Movies

MOVIES

No they are fucking “films”. Now if you are a Yank, even living in this country I get it. It’s your culture and your dialect, none of my fucking business. What pisses me off is British people coming out with this fucking shit because they have watched untold hours of American fucking culture on the telly. This is why we have all this “school prom” bollocks these days.
Which , of course, enables a load of cunts to make a load of dosh out of dumb parents who just can’t say no to their brainwashed offspring. Fuck “movies”. Any cunt who says “movies” to me can fuck off out of my face. I just wonder how long it is before we start talking about “movie theatres” in this country. Just fuck off cunts.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

63 thoughts on “Movies

  1. These septic words are creeping into use, it’s inevitable I suppose, too many young twats using them. One that absolutely gets my goat is ”season” instead of series. It’s a worthy cunting.

      • The makers of UK boxed sets still call them ‘series’ in this country.

    • I only use season when talking about Ametican stuff else it confuses them.

      Another thing about Americans: none of them cook meals at home.
      They get ‘take-out’or eat in diners.

      • Originally from Lancashire.
        Somehow I ended up living in Canada.
        You guys in UK are a decent distance from America.
        The level of cuntitude is much more noticeable from close up.
        Got rid of my television in 1999, but still have to put up with unfunny brain-dead so-called comedy when out and about (not that I am at the moment.)
        I’m tired of having to explain things to dumb fucks.
        I can’t think of any American I’ve ever met that can point to more than 3 or 4 countries on a map.
        Not all Yanks are cunts, however, just far too many of ’em.

  2. I agree, going to the cinema to watch a film, not a movie at a movie theatre! Why the fuck can’t we keep anything sacred anymore.

    At the moment, not going the cinema, not that go very often anyway so I don’t give a fuck, perfectly happy with 49” at home!

    • Same here. INot that there’s ever anything on at the cinema worth watching. I can drink adult drinks, pause it to use ‘the John’ and dont have Kayleigh and Twatcunt two rows down twatting with their phones.

      Fuck the cinema. It’s now become a theme park.for the less well-off.

  3. Originally called ‘moving pictures’ in 1896. Shortened to ‘movies’ in 1908.

    Used to love going to Saturday morning pictures.

    Happier, simpler times.

    • Did you go to the opening night? That makes you 112.
      Always thought you were a wise head on old shoulders!
      Good afternoon Ruff one.
      Lady Creampuff should trade you in for a young stag like B&W!
      😀

      • Keep it under your hat Bertie, but Lady Creampuff would probably give her G-Spot Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator to have B&WC’s Tongue up her arsehole. 😋

        Good afternoon.

  4. Personally I can’t wait to stroll along the sidewalk to the movie theatre again where I will enquire at the kiosk if I can “get” a popcorn and Pepsi.

    Bloody Americaisms are everywhere these days. This is also where the “like” expression which litters the illiterate utterences of youngsters comes from. I once counted 22 “likes” in a Britney Spears sentence.
    Stupid moo.

    Years ago late night TV adopted the term “midnight movie” to make their rather tame offerings sound more exciting. Now the Internet is awash with US slang and it is crushing UK culture.

    • ‘Like’ used as a filler word gets right on my tits.

      Usually over used by thick as pigshit teenage girls while talking about some mindnumbingly boring shit they did with Hugo and Cressida last holibobs.

      I have found that you can confuse the shit out of them, or just make them fuck off by repeating the word ‘like’ out loud every time they use it.

      Try it. Works a treat and you can enjoy your coffee in peace.

      • Me and a mate did just that in a pub several years ago. Two twats from a local college peppering their sentences with ‘like’.

        We imitated them after every instance of ‘like’. They soon moved tables.

  5. I’m going to the pictures to see a film not cinema to see a movie.
    School prom, halloween etc is all wannabe Yank bollox.
    Still, can’t wait till the Fall to see the new James Bond.

    • Giving the next Bond a miss, me…
      For a start they’ve got a ‘feisty’ ‘woman of colour’ as 007.
      Also, it’s written by the loathsome misandrist gobshite, Phoebe Waller Cunt.
      Finally, it stars that whinging smacked arse soyboy gnome, Daniel Craig.

