Michael Turner QC

A cunting for defence barrister, Michael Turner QC.

He is defending Muhammed Rodwan; he is, you may remember, the cunt that took a machete to a police officer who stopped him in his van for suspected driving offences. Turner has introduced the fact that before his shift, PC Stuart Outten sent a text to his girlfriend saying he was, “off to cause trouble”. I’ve told people I’m off to take a customers network down before heading to site; it’s obviously a fucking joke.

Turner is, I assume, trying to say PC Outten was looking for a machete in the head that evening and his client was obviously a victim of police harassment, probably due to institutional racism and, of course, prejudice against Muzlims rampant in the police.

Are we to understand that it’s acceptable to take a lethal weapon to a copper performing a traffic stop?

It’s a pity the cunt wasn’t stopped by armed police who would (I hope) have shot the cunt the moment the machete was seen in the defendants hand. If Turner ever needs the police to save his skin they will show up and save him, I’m sure.

What a piece of work, exploiting what’s obviously a joke text to put doubt in the minds of the woke jury members who will jump at the chance to make the assailant into the victim.

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

Just going to add this on with his previous convictions and what he did.


106 thoughts on “Michael Turner QC

  1. Fuck me another one!
    Whats wi glasses balanced on tip of your beak Mickey?
    You practised that in mirror?
    That your ‘learned intellectual, barrister pose?
    Colour me impressed!👍
    Your a traitor to your country, your race, and your profession.
    Hope youve a lump in yer knackers.
    Toodle oo.

    • Nothing to do with that , miserable, his glasses are simply trying to get as far away from the cunt as they can.

      • Yeah Mog, theyre rejecting him as a foreign object.
        QC? Quëër cunt?
        Quaffs chablis?
        Quintessential chimp?

  2. The law needs to be changed that: to the defend in court traitors against this country is to be in joint enterprise with them, and if those same cunts go on to commit further crimes the defending lawyer suffers the same penalty.

  3. Just look at the remoaning cunt. I could correctly guess his stance on any issue. Free range QC cunt. I’d drop a piano on the fucker.

  4. Good news, mohammed just got sent to prison. Another islamaphobic ‘hate-stat’ for the Left to cry racism over.

  5. Here’s a quote from Sky News:
    A machete attacker has been found guilty of wounding with intent after leaving a police officer with skull fractures and deep gashes to the head.
    PC Stuart Outten, 28, also suffered broken fingers in the attack by handyman Muhammad Rodwan in Leyton, east London, last August.
    Rodwan was found guilty of wounding with intent following a trial at the Old Bailey, but cleared of attempted murder and possession of an offensive weapon. He will be sentenced on Friday.

    So the copper was slashed to buggery, had his fingers broken and the fucking law still cleared the fucker of attempted murder. He was carrying the fucking weapon and was cleared of that too. My head will not compute.

    excuse my tuppence, but since when has a machete been a standard piece of horticultural equipment in the UK, why did he have it? pruning woody rose bushes?

    • Fucking law’s soft. Should be zero tolerance and hang the cunt. Put his head on a pike and beam the images across the world service.

      • I advocate a shoot to kill policy for all terrorists, it tends to remove the problem of re-offending.

    • Every time I go out in my uninsured car to prune my roses a copper gets chopped up – I assumed this was a bad thing but according to the news it’s the coppers fault for putting on arsebook he was going to eat his tea later – clearly a waaycist b*stard!
      Now, about my compensation..

      • I remember my Grannie and Great-Aunt’s collection of D. G. Hessayon gardening books; he always advocated a machete for awkward roses…
        Sadly I haven’t had a machete passed down to me; I think sister or niece got it, along with the engagement ring…

  6. That’s the forker whom brought me a tray of coffees!!!
    Forking baristas.

    QC? Does that stand for quality control?

  7. This rapacious cunt shouldn’t needle in dodgy legal matters and stick to doing a camp twirl on Bargain Hunt.

    • Off Topic
      Millenials are now playing i kid you not ‘woke’ bingo!!😀
      88 (2 fat ladies) is ‘wills an kate’!
      Hehee, Would of thought bingo was too working class for their taste,
      Wonder if everyone wins?
      Be tears if not….

      • Number 23 – Gluten free!
        Number 8 – Vegan selection plate!

        number 8 racial hate
        number 41 Brexit scum
        number 66 sexist pig

        • Hehee? Youve played it then?
          Doubt itll catch on up north, the old girls take it seriously, wont want owt changing!
          Hey that Mickey Qc at top of the nom,
          Looks a bit like Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols?!!

