Irresponsible Exotic Pet Owners

A gargantuan 30-feet constrictive cunting please for exotic pet owners. I’ll endeavour to keep this short and sweet . . .

Who the fuck do these people think they are, keeping all manner of ugly, dangerous fucking animals in captivity in their own shitehole abodes?!!! I’ve seen some programmes on the idiot’s lantern featuring said pet owners, and they all had one thing in common: cuntitude.

In addition, their dwellings in which said animals were ensconced were fucking dirty hovels (no doubt they’d be dirty hovels without the pets) and came across as entities with barely double digit IQs.

I suppose these bottom feeders think they are being cool, or hope by keeping these awful, ugly things in their houses that it gives them a higher social status or something? Who the fuck knows! However, all it does is reinforce people’s opinions that they are even bigger cunts than they thought possible.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, how empty and desperate do you have to be to feel compelled to actually go out and buy one of these pets?! There are even certain individuals (here in the U.K.) who obtain special licences for animals such as boa constrictors, jaguars and alligators, for example — which I’m led to believe is very expensive and very time-consuming . . . and, unbeknownst to them, very fucking stupid and very fucking sad!

Who the fuck needs special pets, especially dangerous ones!!? Stupid, sad attention-seeking cunts. Fuck off!

72 thoughts on “Irresponsible Exotic Pet Owners

  1. Talking of exotic pets, just took this off the BBC website concerning illegal invaders.

    A note on terminology: The BBC uses the term migrant to refer to all people on the move who have yet to complete the legal process of claiming asylum. This group includes people fleeing war-torn countries, who are likely to be granted refugee status, as well as people who are seeking jobs and better lives, who governments are likely to rule are economic migrants.

  2. Some fools think because they are human they can control animals, look at Timothy Treadwell, it’s not pleasant.

    • Yeah, exactly, WMFFS! I’ve seen that film about him. Quite intriguing, though there was something a little ‘off’ about our little Timmy, I felt; seemed a tad Walter Mitty and a not too clever. Predictably, a tragic fate befell him.

      • I didn’t realise she had also died. I thought she had left him on his own, after being out in the wilderness with him for only a spell. Regardless, yes, a fuckin’ downright horrible way to go.

      • You can YouTube Timmy-boy’s alleged death screams. It’s some of his best work!

      • Thankfully, the audio of his girlfriend’s demise isn’t on there. She didn’t deserve such an awful end. He, on the other hand, exploiting endangered animals for his own narcissism, got exactly what was coming to him.

      • Is that stuff actually released, CL?!?! I’d have thought that that was highly confidential! Can’t imagine any of that being released into the public domain. Some things, I’d imagine, just don’t have a price . . . that being a prime example.

  3. Even a moderately-sized constrictor is too powerful for most humans to hold, as my dad found out when he visited his mate’s flat back in theeighties. My dad spent about 8 years working on the roads and was incrredibly strong, but said he couldnt do anything to stop a 14 foot Boa coiling around his forearm. He was told it would relax its grip but he would need to remain calm and allow the creature to lose interest.
    Considering certain Pythons and Anacondas can reach 25 feet it’s not hard to imagine pets and children ending up as meals.

  4. Didn’t Michael Jackson get rid of Bubbles the chimp in the end because it tried to rip his face off?

    Maybe he tried to bum it though, so it’s understandable.

    Mike Tyson has a ‘pet’ tiger for a bit until he realised it was fucking dangerous.

    • Only let a chimp come near if holding a Kalashikov. Them cunts are fucking dangerous.

      • If it’s that fuckin’ dangerous, I wouldn’t let it handle guns!

      • Bastard!!! Nearly spat out my coffee reading that one liner, Sir Bert. Fuck that was funny.

      • Morning IY. Are you having to change your routine with the current virus spike in Texas?

      • Morning Sir Bert.

        Nope, no change in routine. I is alright cos the virus is racist, innit. It only goes after the sun tans.

        On a more serious note, we will be moving soon so I’m slightly concerned about undertaking that little adventure while the plague is having its second wind. Mandatory masks out in public now in Texas. Lovely.

        How’s things your end?

