The European Union

Over the course of its existence, the EU has established a reputation for outstanding achievement in one area of activity. The plutocrats of Brussels, aided by an army of petty bureaucrats, have successfully created mountains of regulations and mile upon mile of red tape.

Unfortunately, the EU’s reputation for crisis management is lower than a snake’s belly. The bloc currently faces two huge emergencies. Firstly, there’s the ongoing migrant crisis, focused at the moment on the border between vassal member state Greece and an increasingly belligerent Turkey. Then there’s the existential threat posed by Coronavirus; in addition to the massive toll of human misery, the epidemic is likely to flush an economic shitstorm down the pipe.

Now I humbly ask, where is the EU amid this mess? It gives every appearance of behaving like a sloth on Mogadon, wallowing in inertia as a creeping paralysis sets in. Okay, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the EU elite isn’t hunkered down in the Brussels fuhrer bunker, quaffing champagne and oysters, while the continent writhes in torment. Perhaps, even as I write, a massive EU contingency plan is set to unfold, bringing aid to the beleaguered nations of the Union. The trouble, however, is that the EU gives every IMPRESSION of dither, procrastination and delay, and appearances count for much. The plutocrats appear to be sitting with their fingers up their arses when the situation cries out for determined, decisive leadership, together with the implementation of practical measures designed to mitigate against the worst excesses of the situation. The EU needs to be seen to be walking the walk.

As an adjunct , I reckon that it’s a fair bet that this hidebound monstrosity will try to use the crisis as a pretext to push for an extension to the period of post-Brexit trade negotiations. Naturally, they’ll consider themselves entitled to continue plundering our fishing waters and our coffers for the duration of the extension.

Well I’d say that more and more people in the UK are coming to see the EU for the racket that it is. If any good is to come from this mess as we come out the other side, it’s that many more people elsewhere, particularly in Italy, may start to question just what the EU is for. To paraphrase from ‘Monty Python’s Life of Brian’, ‘What has the EU done for us?’ It’s a very good question. ‘That’s the EU for you’, I’d reply. When the chips are down, it’s as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I’d bet that Il Papa could find the odd billion or so down the back of his pew to help out…

Nominated by Ron Knee

78 thoughts on “The European Union

  1. Remember that all EU member states are sovereign nations and the EU does not interfere or intervene in issues within sovereign states.

  2. One agrees. One also noted that Italy is being supplied by Russia and China during the crisis. Where is the EU’s blanket response? Or is this one of those convenient times when it’s `down to national governments to decide their policy’.

    Political union is a toy for politicians when the chips are down as they are now. They are mostly useless.

    • If Member states are sufficiently weakened I fully expect the EU to push for full political integration, if the world takes a huge hit and the economy tanks then a world government will be suggested.

  3. I just hope Britain doesn’t fuck things up with this virus thing otherwise there will be too many comparisons with the EU, especially if the latter are seen to be doing a better job of controlling the virus (which most of our EU-loving media are already doing in terms of self-testing and comparing fatality stats with the likes of Germany and Italy with us)

    If Boris fucks things up it will play right into the EUs hands, along with Labour, the Left and of course the media. They’ll be screaming that the UK can’t manage a crisis on its own blah blah blah.

    Don’t fuck things up, Boris!

    • Too late Technocunt

      Why would Buffoon Boris tell those already living here to self isolate and lockdown yet still allow direct flights in from China and Italy with absolutely no testing, advising arriving passengers to self isolate for 14 days but only after they have got on the packed London Underground trains to get where they are going to?

  4. This whole virus business just highlights how useless and unnecessary the EU is. The borders have all returned, migrants stopped from getting into Greece , no one moving into neighbouring countries and countries are surviving without these overpaid dipsticks sticking their noses in.
    Not a peep from them because when it does not involve dictating or demanding money they are silent and useless. They have no solutions to real problems they join at create problems through layers of laws.
    Maybe after this countries will see this undemocratic monolith for what it is….a cash cow for useless bureaucrats and a power kick for their egos.

  5. The EU said, “The European people are a family. It is not clever to imagine that, in such a small house as Europe, it is possible to maintain a community of nations with different legal systems and legal moral choice.”


    Sounds a tad…totalitarian to me. Oh that’s right, because it was Hitler who said that, in 1936. Das Lied der Deutschen.

  6. The cunts just want the money to fritter away on their vanity projects. In a real crisis they’re fucking useless…

    Here’s an idea….
    Who’ll be the first celebrity cunt to die of coronavirus?
    I’m voting for michael barnier.

      • I know to while away the hours of this isolation on the lines of ‘Name That Tune’ maybe we could play ‘Name That Cunt’.
        This is how it works I will give a clue…

        1) This cunt is originally from America

        Now cunters come in with ‘ I will name that cunt in 2′ or’I will name that cunt in 3’.