          • Yeah fucking vicious old bags ain’t they!!! Remember my brother in law taking me to a bingo night at railway club when I was about six, I won a round (he had to shout for me, I daren’t) – lucky to get out alive!!! The old cunts were baying for my blood

          • You could have some fun confusing old biddies;

            Eyes down ladies;

            Downing Street Number…3
            Me and you Number…8
            Key of the door…number 28
            Kelly’s eye number… 16
            Al the fours…56
            All the sixes…7
            Doctor’s orders number…78

          • 48= “oooh i feel a bit faint…”
            Number 40 “meat is naughty”
            63 “youve triggered me!”

          • Great joke I remember in one of those Leslie Nielson films. So the lieutenant looking for clues in the room- in the bookcase, under lampshade, along the window ledge…suddenly the drawer in the desk…slowly opens the drawer…bends closer …lifts the card from the drawer….’bingo’ he whispers.

        • Number 5 – Islam’s alive
          Number 7 – Whitey’s gone to heaven.
          Number 24 – Sharia Law.

          • 48 doesn’t rhyme with ‘faint’ Miserable.
            You must have absent the day yer did Poetry!

          • Fuck me I did my time in that arcade when I was a kid. ‘Showboat’. Flicking the replay reel round the back of the pinball machine, and we used to swizz the ‘nudge’ machine as well. This was flicking the buttons flute-like so you would get more than one reel to fall. If you were really good you could get all 3 reels to fall for each nudge. Such excitement it was.
            But through the night yes you would hear it ‘I’m sweating Betty’. And I do distinctly remember they all did have ‘bingo wings’.

          • I’ve nothing against our hook nosed brethren miles, I hate all races equally

          • Forgive my ignorance Miles, but what is anti-semitic about “number 9 Harvey Weinstein”?

          • Ah, I geddit. A nifty reference to Corbyn’s mispronounciation of Jeffrey Epstein’s name as “Epstyne” instead of “Epsteen” to make it sound more Jewish, alledgedly.

            Have to admit I’ve always pronounced it “Epstyne”. Now I know better.

          • 😂 Warrington’s own Bugs Bunny. 😂
            I’m not a big ‘afters’ person but there are profiteroles available should I desire them!
            Just fuckin’ listening to all my Supertramp albums. Fuck me, that group were way ahead of their time, seeing as they’re not far short of having half century old music!

          • Number 6 – egg and chips

            (That’s what we’re having for dinner tonight 👍)

          • I can beat that!
            Sausage, egg & chips!
            Live like kings
            What you having Spoons? Bertie?
            You top that?

          • MNC, I’m having a microwave cheeseburger. I know. I can tell you’re all jealous! 😀

          • As long as you enjoy it mate!👍
            Had your cast off now Spoons?
            Bet it feels good to be rid of it!

            Hey spoons know you like Star Trek, how about Star Wars?

          • Aye MNC.
            I went back to hospital on monday. The cast is off, the plastic velcro boot thing is off.
            My leg us still a bit tender but it’s a lot better now. Thanks. 🙂

            How do? I hope you’re well.
            Salted caramel cake eh? Cor!

            Star wars is OK. I saw the first 3 films and the 3 prequels. I’ve not seen the others.

            I reckon it’s a toss up between James Corden and Dianne Abbot to play Jabba the hut in any future films. What you reckon?

          • Haha think youve nailed it! Ms Abbott for a slightly simple Jabba.
            Glad your healing up ok👌
            Just watched a star wars spin off ‘the Mandoloren’ you might like, better than those last few films.
            Salted caramel cake? ..very tasty😀

          • Mandoloren? Isn’t that the car from the film Back To The Future?
            “Where we’re going we don’t need roads”.

          • WTF is going on here?
            6 does not rhyme with ‘chips’ RTC.
            Today, I have taken the necessary step of enrolling you and Miserable on one of Miles’
            poetry courses. Under his expert tutelage, he will guide you in the finer points of poetry on his 6 week course!

          • Bertie, 22 sounds like the sort of thing posh people like a Tarquin and Cresida would eat with straw that has been trampled on by Tibetan monks. Wash it down with posh wine.

          • Miserable@5.40
            This is getting more like I would imagine a chat room is like! I’m having steak pie, carrots and frites( Mrs B is allowing me to call them ‘chips’ again after Jan 31st!)