      • ‘Also, it’s written by the loathsome misandrist gobshite, Phoebe Waller Cunt.’

        Well that stone-cold fucking kills any prospect of me ever seeing it.

    • I still prefer “movies’ to the Irish term of “filums “
      WTF is all that about?
      Is there annie filum that you’d like to watch tonight?
      It’s a toss off between the Irish and the Yanks at who’s best at murdering the English language.

      • Not Irish, French. Le filme, n’est-ce pas?
        What the fuck have the Irish ever invented apart from carping about the British, colcannon, awful theatre drama, and car bombs.

      • Too right, Berticus – How the Irish make time to pronounce the “L” in film but can’t be arsed with the “RRO” in the middle of the word “mirror” is beyond me….

        Oh and that Irish cunts yammering on with “whenever” each time they need to say “when”…

    • In what respect?

      He posted last night on the ‘Criticism of Greta’ nom.

      • What’s this current obsession with cunts asking, “Where’s so-and-so” every day?

        Vermin cunt spotter
        Birdman
        Skidmark Eggfart
        Saxon Flaxxen
        Fred West
        Boake
        Jane-arse

        All dead of the Chînky Hong Kong Flooey.

  6. Yeah maaan, wanna see a movie 2nite so, like, gonna head down the theaterr jus passed the intersection, an catch one there, d’y’understand what am sayin? Riiight?
    Am gonna wash ma hands under the faucet an chew on my eggplant and zucchini sammich an ah could care less what no aloominum limey thinks, riiight? We saved yo ass AND improved yo language. It’s pronounced Jag-warr, mo’fuckers. Gi.me some PRY-vacy, riiight?
    Who needs “How are you?” when y’all can say, ” ‘sup?”
    Who needs, “Have you eaten?” when y’all can say, “J’eet?”
    Yo ‘Murrrica.
    Right? Riiight? Riiiiiight?

  7. To be fair, not something I do very often, I am a bit of a hypocrite as I use a lot of Yank sweary expressions. Now where did I get those from? Oh yeah , the fucking mo…..er……films.
    But the M word really winds me up because it has become so pervasive. I used to take the piss out of cunts who use that word but I don’t bother now. You can try and hold the tide back for so long but when the waves are lapping around your knees and your shoes are full of seaweed you know you are fucked. Other wind up expressions…….seasons, my bad, uni (Aussie shit that one) and “that sucks”. I heard a middle aged, middle class woman use “that sucks” recently. I wonder if she knows that’s an abbreviation of “that sucks dick.” I doubt it. The war is over and I lost.

  8. In a similar vein ‘seasons’. It is a series, they call it a season in the states because they used to split the series across two seasons. Fuck off! We are all fucked anyway, my nieces call nappies ‘diapers’ due to their YouTube consumption. It’s just us cunters left, last man standing turn the lights out and close the door on your way out.

  9. I used to enjoy going to the flicks, not so much now. Firstly, there can’t be many a sadder sight than a bloke in his own in the pictures. That’s serious no mates territory. Then, if you do have company, you have to sit amongst a bunch of cunts who are stuffing their fat stupid faces, usually with crunchy or noisy food, or shit in noisy wrapping, then slurping on a bucket of sugary piss, only pausing to check social media, to see if it had broken because they hadn’t used it in twenty eight seconds. Fuck it, I’d rather wait and watch it when it comes out on Blu-ray, and get a half decent rip of it. Fuck the public.

    • Used to love going the pictures, not been in ages, one near us is great, has a intermission,
      And a bird who comes round selling lollys and choc ices.
      Dont like multiplexes or ‘movies’ but do like popcorn.

      • I can’t remember what film it was, but this fat bird sat behind me didn’t stop for fucking breath the whole fucking film. Hotdog, popcorn, chocolate, and a barrel of Diet Coke. What is it with fat cunts and Diet Coke? ‘I’ll have pie and chips, two snickers bars, a big bag of walkers sensations, and a bottle of diet coke.’ Who the fuck are they fooling other than themselves? If I was a drinks company I’d ban fatties from the diet stuff, bad for advertising.

      • Fuck me, they have an ice cream lady! When was the last time you went, 1972?