        There are say five clues. Just a ‘fun thing’. Try it.

        • I’ll give it nudge Miles, and name that cunt in one (hopefully).

          Boris Johnson. He was born in Noo Yoik I think, unless that’s just a viscous rumour. 🤔

          • Fuck me Kiwicunt this is like a parlour game that gone disastrously wrong. I was hoping no one would be respond. Cos I got it wrong. He doesn’t originally from America but Canada.

            (Truncated version)

            The three clues are :-

            1) He originally comes from Canada.

            2) He was a film maker.

            3) He is married to one of the biggest pop celebrities in Britain.

            Answer at 12 Midnight Greenwich Mean Time.

          • Fuck that’s made me laugh Miles! You came up with the idea and got it wrong yourself? Good effort 👍🤣🤣

          • Kiwicunt the answer? David Furnish.

            I would like to thank you for taking part. What a tremendous success this has been.

          • Just about sums me up though Miles….I’m the only entrant into the competition and I still fucking came last. Anyhoo, thanks for the laugh.

    • I have a long list which I want to succumb and I’m not really bothered in what order they go.

      • Apparently so MAC – and the virus is already complaining about the flatulence and weird smell!

        • Hey Greta, try somebody who gives a fuck?

          The Greta showbiz caravan has hit the sidings lately so they had to come up with something.

          This would be a great time for the lipstick communists from Extinction Rebellion to come out and block a few roads wouldn’t it?

          • “Lipstick communists” – excellent!
            Well they wanted to shut the Country down and now it’s happened I presume they are overjoyed.

      • She reckons so, but she’s not been tested apparently. She’s not had it so badly as to stop her going on social meeja with her platitudes and warnings.

        • It’s a load of old bollocks Ron. She apparently thinks she MAY have had it the stupid mong. If I was a cynical old bastard I might think it’s just a publicity stunt because she hasn’t been getting much attention recently.

    • What a shame.
      Ive bounced back in mood now!
      Any fellow cunters self employed look at the Martin Lewis money expert site, saying probably 80% of your estimated earnings over 3yr.
      Sent Boris a email,
      ‘Dear prime minister i am one of the 5million self employed youve left blowing in the wind, nice to see youve allocated millions to the ‘Arts’
      How very London of you.
      Remember its people like me who gave you your mandate, remember that next election day, i will.’
      Feel much better!
      Get the paddling pool out!

      • Foreign Aid hasn’t been stopped. That money could pay for some intensive care units.

      • Good on you MNC – we are being fed to the wolves and shitbag Sunak has money to waste on fucking theatres. The Government are announcing on Friday what help they are going to offer the self employed, but I am not holding my breath.
        The good lady has offered to fund my business for six Months which is good of her but I would rather scrounge nothing and take my chances. I think it would be fair to say I would be lost without her, but that’s just my s*it sense of direction!
        She is also complaining about me putting her in the window in a “Roxanne” stylee – she is petite, blonde, most pleasing to the eye and as most of the hookers are self isolating I could make a fortune!

  7. Crisis? Some step up, some shrivel.
    Decades of robbery, lies, deceit, dictatorial laws.
    Coronavirus? The EU hides behind the walls of its palaces working out how they can twist this into yet another well paid extension, as Europe suffers and dies.
    Not wanted, not needed, rats – Angela still can’t handle the fact the silly little British hammered you – TWICE – and now Adolf Merkel wants to ruin us in peacetime, and Germany have been trying to do that for decades.
    I think the (utter lack of) response by the EU shows how relevant they are, need to be rid of this 21st Century dictatorship.

  8. I thought it was set in law there would be no extension? If it is, then wouldn’t it require an act of parliament to alter it.
    If silly cunt Boris allows that, then all the labour votes he borrowed, will disappear overnight. Virus or no virus we must leave eu on December 31st.
    Even on WTO terms, the thought of that will sharpen the poisonous little minds across the channel.

    • And if we leave on WTO I presume we get to keep our £39bn…. we’ll need it a hell of alot more than a deal with the failing EU.

      • No we won’t as it goes. The £39 Billion is signed into UK and EU law as part of the Withdrawal Agreement which is an international treaty and not to be confused with a Trade Agreement/negotiating future relations.

        Also written into law is that the transition period until the end of this year requires that we pay our dues up until that time and also pay pensions and liabilities until 2064 all of which totals £39 Billion.

        It’s a commonly held misconception that we don’t have to pay it if we leave with non deal – probably because Withdrawal Agreement and Trade Agreement are both deals and both used interchangeably with one another.

