Hollywood

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A cunting please for Hollywoke. Sorry, I mean Hollywood. ‘Woke’ Hollywood.

To demonstrate what Hollywood has become, consider two of the worst flops in recent history – Terminator: Dark Fate and Charlie’s Angels.

A quick plot synopsis for both films:

Terminator Dark Fate:
Before the opening credits are finished, a T-800 appears, bursting in on a CGI-rejuvenated Sarah and John Connor and proceeds to kill John Connor. Just like fucking that. The entire reason for the 35-year Terminator franchise is erased within moments of the film starting. Next we see the androgenous shemale terminator (good) and an Apple store employee lookalike liquid terminator (bad) appear from the future to hunt down the saviour of humankind because it turns out that it wasn’t John. It was actually a Mexican schoolgirl meaning we can justify the erasure of the leading white man from the story. Androgenous thing and the Apple genius beat each other silly across various locations until a wrinkled Linda Hamilton appears and we basically get a cut price, shite version of T2 for the next 80mins, including the revelation that the murderous T-800 from the opening (Arnie) has reprogrammed himself to settle with a family and called himself ‘Carl’. What a fucking spectacular tapestry of wank.

Charlie’s Angels
A reboot of a 2001 remake of a 1970s TV show, this atrocity features Kristin Stewart as Mouthbreather, some enormous black woman as Gigantor and a few other trollops randomly beating the living shit out of anyone bad, all of whom by utter coincidence turn out to be white men. This includes ol’ slaphead thesp Captain Pickard who is one of three – fucking THREE – Bosleys in this film. Elizabeth Banks directs and ‘stars’ in this flowing stream of raw sewage and has been screaming loudly about how “men don’t want to see women in action films”.

These abominations neatly encapsulate the state of cinema right now – largely bereft of ideas, no common sense, no focus on scriptwriting and a tendency to pay attention to a vocal minority on Twatter for digital back pats – yet these self-same social media blue check marks aren’t the ones actually paying to see these films, leaving an audience of regular people totally put off by the virtuous bollocks within.

Instead of the modern trend of forced casting women as the archetypal Mary Sue perfect conquistadors, consider how iconic characters like Ellen Ripley (Alien/s) and the original Sarah Connor were developed: deep characters with relatable flaws and vulnerabilities, which made them the engaging action heroines of their day.

This Thursday I am going to see Le Mans ’66. I wouldn’t have normally bothered, but the uproar from the aforementioned SJW cunts about the lack of both gender and ethnic ‘diversity’ means the film must be doing something right. Fuck off Hollywood, and take the figurative and literal cunts with you.

You should be a film critic

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

86 thoughts on “Hollywood”

  1. Just call it cuntwood

    I notice a complete lack of cultural diversity in Bollywood films but no one gives a fuck, they just get on with it and enjoy it. Next they will be telling me women footballers want to be paid the same as men….,oh hang on those septics already are…fuck wankwood. In thirty years LA will have no water left and it will be fucked up good and proper, sadly I won’t be around to see it.

    • Great Cunting & thanks for the recommendation on Le Mans ’66 (sounds like my king of movie).
      Anyone know if Ford vs Ferrari was any good ?

      • I bet some women will be cheesed of it’s called Le Mans and not La Woman’s haha.

        Hang on a minute. You can’t spell the words woman and woman without the words man or men in it. I bet SJW’s and other grumpy women are cheesed off 😀

  2. Expect lots of reboots from old classics: it’s already happened of course, but Hollywood is so bankrupt of fresh ideas that it is prepared to jump on any old bandwagon, the latest of which of course is all things woke!

    But as we saw in the election yesterday, the People (the REAL People!) spoke, and gave all the woke, virtue-signalling, libtard cunts a right royal kick in the bollocks/cunt, and basically saying “Enough is fucking enough!”

    And I suspect the same will happen with Hollywoke – REAL People will get mightily pissed off with having this shit shoved down their throats. And this will hopefully affect boxoffice returns, and with it merchandising, streaming rights, subscriptions to Netflix and Amazon etc. People will just not bother unless things even out and offer more “normal” choice.

