Lawyers (2)

Forget the ‘Rumpole’ idea of a lawyer being a cuddly old rogue with a tattered wig, half moon glasses and a liking for foul-smelling cheap cigars, Wordsworth and Pomeroy Wine Bar´s house champagne. Even the lowest of the low, crackhead, child molester is a pillar of virtue compared with lawyers, most of whom sleep in coffins and flee in terror at the whiff of a clove of garlic.

Opinionated, corrupt, mercenary, inhuman, parasitical are only a few of the adjectives that spring to mind in relation to this abject bunch of bloodsuckers who have been around forever and are everywhere.

From the bullying ‘Jaggers’ in “Great Expectations”, who lets poor orphan ‘Pip’ delude himself that crazy old bat ‘Miss Haversham’ is grooming him to become a gentleman and get his sweaty hands on nymphet ‘Estella’, to showman Johnnie Cochran, who used racist smear tactics to free O.J. Simpson from the electric chair after he had slaughtered his wife, they are a disgrace to the human race.

They love the publicity and delight in defending the indefensible.

Remember that creepy little Frenchman ‘Maitre’ Jacques Verges from the 80s whose “clients” included Nazi Klaus Barbie, terrorist Carlos the Jackal and Khmer Rouge boss Khieu Samphan?

Still they don´t always get their own way as shown in the Netflix series on the Ukranian mass murderer known as Ivan the Terrible. His lawyer so enraged Israelis that he had acid thrown into his face by a Holocaust survivor.

Surely the time comes for some honesty with scum who are blatantly guilty?

“Yes your honour. My client is a disgusting piece of shit who committed all these crimes. He does not regret them in the slightest and wishes he could get off, but realises he can´t as he was filmed in the act. Therefore, I don´t intend wasting your time with excuses and am placing him at your mercy. It doesn´t really matter to me as I´ll get paid anyway. Oh, by the way, I intend appealing anyway to spin this circus out even longer”.

Nominated by Mr Polly

29 thoughts on “Lawyers (2)

  1. Beautiful cunting Mr P. Genuinely don’t know how some of these cunts sleep at night, obviously with due process, fair trials etc. the sc*m do need legal representation – but I personally could not stand up and defend some piece of shite I knew for a fact had diddled children and such. And I have the morals of a particularly lairy alley cat

  2. Why couldn’t these creatures have become something useful in life like an engineer, a doctor or a Royal rather than the parasitic low life they are, destined to feed on other people’s misery for an entire career. One glimpse of those in Parliament will confirm that they are indeed, a subhuman species.

  3. Having the misfortune to have met quite a few socially I am able to confirm they are indeed a pack of rats.
    And massive ego cunts also.
    Get fucked.

  4. I remember when in court, I asked my barrister if he could help me with my case.
    He went out and came back with a tray of coffees.
    It turns out he was a barista.

  5. They are a necessary evil. I think the issue of ethics and morality is missing from their code, and that there should be a separate set of rules for defence against the plainly indefensible.

    Tough call.

  6. Utter scum. Scum who use their education to ferret out any and all flaws in a system in order to break it.
    It’s astonishing that they have abandoned any moral standing, but I don’t think the human elements of their work have relevance for them on any level at all. It’s probably not even about the money. I think they are simply chasing the buzz from mocking the concept of justice legally and openly.
    They are the arch enemies of decency.

  7. Duckers and divers, pondlife,
    Even vultures and rats won’t feed on them, flies wipe their feet after landing on them and maggots get gippy tummies when feasting on them.
    Dirty fuckers,, liars to a man, although have put money in my pocket,
    But didnt shake their hands didnt have gloves on.

  8. A bit unfair to say that all lawyers are Cunts. Several members of my Rugby Club and my Hunt are lawyers/solicitors and we would never allow the “wrong types” to become members.The lawyers/solicitors could no more be referred to as ” Cunts” than the rest of us.

    Fuck Off.

  9. Ambulance chasing, obfuscating, Yewman rights upholding (usually rapists and/or terrorists) pettifogging cunts.
    I asked my conveyancing solicitor some years ago why he charged £70 for a letter. He said that was what it cost.
    I pointed out that his property overheads and typist’s salary were fixed and the cost was actually the paper. Answer came there none.
    The cunt.

  10. All the biggest cunts in politics are usually ex lawyers too

    There’s audio of Hillary Clinton laughing about virtually getting a man in his 40s off after molesting a 12 year old from years ago.

  11. I’ve been up in court a couple of time for reasons I won’t go into just now, but one of them did involve Demi Moore and revenge porn, and a talented amoral lawyer is mana from heaven when your balls are in the noose.

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