        • …fucking Treason May. She wasn’t COTY triple winner 2018 for no reason. What a cunt.

          • As soon as the referendum result came in and every cunt and his dog in parliament said they would respect the vote, Pig-Fucker should have used the royal prerogative to trigger A50 or got them all to vote on an act of parliament to trigger it (fuck you Maybot) but no; the fucking coward had to quit and hand the keys over to a learner driver.

          • I’ve been saying that on here for months TITS. The £39 billion was gone the moment Parliament ratified the Withdrawal Agreement.

            And there’ll be a further £12 billion* NET to pay for every year the transition period is extended… as it most assuredly will be.

            * On current estimate. It’ll be considerably more by 2022…

        • £39bn will seem like pocket change when the final bill comes in after the Corbyn Virus has fucked off and everything returns to normality.

          Forecasts suggest anything between £500bn and £800bn worth of national debt to add to the existing £2.3tn debt this country is shackled with the rest of the world.

          “got any spare change, guv?”

          • If Corbyn was in charge he would have used this whole thing as an excuse to nationalise everything and probably would have borrowed a fuck sight more than 500-800bn.

    • It is, Alca.
      To be fair, I don’t think that under the circumstances, anyone would object to an extension of the trade negotiations. However i think that there would be hell to pay if the EU expected or demanded continued access to our fishing waters or our coffers beyond 2020.

      • Wheres Bertie?
        An Dicks not posted for a bit?
        Anyone gonna go check on them?
        Few milk bottles outside Berties when i drove past, but curtains were drawn.
        Fiddlers either hunting or horse has kicked him in the nut.
        Getting worried now.

        • I’m sure both are fine, it’s first day of peasant hunting season soon, Dick will be preparing, Berties probably advising Boris.

        • Being a serial offender, Dick is probably in custody.
          Probably for some kind of sexual offence.
          He really is the limit.

          Bertie is probably pissed up in bed
          Afternoon MNC.

          • Afternoon Jack,
            Your probably right,
            Even though im sole heir to Dicks land and property, be a hollow windfall, fond of the horrible old bastard.
            You coping ok mate?
            Look after yourself & mrs cunter.👍👍

          • We are doing all right thank’s, MNC. I’m still working, as I work on my own, outside, and am not near anyone. Which is as well, as the government doesn’t seem to give two fucks about the self employed.
            Hope you and yours are ok too, same goes for everyone else here.
            Carry On Cunting !

  9. “I reckon that it’s a fair bet that this hidebound monstrosity will try to use the crisis as a pretext to push for an extension to the period of post-Brexit trade negotiations.”

    They’ve already have Ron. After Barnier tested positive for Coronavirus and trade negotiations were suspended until further notice, the EU let it be known that they would be “open to extending the transition period should the UK government request it…”

    How nice of them.

    And the current estimate of £12 billion NET per extended year is bound to quadruple at least by the time Corbyn19 has finished with us.

    • And, judging by the media coverage, there’ll only be 9 people left in the country to pay it.

    • Surely that means Ruff Tuff that unless Boris agrees to an extension, we leave at the and of the year with the “off the edge of the Cliff” NO DEAL?

      In that case Boris is bound to extend, the Coronavirus being the excuse that he needs as everyone knows he wants a deal.

      A Remoaner earlier today posted a tweet blaming the current state of panic of food shortages in this country on none other than Nigel Farage. No mention of the stupid cunt panic buyers. He also called Nigel a racist for saying that the virus emanated from China.

      Fucking brain dead lefty cunt.

    • No extension – the EU would use rain as an excuse to delay, snakes.
      NO extension.

  10. Ronnie me old mate, I am a self confessed Francophile, and having lived in the heart of Europe for 13 years, I must admit that I love the EU. I cannot think of anything that Brussels has done, that has impeded my lifestyle. I would go as far as to say that if Jean-Claude Juncker wasn’t such a drunken, smelly old cunt, I would happily have sucked his eurocock.

    Yours, looking at a swarthy mowing my lawns.

    • Dont know what to say to that…
      Like you im a self confessed Frankenstein,
      But hate the EU
      An as for juncker well wouldnt suck his cock,
      Maybe a drunken fumble..😁😁

    • Have you got Covid-19, has it caused some brain spasm, best go and see a doctor 😂

      • My surgery won’t see you, it’s telephone appointment only. But they tell you to come in to collect your prescription. 2 weeks ago, despite all the shit about avoiding people, they decided to implement a new software system, which isn’t yet functional, and means ALL patients that previously ordered prescriptions online now have to go and pick them up. Genius.

    • Supporting the single market and/or customs union I can understand, even though I don’t support it.

      The EU on the other hand, there is no rational reason to be part of the EU.

