Lock down UK

So we have been expecting this for some time to curve the spike.

So Cunter’s, what are you up to? what are your secrets to isolation and are you the fabled bog roll hoarders.

Please comment below.

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227 thoughts on “Lock down UK

  1. Well, I have been retired for nine years and I am an anti social cunt as some of you may have surmised. Polishing the Guzzi and ham radio will be on the agenda plus some research on ORP Blyskawica. My dad helped build the ship in the 1930s and always spoke fondly of her.

    • So ….. what model Guzzi will you be polishing. I spent a couple of years at the factory in Mandello in a previous life.

      Fond memories.

        • That was the problem with Guzzi : Owners wanted the bike they already had instead of buying a new one every 5 years. Great brand loyalty — but not so good for sales.

  2. I’m going to learn to play the piano I bought before Christmas. Once this is all over I’ll be just like Liberace – hopefully without the flamboyance and the gayness.
    I will also be watching a lot of porn.

  3. It is reported that three men in a black BMW, have stolen 8 cylinders of oxygen and nitrous oxide from a hospital in Manchester.
    This kind of activity needs nipping in the bud, before mayhem breaks out. It’s time to open up every police station 24 / 7, and have armed troops in them, alongside police officers, carrying out patrols, and with authority to shoot looters and rioters.
    Hospitals and other facilities should be provided with an armed presence.
    The time for pussyfooting has gone.
    I look forward to local radio news reporting a horrific car explosion, following a collision with a Transit van full of Pikeys.
    Get To Fuck.

  4. I give zero fucks about this lockdown. I am an anti-social cunt anyway and spend most of my day up in my room on my laptop, listing and selling my shit on ebay to make a living and avoiding human contact at all costs, bar my parents and sister, when she rolls up.

    I don’t like people. Give me my cat Del Boy over those tossers any day of the week.

    I am very confused by BoJo’s broadcast, Is this lockdown LAW now?? It sure doesn’t sound like it. What the actual fuck is he on about, still letting these mindless cunts out for ‘one period of exercise daily’??? As if these cunts are going to abide by this. if you are STILL telling people they can go out for a wander and roam, they are going to continue to take the piss here if nobody is policing this supposed ‘one period’. How is anyone in authority going to know that they have had just ONE exercise period and are not doing it multiple times or for extended periods….like all fucking day long?? Why is he still wishy-washy about this and kowtowing to these cunts??

    It should be a case of staying at home except NOTHING ELSE but to go and get food and provisions. END OF.

    I despair actually. This shitstorm is never going to end if someone doesn’t get really tough on these irresponsible cockwombles.

    • Couldn’t agree more, Nurse… Shooting some of the thoughtless cunts would be a start… Panic buying at McDonald’s?! What else needs to be said?…

      • They are prolonging this shit for all of us, Norman. It is incredible just how thick and selfish these cunts are.

        Just taser the fuckers, chuck them in a big, fuck-off Police van and throw them back home.

        • Sharpening my pungi sticks, & getting the cheese wire & crowbar ready for any cunt who chances his luck to break in to steal my bog roll & pot noodle.

          Didn’t have time to stock up on battery acid for the sprayer.

          Has anyone else noticed the Jehova’s witnesses have evaporated ? Haven’t seen one this year…

          • Well spotted L o t R. Although I have been reliably been informed not to open any e mails with the subject of “Ding_Dong” Apparently the Jehovahs are working from home now.

    • These are the same cunts when told not to stick their heads in a Lions mouth would do it anyway. Thick, selfish cunts.
      Trouble is they will have an effect on others. At least with the Lion it would be them giving a good meal to said Lion without causing the general public a problem.

      • Have you got your stockpile of Chocolate Buttons Nurse Cunty? Alas, I am not allowed them. Mrs P forbade them and I have to do with cheap chocolate biscuits. But it’s not the same ‘chocolate fix’. O woe is me!

        • Evening Miles!

          Ahhh, you know me so well……I have ordered up a shitload of them from Tesco, to be delivered on Wednesday with our usual shop, but every day when I check the order online, another item is removed as ‘out of stock’.

          If they dare remove the choccy buttons, there will be hell to pay. Tesco – you have been warned, you tossers!

          Oh no…no choccy buttons?!! That is just cruel, especially in times like these when a proper fix of chocolate is required. Can you not sneak some in?