      • In my area cases are declining but I think it’s more to do with the fact that there are not many peaceful brethren in the area.
        The places showing the most concern seem to correlate with high numbers of sweat shops – funny that! Who’d have thought it?

    • I think it did rip his face off. It would explain how he was black one minute then white the next.

  5. Following the death of Steve Irwin, I saw a T-shirt with a silhouette of a sting ray and the slogan, “Crocodile Hunter Hunter”. Sad that he died, but I did think that was funny.

  6. Ever hear the story of the kid who brought home some tiny invertebrate back from the Fair.

    It wasn’t long before it grew into a Flabbopotamus and became an MP.

    He only wanted a goldfish

    • Philip May keeps a particularly hideous reptile. I also wonder if he bums it, as any approach from the front would surely turn you to stone ?

  7. Apologies to Bertie.
    I recently saw a sulphur crested cockatoo(not native to West Oz)with a flock of correlas, happily tearing up the lawn. It was obviously an escaped pet that now had a better life, though it shall have a shorter lifespan. It’s a cunt of a thing to keep a wild animal unless it wouldn’t survive otherwise for your own amusement.

    • It’s definitely not Percy, Shack. He hasn’t got the stamina to make it to your part of the world! Btw – what are correlas?

      • Silly cackling white parrots with puffy blue skin around their eyes. I’m not frightened of rain but when a flock of these have just ravaged a fig tree fly over I run for cover.

    • Peter Mandelson owns one of these, doesn’t he?
      I’be heard he’s very experienced with a cockortwo?

      • Bertie is like a pun ninja or Mr Miyagi to a dedicated few who follow his teachings on IsAC.

  8. Well well, what a great cunting.

    Apart from the vast majority of exotic pet owners are knowledgeable prior and ill treatment of the animals in question is frowned upon in the exotic community.

    Yes there are cunts who don’t look after their reptiles correctly but there are people who don’t look after dogs, cats or even kid’s properly.

    Sorry to say the cunting though valid for some doesn’t apply to most keepers. It can cost hundreds to provide proper care for these animals, then hundreds or even four figures for certain exotic animals, you don’t throw money like that around and then mistreat the animal.

    I know we don’t cunt each other on here but this cunting is a cunt.

    • Not even for the attention-seeking aspect of it, SDV? If you throw exorbitant amounts of hard-earned cash at an exotic pet, then, I’m sorry, you’re just a sad cunt. Even the intelligent, level-headed, hard-working and responsible ones.

      • And not to mention it’s depriving an animal of its freedom and normal habitat, which is enough of a reason on its own to lambast these eccentric, sad cunts.

      • How’s it attention seeking? There kept in peoples houses, yet to see a neon sign outside someone’s house saying reptiles kept here.

        Your entitled to your opinion. Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one. It’s a subject I know a lot about and I know a lot of people who keep exotics, sad cunts they ain’t.

      • I suppose you have a point, to an extent. However, these animals don’t belong in captivity in a person’s house or giant garden. They belong in the wild, completely free and unhindered (otherwise, it’s cruelty, against God’s plan). I don’t care if you’re a zillionaire with the best in everything that life has to offer . . . keeping the aforementioned exotic pets is fucking disturbing and pathetic. Some animals actually live longer in captivity than in the wild — but most households aren’t a zoo that can afford around-the-clock-care or attention, so you can’t use that argument. So, unless you are a qualified zoologist with the appropriate qualifications and veterinary surgeons in your team, your argument is invalid.

      • Are you a vet or a zoologist? If not my opinion is as valid as yours. And then you’d need to
        Be a reptile specialist in either.

        I do have 30 years experience with reptiles though, I’m well read on the subject but what do I know eh?

        As I said opinions are like arseholes.

  9. I was related by marriage to the largest breeder of spiders and scorpions in Daneland.

    Half the house was taken up with vivariums containing some of the most dangerous and frightening stuff you have ever clapped eyes on.

    He was raking it in by flogging orange knee tarantula spiderlings at £50 a go and business was brisk.

    What terrified the shit out of me most was the Goliath spiders. Those things are the size of a dinner plate and hiss when they get pissed off.

    His actual business was pyrotechnician. The other half of the house was full of gunpowder and detonators.

    They were both heavy smokers.