    • I’m a Europhile myself, WS; I absolutely love Europe. It’s the fucking EU that fills me with loathing and contempt. I particularly detest people who label people me and others like me as xenophobic, because thay can’t seem to see the difference between the continent of Europe and the bloated, undemocratic monstrosity that is the EU for themselves.

  11. The EU were pissed off when individual countries started shutting borders, without asking permission from Van der Val (or whatever the new president is called).

    Fuck off EU!

    I have lots of sympathy for the self employed, the ones who are doing proper jobs, plumber, electricians, and so on.
    Just seen a slitty eyed bitch being interviewed on the BBC, claims to be a ‘Freelance consultant for fashion brands’, what the fuck is that!! Sorry that isn’t a fucking job, sounds more like a chancer who gets an odd gig flogging L’Oreal’s latest crap in a department store!

    That’s the problem the government has to sort out, people who are genuine self employed and ones who just taking the piss!

  12. Talking of dirty, European criminals, can we spare a thought at this difficult time for two of Britain’s larger ‘Continental’ groups who surely must be feeling the squeeze, namely Romanian burglars and Albanian drug-dealers.

    How is the Romanian “cleaner” or “handyman” supposed to pilfer or “clean” if the owner is in quarantine and not allowed to leave their house? Similarly, how is your average, assiduous Albanian supposed to sidle up to crowds and pretend to support their football team/endear themselves/ask if they need any sniff, if two or more aren’t allowed to congregate?

    The bloody government hasn’t thought this through and it’s disgraceful. How are these fringe groups meant to continue without a bail-out from Johnson? They must receive 80% of their regular earnings so Radu or Dimitru can send loads back to their respective shit-holes.

    • How can Romania pickpockets make a decent living when the streets are empty, no tourists…it’s a disgrace, Jeremy Corbyn needs to sort it out!

      • You bloody racist Sick of it.

        But you are not wrong. My eldest daughter relieved of her mobile phone by a gang of your Romanian cunts. We know this because the police openly told us. Needless to say the gang was allowed to continue robbing and it nearly happened to her a second time a few months later but she recognised them before it was too late.

        Fucking thieving cunts who shouldn’t be here.

        • Thieving thieving swarthy cunts Willie…
          They are from a country that’s a complete shit hole that only breeds thieves.

        • Going back a few years the data was that one third of petty crime in London (mainly pickpockets) were Romanian.
          I was stopped a couple of times, with the same trick… they walk past you and suddenly bend down to ‘pick something up’, it’s a ring, then they ask have you dropped this…. my answer on both occasions was
          “FUCK OFF”

          They don’t give a fuck about being caught because fuck all happens.

    • The weed dealers don’t seem to be struggling. Keep smelling the stuff every now and then.

        • Let’s have another Live Aid to raise some bangers & mash for those poor burglars.

          We are the Cunts,
          We are the children
          We are the ones that make a brighter day

  13. Now there’s a bit of a crisis those spineless cunts will have fucked off to their country estates.
    The S.A.S should be deployed to give them the 39 billion cure.
    Fucking rats.

  14. I would not only condone a chemical attack on the EU Headquarters, I would celebrate it !

  15. Goodbye eu it was really shit knowing you. You fucking bunch of utter useless fucking cunts.

  16. This crisis has shown how fucking useless the EU really are.
    Not sure the remianers have noticed, they don’t want to lose face . Losing face has always been seen as an Asian thing, but because of social media, it’s going on in the western world too.

    They must surely notice that the EU has said and done FUCK ALL with regards to the Chinese flu. Fucking useless bunch of grifters.

    It’s all about the nation state now. Which is why countries like ours are fucked.

  17. If we brought in hanging for bastardverminsqhum who sabotage emergency vehicles (and food delivery vehicles), I think the EU would boot us out ?

  18. If there is one thing the corona virus has done well it’s to unite people under one common, human cause. It’s actually swerved the middleman of politics and gone straight to the heart of what’s important.

    The EU hates nationalist sentiment and actively tries to squash this through open boarder policies and free movement and its slow creep towards an overarching, top down political structure and an insistence of ‘cultural enrichment’.

    But, now that Britain has to think about it’s own set of unique problems in dealing with this, its got us thinking as a nation again. And, hell if it isn’t lifting our collective spirits and reminding us that some things are more important than political partisanship.

    ‘Communism’…’Nationalism’ –
    whatever the fuck you desire to call it to suit your agenda – right now we are thinking like a community again. That’s good.

    Also, people in a time of crisis, need direct leadership from someone they know and trust as their leader, someone they’ve spent time with. Not some daft, old, half-pissed Flemish EU randomer with no discernability.

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