          • Just dont like to think your all enjoying better meals than me.
            Like im missing out.
            Eat a lot of carrots dont you?
            Jesus warringtons own bugs bunny!

            Ps any pudding?
            Weve got salted caramel cake!😳

          • Bit cryptic there Cuntan for me. Yes, to do with Jeremy’s pronunciation picked up on by David Baddiel. Yes, on that subject I think it was an anti semitic pronunciation. He didn’t say Weinstein or Wein Stine (rhyme with 9) but crucially WeinShhhtine. The shhh sound. And yes that had a trace of antisemitism.

          • From Educating Rita;

            FRANK: Well, in his poem ‘The Wild Swans At Coole’,Yeats rhymes the word “swan” with the word “stone”. You see? That’s an example of assonance. RITA: Yeah, means getting the rhyme wrong.”

          • No Miserable can use the defense he was using ‘half rhyme’ Bertie. Wilfred Owen uses it in his great poem ‘Strange Meeting’
            I think half- rhyme is when the vowel changes (as in Owen’s poem) assonance where only the consonants change.

          • Thanks Miles! See Bertie?
            Me an Miles instantly understood the narrative.
            Just eat your carrots.

          • @ Miserable

            We’ve already had sausages this week. But having three large (nice runny) free range eggs, so don’t really need anything else. Besides, I like to mash it all up with tons of tomato ketchup, like mummy used to do when I was a kid.

          • Sausages tonight and tomorrow but with cheddar mash and onion gravy,
            Tried kangaroo sausages once Rtc.
            They were rubbish.

          • Very dry i found MNC. Try owt me, had whale, puffin, snake, alligator, horse and of course my patented Cuntan’s Crickets (still time to be in on the ground floor Miserable, 3 grand mates rates). Mrs done a curry tonight, weren’t bad although not as good as mine! 👍

          • Had alligator an water buffalo.
            Rubbish as well.
            Let you know over the crickets my moneys tied up at mo,
            BWC s investing it for me, a great opportunity!
            Giftshop at Grenfell!

          • Good idea. Could sell little replicas like the ones at the Eiffel Tower, tiny blackened ones with flashing red LEDs up the sides and intermittent puffs of smoke out the top? Could double as fried chiggun scented air fresheners?

          • Fuckin’ hell you have to go back a long way to reply to this thread!
            Kangaroo sausages? Take care Miserable,
            I just learned that you can get drunk from Kangaroo meat!

            I’m pretty sure it has something to do with all the hops.

          • Evening Bertie.

            I have taken the necessary step of enrolling you on one of Miles’s poetry courses. Under his expert tutelage he will guide you in the finer points of poetry over the ensuing 6 weeks. 😀

          • Menu: Creampuff Manor… set in stone since the late 1970s:

            Monday – prawn /chicken vindaloo
            Tuesday – pork sausages, baked beans & chips
            Wednesday – mince beef masala with broccoli & mashed potatoes
            Thursday – egg & chips /or pizza
            Friday – fish in batter, peas n’ mash /or chicken kievs & cauliflower cheese
            Saturday – spaghetti bolognese
            Sunday – toast & marmalade…

            Afters: ice cream /custard with treacle tart /chocolate sponge pudding. The occasional cheesecake…

          • Fit for a prince Ruff. Fitting really as Harry will probably be a deliveroo driver in a years time

          • Sunday toast and marmalade?
            Bloody hell RTC, if you need a loan, just let me know! I wouldn’t want you going to one of these food Banks!

          • Oh no I assumed that Ruff, merely taking the opportunity to rip on prince twatface. I do 90% of the cooking in the Cuntarian household, I enjoy it

          • It’s one reason why sleb chefs utterly piss me off; they seem to have convinced the fuckwitted masses that cooking is in some way difficult, and the ability to do so warrants praise worthy of the baby Jeebus. Utter bullshit, and while the efforts of a top chef are obviously going to be of a superior standard to those of most home cooks it is not a night-and-day difference. Cunts who say things like “I couldn’t boil an egg, me!” want flogging with a knotted rope

          • Didn’t Willie Stroker used to pick them up for you on his moped Creampuff? Being tasered by the police after being mistaken for one of those phone snatching moped muggers put a stop to that.