    I guess it all depends on the next US election – if Trump wins again then hopefully Hollywoke will just become a passing fad; but if a Democunt wins, then God help us!

    • We’ve already got cunts in London protesting, “Boris is not my PM” “Ignore the vote” etc. What the fuck, I despair

      • No real surprise as they’re going through the denial stage.

        They’re just after the attention. Give it a week or two and they’ll fuck off back to watching Jeremy Kyle and claiming their benefits.

  3. Woke and the Twatter mob has been crushed here. Expect the same over the pond in 2020. Then we can get back to reality and women’s bird bones can put the kettle on rather than kickarse. Cunts

  4. Hollyweird is stuck for fresh ideas, the coke addled self congratulating ego maniacs have no imagination, so reboot a hit film with a female in the lead role?💤
    I like films, when a film is creative, well acted, good plot, funny etc but im struggling to think of anything recent ive wanted to watch? Or looked forward to watching? Cant think of anything!
    Last film i enjoyed was hateful 8.
    Hollyweird is dried up like Harvey Weinsteins cock.

    • Morning Miserable, its a struggle isn’t it? The men are emasculated snowflake pussies and the women are bolshie harridans with plots and scripts that are regurgitated leftie causes dressed up as entertainment.

      • Morning mate,
        Freddy the frog mentioned ‘zulu’ on here the other day, a bank holiday favourite, welsh regiment holding of hoardes of zulu warriors at Rourkes drift winning victoria crosses and showing the bravery of the british army.
        Never make that now!
        If they remake zulu it’ll be abiut the evils of colonialism and imperialism.
        Told from the zulus viewpoint.

      • Yes, & reparations are now due. Those poor Zulu lads, with only a grass skirt & blunt spear against nasty whitey’s rifles. Obviously whitey had kept them down & scratching about in the filth for thousands of years before the Boer War, otherwise THEY would have had rifles & clothes too.

    • Several last times I go up to the cinema to see if anything new is out, the screen shows 15-20 titles, none of them have interested me in the slightest.

      Endlessly rehashed themes and the same old bullshit superheroes, (how many fucking episodes and reincarnations of spiderman are actually necessary?); incredible (not in a good sense) Computer Graphics; all delivered in a relentless succession of thunderclaps and rolling growling rrumbling sound effects, the whole fricking disaster experienced from the dubious comfort of a warm, damp, sticky and rather unhygienic old cushion.

      And one for the myth busters; how often in a movie does someone fall off a cliff only to be captured at the last instant by a hand flung in aid. Try it anyone try it, not in a million fucking years, except three-four times per Hollywood woke-buster.

      Then, how long can a fist fight go on in a basement car-park, or a cable car, I mean just snot the cunt hard first hit and get it over with.

      Also, when you’ve knocked the baddie senseless, tie him up properly and get all sharp objects out of his reach; or just put a bullet in his skull for fucksake.

      • Don’t forget that bullets taken to shoulder/hip/waist etc. can be absorbed infinitely with no pain or effect on ability to jump out of 10th-storey windows, handbrake-turn cars etc. A quick wince of pain is all they will cause.

      • Fucken eh! A bullet to the shoulder is surely a grievous injury, there’s smashed bone, punctured lung, shattered arteries. Then they get up and continue as before with the fist fight/firing 50cal machine gun from the hip etc.

  5. Can’t say that it’ll bother me whatever “woke” remakes they produce. I haven’t been to the cinema since Jaws came out in 1975 and since reading about the appalling scandal involving Harvey Winestein I’ve vowed never to return….that poor man.

    • Well if they ever want to remake Jaws, I’m sure Flabbott could easily fit the bill playing the 3 ton shark!

      • The Flabbott in a shark suit – with the fins on back-to-front & the teeth in upside-down?

      • I’d prefer to see her in “Basic Instinct”…..I’ve often wondered if she has a clit-ring the size of the one that I put through the bull’s snout.

      • Doing the Sharon Stone?
        Crossing her legs wi no knickers on?

        “Clean up in aisle 3!”