          • Messed up with the money Nurse so I am being punished. We are ordering a box delivery Fri but I daren’t ask her if it includes choccy. I am worried.

          • Well I’m chuffed to fuck with the return of “Old Jamaicee” rum ‘n raisin choc bars. Been looking and occasionally asking shop owners if they’d heard of them for years and then a month or so back there they were on the shelf! 😎 ‘kin ace! A “Bar 6” would go down a treat as well.

  5. I don’t like the idea of effectively being under house arrest but the way these stupid cunts were behaving over the weekend it is absolutely the right thing to do.
    Not sure it’s going to stop much for the panic buying at the supermarket though. We’re going to give it a few days to see how it pans out before we need to go food shopping.

    Got a couple of friends in the States in the same boat and just heard from a friend in South Africa that they’re going on lock down for 21 days starting Thursday.

    Meanwhile have you heard about the Covid Challenge that sweeping social media? It’s like that fucking stupid ice bucket challenge except that it entails deliberately infecting yourself by going around licking things and posting it on Farcebook.
    These fucking cunts don’t deserve to survive..

  6. This curfew will never work in Londonistan. Or other major cities and urban areas. I give it a week before the effniks have sacked the Westfield shopping centre in Stratford.

    • Was just wondering when the riots, looting, military coups etc would start in Africa, South America and the subcontinent. Now realise that Londonistan will be the epicentre of worldwide gimmedat unrest leading to the complete breakdown of civilisation, and the extinction of humanity. Fuck it, had a decent innings. 3 days with no beer changes your views on things, now believe the pubs should reopen and the elderly can stay indoors if they don’t want to catch it. We’re going to have a Coronavirus party in the village when one of us gets afflicted, some of us will die but better to go with boots on at the bar than cowering behind the sofa in comfy slippers. Seriously cunters, how long are you willing to sit at home bored and getting nagged for? One month? Six? Virus isn’t going to go away in summer, and neither are we unless we man up quick and tell Boris to come up with a plan that has some sort of objective.
      In the sweepstakes I have Thursday 6pm for UK hitting 10,000 cases. Should be close.

  7. Interesting to see that London is the major cause of all this bollocks. The hoarding, lack of community spirit, going out with mates, going to raves = Italy levels soon.

    I wonder why this is the case? The mind fucking boggles, doesn’t it?

    Containment is needed. Nobody in or out of the capital. Because it’s getting so bad in London people are escaping to go to relatives elsewhere in the country.

    We are fucked because we won’t get tough. Yes, we live in a tolerant, liberal society not a police state, but these are extraordinary times needing extraordinary measures.

    If we we’re too scared to put ideals on hold for now, then many can say goodbye to grandma and grandad.

    So what’s it going to be?

    Cordon off Londonistab!

  8. Hmm, so if you’re out on the street who is going to pull you up?

    Does this mean the coppers are going to actually get off their arses? As far as I can make out they’ve been on lock down for years.

    • We need our dedicated coppers – those thoughts won’t Police themselves, and hate crime is always just one false accusation away.
      Vigilance against evil whitey is our only hope! 😄

  9. Britain doesn’t know how to do a proper lockdown. It goes against our natural freedom to do that.
    They’re not going to have bobbies on every street stopping every cunt that goes out the house. A proper Ching-Chong lockdown would involve police borders and not being able to leave your town etc.
    Mrs Pillar is in hysterics about the whole fucking thing.

  10. Who would of imagined that doing fuck all except lying around watching TV and wanking to internet porn was going to save the human race….

    In truth I’m already bored to fuck and wish I had a Corby trouser press so I could dismantle it….

  11. And the London Underground driver who went back to work after returning from Vietnam and contaminated the whole of the fucking Tube?!!…

    Yeah…. That cunt….

    • Patient zero these cunts are usually called. In this case, brain cells. Hope he has ‘underlying health issues’.

  12. i can’t see this lockdown making the slightest difference. if you are stopped by the police all you have to say is you are out for one of the allowed reasons .

