off with the assumption that everyone has a smartphone. I’m not a technophobe. I spent 20 years as an IT consultant.
    I have a camera that takes pictures and an iPod Classic that plays music. I have a basic Nokia dumb phone which mainly sits in the drawer in the kitchen
    I’m getting very pissed off with companies that insist on sending me a one off code to access their site. My home phone doesn’t do texts. One that did was £40 more and I didn’t need that function.
    Yesterday paypal joined the annoying brigade by insisting that they text me a code in order to access my own fucking money. So now I have to keep running downstairs to fetch the fucking phone.

    So why don’t I have a smartphone? Three reasons :

    1. I have no use for a mobile phone
    2. If the phone breaks, I’ve lost my camera, phone and music player
    3. They’re bloody expensive

    And anyway, most apps are crap. Why not just use the website? What’s the fucking point????

  16. The reason they want you to use the app is most people will without thinking allow said app access to your phone book, messages, storage and any other personal information you wouldn’t normally share. The companies who own the app can garner far more of your information this way than if you use a web browser. It’s just another way of stealing your information without you realising. So yes, fuck the apps off, using a web browser is much safer and secure.

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