    • Morning Fiddler, relief at the Towers as Corbyn’s boot boys wont be repatriating colonial artefacts from the Fiddler Amber Room and grand library back to Africa and the Far East? They might also have found the Christmas carollers from last year and the elderly ramblers who asked for directions currently locked up in the cellar.

    • Cracking film Jaws!
      Robert shaws character Quint being one of my favourite characters in any film!
      Nowadays itd be toxic masculinity😞
      Heres to swimming with one legged wimmin!😀

      • Scared the shit out of me when I watched Jaws as a kid back in 75/76 – especially that head popping out from the hole in that half-submerged boat!

        But you’re right: if it was remade today, it wouldn’t have three blokes hunting the shark, it would be 2 lezzer black wimminz, and the token hipster!

        oh, and they wouldn’t be hunting the shark, they would be protecting it as an endangered species, with lots of libtard protesters on the beach giving the major and all the beastly sexist fishermen a hard time

      • “Hey whiteboy! Step away from the fish…
        Police chief jessica Brody
        Jaws the reboot

      • From now on, the next time I watch Jaws I can’t help but imagine Quint going down on Flabbott the shark!

        Just imagine that while eating your brekkie!

      • The missus was at a do the other night. So it was just me and man’s best friend, beer, crisps and Jaws.
        A very pleasant evening.
        Morning MNC.

      • Morning Jack!
        I like the bit where theyre having a drink, an a laugh, an then Quints telling em about the USS Indianapolis, chilling!
        Robert Shaw was a fine actor.

      • I love Jaws. When it came out the queue at the pictures stretched right around the block.
        Modern films are invariably shite.
        Although ‘ Joker ‘ with Joaquin Phoenix is a good one.
        ‘ Mother ‘ 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      • Shaw was definitely old school and hardcore!

        He was brilliant in Jaws, but was also exceptionally good in “A Man for All Seasons” and “Sting”, “Taking of Pelham 123” and “And From Russia With Love”

        Despite being a heavy drinker and womaniser, as well as associating with fellow actors/pissheads in Richard Harris and Richard Burton, he was extremely polite, civil and quite well educated. But by the same token he never suffered fools gladly, and was built like a brick shit house.

        He did Jaws mostly for the money due to tax problems; but even in that film he had that aura of “don’t fuck with me!” about him.

        Great actor, who would shit on the likes of Brad Shit, Leonardo Arsehole and Will Shit

      • Thats brilliant Spoons! Hehehe!
        Made me laugh, ‘dickie drypuss’!
        “How about I eat the shark?”😂

      • I don’t know whu but “Cacadian-cacocuss!” had me in stitches. 😀

        The other mickey takes by them are hilarious. The dark knight, alien, iron man. Haha 😀
        The guy being H.R Geiger is spot on.

      • Agreed
        Jaws was fucking brilliant , Robert shaw stole the show with his brilliant portrayal of quint , the second film was just okay and by the time we got to jaws3 it was time to say goodbye!! , but tinsel town would skin a turd for a farthing so we get jaws 19!! , apparently the sharks now terrorising the beaches of the Baltic Sea , hunted and killed it returns in spectral form ? , NO I’m not kidding, I’ve heard there’s even another jaws where the shark starts STALKING widow Ellen brody? I presume it just swims around outside her house unless of course it’s grown a set of lungs , pair of legs, and it’s passed it’s driving test as no cunt walks anywhere in America…….
        WTF!!
        Talk about flogging a dead horse!!
        This franchise was tinned dog meat after 2

      • The very same, Q old son. Jaws 3-D was a veritable shit sandwich; so bad that I think it’s become a bit of a cult classic these days.

      • Dennis Quaid was out acted by a mechanical rubber shark
        I saw about 10 minutes of that film
        I want those ten minutes back…..

      • Yep, I went to see Jaws 3D at the cinema when I was little!! Severed arms floating at you out of the screen, fucking loved it when I was 7!! Total dogshit now as you say. Surely everyone’s seen “Jaws: The Revenge” (and I’m not making this up) with Michael Caine, wherein the shark has a fucking PERSONAL VENDETTA against the surviving Brody family and comes after them?? There’s a bit where the shark leaps out of the water and roars at them.. known for that are Great Whites. It reputedly prompted Michael Caine to say when asked about it “I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.” Got to respect that!!