        • Haha, naw, its a historic pictures!
          Keeps the 70s vibe,
          Last film we saw was the Lone Ranger (modern one) there, pearl& dean tune as well!!
          Fiddler would of liked the Lone Ranger, remind him of his gay childhood!☺

          • I would love to go to a cinema like that……an ice cream lady with a little light on her tray. Those were the days.
            They still have ice cream ladies in some West End theatres. (proper theatres not “movie theatres”) However, the fucking prices they charge would make your eyes water. You’d have to be a tourist, a millionaire or a cunt to pay those prices. Fuck that.

          • One up near Yorkshire still has a organist!
            Or did last time I was there in the late 90s.

  10. Talking of bad Americunt imports, I’m sure you’re familiar with men/boys who wear their trousers half way down their bottom or even at the top of the thigh. This stupid Hip Hop craze is called sagging apparently.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagging_(fashion)

    Don’t care much for the ever increasing popularity of Halloween either!

    • It’s called being too fucking lazy to get dressed. Always looks to me as if they’re prepared for a sudden bout of the shits from all the chiggun the cunts have eaten.

      • Halloween was brilliant but the Septics have turned it into some kind of dressy-up freeloader grabathon.

    • I don’t think half the cunts who do it realise whence it came! apparently it’s from Murrican homosexual prisoners intimating that they are ‘available’ da cunts.

    • Sagging and men in their 30s and 40s who wear baseball caps back-to-front.

      Oh dear-fucking-God.

  11. Fuck ‘the movies’ and anyone who wants to see one in a ‘theater’, corn-sucking, fake-cheese guzzling, plastic-castle-visiting colonial imbeciles.

    However I still prefer them running the word to THE CHINESE.

  12. I am of an age where it is referred to as going to the pictures.

    Don’t bother going these days.

    Overpaid snowflake self congratulating untalented actors but who are cast because they look good.

    Poor plot and lack of storyline resorting to remakes, reliance on special effects. Disney still churning out endless animated nonsense.

    These days tend to watch foreign films with subtitles with relatively unknown actors. Preferable to predictable American pap.

    • I generally watch smaller British films these days, not ‘British films’ like fucking Tomb Raider or post-Dalton James Bond (although I liked Casino Royale).

  13. I haven’t been to the cinema for fucking yonks, mainly because there’s never anything new out that I could bother to give the steam off my piss.

    Add to that the extortionate price to get in the place then buy some food/drink, then sit in the same position for about two fucking hours with my arse aching listening to cunts eating, drinking, talking, belching and farting and you have one massive cunt of an experience that I would much rather forego.

    In the extremely unlikely event that I do actually want to watch something I’ll get my mate Dave to download it.

    • Nail on the head, there! Nothing winds me up faster than listening to the fucking ‘noise pollution’ of fellow viewers! Thankfully when I’m back to work the local theatre’s there are like palaces. Only 30 seats for about £5 and you get a super wide reclining seat with a blanket. Went to one in Thailand and it was a velvet sofa! Proper comfy!

  14. Guys. That’s another one that’s here to stay and fucking winds me up. Stick it up your arse…….or should that be ass?

    • I saw a film last night starring Seka and John Holmes. Holmes and and his mate were double-plugging Seka.

      Mate: “Cute ass…”
      Holmes: “She ain’t bad for an old broad.”

      All very American.

  15. The last time I went to the cinema, it cost £48 for two tickets, popcorn and a coke.

    The hash cakes kicked in about 20 minutes after the film started and I fell asleep, only to be stirred from my slumber by what sounded and felt like a fucking earthquake from the unbelievably loud sound system.

    At this point I realised what a waste of cash going to the cinema is.

    Particularly as I have 55″ 4K screen at home with a Dolby THX surround system, where I get to control the volume, pause the film for a fag break and I can pass out completely shitfaced on my own sofa without the social stigma or police involvement

    • Forty-eight-fucking-quid?!

      What was that.. Avatar Transformer Wars; The Special Edition in Double IMAX 3D 4K 5G with THX surround V8 super-concorde sound, roll bars on seats and jets of blue alien sea spray?

      That’s what a trip to the cinema has become nowadays.

  16. John Holmes, his great grandfather was Sherlock Holmes…I believe??

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