      • Snowflake bingo – yeay!
        Number 1 – England’s done (snowflakes)
        Number 2 – Hate the Jew (Jeremy)
        Number 3 – smells of wee (House of Lords)
        Number 4 – White girl whore (Islam)
        Number 5 – Leave the dive! (Any Muslim Country)
        Number 6 – Knives not sticks (Muslim drivers)
        Number 7 – Straight to Heaven (Just take a few innocent kids with you)
        Number 8 – Whitey hate (Every snowflake)
        Number 9 – Loser? Whine (remoaners)
        Number Ten – Clueless Men (Take your pick)
        Bingo? – no, under Jones Law it is now known as “WOKO”!
        And prizes given out by “Braying barrage balloon” James Corden! “Bwexit, Trump, waaycists, whitey”! – No, not you Nish, fuckoff!
        “First prize – a Years worth of pork pies”
        “What do you mean they’ve disappeared and fat cunt Corden has gone too – follow the trail of f*cking crumbs”!

  8. The sheer volume of offences, driving with no insurance, possession of a deadly weapon, ABH, attempted murder, assault on a member of the emergency services
    and what.
    Joking aside a colleague took a lot of shit from a group of home boys a while back, in the end he flipped, knocked the shit out of one, stripped him naked, drove him out onto some waste ground and said “now I am going to kill you” (but didn’t) and left him there.
    He got a life tariff (because he was deemed to be a dangerous individual) a good lawyer probably could have pulled his service record, PTSD and the fact the fuckers were taunting him.
    oh and he is gamon

  9. Most coppers are filth, hence their nickname.

    Just watch them on the TV chasing down scrotes in VWs and Audis and playing with themselves while doing it.

    If you’re a pig you’re going to have to roll in some shit so fuck him, fuck the criminals and fuck the lawyers too.

    • That’s ridiculously simplistic. There are crooked people in all professions who abuse their power. To say most policeman are corrupt is absolute nonsense. Fuck you and fuck your stupid juvenile attitude.

        • If your mum gets raped by a gang of machete-wielding mohammeds who are you going to run to for help? Yeah, when you want to someone else to put their safety in danger it’s the police. Consider that and you might afford people doing an increasingly dangerous job, with increasingly scant resources and lack of support from a PC hierarchy, some respect.

          I would find your ‘all police are scum’ rhetoric edgy if I was about 12.

  10. QCs, eh? When they’re not persuading us that sweet, kind Mubarek didn’t mean to be carrying a home-made bomb and should be returned to society immediately, they’re dressing up in kimonos and brutally murdering foxes.

    • Barristers? Estate agents with rich Parents and less morals.
      Carrying a machete in your uninsured motor? – Perfectly normal!
      Trying to hack a coppers head off when stopped? – Perfectly normal!
      Slimy 500 quid an Hour bastard pulls the race card, dangerous maniac gets a pathetic sentence and whichever talking head is in charge of the Police excuses department can explain to a Commons Committee in five Years time why this Man was released to commit murder? – perfectly normal!
      Being made to stand impotently by whilst our children are r*ped and murdered whilst our authorities apologise to the perpetrators? – Perfectly normal!
      Being constantly accused of waaycism etc for having an opinion? – Perfectly normal!
      Being undermined, diminished and ostracised in our own Country? – Perfectly normal!
      Demonised for being white, poor, Male or straight? – perfectly normal!
      Nothing to see here, obviously!
      Heard an unpleasant rumour from a contact in Londonistan that a certain “OJ”, who is not a retired NFL player is organising a protest involving a bunch of “not light people” to cause some malice at the Brexit leaving party being organised in London by The leave alliance, I presume the Police are aware of this and will treat any of this brownshirt beer keller behaviour with the “robustness” it deserves.
      No, I don’t think so either, but a quick heads up – there is mischief being planned at that event.

  11. Examples of half rhymes

    Strange Meeting

    It seemed that out of battle I escaped
    Down some profound dull tunnel, long since scooped
    Through granites which titanic wars had groined.
    Yet also there encumbered sleepers groaned,
    Too fast in thought or death to be bestirred.
    Then, as I probed them, one sprang up, and stared
    With piteous recognition in fixed eyes,
    Lifting distressful hands, as if to bless.
    And by his smile, I knew that sullen hall,—
    By his dead smile I knew we stood in Hell.
    With a thousand fears that vision’s face was grained;
    Yet no blood reached there from the upper ground,
    And no guns thumped, or down the flues made moan.
    “Strange friend,” I said, “here is no cause to mourn.”
    “None,” said that other, “save the undone years,
    The hopelessness. Whatever hope is yours,
    Was my life also; I went hunting wild
    After the wildest beauty in the world,
    Which lies not calm in eyes, or braided hair,
    But mocks the steady running of the hour,
    And if it grieves, grieves richlier than here.
    For by my glee might many men have laughed,
    And of my weeping something had been left,
    Which must die now. I mean the truth untold,
    The pity of war, the pity war distilled.
    Now men will go content with what we spoiled.
    Or, discontent, boil bloody, and be spilled.
    They will be swift with swiftness of the tigress.
    None will break ranks, though nations trek from progress.
    Courage was mine, and I had mystery;
    Wisdom was mine, and I had mastery:
    To miss the march of this retreating world
    Into vain citadels that are not walled.
    Then, when much blood had clogged their chariot-wheels,
    I would go up and wash them from sweet wells,
    Even with truths that lie too deep for taint.
    I would have poured my spirit without stint
    But not through wounds; not on the cess of war.
    Foreheads of men have bled where no wounds were.

