I’d like to nominate shoe shops, because even when I try to put on a pair of size 8’s, I find that the laces are done up so tight, I can’t get my feet in them.
Even after I’ve loosened them, it’s the same problem. I asked a female assistant if she could give me a shoe horn, she looked at me like I was a perv.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
My diagnosis – stop me if you’ve already thought of this – is that you need a size 9. Or clown shoes?
11
Wear slippers or peaceful sandals.
Size 8? Same as Danny devito!
6
Already tried that Komodo, still the same problem.
1
You’ve tried clown shoes MM? The mind boggles….
1
If you get lucky in a shoe shop you can sometimes ogle down a shop assistant’s top while she’s on bended knee helping you slip on a shoe!
Other than that shoe shops are a load of old cobblers!
I’ll get my coat
6
I knew a one armed cobbler who made clown’s shoes.
No small feat….
14
I buy my shoes from a drug dealer, although I don’t know what he laces them with, I’ve been tripping all day.
17
Bootifull jokes
4
What a load of cobblers.
4
Not sure why it’s shoe shops that are being cunted here.
It’s not the shop’s fault you can’t force your size 9 dogs into a pair of size 8 shoes! Besides, what sort of person tries to get a new pair of shoes on when the laces are done up tight, FFS?
Am I missing something here?
Great cunting btw MM. 👍
7
I,of course,only buy all of my footwear from John Lobb of 9 St. James Street,London. I ordered a lovely bespoke pair of Russian Calf Riding Boots just the other day in readiness for the new Hunt season. I didn’t ask the price,that would be vulgar.
Perhaps you could try Sports Direct for your shoes,MM?
8
Its churchs brogues for me if im painting or gardening, but yes. Lobbs if formal!
Hawkes of saville row have some nice stuff thats where i get my rigger boots.
5
When working in a London always Grensons for me.
If regularly maintained would last for several years.
2
Perhaps you need to move up a size, MM?
I am not sure I am on-board with this cunting. I don’t wish to wield the mighty Cunting Invalidator TM, but cunting shoe shops? really?
Good cunting, nonetheless.
3
I remember a conversation I had with Oscar Pistorius where I said,
“If you had blacked up with shoe polish, you would have probably gotten away with it.”
As soon as I said it, I felt terrible.
Why would the cunt have shoe polish….
14
Size 8 for fucks sake they are a normal size shops should be able to sort them for ya there’s a fella at work who gets his boots from the dockyard he’s a fucking size 13 they could double as IOW ferries
3
I often get the shoe horn.
3
Normally have to get my shoes online these days being a UK size 12 makes it very unlikey to find my size In the regular man’s shoe fitters.
On a different note noticed another sheriff of cuntingham that is not me, cunting on the latest own jones nom.
Is that a usual thing to be copied and badly impersonated when one does not post for a while ?.
Who ever you are you are a cunt sir, the Cuntingham family can be traced baxk to the dark ages and I am the last decendent remaining ( unexplained deaths of other family members has nothing to do with me ).
It’s not our old friend is it ??
5
I thought he had been vanquished like throwing The Ring into Mount Doom or a more sedate “Fuck off, your blocked” from admin.
2
Whos this nefarious villian LL?
He sounds interesting!
Identity theft and all that!
Not that crybaby cunt the other day?
2
Someone did that to me too a while ago Sheriff
2
No Cunt has ever wanted to be me.I notice.
2
I wouldn’t my mind old fiddler sir you remind me of my father and his brothers. Back im the good ol days
2
Luckily I changed my avatar so can be sure im the real Sheriff kind sir. You should do the same stop any Inerlopers from besmirching your fine name sit.
2
Unfortunately there’s nowt to stop the imposter from changing his avatar to match your avatar Sheriff.
In fact, how do we know he hasn’t already done it… 😳
3
Good point! Few identity issues on here, multiple personalities,
Fraudulent sheriffs…
I gave that other sheriff £50, doubt ill see that again?
Luckily youll honour it sheriff eh?
2
T’was I m’Lord.
Unfortunately there was no way for me to know that the name was already taken. I am, by the way, very much a cunt.
Please accept my humble apologies.
Think I’ll be safe with the present alias though.
I did indeed cunt Owen “I’ll thqueam and thqueam until I’m sick because someone disagrees with me” Jones.
There’s at least 2 cuntings I have nominated under that alias. So I may have to apologise again. They may, however, end up on the cutting room (or should that be cunting room) floor.
I nothing of this ‘old friend’ of which you speak.
You could say I know naafink abaaaht it.
5
That’s fine and dandy dear cunt apologies accepted what what.
Just thought it was the sites old advisorie who would take on others titles and stir shit into the pot.
Forget his name but that and his address used to be in the header.
3
Velcro shoes for me 🙂
https://img.memecdn.com/ain-amp-039-t-nobody-got-time-for-that_o_1320485.webp
2
I hate shoes and fucking shoe shops. Whenever I buy shoes they are the wrong size and end up torturing my feet. Shoe shop assistants are as much use as a chocolate dildo. They don’t understand sizing and only interested in flogging after care products and shoe brushes.
Fuck off.
1
I rarely venture into a shoe shop these days, If I do, it is purely to stare at all of the nice shoes and dream that I can actually afford the fuckers.
I then wander away like a sad bitch.
I get most of my shoes online and ‘preloved’ (which is just a fluffier and less minging term for used/second hand) I find this actually a pretty good way to get shoes as the great thing is that they have already been ‘broken in’ as it were. Less chance of blisters and no need to soften up the fuckers in order to feel comfy in them.
Of course they are also cheap as chips, as David ‘Mullet and Mantan ‘ Dickinson would say.
6
A common sense approach to buying footwear Nurse Cunty, I go to Avis army supplies for boots/shoes.
They also sell ex army pants 90p a pair which is top value, for a tight cunt from Yorkshire like me
2
What’s wrong with slipons MM?
They’d also be so much easier to satisfy your shoe wanking fetish without the risk of tying your willie in knots.
4
If it’s shoe shop humour you cannot beat Al Bundy from married with children
Don’t have the link cause I’m a technophobe cunt
2
One thing I can’t stand the sight of is these young hipster bell ends wearing white socks with their trousers at half mast.
When I was at school that sort of thing would have got you a regular hiding from the local ruffians..
4
Dear fellow cunters, just for the avoidance of all doubt, my shoe size is most definitley, eight.
Good evening…
2