      • Couldn’t agree more MNC. Played brilliantly by Robert Shaw, who was born in Westhoughton. “Here lies the body of Mary Lee, she lived to the age of a hundred and three!! For fifteen years she kept her virginity!!…not a bad record for this vicinity.” The Indianapolis monologue as well ( which Shaw wrote ), fucking ace.

      • Exactly sir Talbot! Like it when he says to Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss)
        “Lemme see those hands Hooper”
        Apparently them didnt get on during filming!
        A great actor.

      • If I recall correctly, Dreyfuss was a young buck film actor, and Shaw very much old school And I think their personalities clashed on-set.

        But you only had to compare and contrast the two pairs of hands to notice how Shaw could quite easily eat Dreyfuss and shit him out without too much fuss!

      • Theres a Robin Hood film called Robin &Marion that i love, Sean Connery as a aged Robin, Audrey Hepburn is Marion and Robert Shaw the sheriff of Nottingham.
        Shaw plays it great as always.
        Its one of my go to films on a rainy sunday.

      • Shaw was ace in ‘The Sting’ as well, and a memorable Bond villain in ‘From Russia With Love’. Anybody recall him in ‘The Buccaneers’ on the telly back in the 60s?

  6. I like how this kind of shit flies in the face of reality. I work in a male-dominated engineering profession, there have been a few women who have ventured into it & in my experience always been welcomed & assisted, just as a bloke would have been. And they have been shit & not able to cut it, except 1 who was averagely acceptable but more like a bloke than most of us. My point is that there will always be a gender divide & we need to accept it – there may be some blurring at the edges where they meet, but by & large it’s the way it is.
    Whenever I see these women doing the blokes role shit, I always think of Stan wanting to have a baby in The Life Of Brian (‘Judean Peoples Front – Wankers!)
    Now there’s a film worth watching.

    • Fuck sake.
      Something on news about miss World competition, miss England?
      Some ram jam called muckerjee!
      A speccy ethnic cornershop type.
      Depressed now😢

      • I thought Miss World was banned for sending out all the wrong signals that don’t meet the Woke tick-box criteria?

      • Its definitely not the glamorous wolfwhistling show from the 70s!
        Looked more like the queue for aid packages in red cross tent.

      • Perhaps it should be renamed “Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss/It World” for fear of causing great offence

  7. I have a film script idea. The film will star me and Justin Bieber. Props: Tub of Haggen Daz ice cream,hotel room,do not disturb sign…

    • Perhaps you could call it ” Close Encounters of the Turd Kind”?

      Morning,you appalling man.

  8. Expect some Clint Eastwood reboots:-

    Dirty Harriet
    The Outlaw Judy Wales
    A Purseful of Credit Cards
    The Good, The Bad and the Ugly Sexist Man
    Where Great Tits Dare
    Two Dildos for Sister Sara
    Muff Rider

    (Can’t believe Clint is 89 years old!)

  9. It’s same on television in the UK, for the claimed percentage of minorities in the country , there is a much higher percentage on the TV.

    • Apparently, also in the 17th and 18th Centuries, there were loads of ethnics living in England. I’m glad that TV can help me understand the history of my country better. Oh, and now we also apparently have a “far right” Government who are going to mandate kitten culling, make children sleep on hospital floors, and bring back work-houses. Thanks TV, I never knew all these things.

    • Rubbish. I live in Leicester and I demand that TV consists of uneducated, aggressive, unemployed, knife-carrying wôgs, eastern Europeans and left-wing rich cunts that believe that anybody that’s white, apart from them, of course, is a fucking thick, useless, racist, sexist, mouse-ist, cunt who should just die. Does that cover it? I’m pissed so I don’t care.