    “I am the enemy you killed, my friend.
    I knew you in this dark: for so you frowned
    Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed.
    I parried; but my hands were loath and cold.
    Let us sleep now. . . .”

  12. Just listening to the report on the news now, this Cunt has form for attacking people with a knife/machete……

    The footage of the attack and look on the fucker face, what a cunt, a policeman stops you in broad daylight and the first reaction is to pull out a machete ….. no wonder us white boys are racist!

    How did the cunt afford a ‘Top Barrister’

    • Legal aid.
      Broke? No legal aid.
      Fit in the “PC” tick box?, “Unmale” gender?, “Non white face”?, not a f*cking clue what they/she/it is slef identifying as? Five hundred quid an hour Barrister on legal aid.
      I am 100% with Shakespeare on Lawyers.

    • He didn’t, but we probably did. What a piece of filth. As for the jury, shower of Cunts.
      Get To Fuck.

  13. You just live in hope that cunts like this who defend the indefensible inadvertently get caught up in an incident involving pond life like the vermin he serves. To cunts like him, getting a favourable result defending these wankers must be like a little game to them, they get paid either way, but it’s innocent people who pay the real price when the scrotes get out, with fuck all in the way of punishment.
    As for the cunt with the machete, long drop, short rope, fuck him.

  14. Gas the smug cunt with glasses.
    Gas the dark key cunt.
    Gas the fucking jury just to make sure.
    Fuck me this country is a shambles and a disgrace.
    Get to Fuck.

  15. What a fuckin Turd, I can only hope that the kitchen staff at his favorite restaurant all provide the following to his food, Knob Cheese, shit coated Arse Hair, Duck Meat (the foul smelling stuff from in between you toes) and a good old shot of Jizz.!

  16. The cunt didn’t get done for carrying an offensive weapon because he claims to be a “handyman.” He’s also got a previous conviction for wounding (also using a machete……quite the handyman eh?) and rape.
    I hope the pathetic libtards on that jury are proud of themselves. Cunts.

    • Did you see a photo of the cunt? What a feral, missing link, Grenfell compo fiddling (probably) enricher he looked too. He wont be spreading diversity in the neighbourhood of Michael Turner QC.

  17. I’m currently writing down all the important things in my life that I really need to get round to doing, but I just can’t be bothered.
    It’s my FUCK IT list….

    • Jesus JR stick to your own stuff!
      You borrowed Bertie Blunts joke book havent you?😀

  18. Rabelais went to town on lawyers *”furred lawcats” as he called them. Nothing’s changed. You get the justice you pay for…who pays wins. Morals don’t come into it.
    Incidentally I see Assange’s extradition hearing’s been stalled again. Lots of loot being trousered there by m’learned friends….whose?

  19. I’d hang the cunt from a lampost, by the bollocks, with chicken wire. Traitorous, smug cunt. My piss could ignite a star it’s so super heated

  20. During the recent period of heavy rain my shed roof started leaking, so I’d just like to take the opportunity to thank my neighbour who lent me a large, heavy duty, waterproof sheet.
    Ta Pauline….

  21. I am at a loss for words.
    How can you attack someone with a machete FFS and expect NOT to kill them?
    Apparently, this parasite has form for attacking someone- with a machete (but we couldn’t have let the jury know this; it would clearly be racist)….
    Blow the cunt from a cannon.
    Electrocute the Judge.
    Gas the jury.
    Machine gun the shitbag QC.
    Sweep up all the remains with a JCB and feed the cunts to the pigs.
    Next case please (I’ll preside over this one- no need for defence lawyers/jury. I’ve got it covered. Now, where’s my black cap…..)

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