    • I have arthritis which, according to GP, requires “gentle exercise”, my digs are in a wonky old Victorian terrace with VERY creaky floors, so I WON’T be watching some wanky hipster’s “physical jerks” video, and I won’t be bouncing up and down on the floors, as I’d demolish the feckin place. However, walking up Newport Rd to the supermarkets is NOT exactly “scenic”, and I really don’t expect to bump into anybody, unless it’s an Army convoy, or, hopefully, a load of mounted WPOs. It seems the pet shops have a reprieve, too, so I can visit the rabbits, which I didn’t have time for today. As for starting work on April 6th…pfffft. Can’t see that happening, but there again, it’s Civil Service, so there’s no telling. Can but hope I’d be put on to something useful, like paying self-employed their 80% averaged over past 3 years earnings.
      Listening to loads of music on YouTube, studiously avoiding the bloody awful Ode to Joy at all costs. Reading, tea and biscuits…
      One day, we’ll all look back on this, and think…what a bloody bore it was.

        • Why omit Japan? Haven’t you seen Bridge on the river Kwai? We’re in a Chink eat dog situation here, no time to get all soft and forgiving.

          • Same here! My Uncle suffered appalling treatment and terrible conditions at the hands of the Japanese, for over 5 years! He worked at the Nissan plant in Sunderland!

          • Aint river Kwai in Thailand in a remote area with no Bar girls to plow with drink and fuck 3 in a bed with?

      • I cannot imagine much meat on ‘breast of bat’ or ‘leg of bat’ for that matter. I know the wings are gossamer see-through from watching David Attenborough so no meat there either. They must eat ten or twenty of them at a time to make a substantial meal.

        I was going to say a ‘wholesome’ meal but it is certainly not wholesome.

  13. And celebricunts ‘self isolating’ and fucking filming it?!

    Madogga… To be expected from that attention seeking reeking of kippers old prostitute…

    Romelu Lukaku… He’s better at that than he is in front of goal… The useless fat cunt…

    • Celebs are fucking hating this. Not because if the dangers, but because they aren’t getting much attention.

      Stephen Fry giving anxiety advice? Well, easy to compare the stress levels when you’re a fucking multi-millionaire, isn’t it, you daft cunt?

      I’m sure he is stressed. But it’s not like he’s going to lose everything as well as worrying like fuck about his family, is it?

      • Stephen Fry giving ‘anxiety advice’?

        The same Stephen Fry who has exhibited multiple snowflake social media flouncings over a few hurty words?

        About as useful as advice from Harvey Weinstein on dating etiquette.

      • I saw the picture of Stephen Fry and thought that the cunt looks very old and frankly none too healthy. I may have to put in in my Deadpool group.

    • Yes and celebrity megacunts filming themselves singing ‘Imagine’.
      ‘imagine all the people sharing all the world…’.
      Just like you’re all doing.

      • I wrote up a nom for that but I think one of the admin might be a John Lennon fan and taken offence at a few contemptuous sentiments towards Saint John.

  14. Any cunt who purposely ignores these curfews and passes on the chinki bat flu should be nicked and charged with murder… Cunts…

    • Dirty little diseased, barbaric Chinese cuntfucks.

      I notice they are all making a point of masking up in London, more so than any other demographic. There’s some reverse psychology right there.

      A lovely fantasy would be the rest of the world uniting to bomb the living fuck out of China. They should, because the filthy cunts are the biggest threat to the world by far.

  15. I would expect real disorder if this lasts more than 3 weeks. And the police will not, in any capacity, be able to manage.

    Still, perhaps now the rozzers are too preoccupied to arrest/warn people for misgendering trannies.

  16. For viewers in Scotland:
    Boris didn’t use the word lockdown, but Wee Nicola Sturgeon did.

    The Chief Medical Officer Catherine Calderwood was standing like a stuffed dummy during the broadcast. I don’t know if I like her. I wouldn’t want her to be my doctor standing there smoking her pipe like a transvestite dominatrix.

  17. It’s pretty much same old same old for me. I’m between jobs right now which is a cunt because thanks to the fucking Chinese, finding a new job just got a lot fucking harder. Fortunately Mrs. Yank is gainfully employed and I have health insurance through her employer, so if I decide to start licking door handles and toilet seats, I should be taken care of. The downside is, Mrs. Yank now works from home. I used to enjoy hearing her car disappear down the road each morning, as I’d have the whole house to myself all day. That’s been knocked on the head, again thanks to the fucking Chinese. Fortunately Mrs Yank is a GOG (Good ol’ Girl), so we’re never at each other’s throats like some couples might be. She does make an awful racket though trying to get out of the locked shed, but that’s another story for another time. 😆

    We have plenty of food and the cops have started to do crowd control at the local supermarkets. Plus the supermarkets themselves have finally figured out mass buying of certain products by one or two people isn’t on, so there’s rationing now for stuff like TP, cleaning products, bread, eggs, milk, etc.