  10. The only time you can enjoy films like Jaws,Rocky, lock stock, Italian job is when the Mrs is shopping, as far as the newer stuff goes Oceans 9,Ghost busters3 I rest my case it’s all bollocks,.
    Oh hang on I just heard a car pull up ( here she comes to wreck the day)….

  11. Off point….
    sorry I missed all of yesterday due to staying up all night watching the quislings getting decapitated !
    If some cunt could edit it down to a hours highlights they should put it on comedy gold for eternity!!
    Bercow on the cusp of crying
    Joined by basin haired sky cunt Beth rigby who looked like she had swallowed a dog turd , Huw Edwards having the appearance of a man who had just been told his family had died in a plane crash!
    But that’s nothing compared to watching the daft cunt swinson who’s faux bravado had disappeared when summoned to the stage for her reckoning, instead of getting the keys to no 10 her head ended up in a basket!
    Better still and my personal favourite on a night of payback was ISAC favourite flip flopping fop doddle homeboy Chuka Umunna who was so busy talking bollocks he missed being called to the podium to receive his medicine!! , the teller hadn’t even noticed the useless cunt wasn’t on the podium and started calling out the results!! Cue umunna running across the stage just in time to hear he had lost!! Absolutely fucking priceless! Comedy gold …….

      • Kryten: “Sir you are a smerrrr heeeee!”

        Rimmer: “A smer hee?”

        Kryten: “A complete and total one!”
        😀

  12. I watched The Irishman t’other day. Scorsese’s latest flick as a swan-song for Deniro, Pacino and Pesci (Keitel and others also make an appearance).

    It’s brutal, well acted, no BAME characters shoe-horned in out of place for the sake of it, no woke feminazis, and not a tranny or flake in sight!

    Which is quite amazing considering it’s a Netflix production.

    It’s quite a long film but worth a watch.

    Some of the shit coming out of Hollywoke is truly awful and the critics are just as bad. Rotten Tomatoes giving shit like Charlie’s Angels and Terminator Geriatrics big vote ups (for their wokeness) while fans give them floor hugging ratings, and the reverse being true for the likes of the Joker film (which I haven’t seen yet).

    These critics are just like Jezzas London bubble cunts: they live in their little group-think echo chambers and then are amazed when the wider public don’t see things in the same way as their skewed view.

    And of course they – the minority of opinion – are still right aren’t they.

    That’s because they’re all cunts and every time they get a kicking in the polls or at the box office, it makes me grin like a Cheshire fucking cat!

    Cunts!

    • Saw it Netflix last week….
      Good film
      Weird shit with all the age changing graphics used …..
      Goodfellas still my favourite…..

  13. Great cunting ECB. I havent been to the cinema this year as it’s all nonsense. My taste in films means there’s very little on Netflix either. There are almost no classics apart from the aforementioned Jaws.

    A great deal of films that our generation of silly adults refer to as ‘classics’ such as Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and the Goonies are kiddy films and do not stand up to repeat viewing. I saw the Goonies a couple of months ago and it is actively shite.
    I’ds rather watch Taxi Driver and Chinatown, or Bullit.

    • Chinatown beautifully acted film and a cracking script that’s all you need and the lovely Faye Dunnaway (top totty by a mile)

  14. Thank you fellow cunters. The great cuntings just go on and on; IsAC is indeed an island of sanity in a world going mad.
    Hollywood’s fucked these days by twin diseases; an infestation of ‘wokeness’ with the likes of Streep, Penn and Thompson in the virtue-signalling vanguard, and almost total brain death when it comes to creative thinking. Hence the endless sequels, re-boots and ‘re-imagining’ of older films. Trouble is, you’ve got to lay much of the blame for the latter curse at the punters’ door. You wouldn’t get trash like ‘Ocean’s 8’ and ‘Spider-man 15’ if people weren’t paying to see it.
    Ultimately, it’s all about the bottom line for studio suits in Hollywood. My film-watching is almost exclusively confined to European and Latin American films these days; there’s some tremendous stuff being made if you dig it out.

  15. I don’t go to the cinema at all as it’s always full of mohammeds or other assorted cunts.
    I think I will enjoy the new Terminator as it sounds so woeful as to be a real treat.
    Think Hollywood? Think Fuck Off.