    What could possibly go wrong. 😂

  10. After reading that spreading lion shit around your garden will keep stray cats away, I decided to try the same thing with Guinness shit and gobshite veggies….I am now in a position to report that a spraying of watery shite over their pushbikes doesn’t really does deter them but it does make me laugh.

    Fuck Off.

      • I do, Mr. C-E…it’s not that old….might try something different next time,this one doesn’t look like it’ll last as well as the old one.

        You hear any more about your crash ?

      • Not a sausage, thank dog.
        Good news though…just sold the house (finally)! So after a few weeks of solicitor shenanigans, I’ll finally be free of the evil Mrs Cunt Engine. It will be bliss.

      • You’ve been lucky to get it sold the way things are at the moment.

        A friend of mine has a hotel that he was on the point of selling just as this virus shite started…the sale was postponed and now the buyers have dropped out…can’t say that I blame them really.

      • Bit of luck, yes. But I did knock 20 grand off the price. And my neighbours are going to hate me* too…I sold it to a swarthy type. Not a camel botherer or a Jig, though. He sounds Maltese or something.

        * They already hate me for driving a barely silenced big block 1964 Galaxie up the road at 5:50am on the odd occasion I take it to work. And sometimes an entirely unsilenced two stroke 750 from 1976 which, I’d have to agree with my neighbours, is so loud that even I think it’s taking the piss. It sounds exactly like this:
        but louder because there’s no baffle packing.

    • Five-feet crocodile being kept in a bath in a High Rise flat in Leith, Edinburgh?!!! Now, that really is something! 😀😀

    • Im a animal lover but dont want a alligator or boa in the house, think they are at theyre best in the wild.
      Those who have big cats, chimps, bears as a pet always come unstuck, these are wild animals not toys or accessories.
      People are fuckin idiots
      Animals are animals.

  11. I can only understand animal ownership in terms of their return.
    My chickens give me eggs and eventually dinner.
    The cat kills the rats.
    The rabbit is a surprisingly successful lawn mower.

    Whilst a 20ft boa constrictor might provide an excellent solution to burglary, in the best case we are talking about 1 event in the animal’s lifetime. This is a statistically poor return on investment.

    I can’t help thinking that pet ownership is more about the human than the animal. In other words an inter species slave trade.

    • Had a customer (woman) had a pet lizard, fair size one.
      Fuckin loved this lizard,
      Moved her and it a few times, it had to be the most boring pet ever!
      Like a fuckin stick wrapped in leather, never moved, just blinked every hour.
      She had a memorial tattoo when it died bet she didnt notice for a few week?
      No wonder dinosaurs died out bored each other to death.

  12. Just as bad as these cunts, imo, are the folk who mollycoddle their dogs and give them ridiculous names and dress them up in diamond-encrusted dog jackets, etc (saw this on a programme about rich people in the state of California, all walking en masse in downtown L.A. — just a bunch of overly pretentious plastic individuals detached from reality . . . pathetic and nauseating!).

    • I do not dress my dogs up but they have got what some would claim to be silly names. The Staffi cross is Arnstable Belvedere Gresly 3rd and the French Bulldog bitch is Northern Skye Skye for short. Bloody good ratters the pair of them.

  13. By and large wild animals should remain in the wild.
    And P*kis should remain in Pakistan.
    Same thing really.

    • Agree, wild animals in the wild, not in a chinkys wok or a council flat with some fuckin mitmot.
      Rather have a 15ft snake next door than a paki though.

      • Good evening Mr Miserable, I trust you are having a restful, BLM and cunt free holiday?

        Suitably refreshed, perhaps you could put one of your larger vans to use, liberating dangerous exotic pets from inept owners and then releasing them in local mosque’s-two birds, one stone and all that….

      • Evening CG,
        What a spiffing idea!!
        A sideline business!
        Anaconda in the attic?
        Gorilla in the garage?
        All suitable rehomed in a place of worship.😁

    • Bravo Mr Fox👏👏👏

      A little insulting to wild animals-never met a fox that groomed labrador puppies or a squirrel that blows up concert goers as a change from playing with his nuts😉

  14. speaking of exotic animals. Another 4 stab incidents. And an arrest in Tower Hamlets. No surprise there then

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