    I have my own Spinning bike so I can workout as usual. I have all the computers I need, including a fuck off server of my own. Plus 400 mbps internet speed. Lovely jubbly. We do hate where we live though and have been working towards moving for a while. That depends on me landing my next job which is now more difficult. So we’re stuck where we are which is a cunt because we’re surrounded by cunts. I have my own semi-auto and fuck would I like to make the street a lot quieter, if you know what I mean.

    Just waiting for this crap to blow over. Saw on the news today that this will be a big week for stats in the US. 40K cases nationwide with over half of that in New York state!! Bloody hell. Oh well. We’re doing OK and I sincerely hope my fellow cunters are too.

  18. The trouble, well at least here in Glasgow, people still don’t give a fuck.
    It’s as if were too stuck in cloud cockoo land and the virus is just a minor setback.
    As if were immune to it all.
    I pray for the next level and that if you can’t prove your out for shopping.
    You will be shot

  19. There’s no exit strategy from this lockdown, none. About the best we can hope for is a vaccine in 18 months to 2 years. For the last 15 years our public services have been paid for with debt – that was when the economy was fully functioning. This economic paralysis is unsustainable. And what if a vaccine can’t be found, there’s no guarantee it will. It’s hard to see whether this strategy or letting 10% of the population get killed off by this China virus would be more devastating to the country. At least in a war you’ve got an enemy, a purpose. This will be death by boredom, inactivity, and economic implosion. Nobody here will live to see Britain pay off this debt we’re currently accruing.

  20. Where I work there are limits on everything including food items and cleaning stuff and loo roll.
    There is a separate opening time for NHS staff, and one for the elderly. After they have finished and gone, everyone else is let in.

    There is hazard tape on the floor by the tills to keep customers when in queue separate from one another. We’re constantly cleaning the till and around it.

    There are some people that still lick their fingers before taking out money, or bank cards, or vouchers from their purses and wallets. That annoys me.
    There still are some children that sit in the trolley with dirty shoes.
    Fork sake.

    • Ask if you can out a sign up requesting customers don’t lick their fingers before counting money. If you do this and some idiot does it, refuse to serve them. You would be well within your rights to do so.

      • Our local Asda has put up a list of do’s and dont’s at the checkouts and not licking payment cards is one of them. I mean, is that a thing?

        • Indeedly, Moggie.
          I find it’s mainly people of a certain age that do it.

          The shop is a bit more relaxed nowadays. I don’t see lots of people scrabbling for pasta and loo roll.
          I still see some people wearing rubber gloves and a mask, though not so much.
          Keep calm and carry on. 🙂

  21. Personally the only positive thing coming out of the chinky virus so far is I’ve been given an excellent opportunity to avoid some truly tiresome dull cunts,
    Instead of crossing the road or taking an imaginary phone call to avoid some inane banter I’ve got my NEW best friend
    SOCIAL DISTANCING to fall back on , I don’t care when the chinky virus battle is won I’m gonna socially distance these cunts PERMANENTLY ……
    Apparently we’ve got a particularly virulent strain of Coronavirus on the south coast so instead of keeping the required 2 metres away I’m asking a lot of cunts to stay a fucking mile away …..

  22. According to the Times, flights from Chinkyland, Italy and Iran are still merrily landing in the UK. Does Boris’ government really have a grip on this?

    • It’s all just manufactured fear to see how paletable we find martial law. It’s like these 6000 deaths in Italy. Complete bollocks. They all had the virus when they died but the virus was an accelarant rather than the direct cause in all but 12% of cases. Suddenly 600 over 3 weeks seems a lot less and even less when 1600+ die everyday there.

      When an 70 year old today was born they had about a 3% chance of dying before 1, that rises to 7% for an 80 year old. In a quasi sense we’re shutting the whole world down to protect a group of people from something less likely to kill them than their own birth.

      I wouldn’t mind if the locusts weren’t out there clearing the shelves while I’m busy trying to work from home and look after the kids for their protection the selfish cunts.