  16. What the fuck today’s snowflakes would make of blazing saddles? Fucking make their snowflake heads implode.
    I pissed myself laughing. Does that make me the next Fuhrer?

    • I’ve had this futile argument with cunts online, they can’t grasp that Blazing Saddles is an ANTI-racism film; “but-but-but they use THE N-WORD!” Fucking morons

      • “I hired you people to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

        That line right there would cause an sjw meltdown of epic proportions.

        Fucking hilarious film and taken so out of context.

      • The concept of irony goes completely over the heads of these humourless ‘woke’ fuckers Cuntan. Sadly you’re wasting your time mate.

      • Even Cleavon Little (the black sheriff from the film), along with Richard Pryor, another black Hollywood actor, came out in defence of the film and said it was very much an anti-racist film, otherwise Little would have never have signed up to play the role!

  17. Spot-on cunting! Right up my street. I think even the powers that be in Hollywood now recognise that this woke shite will tank a film, but they are genuinely willing to accept that because they daren’t speak out against the Feminazis!!

    “Oh yes this work of genius, wherein we’ve re-imagined (a phrase in itself worth a cunting) the 1985 film “Commando” but instead of Arnie Schwarzenegger going on a bloody killing rampage it now stars Emma Thompson as a single mother who struggles with repression from the Evil Straight White Men in the workplace, while single-handedly trying to raise her mixed-race ADHD-afflicted brood of children. When the Chinese-looking trans-gender one is kidnapped she is forced to embark on a brutal mission to the female wellness centre to get they back, before slaying the evil Weinstein overlord in his lair.” *

    I watched a French film the other week called “Revenge”; amazing reviews, touted as a hard-edged thriller. Turns out it’s a load of woke shite that makes I Spit On Your Grave look like The Godfather Part 2; every single man is literally a beer-swilling Bro-type who tries to rape the brave heroine at every turn; when she eventually gets free she goes from meek victim to rampaging killer that would make the SAS shit themselves (turns our being raped has the side-effect of giving you instant training in the use of high-powered sniper rifles). Absolute and utter garbage, aimed at woke bitches and soy cuckolded men trying to get into their knickers.

    * In fact fuck you lot, I’m starting work on a script for this this afternoon, and off to Hollywood to make a fortune! See ya yer cunts!!!!

  19. It’s a long time since I was interested in anything coming out of Hollywood. A producer will say “Ok give me a screenplay, anything will do so long as it’s got a beginning, a middle and an end. Write a script which explains everything to death so the dumb fucks in the audience know what’s happening. Throw in two or three well-known actors, leave the marketing to us, and there you go, another blockbuster.”
    A couple of recent films I would recommend if you like this sort of thing, one is ‘Luz’ (2018), a horror/mystery from Germany, and ‘Bliss’ (2019), a good vampire film which is a rarity.

  20. I remember being taken to the pictures for the first time to see a Jaws 1 and 2 double feature I was four years old and my brother was six , fuck knows what our parents were thinking ? No wonder we’re a pair of sea shy cunts . Thanks to liberalism today’s films are cunt.

  21. Last great movie made was No Country for Old Men and that is now over 10 years ago. Fucking love Jaws and I was a kid in the seventies so grew up with Star Wars too but WTF was The Last Jedi if not the dumbest piece of shit ever. Fucking Disney, always hated them cunts.

  22. There is no evidence to support this.
    I was very happy to see plenty of women’s action scenes in ‘Back door sluts 9’ – I am sure there were plenty of other men also happy to watch them.

    A pity, because if Elizabeth Banks could only keep her shite opinion to herself, then I would ride her like Seabiscuit – the filthy cow.

  23. Did you know the Hollywood sign is copyrighted, if you wish to use a picture of it in a commercial production it will cost you thousands.
    Good job Admin changed it to Hollywoke or they would DCMA that picture if it was real!

    I didn’t. It was that way when I found the photo on Google. Didn’t know that about the Hollywood sign…..not that I could give a shite and probably would’ve used it anyway – admin

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