      • I’m really wavering over whether suppression is the right course. I’m in a high risk group but I’m feeling like I’d rather take my chances with the virus than suffer practical house arrest and £1tn added to the national debt.

        • If lockdown “saves” 250,000 people many of whom would likely be dead in 12 months that’s 4 million quid a go in national debt alone never mind the economic impact.

          So the budget for a small school to keep some old dodderer alive for 6 months who’s probably only being kept alive by a cocktail of drugs as it is.

          The fucking virus is still killing less people than heart disease and cancer Daily, even now.

          • You’re a troll aren’t you?
            Each time, you only pop up to be deliberately contentious.The crap you come out with flies against all the evidence you see around you.
            What’s this down you have about elderly people?
            You’re not related to Harold Shipman perchance are you?

            No he is not and your response is similar to people who shout racist, all because you do not agree does not make someone a troll, I have the analytics you do not, so no to troll yes to someone you do not like.

          • Show me the evidence that more people died of coronavirus yesterday than cancer then.

            Or evidence that coronavirus deaths in Italy are being routinely over exaggerated by the media.

            Extending the lives of 250,000 people now to the potential ruination of the other 65 million is utterly insane.

          • This pandemic could trigger the greatest economic collapse of modern times. The potential suffering caused by such a collapse is difficult to guess at. It’s not a given that suppression is the right course, if it was 3 weeks then fine, but it’s more likely to be nearer 3 years or longer with no end in sight, and there’s no guarantee that less people will even die or whether the deaths will just be drawn out over time. It’s a topic for debate with no certainty.

          • Your argument is completely fallacious. We know the figure will grow to outstrip these other numbers. Deaths from cancer and heart disease will not be increasing at this rate. In fact, overall mortality rates for cancer in the UK have been slowly decreasing. Yours is a snapshot of a moment in time. Come back to me in 6 weeks and see if you can still say the same thing.

          • Still waiting for any form of tangible evidence to counter my argument. Guess there isn’t any other than what you’ve read in the daily mail.

          • Come for a ride-a-long with me to a confirmed Coronavirus case. You can even come in with me to deal with it. Fancy sitting in the back with them on the way to hospital? Fuck off and decrease the surplus population you’re harping on about, you fucking troll. I’d rather treat one old dodderer on their last legs thsn a bored, vacuous cunt like you. (Apologies, Admin. Here’s my wrist for you to slap).

          • Is that even possible.,to pick up a confirmed case, seeing as people are currently only being tested in hospitals?

            Or are patients being moved from hospital to hospital? It would seem odd to routinely move patients infected with a deadly airborne pathogen around but you will know better than I if that is happening. And if it is we should probably be asking questions as to why should we not?

          • How the fuck do you think they get to hospital? Not everyone makes their own way in. What if they’ve arrested and we get a ROSC? We still go in even if it’s a confirmed case. Some of my mates have caught this off patients they’ve taken in. Don’t try to argue, you’ll not even come second.

          • I’m not arguing, I’m asking a perfectly reasonable question. I was under the impression testing was only being carried out in hospitals.

            You’re saying you go and pick up confirmed cases.

            So if you’re picking up confirmed cases either certain people are being tested at home and you know they are confirmed, patients who test positive are being sent home and readmitted , or patients are being moved from hospital to hospital who have it.

            Being on the trontline you can enlighten us better than anyone here as to which is the case because all three of the above if this virus is as deadly as you say I find very troubling.

          • And, yes, it is possible to go to a confirmed case. We have PPE. Made by the lowest bidder. After you. Hey, come back….

          • Evening DCI. Can’t you just smell these trolls a mile away? We’ve had a fair few of these recently but this one must be the most odious of all.

            That is where you are wrong, I have let one through for entertainment value and we still our Russian sleeper.
            Accept the following, sometimes people say things you do not like, sometimes you may be wrong, sometimes you may be right.
            As part of the admin team I often see comments that I do not agree with even nominations that I would never put up but I need to be objective and work within the parameters of the job, take the hint and do not bite.

          • Smell ’em like a C-Diff. patient on a summers day.

            Cunts. Sad, lonely cunts. Self isolation is their normal routine.

          • Currently NICE put a price on everyone’s head – I think it’s about £30k per year, and if medication exceeds that price then they won’t pay for it usually. They don’t do that to be mean, but because funds are not limitless. Every £1m we lose is £1m we can’t spend on other services now or in the future. Why when the government has always set an upper limit on what it will pay to keep someone alive is it suddenly off limits to speculate on whether a financial cost is too high for the state to keep someone alive? I’m not saying I have the answer, but the question’s perfectly legitimate.

      • Oh dear. that cunt is back again, A troll if ever I saw one. A cunt who believes that his precious daughter’s life is worth more than anyone over the age of 70. What he suggests is the thinking of Nazi Germany. Let’s cull the useless and over-the-hill of the world in order to cleanse us of excess baggage.

        I was rather hoping you had been in the firing line of a Covid sneeze by now. Sadly not.

        I find your viewpoint repulsive. Life doesn’t have more value because of youth and what you can get out of a human being. Certainly not for people like me whose almost 80 year old parents are still active and of sound mind, work and contribute to society, but more than that, are loved by their family, just like your prodigal child.

        • This is the character that called me a nazi last week. I would find being called a troll mild in comparison.

          Depends, I know a few Nazis and they are decent sorts, if you pop round CEX when they have their sales you will meet your average troll.

          now enough please.

        • When Bertie called the argument ‘fallacious’ I thought cocksucking was being inferred. Turns out to be nothing so exciting…

        • You’re very hung up about this. I actually said I would give my life for my daughter. I didn’t bring your parents, who I’m sure are lovely, into this at all you did.

          But yes I do think younger people should be priorised and I expect more doctors and parents would agree.

          Equally I expect if there was one ventilator in a room and you or your mother or father needed it they’d insist you had it as well.

          I could say your equally sick or sicker because you’d watch an innocent child suffer to save yourself. But I don’t believe that to be the case., you just don’t want your parents to die. And that’s perfectly understandable but also, sadly inevitable.

  23. Are we still allowed to have sex? Are we allowed to sleep in the same bed? In the same room?

    Lady Creampuff is strictly adhering to the 2 metre rule. 👍

  24. I’ll be spending lock down preparing detailed plans of how I’ll go about disrupting the trading of every chink restaurant in town. With brief interludes to enjoy the wife’s fine cooking before giving her a good pumping.

  25. I overlook the local large car park at the rear of my house. Doesn’t look any the less empty this morning. Also, the usual suspects have all buggered off to work and are parking outside my house to go to work.

    There’s a Vauxhall dealership just up the road. Their staff park outside my house every bloody morning. They’re here as usual. Since when the fuck is selling shit cars (none of their staff actually drive their own brand) considered an essential service. And who the fuck is buying a car today???

    People are cunts. They deserve to die but not to infect the rest of us in the process

  26. I’m self-employed and work in IT (although I have scaled that back a little since moving up here to the Lake District)

    I told my customers (mostly small businesses, shops, and the general public) that in accordance with Boris’ wishes I won’t be helping them with their IT problems because I’m not absolutely sure whether I’m a “key worker” or not!

    This morning I had a few emails back saying that if you’re not a key worker, then you should be because access to the internet is crucial for most people, and without a working computer/router/whatever they’re being denied access to information.

    So I went on the government’s and discovered that those that work in telecommunications (including IT) are “key workers”. But then it goes onto say

    “If workers think they fall within the critical categories above, they should confirm with their employer that, based on their business continuity arrangements, their specific role is necessary for the continuation of this essential public service.”

    Well I’m self-employed, therefore I am my own “employer”. So I’m still not sure if I should continue with my job and help people with their IT issues or not.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

      • I would think communications is a vital skill at the moment.
        I think working from home with kit provided by employers will be on the increase, so a definite yes. Not to mention that the whole infrastructure will be getting close to overload, surely.
        Whether the gvnmnt have sussed this, am not certain…

  27. I bought seedlings and seeds and am waiting on a delivery of gravel boards to make raised beds seeing as there’s no veg in the shops!

  28. End of month which means many people will get paid this week, as they cannot go to the pub and get hammered I predict a supermarket sweep ravaging of alcohol aisles in supermarkets, if people are losing their marbles about not being able to get beans etc I think going all weekend without some death strength lager might send them into a piss withdrawal frenzy

  29. Well this is fun, I am in lock down at work as we attempt to work out if we should be trading or not and who we should be trading with (sorry Joe public it wont be you by the look of it).
    I am fielding phone calls from the public who want to pop in and buy a bit of wood-stain or a pot of paint and hearing phrases like “I wasn’t expecting this” or “Hindsight is such a marvellous thing” and I find myself thinking, I bet your house is stuffed full of bog roll, pasta and tinned food, but you didn’t think of ways to keep yourself occupied between eating and shitting, tossers.

    I am tempted to go outside with an aerosol can and write “all dead” on one of the posters outside just to add to the effect.

  30. Like many of us I’ve been self-isolating for ages due to not being able to bear the vast majority of people I’ve ever met. Fortunately I moved from vibrant London last year and currently live in rural bliss. Apart from no theatre or cinema life continues as normal, hundreds upon hundreds of books, DVDs, CDs etc to get through. Plus porn.
    When I’ve exhausted all of those I may do some fucking work.

  31. The cozzers or the army should just very publicly whack a couple of disruptive or selfish cunts in a public place or a supermarket and the rest of the fuckers will think twice about it… Something has gone badly wrong since the 1980s… I blame this modern parenting shite and the lack of corporal punishment…. Most of these ‘Me Me Me’ cunts and stockpiling vermin will be twats who have never been said no to, never had a clout round the ear, and are so used to getting their own way… No thought or respect for others, the fucking cunts….

    • The wife and I went for a short walk around our local park earlier. There’s a toddlers play park there, and guess what; a group of seven teenage scratters were hanging out by the bench, smoking, spitting and acting the cunt.
      These fucking zombies should be tazered in the first instance. I’d like to see cunts like this fed to the fish, but of course that would be against their human rights.

    • The ambulance sabotagers – and, let’s get this right, it’s total chavsqhumbehaviour at any time – should be transported to the Tower, and hanged.

      Surely there’s something about “sabotage” under Emergency Powers ?

  32. Here is an interesting article on coronaviruses or kung flu as the don likes to call it. Explains why it is important to contain it.
    It is a positive RNA virus like the common cold (rhinoviruses)
    It can use the hosts cells ribosome directly to replicate very rapidly.
    The nature of RNA replication is sloppy and can lead to many mutations very quickly hence no cure for the common cold.
    If it finds a mutation that favours its survival i.e. highly aggressive and virulent replication combined with airborne infection through simple respiration, then we are completely fucked.
    There will be no vaccine, only those who avoid it or survive it by chance.
    The more people that catch it the more chance there is for this to happen.
    Isolate and stay safe cunters.

    This makes good sense, but you are admin flagged, we have met before, though you have mentioned “Finds a mutation that favors its survival” Viruses do not have brains, it is Darwin’s theory on successful mutation strains, pity that the fatty wall on this cunt dehydrates in hot climes.

  33. BREAKING NEWS: St Greta of Thunberg has announced from her sick bed that she has contracted the Covid-19 virus! She bravely talks of having a headache, fever and loss of all reasoning! Obviously the flat faced little cunt has just crossed the threshold of puberty! However, she is happy to impart more pearls of wisdom as she spirals rapidly to her long awaited demise!

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/breaking_news/article-8147765/Greta-Thunberg-says-coronavirus-isolating-father.html

    Fuck there is a God!

  34. That disgusting old slag Madogga saying the virus is ‘wonderful’ and is a ‘leveller’…
    This stinking gash would say anything to appear ‘controversial’ and get noticed…
    Typical that she makes something like this all about her….

    I can only hope she goes… Slowly and horribly….

    • Greetings Norm.

      It’s such a shame she turned out this way. Not bad looking in her day. Sexy, provocative and could certainly pen a decent tune. Trouble is, she was too thick to realise her image and music had a certain shelf life, after which it’s better to bow out and leave an impressive legacy. But no, she continued to make ever worse records, continue touring like she was still a teenager and slowly turn into a haggard and bitter old bitch. She’s no longer relevant, hasn’t been for ages and continues to make desperate outbursts like this to remind the rest of us she’s still alive. Pity.

  35. Joined a gliding club and was gonna start this weekend but 2m separation in a canopy would be fatal to one of us.

    • A gliding club sounds awesomely brill. I’ll bet that’s a blast. Hopefully you’ll get to indulge sooner rather than later, General.

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